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Islamic group issues fatwā on croissants!
07.31.2013
02:42 pm
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This makes absolutely NO SENSE.

Al Arabiya is reporting that a sharia committee closely associated with a faction of Syrian rebels in Aleppo has apparently issued a religious ruling declaring croissants(!) to be “haram” (forbidden under strict Islamic practices).

The, er, logic, if you can call it that, behind the fatwā forbidding the French pastry popular the world over is that the crescent shape of croissants apparently celebrates European colonialists’ victory over Islam. I know that’s what I’m thinking every morning when I eat mine! Aren’t you?

In 2011, a Somalian Islamist group, the al-Shabaab al-Mujahedin Movement, declared a holy war on the savory Egyptian meat pastries shaped like triangles called sambousa, because a triangle is supposed to symbolize the Holy Trinity, never mind that it’s been a Middle East diet staple probably for centuries. What shape WOULD these assholes approve of for someone else’s food? Talk about OCD control freaks, this takes it to a whole new level of group psychosis!

And here’s the thing, The Free Syria Army, the ones who issued this fatwā against fluffy, buttery bread is one of the more moderate groups fighting Assad! Another one issued a ban on listening to music—any music—and to make little girls wear veils. Still another wants to ban women from driving. They even set up their own informal tribunals for this!

Poor Syria, obviously the country has much bigger problems than merely deposing a brutal despot when the proposed “new bosses” want to dictate the very shape of their food.

Posted by Richard Metzger
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07.31.2013
02:42 pm
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