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The time Iron Maiden vocalist Bruce Dickinson asked a hooker for a refund after a botched handjob
07.13.2016
09:12 am

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Give Bruce what he wants!
 
This amusing footage of Iron Maiden vocalist Bruce Dickinson recalling the time he demanded a German prostitute refund his money for a handjob that apparently did not provide a “happy ending” was part of an interview conducted with him for the 2009 documentary Monty Python: Almost The Truth (Lawyer’s Cut).

In the video (posted below), Dickinson carefully dances around the occasion when the band was on tour stop in the early 80s in Hamburg, Germany during which one of the members of Maiden’s road crew suggested that they pay a visit to the Eros Center (that at one time was rumored to be the largest collection of brothels in Europe). The two ended up walking along the Reeperbahn in Hamburg’s Red Light District and quickly found themselves upstairs “negotiating” the price of a handjob with a couple of German hookers. As (according to Dickinson who was 24 at the time) this was his “first time” attempting to exchange currency for the procurement of sex, it turns out he wasn’t very good at it. During the deliberations regarding the twenty-minutes of good-times the headbangers were hoping to enjoy, Dickinson asked if the time slot could accommodate more than one “shag” (a British term for “intercourse” for those of you who have never seen an Austin Powers film) in the event that they were able to get their “willies working again.” I’ll leave the rest of the story to Bruce to relay as I don’t want to spoil the fantastic punchline.
 
Keep reading after the jump…

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
People face-swapping with their own tattoos = high-test nightmare fuel
07.13.2016
08:32 am

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The Face Swap filter on the Snapchat smartphone app does exactly what it says on the box—exchanges two faces within a photo, or with a face in another photo in your phone’s picture library, all within the app, no need for any image editing experience. For an automated photo filter for phones, it can actually do a decent enough job, and the results are invariably highly weirding. Even if you don’t use Snapchat you’ve surely seen the filter’s output on your Facebook feed. It’s mostly goofy fun for normals—Snapchat is, after all, a social media platform based entirely around selfies—but I’ve seen it done creatively and disturbingly with pets, toys, and amusingly, inanimate objects the app has mistaken for a face.

But the most messed up expression of the fad yet has to be people face-swapping with their own tattoos, and the more rudimentary, abstract, or just plain bad the tattoo, it seems, the crazier the result. The pics below were culled from features on tattoodo and inkedmag, where you’ll find more like this.
 

 

 
More after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
Diabolical dioramas depict murderous clowns, tiny cannibals and their unfortunate victims
07.12.2016
11:20 am

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‘Problem Solved.’ A ‘Dieorama’ by artist Abigail Goldman. Pictured with a dime to show scale.
 
In 2012 the violently awesome dioramas of Bellingham, Washington-based Abigail Goldman, the artist behind “My Wife Makes Dioramas” made the rounds on the Internets and a lot of people dug the dark concepts featuring little plastic people being chopped up into bits by clowns or dismembered by cannibals just in time for dinner. In other words, Miss Goldman is fantastic.
 

Cannibal pool party. Groovy!
 
If you somehow missed the first round of Goldman’s blood-splattered dioramas then you’re in luck as a couple of weeks ago several new dioramas were uploaded to the My Wife Makes Dioramas Imgur site and boy, it was worth the wait as there is all kinds of mayhemic bad shit going on including MORE AXE WIELDING CLOWNS! From what I understand you can actually purchase Goldman’s bloody dioramas by contacting her over at her amusingly titled website “DIEORAMA.”

If you’re planning on being in San Francisco in next month you can see some of Goldman’s works in person at the Hashimoto Contemporary August 4th - the 27th. Images of Goldman’s gruesome minuscule murder scenes follow (along with some of her past work that I had to include) and are somewhat NSFW. But you knew that when I said the words “murderous clowns,” didn’t you?
 

 

 
More murderous mayhem in miniature after the jump…

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
Donald Trump meets ‘Calvin and Hobbes’
07.12.2016
09:45 am

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I really didn’t want to like this. I’m 100% in line with the consensus that the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes is a transcendent and perfect work of art that will resonate for as long as there are imaginative children and adults who wish to reactivate that magic. Detourning, parodying, or otherwise fucking with it is done at one’s peril. So that being said, it’s pretty astonishing that this worked: An imgur user and obvious MST3K fan going by the name DrForester has shared a baker’s dozen Calvin and Hobbes strips wherein Calvin’s face is replaced with Donald Trump’s.

The effect is spot-on. Strips selected typically show Calvin at his most toxically self-centered, making them perfect fodder for the bottomlessly loudmouthed and narcissistic GOP presidential candidate, though the strips have a more sophisticated vocabulary than your typical Trump stump. I checked a few random selections from the detourned strips against the originals, and in the ones I was able to find readily for comparison, the original strips’ dialogue bubbles are entirely untouched. Compare the lead image at the top of this post to the original:
 

 
DrForester doesn’t seem to be the strips’ creator, but rather an aggregator—there’s a Reddit thread full of these that dates back to last winter, and the oldest I found—the one above—was uploaded by a user named eucalyptusfire. A lot of them are simply uncanny in their reflection of Trump’s ethos.
 

 

 
More after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
Artist creates analog printer to make a giant alphabet out of bird poop
07.11.2016
12:02 pm

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Animals
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I had zebra finches growing up, and while they were sweet little birds, they had two major drawbacks—the after-hours chirping, and all the pooping. The chirping you could remedy with a towel over the cage. Regardless of the hour, any light on and they were under the impression they had to greet the morning dawn, but darken the cage and they’d shut up. There was no remedy to the pooping however, so you simply accepted that when you took them out to play, sometimes you were going to get bird shit on you, a small price to pay to have them cheerfully hop up and down your arm.

Artist Fabrizio Lamoncha has managed to actually utilize the talents of the zebra finch, with his Poo Printer, an enclosure with letter-shaped perches that encourage the finches to shit a sort of crude calligraphy. In Lamoncha’s own words:
 

A group of male zebra finches underwent this experiment with rigorous commitment. The author/captor, taking the role of some kind of 1984´s Big brother, is providing the implementation guidelines for the transformation of this countercultural attitude into a marketable artsy product. The observation of this group of non-breeding birds in captivity and the experimentation with induced behaviors has been rigorously documented for this task. This project researches in a hybrid, artistic and scientific framework the physiological, mechanical and social dynamics of birds under captivity in a simulated factory-chain environment.

The result is the Poo Printer, an analog generative typography printer using the bird-poo as the particle substance in order to slowly generate the Latin alphabet characters over a large paper roll.

 

 

 
A time-lapse video of the Poo Printer in action, after the jump…

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
This dog’s butt looks just like the Ikea monkey
07.11.2016
10:12 am

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Animals

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Remember Darwin the macaque monkey who achieved worldwide Internet celebrity four years ago when he was photographed running amok, dashingly suited in a shearling coat, in an Ontario IKEA? The image of tiny forlorn Darwin launched a thousand memes.
 

 
Darwin, a prohibited exotic animal, had escaped from his owner’s car when he was spotted in the IKEA. His owner at the time was fined $240 Canadian dollars ($177 USD) for keeping a prohibited animal and subsequently lost a court battle to win him back.

Since then, Darwin has been housed at the Story Book Farm Primate Sanctuary in Ontario where he has lived a pretty normal monkey life ever since his days of Internet fame. Last December, VICE published a lovely interview with one of Darwin’s caretakers.

The subject of Dawrin the macaque in the shearling coat came up a couple of days ago when someone posted the following image to reddit simply titled, “My friend’s dog’s butt looks like the IKEA monkey.”

The post delivers on the title’s promise:
 

 
The resemblance is uncanny.

This is the best dog ass since the Jesus Christ dog ass:
 

 
Via: reddit

Posted by Christopher Bickel | Leave a comment
Artist creates huge portraits of cult icons from donuts
07.08.2016
09:52 am

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Amusing
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Food

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004maddonut.jpg
‘Alfred E. Neuman’ looking kinda doughy
 
Move over Chuck Close! Candice CMC creates art so good you could almost eat it. Well, not quite.

From the back of the room Candice’s large portraits of iconic cult figures from film, television, the arts and sciences look like bright, beautiful, Pointillistic paintings. Up close—they’re donuts.

Hundreds of photographs of tasty-looking donuts arranged by color, texture and tone—chocolate, vanilla, pink strawberry, blueberry, sugar glazed with sprinkles on the top. If they were real donuts instead of just photographs I s’ppose the big temptation would be to just eat ‘em all up.

Candice CMC is an artist, photographer and graphic designer—and her donut portraits are currently on show across Europe. However, if these pictures get your taste buds watering—you can order out as they are for sale.
 
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‘Marilyn with Blue Earrings’—Marilyn Monroe.
 
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Mister Spock from ‘Star Trek.’
 
More donut portraits after the jump…

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
This zany old French guy wants to sell you pills that make your farts smell like roses or chocolate!
07.07.2016
11:49 am

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Amusing

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Christian Poincheval is a charmingly eccentric Frenchman with an innovative new product that I cannot believe has not already been mass produced. Poincheval claims he has invented a pill that actually perfumes your flatulence to smell of roses, violets, chocolate, or ginger—there’s even a version for farty cats and dogs!

We were at table with friends after a copious meal when we nearly asphyxiated ourselves with our smelly farts. The gas wasn’t that great for our table neighbours. So something had to be done about this. You can disguise the sound of a fart but not the stench.

I can’t find a lot of credible reviews of Poincheval’s Pilule Pet (one reviewer claimed they reduced her gassyness so much that it was impossible to truly test for smell), and to be honest, his whole vibe doesn’t exactly scream “scientific innovator,” but for about $35 you can get some weird old French guy’s novelty fart pills—a value at twice the price—and that should frankly be seen as a bargain. (I just feel like he’s living the sort of life that deserves patronage.)
 

 
A recent profile of Poincheval confirmed his bohemian credentials; he moved to Paris as a teen, where he met his wife Évelyne, with whom he formed a fairly successful nine-piece “gypsy jazz” band that played all over France. Évelyne and Christian still play music sometimes, but the couple has mostly retired to a small town in rural France, where Christian creates whimsical sculptures and invents from his modest cottage. Poincheval is a bit of a French celebrity, first gaining attention for inventing a toilet paper with news articles printed on it. His projects are all sort of thematically irreverent and charmingly childish, and I think the fart pills (whether they work or not), fall into a sort of Duchampian absurdist tradition.

Below you can hear Poincheval sing the song he wrote for his fart pills! 
 

 
Via This is Why I’m Broke

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
Totally tubular ‘A Flock of Seagulls’ wig can now be yours!
07.07.2016
09:17 am

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A wig based on the gravity-defying hair of A Flock of Seagulls vocalist, Mike Score.
 
Although summer is officially in full swing I’m one of those people who likes to plan ahead for Halloween. I’ve got a group of friends who really take this holiest of unholy holidays very seriously (last year I went out as Adam Ant—let that sink in) and believe that it’s never too early to start thinking about who you’ll pretend to be on October 31st. So as a child of the 80s, my head nearly exploded when I came across this wig that will allow you to cultivate the impossible hair once worn by Mike Score—the vocalist and keyboardist for New Wave band A Flock of Seagulls. Say what?

The gravity-defying wig can be yours for a mere $20 bucks over at the site 80s Tees.com and according to some of the testimonials on the site some folks even thought that it was real hair when they saw it. All I can say is that this thing would have come in handy when I got thrown out of A Flock of Seagulls show (after sneaking in when I was fifteen on a dare) because everyone would have clearly known I was “with the band.” It’s unclear if Mr. Score—who was a professional hairdresser before starting the band—has anything to do with his signature 80s hairdo being sold as a wig to the masses so if you (like me) know you can’t possibly live without this amazing head-topper, you might want to act fast!

More photos and the video for my favorite AFOS jam “Wishing (If I Had a Photograph of You)” from the band’s 1982 record Listen follow after the jump…
 

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
University building sure looks a lot like a toilet
07.06.2016
02:41 pm

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Amusing
Design

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In February the State Council of the Chinese central government released an “urban blueprint” calling for buildings that are “suitable, economic, green and pleasing to the eye,” and putting the kibosh on those that are “oversized, xenocentric, weird.”

One wonders how the officials behind that directive reacted when they saw the building recently unveiled by an educational facility in Hainan, China. It bears a striking resemblance to a certain plumbing object that most of us use every day.
 

 
Here’s the kicker: the school in question is actually the North China University of Water Conservancy and Electric Power, leading some to suppose that the commode-ish design of the structure is a tongue-in-cheek reference to the purpose of the university. That it was deliberate!

This new toilet-building arrives in a year when many people are saying that Zaha Hadid’s design for the airport in Beijing, scheduled to be completed in 2019, looks suspiciously like a vagina.
 

 
via Mashable

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
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