Miki sez “Don’t drink the blood!” But then again, she would say that…
Slightly late notice, but there’s still time to make it, British author-comedian, co-creator and co-star of the brilliant Look Around You (and now a visiting South Park writer) Robert Popper will be playing and discussing some of his favorite prank phone calls. I’m assuming he’ll be giving special attention to the classic “enraged Gordon Brown throws a tangerine” call, but I hope he’ll also play the tape of the time he pretended to be Baroness Margaret Thatcher calling the House of Lords to find her missing apples. It’s my favorite. I laughed until I cried when I first heard this. From the man himself:
If you’re in Los Angeles tonight, I’m going to be playing a few of my phone calls at the Cinefamily Cinema, 611 N Fairfax Ave, West Hollywood, at 10:30pm. It’s an event open to members, but if you’re not a member, just turn up and use the password – which is/are ‘Lithium based batteries’. And it’s free.
Remember the secret words kids!
It seems that someone’s had a lil’ change of heart where it comes to social media. Known for his radio and television speeches which can go on and on and on and on, Venezuelan el Presidente Hugo Chavez will be forced to learn a little brevity when he starts Twittering. Can Twitter’s 140 character limit accommodate the loquacious leader?
From the Telegraph:
In January Mr Chavez said that using Twitter, the internet and text messaging to criticism his regime was “terrorism.”
He has now decided to use the social networking tool for his own purposes.
“Comandante Chavez is going to open his Twitter account soon to wage the battle online,” Diosdado Cabello, director of Venezuela’s state-run telecommunications agency, said on Venezuelan television, according to Bloomberg News.
“I’m sure he’ll break records for numbers of followers.”
And he’ll probably prove to be much more interesting than Ashton Kutcher or John Mayer!
Off-kilter music video from wonderfully talented Britcom actress-writer Alice Lowe—here playing electro artist Kitty Litta—who’s great in everything she’s ever been in: Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace, The Mighty Boosh, Sharon Horgan’s Angelo’s series, Snuff Box (she played David Bowie), Black Books, The IT Crowd amongst many, many other things. Someone at BBC give this women her own show already!
Apparently somewhere between thirty seconds to a minute after the opening weekend numbers for Avatar came in, the entirety of Western civilization decided to go 3D, and wholesale convert our malls and living rooms into one gigantic Disneyland of the Damned, like a Michael Bay Transformer changing state from “obnoxious and expensive” into “obnoxious, expensive, and three centimeters from your face.” Not only has Hollywood made 3D nigh-on mandatory for its big releases (presumably to combat file sharing), but 3D televisions are slated to begin rolling out this summer, despite health concerns (apparently they can cause vertigo, seizures and a host of other shocks to our woefully non-3D-adjusted systems). Perhaps it’s Michael Jackson’s revenge from beyond the grave, for barely noticing when he pioneered the technology with Captain EO back in the dark ages of 1986, or 24 BA (Before Avatar) in Hollywood years.
And now, the Internet. Intel Labs’ Sean Koehl recently predicted that the Internet will “go three-dimensional” within five to ten years—the company is currently hard at work developing the technology, touting its potential use for teleconferencing, among other business applications.
But… but. You know as well as I do that that’s not what it’s actually going to be used for.
If Koehl’s timeline bears out, somewhere between 2015 and 2020—right as Web 3.0, the Semantic Web and Augmented Reality are coming to maturity—we can expect:
Porn. I imagine the nearly-bankrupt porn industry will be all over this so quickly that they’ll just about be able to create an entire virtual reality pocket porniverse which the Global Otaku Diaspora will likely declare permanent residence in and which the rest of the world’s population will likely spend a good chunk of their waking hours in. Expect bedroom and office doors locked.
A constant, endless assault of cats. You will be like a cat lady for all the cats in the whole world, who will be all up in your face, all the time. Guess what’s in your inbox this morning? It’s another 3D video of somebody’s cat. And now it’s in your lap.
A running, inescapable feed of status updates from your friends—imagine the hovering, 3D heads of your online acquaintances popping up when you least expect them to constantly update you as to what they’re having for dinner, how much they hated Robert Pattinson’s directorial debut, or sending you a link to a 3D video of their cat being confused by their 3D computer. The thought of constantly being bothered by twelve-second video clips of the holographic heads of everybody I’ve ever exchanged two words with or been cc’d on an e-mail from, all of whose comments are bound to be equally aggravating and pointless, is enough to prompt a pre-emptive desert homestead. Are we all doomed to become like Jimmy Stewart in a doozie, with all those heads swimming around ours, all the time? Combined with augmented reality, three-dimensional Internet is going to be f___cking unavoidable. And so will everybody you know.
And good god… do we really want a three-dimensional version of Chatroulette? Do we really want to be able to see all of us, all the time, in shuddering, sickening three dimensions? Are we ready for the Slob Singularity, when everybody on the Internet can have the experience of staring directly at everybody else on the Internet; when all of our Doritos-greased faces see each other as one Being; when we all become One All-Slouching, All-Trolling, All-Wanking Consciousness?
I hope we are. Because that’s what’s coming. In glorious 3D.
(Watch Captain EO, It Is the Future: The Horrible, SAN-Depleting Future)
As a fan of Shakespeare, David Tennant and Patrick Stewart, I’ll definitely be recording this one. And while I doubt this RSC production will end on a note as unconventional as the actual shooting of Horatio, I don’t think a TARDIS is gonna come along to soften it much, either.
Shakespeare’s immortal “To be, or not to be” takes on a whole new meaning (and medium) as classical stage and screen actors David Tennant and (recently-knighted) Sir Patrick Stewart reprise their roles for a modern-dress, film-for-television adaptation of the Royal Shakespeare Company’s (RSC) 2008 stage production of Hamlet.
The production will be presented on PBS by the Great Performances series on Wednesday, April 28, 2010, at 8 p.m. EST (check local listings). Immediately following the broadcast, the film will be available online in its entirety here on the Great Performances Web site.
Best known for his performance in the title role of the popular British TV series Doctor Who since 2005, Tennant made his debut in October as the host of MASTERPIECE CONTEMPORARY on PBS. His many other credits include his recent portrayal of Barty Crouch Junior in the big-screen blockbuster Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
C’mon, people, this happened to me all the time in 8th grade, and not once did I ever press charges:
A Florida man is facing misdemeanor battery charges for holding closed one nostril and blowing bloody mucus on his girlfriend after a fight. The 44-year-old Crestview man had been in an altercation before blowing the contents of his nose on his girlfriend, the Crestview Bulletin reports.
Details of the fight in which the man received the bloody nose were not released. The woman was splattered with snot containing the blood and other bodily fluids on her face, chest, arms and pants, but showed no signs of any injury that could have caused the blood to be hers.
Is it that hard to sustain a relationship these days without having to splatter your mate with nose blood? Hey, unnamed Crestview couple, take a cue from Sarah and Colin Kavanagh!
