OK, so maybe it’s not quite as bad as this butchering of “Sweet Child of Mine” or this total annihilation of “Comfortably Numb,” but this gloriously awful choral rendition of Foreigner’s classic rock radio staple, “Cold As Ice,” surely deserves its own page in the annals of terrible cover song history.

This video, uploaded three years ago, purports to be Fairhope High School Choir’s entry into a competition to play onstage with Foreigner in Mobile, Alabama.

I almost feel bad laughing at this because they’re kids and they’re trying so hard… well, OK, admittedly they’re not trying all that hard.

The bizarro costume choices (what’s up with the white hoodies?), inexplicable makeup (is that green blush?) and choreographed dance moves add an extra layer of WTF to this particularly unrocking arrangement. The kids, at times, look truly embarrassed to be involved in this and you can’t help but feel a little sad for their cruel humiliation. I’m sure it was their greatest unfulfilled dream to play onstage with Foreigner some day!

These poor, poor kids.

Watch it, after the jump…

 
No, these aren’t photos from last year’s Coachella festival—which is beginning to look more and more like Spring Break for dumb and pretty trust fund kids, but I digress… They were taken at various high schools around Southern California in 1969 by LIFE photographer Arthur Schatz.

I wonder if H&M took any style inspiration from these photos for their new “H&M Loves Coachella” line? Aside from the plastic surgery, not much has changed…

 

 

 

 
More after the jump…

 
Clayton County, Georgia high school senior Paris Gray could possibly be held from walking at graduation this year due to her—IMO, brilliant—yearbook quote. Paris’ clever quote, “When the going gets tough just remember to Barium, Carbon, Potassium, Thorium, Astatine, Arsenic, Sulfur, Uranium, Phosphorus” which translates to on the periodic table “Back That Ass Up.”

In its entirety:

When the going gets tough just remember to back that ass up.

 
Paris, who’s a senior class vice president, a member of SADD, the Beta Club, and a leader on campus said, “I think their reaction was beyond what it should have been because nobody understood it.”

Paris was kept from participating in the senior walk, and she was slated to give the inspirational speech at the graduation ceremony, but says an assistant principal told her she was out

.

snip~

“My first reaction was, you are such a nerd,” said Gray’s mother Zarinah Woods.

Paris’ mother is meeting with the area superintendent and the principal today to sort everything out. I really hope Paris gets to walk in the graduation ceremony. She deserves it.

via BuzzFeed and WSB-TV

 
Thanks to XLR8R staff writer Cameron Macdonald for the heads-up. No, that’s not Cameron above.
 
In a heartland drenched in booze, Oxy, Xanax, sugar, and TV, it only makes sense for parents to take action on the hugely important issue of their kids listening to mind-altering sounds, right?

We’re back here again, are we, Mr. and Mrs. America?

The whole thing seems to have started this spring when KFOR NewsChannel 4 reported on a letter that Mustang, Oklahoma school administrators sent to parents about the “new and dangerous fad…called I-Dosing, or digital drugs.”
 

More after the jump…