Despite the brave and noble efforts of the iconoclastic naifs espousing punk’s anyone-can-play ethos, almost all music still remains captive ‘neath the omnipowerful thumb of the instrumentally and compositionally adequate. But this hegemonic stranglehold of the modicum-of-talent nazis does not go unchallenged. In the underbelly of heavy metal—a genre whose tradition for shredding solos unfairly excludes the totally giftless from giving life to their creative visions unless they play bass—a visionary movement is emerging that defies the ironfisted rule of able craft by doing away with instruments.
 

 
First, there were the onomatopoetic godfathers Jud Jud. Formed by members of Assück and Murder-Suicide Pact, their instruments were their voices, “Left Jud” and “Right Jud.” Accordingly, you’ll want to bust out the headphones for this (and maybe a little ganj, bruh), as there are MINDBLOWING STEREO TRICKS. Just because you’re not playing anything doesn’t mean you can’t like totally explore the studio as an instrument, man.
 

Jud Jud—”Fast Song”
 

Jud Jud—”Wah Wah Song”
 
There’s a pigpile of free Jud Jud MP3s at WFMU’s blog. Go getcha some.
 

 
The next artist to come along and smash the tyranny of capability was the Japanese master Dokaka. Though not strictly a metal artist, his completely awesome re-interpretations of metal classics utterly shame the instrumentally apt original artists with the steely-eyed determination of the outsider with something to prove.
 

Dokaka—”Angel of Death” (Slayer)
 

Dokaka—”The Trooper” (Iron Maiden)

But lo, on the horizon, an upstart! Jud Jud and Dokaka have taken aim at the cruelly despotic autocracy of having what it takes by substituting scat vocals for instrumental beds, and they’ve even spawned some pale imitations, but via Music For Maniacs, we learn of the brutal emergence of Blue Tapes’ recording artists EyeSea, who eschew even that:

EyeSea’s “blue ten” is an entire album of Cookie Monster vocals going ‘rowr rowr rowr’, screams, and silences. And they don’t cheat by sneaking in other sounds - there really are no other instruments.  Are they even “singing” in English, or is this a guy clearing his throat for 22 minutes?

LISTEN UPON THESE WORKS, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR.