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‘All I eat is raw meat’: REALLY weird letters to Santa from 1920s rural kids
12.22.2017
06:55 am
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Some believe that today’s generation is perhaps the most spoiled and entitled in history,  which is certainly debatable, but if you want anecdotal evidence that kids were perhaps much less spoiled a few generations back, I humbly offer these unbelievably weird “letters to Santa” which were printed in South Carolina’s Abbeville Press and Banner in 1922.

These rural kids didn’t seem to have a whole lot of use for Santa and his promise of gifts—some, going so far as to call ole St. Nick a fraud and threatening him with violence. The few kids that don’t straight up call Santa out, ask him to leave presents for other kids who are worse off than them. Times were definitely different.

“I have a big dog in my yard to bite you if you come around this Christmas.”
 

 
Robert Jackson, the “Fighter of Church Street,” only eats raw meat. Abbeville, your kids are fuckin’ weird.
 

 
Maybe this kid was going for some kind of reverse psychology on Santa, or had some kind of martyr complex?
 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Christopher Bickel
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12.22.2017
06:55 am
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Restored Rudolph and Santa figures from ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’: Only ten million bucks


 
Generally, I feel like cultural consensus is something from which to run away, but I’m 100% behind the near-unanimous regard for the Rankin-Bass stop motion Christmas specials as being pretty much some of the greatest filmed entertainment ever. As I am a grouchy Jew bastard who has for his entire life massively loathed the annual hegemonic takeover of that exceptionally toxic collision of the most insincere, tribal aspects of American Style Christianity™ and conspicuous consumption run amok, Christmasprodukt that would win me over has some pretty huge hurdles to clear, and shows like The Year Without a Santa Claus, Jack Frost, and the immortal, brilliant, and untouchable Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer clear all of them with miles to spare.

Apart from sharp writing that possesses uncommon intergenerational appeal, one of the Rankin-Bass specials’ most consistent charms is the distinctive character puppet design by stalwart MAD Magazine illustrator Paul Coker, Jr. I once read—in an article I just spent half the morning failing to find, so alas, I can’t link it here—that few to none of the character puppets survived, as they were constructed to be only just tough enough to survive filming. And that makes this eBay sale very exciting—it’s the authenticated original Santa Claus and Rudolph figures from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. These were once believed lost, but turned up in the ‘oughts, having been part of a family’s Christmas decorations, kept in a box and hauled out annually for decades. When they were discovered, they were restored by Time and Space Toys, and have since gone on exhibit and been featured on Hollywood Treasure. Their restoration was even the subject of a segment on CNN:
 

 
The asking price for these puppets is TEN MILLION DOLLARS. A high price is certainly justified by the extreme rarity and cultural significance of these remarkable items, but this has to be said: if you have that kind of money to burn and you spend it on what, in the end, amounts to two fucking dolls, may the gods judge you mercifully, and please consider a gift of similar size to homeless shelters and food banks. But now I’ll get off my soapbox and show you a bunch of puppet photos that’ll hit you right in all your goddamn Goyishe Christmas feels.
 

 

 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Ron Kretsch
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12.20.2017
12:29 pm
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Ho ho ho! Here’s Andy Warhol as Santa and Truman Capote with a lollipop on the cover of High Times


 
It won’t surprise anyone to learn that the December 1978 issue of High Times went with a holiday theme. More surprising might be the identity of the two models masquerading as Santa Claus and one of his elves, those being, respectively, Andy Warhol, the most dominant artist of the postwar period, and Truman Capote, one of greatest literary writers the U.S. produced in the same timeframe.

Especially in 1978, Tru and Andy were more or less synonymous with the fabulous goings-on at Studio 54 and elsewhere. Both men were known to hang with an illustrious and sparkly group of personages, and both were public figures at a moment when TV had deepened its clutches on the middlebrow slice of America—hence, more creative and bizarre media opportunities for everyone.

The cover was supposed to feature Capote wearing a “little girl outfit,” but he was drunk and not in the mood to go drag that day. In The Andy Warhol Diaries, for the date of September 26, 1978, we find this:
 

Truman was coming to the Factory at 3:00 for the High Times Christmas cover photograph of him and me. Truman was early, 2:30.

...

Paul Morrissey was down, and he and Truman talked all afternoon about scripts and things. Then Toni arrived four hours late, she had a Santa costume for me and a little girl outfit for Truman. But Truman wasn’t in the mood to go into drag, he said that he was already dressed like a little boy. Truman was really drunk, hugging around.


 
Toni Brown is the “Toni” mentioned in the diary that day; she was the art director for High Times, whom Warhol had met in the spring of 1978. According to Victor Bockris’ biography of Warhol, Brown and Warhol fell into cahoots for a stretch in 1978:
 

[Warhol] had also become friendly with the art director of High Times magazine, a powerful woman named Toni Brown whose overt, humorous personality fitted his needs. Soon a lot of people at the Factory were throwing up their hands in dismay over the amount of time Andy was spending with Toni.


 
In Warhol’s diary, Brown pops up in just a handful of entries, and her appearances are entirely limited to 1978. The folks at the Factory needn’t have worried so much—Warhol’s diary entry from late September documenting the cover shoot is actually the last time her name appears in the book.

By the way, here is the final cover:
 

 
Warhol shows surprising equanimity after being made to wait for four hours—I’d've been arranging a contract hit, myself—although that may have factored into their not being as close after that; either Brown paid a price for being cavalier about Warhol’s time or else Warhol’s usefulness to Brown evaporated the moment that she had secured the desired cover photo. Or both!

Four years ago the Warhol Museum ran a note about that day on its website, in which the possible identity of the pooch is discussed:
 

An artist as prolific as Andy Warhol was bound to have their share of bizarre media coverage. In December of 1978, he and his good friend and collaborator Truman Capote appeared on the cover of an issue of High Times. Warhol is wearing a Santa suit, and is holding a dog, possibly one of his dachshunds Amos or Archie.

 
More pics from this bizarre and merry photo shoot after the jump…...
 

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Posted by Martin Schneider
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12.14.2017
11:06 am
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Get stoned with Santa and the Grinch! Awesome Christmas-themed bongs and pipes


A massive Grinch bong made by Smoking Peppers in Durango, Colorado.
 
If your life’s dream has been to get stoned using a pipe that was fashioned after everyone’s favorite Christmas bunny, Ralphie from the 1983 classic holiday film A Christmas Story, then I have great news for you. Such a pipe exists, and it can be yours just in time to meet Santa under the tree so you can smoke a sweet bowl of full of Bruce Banner (one of my preferred strains) together. Christmas is SAVED!

In addition to their sweet Ralphie pipe, California company Chameleon Glass also makes a pipe in the image of the Grinch, the abominable snowman Bumble from the Rankin/Bass’ Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964), and of course Santa. I also dug up a Frosty the Snowman pipe for 45 bucks here, as well as a couple of cool snowmen bongs. If you’re a fan of Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas, there are a few bongs and pipes out there that pay homage to characters in the film like Jack Skellington and the Oogie Boogie.

The most covetable of the all of the bongs and pipes seen here, of course, is the bong pictured at the top of this post of our beloved grumpy Grinch which was made by a glass artist for Smoking Peppers in Durango, Colorado. The impressive bong was priced at $1200—though I’m unsure if it sold so perhaps you still might be able to give the greatest Christmas gift of all time to yourself or your favorite stoner.

I’ve provided links to purchase the various holiday-themed smoking devices under their images. Stay stoned my friends.
 

Another look at the Grinch bong.
 

The Ralphie pipe by Chameleon Glass. Get it here.
 

Frosty the Snowman glass pipe. Get it here.
 
More festive glass after the jump…

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Posted by Cherrybomb
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12.04.2017
10:41 am
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Behold the Christmas onesie that will make you look like a super sleazy version of Santa Claus
12.04.2017
09:34 am
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A look at the Christmas “Belovesie” from the Utah-based company, Beloved.
 
Like it or not, onesies for adults are a thing and have been a thing for a while now. We’ve featured novelty onesies on Dangerous Minds before, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen one more terrifying than the one I came across today by Utah-based company Beloved. According to their website, Beloved calls their brand of onesies “Belovesies,” and they seem to sell a lot of them, including their super sleazy looking Christmas Belovesie with an all-over print of Santa Claus—but not the jolly traditional image of Santa in his red suit. Because what fun would that be?

The Christmas Belovesie from Beloved features a realistic-looking all-over print of Santa wearing a pair of skimpy red underpants which exposes his tattooed, hairy body. The image is further accentuated with a couple of round glass ornaments dangling from his nipples. To make matters even worse (or much better if you’re into this kind of thing) is that the getup zips up over your damn head making your transition into sleazy Santa complete. The terrifying one-piece will run you $129.95 and if you want one in time for the upcoming holiday season, the order deadline is December 7th. Good luck with that.
 

The back of the Christmas “Belovesie.”

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
‘Santa Claus vs. Satan’ with a festive soundtrack of lite-psyche & bubble gum music
Alice Cooper, Jimi, James Brown, Marc Bolan, Frank Zappa (and many more) do Santa
Horrifying full body spandex Santa Claus suit
Magical vintage photos of Hollywood Boulevard becoming ‘Santa Claus Lane’ in the 1920s and 30s

Posted by Cherrybomb
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12.04.2017
09:34 am
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Alice Cooper, Jimi, James Brown, Marc Bolan, Frank Zappa (and many more) do Santa
12.23.2015
09:23 am
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Alice Cooper playing Ping-Pong with Santa
Alice Cooper playing ping-pong with Santa
 
‘Tis the Season folks and as I’m getting ready to roll off Dangerous Minds for a week, I wanted to share some choice photos of famous folks dressed up like our savior, Santa Claus or in some cases, just hanging out with jolly old Saint Nicholas.
 
Marc Bolan as Santa Claus
Marc Bolan as Santa Claus
 
James Brown as Santa Claus
James Brown
 
Lemmy Klaus!
Lemmy Klaus!
 
I really never get tired of pursuing the Internet for vintage images of celebrities and musical icons doing stuff that we all do, but I think this post is a doozy. I had all but forgotten about that time Nancy Reagan sat on Mr. T’s lap (who was dressed as Santa) at the White House during Christmas in 1983. Didn’t you?

From icons like Frank Zappa to Marc Bolan, even John Waters being confronted by Santa as he’s trying to steal a rib roast, and Ginger Rogers looking downright Cockettish in a Santa beard, I’ve got your Christmas covered in photos that are funny, touching and simply weird. Which is exactly how I like to roll. Merry Christmas, Dangerous Minds readers and thanks for digging us this year.
 
Nancy Reagan and Mr. T at the White House during Christmas time, 1983
Nancy Reagan and Mr. T at the White House during Christmas, 1983
 
Frank Zappa in a Santa suit
Frank Zappa
 
Wait until you see the one of a young Johnny Thunders, after the jump…

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Posted by Cherrybomb
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12.23.2015
09:23 am
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Bad Santa: Santa Claus behaving badly
12.14.2015
09:12 am
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Republican Santa takes a selfie with a fascist

Recenlty I was thinking about the movie Bad Santa and the epic “fuck stick” scene. And for whatever reason, that thought led me down the rabbit hole of trying to find some real life “Bad Santas.”

I think it was a pretty successful journey if these images that I brought back are anything to go by.

By the way, the worst offending Santa in my opinion is the Donald Trump-supporting St. Nick. Screw that guy! I don’t want your gifts, asshat. Bah! Humbug!


Apparently Santa ran out of dolls
 

Santa and his smokey treat, NYC, 1963
 

Santa getting arrested
 

Santa giving guns to three infants
 

BDSM bear Santa
 
More after the jump…
 

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Posted by Tara McGinley
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12.14.2015
09:12 am
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Nomi Noël: get your holiday jollies with ’Santa Klaus Nomi’
12.02.2015
08:49 am
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As ridiculous single-serving Twitter accounts go, “Santa Klaus Nomi” is worth a look. A holiday-themed send-up of the great and utterly singular operatic New Wave singer Klaus Nomi, it’s not the most original joke—I dimly recall a Chicago record store running a Santa Klaus Nomi ad in Lumpen 20 years ago, and there must be examples from the ‘80s as well. It’s just too obvious.

Though it was established in 2009, the oldest tweet seems to be from 2012 (posting ramps up around the holidays, surprise surprise), and it was joined in 2013 by a Facebook account, but the latter seems to exist solely for the sake of retweets. The account reactivated yesterday after a months-long spell of infrequent posting, with the following:
 

 
That’s pretty much the gist: pseudo-philisophical Christmasy ruminations so densely, elliptically faux-Teutonic as to put Mike Myers’ “Sprockets” sketches to shame. And its parody of that acutely angular and grimly serious post-WWII German expressionist trip is every bit as affectionate and funny as those old SNL bits.
 

 

 
Much more after the jump…

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Posted by Ron Kretsch
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12.02.2015
08:49 am
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Bad Santa: Creepy vintage photos of some nightmares before Christmas
12.24.2014
05:02 pm
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“Santaphobia” is (apparently) the term for a persistent fear of Santa Claus usually caused by coming into close proximity (by no doubt sitting on his knee) at Christmastime. It’s not genetic, so one child in a family can have it while their brother or sister may not. Now, I like Santa, even the beardy-weirdy ones that look like they’ve escaped from the pages of a Stephen King novel, but do appreciate how unnerving some people may find jolly old Saint Nick. For example, take a look at these strangely compelling photos of young ones being traumatized by their encounter with Father Christmas. Perhaps it’s the beard, or the Halloween mask-like face, or just the thought that this weird old guy knows who’s been naughty and nice… and wants you to sit on his lap and tell him what you want?

Whatever you’ve been this year, naughty or nice, I hope Santa’s very good to you.
 
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More bad Santas after the jump…

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Posted by Paul Gallagher
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12.24.2014
05:02 pm
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Satanic Christmas sweaters let you flip the bird (or the goat horns) at the holidays
12.12.2014
01:33 pm
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The ironic phenomenon of ugly Christmas sweaters hit shark-jump levels of cultural saturation so rapidly that I actually can’t even remember any early window of time when it wasn’t irritating (though in all fairness, I get irritated pretty easily). Entirely apart from its annoying ubiquity, the whole thing feels kind of shitty, like it’s not really mocking Christmas to wear them, it’s more like mocking people who just happen to like gaudy sweaters. And is that not punching down?

The upside of this dopey annual crap-pageant has been the profusion of cheeky takedowns. The Descendents have been making awesome gag Christmas sweaters for years, and now, the twisted bastards at Middle of Beyond have given the world outright Satanic Christmas sweaters. MoB, regular DM readers may remember, are the preposterous visionaries who gave the world devil tarot card throw rugs and winter gear patterned after the carpeting in the Overlook Hotel from Stanley Kubrik’s film version of The Shining. I actually plunked for one of those Shining scarves, and to my horror, I found, when it arrived, that it was 100% acrylic (my own fault for neglecting the fine print). But for Christmas sweaters, that material isn’t just a requisite, it’s positively a boon. Designs include a straight up old-fashioned Satanic goat head snugly nestled in a red pentagram, Cthulu, Krampus, and a zombiefied Santa Claus festooned with braaaaaaiiiiiiins. So why settle for giving Christmas the finger when you can flash it the goat horns?
 

 

 

 

 
Previously on Dangerous Minds
Merry Krampus: ‘horribly distasteful Christmas sweater’
Righteous Motörhead Christmas sweater

Posted by Ron Kretsch
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12.12.2014
01:33 pm
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Demons Dance: Santa Claus battles Satan in weirdo Mexican kids flick
12.10.2014
05:57 pm
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A curious and quaint staple of 60s and 70s small town rural/rust belt life was the “roadshow” matinee of themed film packages that would come through town, usually around a holiday. I grew up in Wheeling, WV and there were some pretty well freaked out roadshows that I can recall seeing as a kid.

The most “normal” ones were probably an annual five hour Beatles marathon that I sat through several times and double bills of Charleton Heston biblical epics The Ten Commandments and Ben Hur. Then there were the cinematic endurance tests that featured In Search of Dracula, Bigfoot, UFO “ancient astronauts” docs and lots of things narrated by Orson Welles. Being in the heart of the Bible belt—surprise, surprise—I was also subjected to a lot of Christian “End of the World” fare like The Late Great Planet Earth (narrated and starring Orson Welles, who must’ve really hurting for money when he made that turkey) and similar things, like The Man Who Saw Tomorrow about Nostradamus and starring—wait for it—Orson Welles. Hammer horror film bills that would start at 11am and finish at 6pm were a perennial favorite and so were Steve Reeves’ Hercules movies marathons and over-the-top gore shit like Night of the Bloody Apes and Herschell Gordon Lewis’ Blood Feast and 2000 Maniacs.

These packages were put together and would travel with one person who probably owned the prints themselves and would rent out a local movie theater, church or school auditorium, screen them and then move on to the next town. The yearly Christmas package was ultra demented, consisting of the by now familiar Santa Claus Conquers the Martians made famous by Mystery Science Theater 3000 and a kooky Mexican curiosity from 1959 simply titled Santa Claus.
 

 
Here’s the IMDB synopsis for Santa Claus. To attempt my own would be… utterly pointless:

Santa Claus, high above the North Pole in his cloud-borne castle equipped with more surveillance devices than the Impossible Mission Force, prepares to deliver presents on Christmas night. Santa is especially interested in helping Lupita, the daughter of a poor family who wants nothing more than a doll; and a young boy whose parents are so wealthy they never spend any time with him (Santa fixes this by feeding them Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters). However, the Devil will have none of this and sends his minion, Pitch, to foil Santa’s plans. Pitch in turn recruits three Naughty Boys to help him set traps for Santa.

They left out any mention of the Merlin character (yes, Santa Claus, Satan, Merlin the Magician and Vulcan (who makes a special key for Santa) are all in the same hallucinogenic Mexican children’s film) but otherwise that manages to wrangle more sense out of the plot than is merited, trust me.
 

 
What a thing of wonder Santa Claus truly is, but it’s also pretty fucking bad and I’m not about to suggest that you watch the entire thing for some sort of ironic “enjoyment” because I doubt much of it will be found here, EXCEPT for the astonishingly insane dancing demons scene that happens at about ten minutes into the film. It’s like Häxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages meets this Marc Almond video, not exactly the sort of thing you expect to see at the beginning of a film aimed at little kids!

That Santa Claus was directed by the same guy who was behind the camera for Night of the Bloody Apes, René Cardona, well… makes sense! The film was bought for American distribution by K. Gordon Murray, the “King of the Kiddie Matinee” known for his redubbing and re-releasing of foreign fairy tale movies and Mexploitation luchador films.

Go straight to the ten-minute mark to see the demons dance and imagine yourself as a wide-eyed child being exposed to this Sid and Marty Krofft meets Ken Russell vision of the bowels of Hell…
 

Posted by Richard Metzger
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12.10.2014
05:57 pm
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I saw Santa being crucified: Have a gawk at the most controversial Christmas decoration in Texas
12.20.2013
08:23 am
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santacruci.jpg
 
It must have been a quiet day at 6 News when they reported on complaints over the bloody effigy of a crucified Santa Claus, exhibited outside a house in Corpus Christi, Texas. According to a local news report, the nailed-up Santa is being described as offensive and inappropriate by some local residents.

But Aaron Olivares, who created the display, claims his crucified Santa is just “a Christmas ornament.”

“It’s December, it’s Christmas time. It is just a Christmas ornament.”

6 News were not to be so easily fobbed off by such festive excuses, and reporter Heather Jackson probed deeper, wondering if there was not something far more sacrilegious (perhaps even something Satanic?) going on with this bloody-faced, “zombie” Santa, nailed to a cross and topped with a crown of barbwire. But Olivares proved to be intransigent to questioning:

Aaron: “The crown of barbwire? A little more decoration. That is about it.”

Heather: “You never thought about the Jesus reference or..?”

Aaron: “Naw, it really, it didn’t come to me like that, I didn’t see nothing offensive on it…It’s nothing Satanic it is just decorations for Christmas.”

When asked whether it could be construed as being offensive to Christians, Olivares said no, claiming he was religious:

“I’m Christian, I mean there is a God and there is a devil.”

But some local residents do think it is offensive, like Rick Mesa:

“The cross is the big thing. The cross. Santa Claus is you know well, you can put Santa Claus on a hood, put Santa Claus on your roof, put Santa Claus in your yard, why put him on a cross?”

Though some neighbors don’t seem to mind, like Blanca Perelta, who lives directly across the street.

“It doesn’t really bother me. Everyone likes it who brings me home. My friends all joke about it.”

Either way, Aaron Olivares isn’t moved:

“Get out of my yard. If you don’t like it ... don’t drive by here.”

Aaron’s a Gadsden flag in human form. Don’t tread on him! Dude don’t care what you think.
 

 
Via Arbroath

Posted by Paul Gallagher
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12.20.2013
08:23 am
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They didn’t think this one through (or did they?): Phallic milk chocolate Santa Claus
12.10.2013
01:08 pm
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It looks innocent enough until, you know, unwrap the aluminum foil covering.

I have to ask myself though, “Was this done on purpose?” I mean, Santa’s belt buckle does read “ANL Choco” and it also says “Surprise Toys” on the side of it.

I can’t find this anywhere online. If any of you fine readers know where to purchase one, I’ll link to it. Besides, I’m super curious about this er, special Santa Claus. 

With thanks to Kip Silverman!

Posted by Tara McGinley
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12.10.2013
01:08 pm
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Horrifying full body spandex Santa Claus suit
12.06.2013
11:53 am
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This just ain’t right… Here’s a skintight spandex Santa Claus bodysuit that can be yours… It’s available to purchase at Rubie’s Costume Company. I can’t find the price for this scary-as-shit leotard on their website, but someone needs to use this in a Santa horror flick, stat!

Via Laughing Squid

Posted by Tara McGinley
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12.06.2013
11:53 am
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‘Santa the Hutt’ mocks Christmas gluttony and excess


 
The BetaBrand store, located in San Francisco’s Mission district, has a vile, blobby yuletide greeting I can totally get on board with: Santa the Hutt! 

According to Chris from BetaBrand:

Our aim: To poke fun at holiday excess and explore anti-Santa sentiment. Our achievement: Over a thousand people have taken holiday photos at our Valencia Street store since rolling him out last week.

snip~

He now begrudgingly poses for holiday photos with Valencia Street shoppers if only because he’s too obese to move.

Santa the Hutt seems unlikely to be posing for Playgirl anytime soon…
 

 

 
Via Boing Boing

Posted by Tara McGinley
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12.03.2013
09:43 am
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