Ever wanted to be a sexy green turd for Halloween? Never fear for Halloween Costumes has you covered. Clearly it’s poking fun at Burger King’s limited edition “Halloween Whopper” which apparently is making some folks poop green.

BUT wait, there’s more! Not only is there a sexy turd outfit, there’s also the Burger King’s black “goth burger” costume to boot! (Unless the turd was actually standing beside the goth burger, I’m not so sure I would get the joke. Solo, I’d peg the turd for “sexy asparagus” cosplay.)

I’m still holding out for the sexy Kim Davis costume.

 

 
via Mashable

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Burger King’s black ‘goth burger’ coming to the USA just in time for Halloween?
Burger King goes ‘goth’ in Japan with their ‘Black Burger’ (and black cheese)

 
Last year, we brought you the news of Burger King’s limited edition Japan-only black hamburger. The unusual appearance of the so-called “Kuro Burgers” is due to their bamboo-coal-infused buns, squid-inked cheese, and pepper-encrusted meat patties.

A black hamburger. Why not? McDonald’s has its green “Shamrock Shake” every year for St. Patrick’s Day, why shouldn’t diehard goths be able to wolf down a seasonal “Kuro Burger” before they go trick or treating or to a Bauhaus reunion concert?

Now fast-food loving American goths will have a chance at eating this evil-looking fatty delicacy which will allegedly be known here as the “Halloween Whopper.”

Sadly, unlike the black burgers sold in Japan, the US version won’t have black cheese or the squid-ink sauce. Boo! Anecdotal reviews on Twitter and elsewhere have indicated that the Kuro burgers do not actually have an unusual taste, they just look good when being eaten by someone with a lot of eyeliner and teased up black hair.
 

 
Writing abysmal poetic laments, watching The Crow on endless loop, sleeping all day with your sunglasses on, and teasing your hair into a proper Robert Smith ape scrotum explosion can all add up to awfully hungry work, but regular food is so fucking conformist you could PUKE, and last we checked, there’s no such thing as SNACK Bar Sinister,* so when the pangs in your stomach echo the desperate, rapacious emptiness of your dismally fetid life itself, what’s a ravening Batcaver to do?

Luckily, Japan has the answer. Not the band (though they did have plenty of good tunes), but Japanese Burger King. Via Kotaku:

Burger King Japan is rolling out another “Kuro Burger” (“Black Burger”), with buns made from bamboo charcoal, an onion and garlic sauce made with squid ink, beef patties made with black pepper, and black cheese, which is also apparently made with bamboo charcoal.

There are two types of burgers: the Kuro (Black) Pearl and the Kuro (Black) Diamond with all the fixings. The burgers go on sale later this month in Japan for a limited time only

I’ve had pasta and paella colored black with squid ink, but the bamboo charcoal move is new to me. I assume it’s probably more or less flavorless in the quantities needed to render bread dough blacker than Clan of Xymox‘s sock drawer. Hopefully, Burger King’s Japanese execs read Dangerous Minds, and are working on a chicken sandwich made with Ayam Cemani chicken.
 

 

 
* Someone please do this, though.

 
(via BuzzFeed)

 
I’m not entirely sure what’s going on here, but it looks important.

(via TDW and Mike Mitchell’s Tumblr )

 
This Burger King commercial from 1980 falls into the “what the fuck were they thinking?” category. Sir Shake-A-Lot shimmies like a speedfreak after snorting a line of crystal meth the length of John Holmes’ blue-veined-blood-bomber. Sir Shake needs some Thorazine, quick! The dude is fried.