You can file this one under “something you don’t see every day.” On May 29, kung fu master Ye Hongwei pulled a rather larger helicopter that was attached to his penis for 33 feet. Ye originally only wanted to pull the helicopter for 26 feet but I guess he found some extra strength down there. Why you ask? Why not, I say to that.

Ye is a new world record holder for pulling such a large object with his genitalia. Apparently he was “given his world record certificate by officials representing the World Record Academy.”

Here’s what Ye had to say for himself after the successful stunt:

I don’t know why I struggled in the beginning. I felt a bit nervous and unsure.

Ye ended his statement by saying, “I will continue practicing so I can break new records in the future.”

Lesson learned: Never give up on your dreams.

Below, footage of Ye pulling seven cars with his penis and then the helicopter.

 
More after the jump…

 
I love this guy. He realized he looks a lot like Bruce Lee, who died in 1973, and decided to make the most of it. Power to him. As he says himself, “The only news that comes from Afghanistan is about war. . . . I am happy that my story is a positive one.” Yes. I hear you on that.

On Facebook he is listed as “Bruce Hazara.” The NY Daily News says his name is Abulfazl Abbas Shakoory, but The Japan Times says his name is Abbas Alizada. Based on my extensive understanding of the Arabic world, I say it’s the latter, also because the words ‘abas.alizada’ are part of his Facebook URL.

“I want to be a champion in my country and a Hollywood star,” says Alizada at Kabul’s Darul Aman Palace, which has seen better days. There he trains two times a week, whipping his nunchakus around and sporting a bowl haircut based on Lee’s. Of course, nobody knows if he’s any good or can act, but I’m rooting for him anyway.

Interestingly, he does not like the name Bruce Hazara, which his friends have dubbed him in recognition of his ethnic heritage. In a country that has been torn apart by tribal disagreements, he prefers to be considered “the Afghan Bruce Lee.”
 

 
See him in action, after the jump…

 
In another twist on the apparent death of 9/11 mastermind Osama Bin Laden, it turns out that US Special Forces were pretty much helpless to find the world’s most wanted terrorist.

It took one of Jamaica’s most heroic and physically capable dreads, Konfu Dread, to use his “so excellent” kung-fu powers—which he deems “amongst the greatest”—to take down the man who eluded so many leaders and armed forces. 
 

 
After the jump: all four ass-kicking episodes of the Konfu Dread saga so far!

 
The fact that Jamaicans are posting up hilarious little tributes to kung fu film online should come as no surprise. As in most countries, Jamaica always had its share of young men enthralled by martial arts cinema, which crested in terms of both prolificacy and popularity during the mid-’60s, soon after the rugged island nation became independent. Reggae producers like Lee Perry, Keith Hudson, Augustus Pablo, and Prince Jammy folded martial arts influence into their music, sometimes in the lyrics, and in other instances by simply titling their dubs “Exit The Dragon” or “Shaolin Temple.”

The global digi-video age now opens up possibilities for Jamaica to explode the kung-fu spoof genre. Below you’ll find the possible first bamboo shoots, starting with Prezzi909’s footage from November of some brilliantly awkward kung-fu kombat street theatre, replete with the sound of cackling and screaming onlookers. But wait til a pro gets a hold of the concept…
 

 
After the jump: watch the kung-fu kraze refined with actual scripting and wicked effects!

 
Mark Hartley—the man who brought you Not Quite Hollywood, the documentary on ‘70s and ‘80s Australian action, suspense and horror b-movies—is back to lay the same treatment on the Philippines. Machete Maidens Unleashed shows how that country became the shooting locale for tons of American-funded monster movies, jungle prison movies, blaxploitation and kung fu hybrids—along with better known shoots like Francis Ford Coppola’s Apocalypse Now, which apparently left the land strewn with sets that got repeatedly reused.

Adding to the genre-crazy atmosphere was Prime Minister Ferdinand Marcos’s harsh and corrupt Bagong Lipunan (“New Society”) program of martial law, during which he and his family ruled with the kind of impunity that eventually led to his downfall in the mid-‘80s.

Check the trailer—it’s quite wild—and look for this ‘un soon at yr local movie establishment.
 

 
Thanks to Mark Turner for the heads-up!