In one of the more disturbing yet hilarious feats of crafty design I’ve seen, Peter Jakubik has redefined the term “pony play” with these bondage-inspired rocking horses. You have the option of making your own by downloading a DIY template from Etsy ($22.09), or purchasing one of many completed and painted models($1699.37), each with their own names, unique accessories and backstories. Yes, whether you prefer lace and ruffles, elaborate rope-play or a vinyl facemask, there is a pony girl for you.

Take for example the lovely Gisele, above:

The flexible body of Gisele the Balerina [sic] is firmly tied by a rope maze forming an improvised body harness. She combines her delight in rope tying with a passion for scenic dance. You can transform a classic performance by your bizarre game to a “bondage” Swan Lake.

I’m actually a bit partial to the unfinished wood grain, below. It has a certain… rustic ambiguity.

See more below for an idea of the “variety” that’s offered. Obviously this is all well and good, but I think he’s really limiting himself by sticking to the female form—a pony boy would sell much better, in my opinion. Maybe the purchaser is attracted to men or perhaps they like the idea of sadomasochistic kitsch, but don’t want the antifeminist stigma that might be associated with such a surreal knick-knack?

I say get on it, Jakubik! You’ll have them chomping at the bit!
 

 

“Fille de joie Jacqueline has penchant for burlesque. Her panties, stockings, long gloves and a corset must miss ruffles in any event. At first glance she coquettishly invites you to sit in the saddle and be gently lulled.”
 

“Despite the donkey ears on the harness, Vanda is not as adamant as you would expect from the way she looks. In its wavy-trimmed negligee and eared harness she keeps standing in her place, obediently waiting for the regular evening ride.”
 

“Xenia illustrates real girl next door without any sexual inhibitions. She hides her innocent little face under the hood joining her hair into a thick tail. Cuffs on hands and feet bond up her momentary daftness. It’s just up to you to unleash, and turn a canter to a rodeo.”
 

“Helga gives a clear indication that her haggard appearance of a little beast is really not for a romantic nature. Her semi-transparent lingerie and latex stockings are held in place by a similarly toned garter belt and tightly tied by a body harness. She will definitely stand out from your collection of toys.”