This week, Luxury Launches heralded the arrival of Swiss haberdasher Suitart’s Diamond Armor bespoke men’s suit, made of bulletproof material and bedazzled with black diamonds.

The suit is not only bulletproof (certified by NATO standards) as mentioned before, it’s also waterproof due to nano-technological sealing and is equipped with an active cooling system. It’s the only suit of its kind that has an air conditioning system developed by EMPA built into it. The integrated technology can be activated at the push of a button and offers cooling through humidification of water. To add elegance and class to the suit, the Diamond Armor is encrusted with 880 black diamonds. The lapel and the contours of the Diamond Armor are graced with 600 black diamonds each with a diameter of four millimeters and a total weight of 140 carat and the buttons of the jacket consist of Swiss watch steel 316L with DLC coating and are graced with additional 280 black diamonds. To match the opulence of the suit, it can be accessorized with a 24 carat golden silk tie developed by fabric specialist Weisbrod from Zurich and EMPA and Carl F. Bucherer limited edition watch.

Wearing a suit encrusted with diamonds and a tie of spun gold? Goodness gracious me, why would anyone want to harm you?

So not only is the suit Elvis-y as all hell, it’s bulletproof, waterproof and air-conditioned? The piling of insane Liberace-isms atop the suit’s James Bond features, combined with Suitart’s refusal thus far to release a photo of the thing, gives this announcement the heady stink of hoax, but such fabrics DO exist. Non-spangly armored suits have already been available for years to heads of state and people conducting international business in conditions of civil unrest, as this CBS News video explains. (Apologies in advance if it runs an ad, I can’t make it not do that.)
 

 
Still, the lack of a simple photograph showing an item at which the world would surely love to get a gander is disheartening. What Suitart has shared is this video dramatizing how their fabric stops bullets.
 

 
This video demonstrates how bullets can be stopped with a Ted Nugent guitar solo.