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That time Brian Eno posed nude for Bob Guccione
09.15.2016
12:07 pm
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From 1973 to 1980, Bob Guccione, publisher of Penthouse, had a magazine for the hetero women’s market called VIVA. The full title of the magazine was VIVA, The International Magazine For Women. If it was a response to Douglas Lambert’s magazine Playgirl, Guccione was moving awfully quickly, as the first issue of Playgirl had a cover date of June 1973. (Vol. 1, no. 1 for VIVA: October 1973.) One of the curious things about VIVA was that it was an early employer of Anna Wintour, who served as the fashion editor. (Wikipedia drily notes that Wintour “has rarely discussed working there.”) Noted erotic photographer Helmut Newton also worked for VIVA.

In the December 1974 issue of CREEM, there’s a single-page article by a writer named Kathy Miller under the title “ENO: Naked and Neurotic” that reported on Eno’s decision to pose for a nude photo spread for Guccione’s VIVA. The session apparently happened, but the pictures never ran. The whole thing’s a bit mysterious, and for all intents and purposes, Miller’s tittering, gossipy item seems to be just about the only true source for it all. (A scan of Miller’s article is embedded at the bottom of this post so that you can see it for yourself.)

The reason CREEM’s Miller was the one who reported on the incident was, the photoshoot took place at what was ostensibly a CREEM interview. It wasn’t a formal shoot and there was no formal contract or offer—merely Brian Eno and his representative, Simon Puxley (actually a close friend of Bryan Ferry’s), making an offer to do some “test shots,” which apparently then happened.
 

December 1974 issue of VIVA, which did NOT have naked pix of Brian Eno
  
According to Miller, the photographer was a woman—Eno says during the session that he could never pose nude for a dude. In a reference to his famously active sex life, Eno also boasts that “thousands have seen me nude.” Then there’s this:
 

The session hit a crescendo of surrealistica as Eno began twisting like a pretzel, saying, straight-faced: “Get a bun shot.” After suggesting that he be photographed spread-eagle “with all my rudeness showing,” Simon reminded Eno, who seemed a trifle hurt, that VIVA didn’t care about his genitalia, just his supple Grecian bod. He ran the gamut of tease poses: Eno teething fetchingly on a sheet, Eno fingering a glass of white wine “decadently,” Eno calling some girl on the phone whilst naked. After sprawling on his tummy, Eno was in a mild state of arousal. “Forgive me if I have a hard-on; it is certainly the way of nature. I can’t sit up,” he moaned.

“Yes, VIVA doesn’t like erections,” Simon thoughtfully mulled, “but they’re only test shots.”

“I’ll cover it with a book,” which Eno did unil he was once again discreet.

 
In his 2008 biography of Eno, On Some Faraway Beach, David Sheppard reports on the incident:
 

[Eno] was eager to essay the nude poses as he’d recently been approached by VIVA—press magnate Bob Guccione’s then newly launched “adult woman’s” magazine, one of the first to put full-frontal male nude shots between the staples. Whether VIVA actually saw the undoubtedly svelte Brian Eno as potential centrefold material remains unclear, for ultimately no Eno spread ever graced the magazine’s pages. Certainly Eno could see no reason why the CREEM session shouldn’t provide an opportunity for some trial snaps.

 
The whole thing seems to have been a bit of typical 1970s porny fun, all pretense, no real thought of Eno ever appearing in the magazine. The shoot was suggested as an occasion for “test shots,” which has to be defined as the very first steps to getting approved for publication as a nude model in the magazine, and Puxley uses the phrase a second time when he is mulling over VIVA’s likely take on Eno’s erect penis appearing in the photos (“they’re only test shots”).

The long and the short of it is, it seems the Brian Eno did pose nude for a magazine owned by Bob Guccione, but the pics were never used.

Obvious question: Whatever happened to those pictures??
 
Much more after the jump, including Eno yodeling…....

READ ON
Posted by Martin Schneider
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09.15.2016
12:07 pm
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‘Masculine arrogance blows’: Jonathan Richman’s letter to Creem magazine, 1973
05.19.2014
10:11 am
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Though I can’t dig up the issue to prove it, the backstory is supposedly this: In 1973, Creem magazine ran something negative on The Four Seasons, arguing that rock music demanded a “masculine arrogance.” Never one to stand for the besmirching of sweetness, Jonathan “I Was Dancing in the Lesbian Bar” Richman sent them a brief what-for.

For a reminder of what Richman does think of masculine arrogance, I added a little “Pablo Picasso” at the bottom. Though the tune was recorded in 1972, it wasn’t released until 1976 on The Modern Lovers’ eponymous debut. At the time of the letter, the band was still underground enough that the editor felt the need to add the explanatory note at the end.
 

 

Posted by Amber Frost
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05.19.2014
10:11 am
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Vidiot magazine’s bitingly satirical love advice to early 1980s nerds
08.26.2013
09:00 am
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Vidiot
 
Vidiot was a really cool project. In the early 1980’s, as video games moved from niche interest into legitimate subculture, the publishers of Creem had the cutting edge idea to start a really well-rounded gamer mag. In addition to more technical articles about the latest games, systems, and technology, Vidiot published topical personal essays by gamers, and covered video game history, in addition to a lot of general audiovisual topics. They reviewed movies and television that tended to appeal to the gamer crowd (think Monty Python, Tron, and Krull), and peppered each issue with relevant music articles, including an interesting review of a Beatles’ documentary from the perspective of a fan and AV enthusiast.

In an effort to appeal to the diverse interests of serious gamers as well as your average arcade rat, they used their Creem connections to get pictures of rock stars playing games. Everyone from Debbie Harry to Mick Ronson to Ted Nugent (they can’t all be winners) graced their pages, posing in front of their favorite consoles. Below you can see a picture of The New York Dolls’ David Johansen, who appeared in a retrospective article on pinball machines, the original arcade game.
 
David Johansen
 
Even though only five issues were published between September of 1982 and September of 1983, Vidiot was a really insightful look at an emerging generation of pre-Internet nerd culture. Nowadays, it could be argued that there’s really no such thing as an esoteric interest, since a quick Google search is all it takes to find peers. Back then? Probably harder to sniff out fellow enthusiasts.

Of course, this being a magazine primarily consumed by young, most likely nerdy dudes, there were also sexy pin-ups of girls playing Centipede. Vidiot was quite aware that its readership was not primarily comprised of “alpha” males, but instead of shying away from the topic, it cannily took the piss out of the virile macho man archetype with satire.
 
article photo
Check out that charming caption!
 
Below is the transcript from the hilarious article, “Arcade Macho: Pick Up or Shut Up.” The tone is angsty and snide, but the rejection of macho bullshit is a really intelligent, mature, feminist critique. Plus, who can’t relate to a little mockery of meatheads?

Ever got into a fight over a girl? Sure you have! As a red-blooded American guy, would you stoop to wimpdom by allowing some geek to steal your girl without a bloodletting fight? Of course not! Whether on the dance floor, football field, street or arcade we are fighting for but one thing: Women!

Women are the only motivational factor in a Man’s life. Next to videogaming, cars, whiskey, football, fishing, soldiering, hunting and sailing, that is. And, pray tell, if there were no women to show off to, then what’s the point?

Therefore you won’t want to set foot in an arcade without a few lessons in manly comportment of the videogaming kind. Obviously, the breed of woman you’ll find common in these garbage disposals for quarters play for keeps. And obviously, there ore other “men” who claim our sex as theirs. Despite their prowess at these interesting and undoubtedly manly games, many fit the definition of “wimp”—which is to be avoided at any cost, no matter how ridiculous. Would you do bottle with the L.A. Raiders in a punk rock hair-do (not cut) and a pocket calculator strapped to you imitation leather belt that holds up you spandex pants? Of course not! Take your pick: Manhood or wimpdom.

Read Sylvia Plath, Judith Krantz or W.H. Auden? Over Robert Mitchum’s dead body! Drink pina coladas? Seek the Duke’s stomach and burp it! Cry over a dead rock star? To quote Josie Cotton, “Johnny Are You Queer?” As far as Men are concerned. Charles Olson is a lineman for the Pittsburgh Steelers, right?

Fact.- all women love the smell of success. The more money you’ve got—or the higher the score—the better. Wonder never again why you see ugly old men with ungodly beautiful, sexy, voluptuous women. The deck is stacked—and if you’re on the winning side, so are the women.

The only reason to go to the arcade, of course, is to meet girls. Can you honestly admit you enjoy spending every cent you’ve got at the arcade when, by applying a few rules of business horsesense, you can own your fave game for home use? No, you can’t. Say it loud, say it proud: Girls Are Great!!

All right, men, the first lesson commences… let’s discuss what Real Men Do Not Wear To Arcades . Real men do not wear:

1) Pink Lacoste shirts. If you’re a preppie, that’s entirely your own problem. Remember pink = Wimp. Any other color’s acceptable. But if you really want to be a sex symbol—and what Man doesn’t?—buy a VIDIOT t-shirt.

2) Designer jeans. Would John Wayne wear ‘em? Naw, the Duke’d don nuthin’ fancier than Levi’s. And his word’s law, right?

3) Top siders. Hey, you can’t even run in the damn things. Any sort of tennis, basketball, jogging, all-around athletic shoe is In, Converse All-Stars being the coolest. All boots are manly (except the kind that feature the bags-at-the-ankle look which is strictly new wave/punk rock jerk-like), and cowboy boots are obviously the best way to get your point across. Or up.

Before heading out for an afternoon of hopeful arcade fun, take a gander in front of the mirror. Any of your lunch still between your teeth? Scrub ‘em again, sailor. There’s nothing on earth that’ll turn off all the little women quicker than mungmouth. Take a quick whiff o’ the pits to make sure they’re just so. Also, remove any gold chains, punk rock t-shirts and scarves. They aren’t manly.

When entering the arcade, strut around the joint with your hands thrust deep m your pockets with an impervious scowl on your face. No, you don’t own the place, but remember the law of Supply and Demand: I demand that you supply me with as many women as I desire! You gotta let the girls know who’s boss, plain and direct.

Before playing your first round of, say, Robotron, you might want to buy a soft drink. How you drink the soda is far more important than what brand. Grasp the can firmly in the palm of your hand, fingers wrapped completely around it. Before taking the first swig, catch the eye of the hottest babe. As you lift the can to your lips (elbow bent 90°) propose a toast in her honor- Here’s lookin’ “at” you! Eyes locked in, throw your head back and empty half the contents down your gullet. Lowering the can, smile at her, then burp loudly. This is essential for your initial introduction. She’ll feel that inner glow of security knowing that a Real Man is present. Then…

Walk away. There’s plenty o’ fish in the video sea. Besides, it’ll be at least an hour before that girl will be coherent enough to start worshiping you . Always remember it’s your moral obligation as an American Man to hit on as many females as possible.

One popular method of picking up girls at the arcade is by zeroing in on a filly having difficulty on your favorite game. Stride over after she’s blown the game a few times and say “Havin’ a rough go at it, dollface? Lemme show ya the ropes.” Proceed to explain the intricacies and finer points of the game. Be polite but firm. After explaining, drop a token into the slot, and then “coach” her. After she triples her original score, you can bet it’ll be Suckface City from there on in!

Let’s reiterate a fact: good women are worth fighting for. If you spot some Elmo employing the aforementioned method, sidle up next to the non-couple, tap the jerk on the shoulder and say “Excuse me, cupcake, your mother says it’s time for your Ovaltine and beddie-bye!” The idea, manly reader, is to simply embarrass the worm enough so he’ll be forced to crawl back under the rock from whence he come. Use your lurid imagination Occasionally, however, the breezebrain will miss the point: stronger medicine must be administered. This doctor prescribes (delivered in the loudest voice possible): “When did they let YOU out of the TERMINAL HERPES WARD!?!” Once he’s on all fours, headed for the door, it’s a mere skate to the desired goal. It’s not really all that fair, but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

In some instances, you may even be able to play fair. Let’s assume there’s a lustful lovely gazing on some dope racking up points on a game you know you can stomp the snot out of him on. Walk over, tap Percy on the shoulder and challenge him to a duel, winner (nod toward the babe) take all . The girl will be flattered that two men are going to duel over her — it’s an old trick that works every time. The only trick here’s not only do you have to beat the sap, ya gotta beat him bad. Show what a worthless sleazebag he really is.

If you’re really smart, before even challenging the bozo, hip your buddies to what you’re gonna do. Tell them that after you demolish the sucker at the game, you want one guy to approach the Big Loser and say, “Let meeee be the first to kick you when you’re down: maybe you need a pair o’ granny glasses!” Have your second pal say, “Don’t worry — I hear they’re making a braille version of that game!” Your third and final friend should say something like, “Please don’t cry out here — go in the little girls’ room!” And you, the Cool Winner, should turn to your new prize and ask, “Wanna hop in my van and listen to the new Rush album?”

Guaranteed to work every time!!

 
gamer pin-up

Posted by Amber Frost
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08.26.2013
09:00 am
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