A common refrain that’s been appearing on comment boards regarding Ted Cruz’s faux filibuster is “If Republicans AND Democrats hate him so much, then he’s got to be doing SOMETHING right!”

I’m pretty sure that this simpleton’s homily has been repeated enough on Fox News and reichwing talk radio to have already become a truism in many a tiny mind, but it’s not true… I’m fairly certain that Democrats and Republicans could agree on child abusers—they’re not doing anything “right”—so this rhetorical foolishness is utterly meaningless.

No, both sides of the aisle hate Cruz because he’s a smarmy, greasy, supercilious dickhead. That’s all that unites the two parties when it comes to Ted Cruz: he’s a repellent, Brylcreemed weasel with the single most annoying voice I think I have ever heard, bar none. If Cruz thinks he’s going to become POTUS one day with a weak, reedy voice like his, he’s got another thing coming.

He’s 42 and he already comes off like a taller Peter Lorre!

The dude’s a total creep on every level.

In the video, Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin hilariously attacks Ted Cruz on the Senate floor. This is totally worth watching, but the good part starts at 5:50. Durbin slams Cruz at the end. Slams him with one simple question.

The media seems to be concentrating on all the Green Eggs and Ham stuff. (Cruz doesn’t even understand Green Eggs and Ham.) THIS is the best part of the entire thing: