Ah, this is delightful. Andy Kaufman’s Midnight Special an episode of Burt Sugarman’s Midnight Special, hosted by Wolfman Jack, which aired on January 23, 1981. If you ever wondered what the hell Kaufman was about, well, he tries to answer this here, as he discusses what is serious, what is comic, what is real and what is not. There are also performances from most of his best known characters, “The Foreign Guy,” Tony Clifton, “Ladies Wrestling,” the ventriloquist act, and of course, Elvis.
It’s brilliant, funny and (at its time) ground-breaking. Has anyone has come close since? No. Kaufman was a one-off, and this program highlights why he was so good. Enjoy.
This is the funniest rapture gag since the Rapture Hatch. I think everyone should do this, and if possible set up cameras to record reactions. From Fuckyeahdementia!
There is no schadenfreude quite like Republican schadenfreude, as I am fond of saying. Watching Newt Gingrich—who Bill Maher delightfully called a “professor of idiocy” the other day—spontaneously combust in the full glare of the media spotlight, has been especially satisfying. His misfortune is my comedy!
That a man this universally disliked—even Republicans can’t stand the sight of his smug face—was ever taken seriously as a presidential candidate is a depressing testament to how low the mainstream media has sunk. Has anyone ever met a Newt Gingrich supporter? Have you? I sure haven’t. Not saying that none exist, but I should think a chupacabras—or even a Rick Santorum supporter—might be easier to locate. Just saying.
Nope, even Republicans aren’t fooled by Newt. He’s an especially loathsome, repellent dickhead in a party comprised nearly 100% of loathsome, repellent dickheads. There’s simply no way to sugarcoat an out-and-outasshole like Newt Gingrich. As is the case with Sarah Palin, the guy has simply overstayed his welcome. Like Mama Grizzly, he’s obviously got nowhere to go but… away.
Hopefully far, far away. Like Abbottabad.
Having said that, when Newt goes back to being an Amazon reviewer and giving phony “awards” to people dumb enough to pay him a “donation” for this “honor,” in some perverse sense, I’m going to miss that slimy amphibian. I just love watching him squirm. There’s blood in the water after only a week spent officially on the campaign trail and already there’s very little that Gingrich can do to turn that around. Watching the sharks feast on his pudgy ass is fantastic.
In his latest effort to deflect attention away from his statements about the GOP’s plan to dismantle Medicare under the so-called “Ryan Plan”—seen as incendiary, if not traitorous by Republican stalwarts—Gingrich puked up some absolutely stunning jabberwocky on Greta Van Sustern’s Fox News show:
The masturbating gunman makes his appearance in the Masked Avenger Versus Ultra-Villain in the Lair of the Naked Bikini.
A gunman gets on the trail of kidnapped women he gets hired to locate by sniffing the crotches of their soiled underwear. The plot involves the gunman’s search for a nun, his sister. In one bravura sequence, the trapped gunman, inspired by his sister’s panties, kills his enemies by firing large loads of his own acidic semen at them. Similar structurally to ‘Rapeman’ in that the gunman and his hunchbacked servant operate out of a legitimate office and offer their ‘find-a-girl’ services as if they were offering carpet cleaning.”
VHS copies of Masked Avenger Versus Ultra-Villain in the Lair of the Naked Bikini are going for $175.00 plus on Amazon. Here’s about two bucks worth:
This weekend, as some await the Rapture, fans of mutant movies in Los Angeles are looking forward to another Everything Is Terrible! presentation at Cinefamily with a special VHS screening of Samurai Cop:
Even in an era when action sludge was more common than shoulder pads or skinny ties, 1989’s Samurai Cop stood out as a true anomaly. Perhaps living legend Joe Bob Briggs summed it up best: a “recently unearthed, soon-to-be-classic kung-fu action-comedy skin flick with gratuitous gore elements.” That’s a good start, and yet there’s so much more! Ex-Stallone bodyguard Matt Hannon stars as Joe Marshall, a rock of a man who will do literally whatever it takes to punish the guilty—even if that means taking dozens of innocent lives in the process!
Teamed up with truly hilarious black sidekick Frank (his race and genitals are mentioned waaaay more than once), Joe embarks on an adventure so psychedelically violent and sex-tastic, there’s a chance Hunter S. Thomson will return from his “space ashes” just to drool along with us. Oh, and fear not, Robert Z’Dar fans, you’ll see plenty of the chin that made the Z famous, in rare bearded form. What’s that, you say? One cop ain’t enough to flog ‘yer fists? Fine, we’ll also add demented Samurai Cop auteur Amir Shervan’s Hollywood Cop into the mix—if you can handle it!
The Jacket Lunch Box is a Japanese blog dedicated to turning album covers into bento boxes. He’s done so many of them. This enterprise looks time-consuming. All hail our arts and crafts otaku overlord!
Isn’t this thoughtful? Those demented bawbags who are waiting for the Rapture this weekend have prepared a letter to help explain where they and “millions and millions” of the faithful have disappeared to.
Dear Friend,
This message has been sent to you by a friend or a relative who has recently disappeared along with millions and millions of people around the world.
The reason they chose to send you this letter is because they cared about you and would like you to know the truth about where they went.
This may come as a shock to you, but the one who sent you this has been taken up to heaven.
If you read a Bible, you will see that after chapter three in the book of Revelation, the church is no longer mentioned as being on earth. (The church are the believers in Jesus Christ, not the buildings in which people meet.)
In the Bible, 1 Thessalonians Chapter 4 verses 16 and 17 tell how Jesus came to take away His church. But, you have to believe the Bible is the Word of God in order to believe this.
I am sure that there will be a lot of speculation as to what happened to all these people. The theories of some scientists and world leaders will have so much credibility that most of the world will believe them.
It will sound like the truth!
But, there is only one truth. And, that truth is that Jesus Christ, God in the flesh, came back to earth and took with Him to Heaven all who believed in Him and made Him their Lord.
If you would like to give your life to Jesus Christ and be born again, it is not too late. First you must pray to God saying"Father I admit I am a sinner, and I will turn from my sin and do good. I believe that Jesus was your son and that He came here to die for me so that my sins would be
forgiven. I ask you to forgive me and I will repent of my sins. In Jesus name I pray.”
If you just prayed that prayer and meant it with all your heart, then God will know you as one of His own. You should now seek out others who have also given their lives to Christ, read a Bible daily, and do your best to bring others to Christ.
God bless you.
I don’t know how any of these people will be able to show their face next week.
This is, of course, appalling but entirely predictable: Conservative Christian hate group “Save California” is starting to make waves with an online advertisement titled “Protect Your Children from Harvey Milk Day in California.”
Somewhere in Des Moines or San Antonio there is a young gay person who all the sudden realizes that he or she is gay; knows that if their parents find out they will be tossed out of the house, their classmates will taunt the child, and the Anita Bryant’s and John Briggs’ are doing their part on TV. And that child has several options: staying in the closet, and suicide. And then one day that child might open the paper that says “Homosexual elected in San Francisco” and there are two new options: the option is to go to California, or stay in San Antonio and fight. Two days after I was elected I got a phone call and the voice was quite young. It was from Altoona, Pennsylvania. And the person said “Thanks”. And you’ve got to elect gay people, so that thousand upon thousands like that child know that there is hope for a better world; there is hope for a better tomorrow. Without hope, not only gays, but those who are blacks, the Asians, the disabled, the seniors, the us’s: without hope the us’s give up. I know that you can’t live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living. And you, and you, and you, and you have got to give them hope.
All over the country, they’re reading about me, and the story doesn’t center on me being gay. It’s just about a gay person who is doing his job.
We must destroy the myths once and for all. We must continue to speak out and most importantly every gay person must come out. As difficult as it is, you must tell your family, you must tell your relatives, you must tell your friends, you must tell your neighbors, you must tell the people you work with, you must tell the people in the stores you shop in, and once they realize that we are indeed their children and that we are indeed everywhere, every myth, every lie, every innuendo will be destroyed once and for all. And once you do you will feel so much better.
Why does it bug these people so much to see this man honored? Not only that, Harvey Milk Day, each May 22, falls on the weekend this year. So much for protecting the kids!
I’m always of two minds when it comes to embedding idiotic videos like this, although I do tend to side with the “point and laugh” approach every time! I doubt that many—if any—DM readers would be swayed by what they see in this clip. The thing is, “Save California” can see where their traffic is coming from, so they will see a link to this post in their YouTube user stats and they’ll read it and see themselves as the object of scorn and ridicule. I encourage everyone to let them have it in the comments, because rest assured they will read it. If you want to flag their YouTube clip as “hate speech” you can do it here, where it says “Flag” just above the title.
Harvey Milk is a man who will never be forgotten. No matter what these ultimately impotent hate groups like “Save California” think or what they may say or do, nothing is ever going to change that. It’s called American History and it’s not on their side.
I’d be remiss in my duties as a liberal scold if I didn’t ask the members of “Save California” how they will feel in the future when their own children and grandchildren—who they tried so, uh, valiantly to “protect” from the legacy of a heroic man like Harvey Milk—come to realize what monstrous, hateful, small-minded assholes their parents really are?
The trailer for Rob Epstein’s Academy Award-winning documentary The Times of Harvey Milk. You can watch the entire film on YouTube here.
If you can’t wait for the Post-Rapture Party, then why not attend the Pre-Rapture Orgy? Organized by Ammon Kamutef Allred, Karen McCarthy, Matt Riddle, and Felonius Screwtape, who together have started a group page on Facebook inviting all to attend the orgy tomorrow night:
After the Rapture, America is going to be awesome! Universal health-care, gay marriage, easy access to birth control, a progressive tax code and strong environmental regulations.
You don’t want to miss all the fun! Come to our pre-Rapture orgy to make sure that you’ll be here come May 22, 2011.
The Pre-Rapture Orgy takes place Friday 00:00 - Saturday at 00:00, on the “Streets of America, Baby” and no doubt everywhere else, check here for details.
