If you can get around the fact that it’s an insidious racist pseudoscience, phrenology is actually kind of a hoot. These illustrations from the 1902 book Vaught’s Practical Character Reader assure you that you can ascertain a person’s character and temperament from the shape of their head and facial features. Since physiognomy certainly has ethnic tendencies, the danger there is pretty outright (see the money-grubbing man with the big nose above?), but it’s the head-shape thing that really kills me. You’re going to try and discern a personality from a lumpy skull? Really? Like doesn’t a flat head just mean that someone was left on their back a lot in the crib? What if someone got dropped or hit in the head with a golf ball?

Nevertheless, Vaught was confident in his work.

From the preface:

The purpose of this book is to acquaint all with the elements of human nature and enable them to read these elements in all men, women and children in all countries. At least fifty thousand careful examinations have been made to prove the truthfulness of the nature and location of these elements. More than a million observations have been made to confirm the examinations. Therefore, it is given the world to be depended upon. Taken in its entirety it is absolutely reliable. Its facts can be completely demonstrated by all who will take the unprejudiced pains to do so. It is ready for use. It is practical. Use it.

A million observations, you say? Mr. Vaught, I’m beginning to question the scientific validity of your methodology!
 

 

 

 

 
More after the jump…