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Anton LaVey tree ornaments will help you have the most Satanic Christmas ever!


Ceramic Anton LaVey Christmas ornament. Get it here.
 
Here we have another example of something you never knew you needed that actually already exists—ceramic ornaments featuring the very serious mug of a certain Anton Szandor LaVey. Though I shouldn’t have to explain who LaVey was, he created The Church of Satan back in 1966. He was also the church’s first High Priest. During his lifetime LaVey was many things and now, nearly twenty years after his death he’s been immortalized as a Christmas tree ornament.

There are several different versions of LaVey ornaments including ones shaped like a heart, a star and even a few featuring quotes attributed to LaVey that will not get you in the Christmas spirit. Which is probably okay with a lot of you out there these days. While I’m pretty sure that LaVey wouldn’t be thrilled about this development I won’t lie, I love the portrait ornaments. A lot. Prices range from $10 to about $24 bucks each and you can even customize them color wise or add text. Like “Hail Satan” or something cheerful like that. I’ve included links below the images in this post where you can pick up your own Anton LaVey ornament which if you act fast should arrive just in time for the holidays.Yay!
 

Star-shaped Anton LaVey ornament. Get it here.
 
More after the jump…

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
CBGB’s awning being auctioned by Sotheby’s is expected to fetch at least $25,000
12.01.2016
09:23 am

Topics:
History
Music
Punk
Stupid or Evil?

Tags:
CBGB
Sotheby's


 
Man, who knew rock ‘n’ roll was so posh? Earlier this week, we alerted you to the sale of Dennis Hopper’s extremely modest record collection for only about 1500 times its probable value. This is unrelated, but it feels like a part of the same stupidity: an awning from CBGB, the Bowery dive bar that in the ‘70s became the Ur venue for the musical insurgency that would come to be known as punk rock, is being auctioned by the elite house Sotheby’s, and is estimated to fetch between $25,000 and $35,000.

The club was never really home base for people who could afford that kind of cash outlay for an outsized souvenir—the bands that played there were decidedly low-rent. The bands that made the place a Mecca included the Ramones, Patti Smith, Television, Blonde, Talking Heads, the Cramps, and the Dead Boys (who recorded their live album Night of the Living Dead Boys there), well before they became marquee names. After a long and legendary run, the club closed ten years ago, and was “resurrected” in name only as we shit you not a restaurant in the Newark Airport (one and a half stars on Yelp). That restaurant has a small-scale replica of the club’s iconic awning. One of the several actual awnings that adorned the club’s doorway over the years lives on display at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but while the Sotheby’s web site claims that the awning for sale is the original, Time Out New York says that’s incorrect:

Though the venerable auction house is listing the item as the “original awning for punk mecca CBGB,” that’s not actually the case. It’s a version rescued from the trash in 2004 by former club manager Drew Bushong. Bushong’s find was one several iterations of the iconic sign, beginning with the first one hand-painted by CBGB owner Hilly Kristal. That awning is believed to have been stolen one night in the 1980s by the band Jody Foster’s Army (JFA), after the group played a gig. It’s whereabouts remain unknown.

Yeah, that’s fucking hilarious. I didn’t realize I could love JFA more!

The auction is scheduled for Saturday, December 10th. I’m sincerely hoping some CBGB O.G. gets it, but it will probably get sold to a fuckin’ pharma bro.

More after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
King Turd: This absurdist play from 1896 could have been written about President Trump!


Poster design for a re-interpreted version of Alfred Jarry’s ‘Ubu Roi’ from 2013 in which the tale of Donald Trump’s golf course development in Scotland follows the storyline of the play
 
French absurdist playwright Alfred Jarry’s Ubu Roi (“Ubu the King” or “King Turd”), a pre-Surrealist work, is considered an influential classic of French theatre. It originally premiered in 1896. There were three Ubu plays written by Jarry, but only one, Ubu Roi, was ever performed during his short lifetime (Jarry died at the age of 34 of tuberculosis. After he beckoned a friend to come closer, his whispered last word on his deathbed was allegedly “toothpick” or whatever it is that the French call them).

The Ubu trilogy was conceived to employ actors and marionettes in a vicious satire of greed, royalty, religion, stupidity and abuse of power by the wealthy. The two other plays were Ubu Cocu (“Ubu Cuckolded”) and Ubu Enchaîné (“Ubu in Chains”).

The protagonist “Père Ubu” (yes, this is obviously where the band’s name came from) was originally based on the teenage lampooning of a stuffy teacher written by two friends of Jarry’s from school, but Jarry expanded the plays and used the character as a vehicle for his howling critique of bourgeois society’s evils.

People absolutely hated the scandalous Ubu Roi—it was considered lewd, crude, vulgar and low—and its controversial author. At the premiere in Paris, it was booed for a good fifteen minutes after the first word, “Merdre!” (his coining for “shit,” deliberately close to the French merde and translated in English as “Pshit” or “Shittr!”), was spoken. Fist fights broke out in the orchestra pit. Jarry’s supporters yelled “You wouldn’t understand Shakespeare, either!” His detractors rejoined with their variations on the theme of “shit.”

William Butler Yeats was apparently in the audience that night in 1896 and is alleged to have said “What more is possible? After us, the Savage God.”

I can think of something… or rather *someone*...

The play was accused of being politically subversive, the work of an anarchist mindfucker or even that it was a “hoax” designed to hoodwink a gullible middle-class audience with metaphorical shit that some of them, at least, would say tasted good.

Again, this seems so freaking familiar, doesn’t it?

Not that an absurdist agitator like Alfred Jarry cared about any of this. Characters had names like “MacNure,” “Pissweet” and “Pissale.” Confrontationally pissing off the audience was practically the entire point for him. Ubu’s scepter, after all, was a shit-smeared toilet brush.
 

A ship of fools in a sea of shit…

Via Wikipedia:

According to Jane Taylor, “The central character is notorious for his infantile engagement with his world. Ubu inhabits a domain of greedy self-gratification.” Jarry’s metaphor for the modern man, he is an antihero—fat, ugly, vulgar, gluttonous, grandiose, dishonest, stupid, jejune, voracious, cruel, cowardly and evil—who grew out of schoolboy legends about the imaginary life of a hated teacher who had been at one point a slave on a Turkish Galley, at another frozen in ice in Norway and at one more the King of Poland. Ubu Roi follows and explores his political, martial and felonious exploits, offering parodic adaptations of situations and plot-lines from Shakespearean drama, including Macbeth, Hamlet and Richard III: like Macbeth, Ubu—on the urging of his wife—murders the king who helped him and usurps his throne, and is in turn defeated and killed by his son; Jarry also adapts the ghost of the dead king and Fortinbras’s revolt from Hamlet, Buckingham’s refusal of reward for assisting a usurpation from Richard III and The Winter’s Tale‘s bear.

“There is,” wrote Taylor, “a particular kind of pleasure for an audience watching these infantile attacks. Part of the satisfaction arises from the fact that in the burlesque mode which Jarry invents, there is no place for consequence. While Ubu may be relentless in his political aspirations, and brutal in his personal relations, he apparently has no measurable effect upon those who inhabit the farcical world which he creates around himself. He thus acts out our most childish rages and desires, in which we seek to gratify ourselves at all cost.” The derived adjective “ubuesque” is recurrent in French and francophone political debate.

Sound like anyone you watched in a debate last night who made a total ass of himself in front of one of the largest television audiences in history?

All that was missing was the fucking shit-smeared toilet brush if you ask me….
 
More absurdity after the jump…

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Jack and cobra anyone? Whiskey & vodka infused with tarantulas, giant centipedes, snakes & toads


Vodka infused with a giant venomous tropical centipede by ‘Thailand Unique.’
 
I cannot tell a lie—I had a hard time blogging about these insect and amphibian-infused bottles of booze made by Thailand Unique as just looking at them made my lunch churn rather restlessly in my stomach. Never mind the thought of actually imbibing a bottle of vodka that had been infused with a giant venomous tropical centipede. Yikes.

These bug and arachnid-enhanced speciality alcohols are the products of Thailand Unique (based in Udon Thani, Thailand) a company that caters to the the world’s “growing numbers of “entomophagists” otherwise known as humans who enjoy consuming insects. They carry a large variety of infused vodka and whiskey that has been enhanced with everything from bugs to cobras and even toads. Some of these creatures, it is claimed, have healing and medicinal properties. The centipede whiskey is used in parts of Southeast Asia as an aphrodisiac and according to Thailand Unique could also help ease muscular and back pain. (Do not mistake this post for medical advice, okay?)

If you’re not a drinker (or just gave up drinking after reading all this, like I almost did—close call) Thailand Unique also offers various foodstuffs made from a variety of creepy-crawlers such as edible canned tarantula, earthworm jerky, pasta made from silkworms (it’s also gluten free!) and the “acquired taste” of these “seasoned to taste,” “roasted and dehydrated “dung beetles” which are harvested in northeast Thailand during the monsoon season. If you’re not an aspiring etymologist, the dung beetle feeds on “nutrient rich” Water Buffalo poop. Gaaa!

If you’re interested in obtaining any of Thailand Unique’s products—they sure live up to their name, don’t they?—it will take anywhere from two-weeks to two months depending on the shipping option you choose. Many of the infused vodkas and whiskeys are currently sold out, mostly due to the fact that many of the things made by the company take several months to prepare for market. Their “Armor Tail Scorpion” vodka (which was triple distilled and steeped for months allowing the scorpion to infuse the liquid with a “unique woody taste”) is in stock and can be yours for about $17.46 via registered airmail to the U.S.
 

Tarantula infused vodka.
 

Longhorn beetle-infused vodka.
 
More yucky things after the jump…

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
From the barroom to your bedroom: Decadent vodka, bourbon, absinthe & hash scented candles
08.30.2016
11:16 am

Topics:
Amusing
Stupid or Evil?

Tags:
candles
Jonathan Adler
booze


Absinthe-scented candle that only Oscar Wilde could love. Get yours here.
 
“Vices Canisters” by Jonathan Adler are high-end booze-scented candles. That’s right. If you ever wanted to give someone a gift that reminds them of their last hangover your prayers have finally been answered.
 

Ever wondered what Vodka ‘smells’ like? Get it here.
 
What I find most amusing about Adler’s pricey candles are the descriptions associated with the various vices that attempt to describe the experience you will enjoy with the help of the candle’s unique scent. Here’s the overstatement attached to the Absinthe-scented candle that tells you what the candle “feels” like:

Feels like—the Left Bank, unbridled hedonism, a conversation with Oscar Wilde.

Well if Adler’s $42 dollar candle can help conjure up the ability to have a witty conversation with Oscar Wilde then I’m sure this candle will be especially popular. And I don’t know but the last time I checked the vodka in my glass didn’t smell like much of anything (except maybe desperation), but according to the scent profile for Adler’s vodka candle it should smell like zest lime slices, pink grapefruit, tonic spritzer, crushed cilantro, gin accord, bamboo water, fresh musk, and sheer woods. I don’t know what bar that drink is served up in but aside from the “fresh musk” I’m in. If you’re not so much a boozehound as you are a connoisseur of herbal delights, Adler has you covered. His hashish scented candle (that combines black currant, green apple, wormwood, patchouli, and moss) will double as a posh stash box adorned with pot leafs once it’s all used up. If you’re already shouting “shut-up and take my money” I’ve included links below each of the candles images where you can get them. Like I said they aren’t cheap and each one will run you from $37 to $68 bucks a shot.
 

Bourbon-scented candle. Get it here.
 
More after the jump…

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
Goes great with ACID: Behold the completely f*cked up giant wearable cat head


The creepy as fuck ‘Real Cat Head’ band.
 
If you hang out on the Internet long enough you’ll see some stuff that you can never unsee. Such is the case with Housetu Sato’s frighteningly realistic looking and wearable “Real Cat Heads.” Made out of felt, Sato’s freakishly large cat heads became so famous after making their debut on Sato’s Facebook page that they were displayed at the Tokyo Metropolitan Art museum.
 

 
Since then Sato (a professor at the Japanese School of Wool Art) has apparently received loads of requests from folks wanting to buy his Real Cat Heads and due to that response he obliged and the bizarro feline head gear can now be purchased by those willing to shell out nearly ¥600,000 yen (roughly $5706.14 USD) and they only go up in price from there depending on the design. Each cat head is made to order, stands approximately five feet high (and wide) and the entire process takes about three months to complete. Though it’s noted on Dwango (the site that is selling the heads) that the “Real Cat Heads” are only available to buyers in Japan, apparently if you ask Sato nicely over on his blog he might make an exception for an interested buyer not located in the Land of the Rising Sun.

Images of folks who appear to have purchased their own giant cat heads as well as examples of Sato’s incredibly realistic handiwork follow. 
 

 

 
More of this insanity after the jump…

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
Comedian says THE MOST OBVIOUS THING ABOUT TRUMP that no one else has thought of!


 
Australian comedian Jim Jefferies went viral with his impassioned—and hilariously funny—rant about gun control “Guns Are Not Protection” from his 2014 Netflix standup special Bare. The clip’s been viewed millions of times and sadly racks up millions more with every new gun massacre in America.

Well, Jefferies is about to go viral again with this nailed-it-to-the-fucking-wall breakdown of how Donald Trump plans to fight terrorism by profiling Muslims.

The whole thing is fantastic, and you’ll want to watch it all, but the part that I’m talking about specifically starts at the 4:30 mark. After listening to what he says here, how in the world could anyone with even a spoonful of brains think Donald Trump could possibly keep Americans safe from terrorism? Jefferies demolishes that argument. Pulverizes it. Stomps on it. It’s finished. It’s done.

No one who hears this can possibly unhear what he’s saying here. I don’t care how pro-Trump—or stupid—they might be.

No wonder all the ISIL related websites evince such a decidedly pro-Trump slant! Trump’s doing Allah’s work for him, if you know what I mean (and you surely will after watching Jim Jefferies lay it out so cold here!) Jim Jefferies’ newest streaming Netflix standup special Freedumb is now available.

PASS IT ON.
 

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Dumbest rock auction of the century? A jar of AIR from a Stone Roses gig is fetching $97K…so far
06.23.2016
09:44 am

Topics:
Music
Stupid or Evil?

Tags:
Stone Roses


 
Gen Xers—particularly those hailing from the UK, but some advanced Yanks, as well—may remember a fleetingly brief time just before the turn of the 1990s when the Stone Roses seemed to a great many otherwise sane people like the only important band whatsoever (Jane’s Addiction and Sonic Youth probably begged to differ). Even some of their Manchester contemporaries were on board with that assessment: still in my teens in 1989, I scored a face-to-face interview with Shaun Ryder of Happy Mondays, who was tripping so many balls that no matter what question I asked him, most of his answers were variations on “FOOKIN’ STONE ROSES ARE THE FOOKIN’ BEST, I FOOKIN’ LOVE THEM.” But no band—NONE—can live up to messianic expectations from an overly exuberant press and fan base, and when legal battles with the label that released their debut album left them unable to release anything, their momentum was consumed and that was that. Their years-overdue sophomore LP was generally considered a disappointment despite its wishfully grandiose title, and plus their whole “baggy” trip was kind of irrelevant by then anyway, long since eclipsed by shoegaze, grunge, and Britpop. When their reunited band was announced as the headline act for 2013’s Coachella festival, under-30s flocked to Twitter to ask um, excuse me, who?

But despite that kind of embarrassing start and the poor reception to their upbeat but insipid 2016 comeback single “All for One” (the subsequent “Beautiful Thing” is a little better), their concert dates have been greeted with enthusiasm, and really, nothing changes the fact that their self-titled LP is one of the most singularly brilliant debuts in rock history. Clearly some of their devotees remain as fanatical as the ecstasy-addled ‘80s kids that made the band short-duration gods.

Which is the only possible explanation for how a fucking jar of air from their show at Manchester’s Etihad Stadium last weekend has been bid up to £65,900.00 (almost $97K USD).
 

We’ll give the seller this: the lemon on the lid? Nice touch.
 

A helpful demonstration of the air’s capture

Which utterly boggles the mind in itself, but when considered against the fact that there are other bottles of air from the same show on eBay, one for only £0.99, it becomes damn near impossible to parse just how this could have happened. And also I’m sorry but there’s just absolutely no way a shipping cost of £12.45 (more than $18 USD) is justified for just one little bottle. The way some of these eBay sellers gouge you, I swear to God…
 

 

 

Yep, I searched eBay for “stone roses jar of air.” What’s the dumbest thing YOU ever did at work?

If you’ve got money to burn and are drool-cup stupid, bidding on the various bottles ends within a range from three to six days.

More after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
If you like ‘Heavy Metal Parking Lot’ now there’s ‘Trump Parking Lot’ (no heshers, lots of racists)


 
Michael Galinsky has documented many moments of political tension, from Klan rallies to Occupy Wall Street. Tagging along with a friend who worked for Reuters, Galinsky showed up at the Donald Trump rally in Greensboro, NC on Tuesday. He applied for press credentials as they were driving to the venue, although his plans from the beginning were to shoot something more akin to Jeff Krulik and John Heyn’s “Heavy Metal Parking Lot,” the legendary underground film made in the parking lot of a 1986 Judas Priest concert.

But whereas “Heavy Metal Parking Lot” is bust-a-gut hilarious stuff, Galinsky’s quietly observational footage of the Trump rally will probably just make you sad. He writes:

I had applied too late which was fine, but I still tried to talk my way in because there wasn’t much happening outside. When that didn’t work I sat down in the shade to figure out a plan of action. After about a minute of watching people trickle towards the venue, I heard a man yelling, “White Power!” I grabbed my camera and approached. He was wearing a big cowboy hat and a Willie Nelson shirt with Willie giving us “the finger.” Still, I wasn’t sure if he was being ironic until a minute later when the cops approached. They explained that we as citizens do have “free speech,” but that his incendiary language was dangerous and therefore prohibited. It was kind of a surreal conversation (see the video), and as I listened, it dawned on me that I wasn’t going to be allowed there much longer either. I was right. After they gave him and his friend the heave-ho, I was told I had five minutes to leave. I tried once again to get in with credentials, then I headed for the parking lot.

I often enter these situations with a vague idea of what I plan to shoot but try to remain open to what comes. I ran into a guy selling shirts and talked to him for a bit. They were vulgar, anti-Hilary shirts and people heading into the event loved them. I started to think about the people who sold things at the event and followed this up with another guy selling shirts. A few moments later, I saw a group of people who were representing the Militia Movement. I talked to them for a bit, and then a roving protest showed up. It was a loud mass surrounded by police. Having spent time with the militia guys, I observed the protest from their perspective for a while.

This event was taking place just days after the horrific events in Orlando, and this was largely an LGBTQ-led protest. After having filmed at dozens of protests, I get a little spooked around cops. These guys were generally working with kid gloves, but I still felt a bit unsure about going to shoot with the protesters as they were surrounded by masses of cops. I’m a “non-credentialed” journalist, and as such, I’m more at risk in these situations, so I try to be very cautious. The protesters set up shop across the street, and I made my way across the street to shoot a couple of people being interviewed by a local news channel. I like to shoot media doing interviews because it gives a context to the situation and how that situation is being portrayed.

And now without future explanation, because of course, none is really necessary, witness the pathetic gene pool who support Biff Tannen sorry, er President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho whoops, I mean Donald Trump as they cavort and gather and hoot and holler in “Trump Parking Lot.”

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
The unhappiest places on earth: Nightmarish playground structures from around the world
06.16.2016
09:59 am

Topics:
Amusing
Stupid or Evil?

Tags:
Japan
Russia
China
playgrounds


A strange reverse “human centipede” style playground sculpture.
 
Many of the images in this nightmare-fueled post were taken in playgrounds around Russia, and they are about as bleak as a vodka shortage in Moscow in the middle of winter.
 

The “peeing rainbow kids” of Kiev, Ukraine.
 
Some of the other perplexing playground structures that you’ll see, such as a rock climbing “thing” that looks like a giant dick, and the reverse human centipede sculpture (pictured at the top of this post) were photographed in China, Tokyo and some European locations. Each of them has one thing in common: they appear to have been created by people who don’t like children at all. Of course there are plenty of demented looking clowns as well as depressed looking bears (because, Russia), and other odd animal-themed slides and such that are just too inexplicably odd for words. Unless those words consist of the triple-threat known as “WTF.”

If you need me, I’ll be under the bed.
 

Moscow.
 

Tokyo.
 

‘Goblin’ merry-go-round.

More images of strange playground structures that need to be put out of their misery, after the jump…

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
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