It all started about a year and a half ago, a person or persons stabbing trees with meat-wrapped knives in Leavenworth Park. The park is located in Omaha, Nebraska and residents of the area are totally freaked out as to why this keeps happening.

“It is very strange,” said John Costanzo with the Leavenworth Neighborhood Association. “Probably for about the last year, year and a half, neighbors have been finding steaks or other various pieces of meat pinned to the tree with knives.” 

Via KETV:

Costanzo said neighbors have called in dozens of these incidents. Police reports have been filed and the crime lab has visited the scene. But the mystery of the meat-wrapped knives continues.

 
Apparently, people in the area not only find it fucking weird, but worrisome as well. Police have confirmed the meat is not human (whew!).

If you know anything about this mysterious “knife stabbing meat tree person,” you’re encouraged to call the police.

 
via Arbroath

 
Imagine a man who gets up every morning and goes out to his local park or leafy sidewalk and humps his favorite tree. Well, if this video is to be believed here is that man.

According to the uploader on Live Leak who filmed this tree hugger, the man claims having coition with a tree “gives him pleasure.”

He does that every morning when he wakes up from bed. He also says that a tree doesn’t reject anything, he has full control over it. Just he says that if it was possible he’d take it back home lol.

“Lol” our culture’s answer to everything. Well that or “YOLO” which would also fit here, one would suppose…

The man may be mentally ill, lonely, or just a garden variety dendrophile, but he certainly seems unperturbed by the possibility of splinters, a dose of woodlice, or even total strangers filming his tree-loving activities.
 

 
H/T Daily Star