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Papa Oom Mow Mow: The Hemingway Way
06.07.2011
07:54 pm
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Dangerous Minds pal and “America’s Luscious Beacon of Truth” (that’s what his press kit says) Marty Beckerman has a new book out: The Heming Way: How to Unleash the Booze-Inhaling, Animal-Slaughtering, War-Glorifying, Hairy-Chested, Retro-Sexual Legend Within… Just Like Papa!, a satirical look at Ernest Hemingway’s life and many misguided ideas:

Fifty years have passed since the death of Ernest Hemingway, history’s ultimate man, and young males today—obsessed with Facebook, Twitter, and Nintendo—know nothing about his legendary brand of rugged, alcoholic masculinity. They cannot skin a fish, dominate a battlefield, or transform majestic creatures of the Southern Hemisphere into piano keyboards.

It was not always this way. We can undo this descent into vegan emasculation. All we need is a teacher, a savior. Not a messiah, but a mansiah. All we need is Papa.

With chapters such as “For Whom the Beer Flows,” “Death in the Afternoon… Lunch is Served,” “A Farewell to Smooth Arms, Backs, Faces, Taints, etc.,” and “The Old Man and the See You in Hell,” former Esquire editor Marty Beckerman demonstrates how modern eunuchs—brainwashed by PETA and Alcoholics Anonymous—can realize their full potential as drunken, unshaven, meat-devouring, wife-divorcing, gloriously self-destructive manimals.

The Heming Way is a difficult path, and not for the weak, but truth is manlier than fiction.

Read an excerpt from the book:
How to drink, the Hemingway way: The self-destructive drinker knew what he liked when it came to alcohol. Here are some of his hard-learned tips (Salon)

Posted by Richard Metzger
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06.07.2011
07:54 pm
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Marty Beckerman: Worst Decade Ever
01.01.2010
11:47 pm
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Dangerous Minds pal Marty Beckerman on why the 2000s were the worst decade ever. I think we all feel pretty much the same way, don’t we? (Except that I rate “Jersey Shore” as the decade’s final, crowning moment of painful redemption, its, uh, gelled-up crown of thorns, if you will…)

To paraphrase former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld?

Posted by Jason Louv
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01.01.2010
11:47 pm
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Marty Beckerman: Kill Fatty
10.16.2009
03:43 pm
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Dangerous Minds pal Marty Beckerman just sent me his new article, “Kill Fatty,” a proposal of Swiftian proportions:

Overweight people are fucking abhorrent, which seems like an obvious and uncontroversial statement, but you cannot turn your head these days without gawking at the vile cascades of shapeless distended flesh that ubiquitously engulf your grotesque countrymen.


Look at these nauseating statistics:

1. 33 percent of Americans are overweight, according to the federal government.
2. Another 34 percent are obese, which is even worse.
3. Six percent are ?

Posted by Jason Louv
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10.16.2009
03:43 pm
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