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‘Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face’ action figure
07.10.2014
11:56 am

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Amusing
Movies

Tags:
Pulp Fiction


 
I know, I know, it’s waaaaaaay too early to start talking about holiday stocking stuffers, but c’mon… An “Oh man, I shot Marvin in the face” action figure by GFY Toys?

Perfect if your Barbie needs a headless boyfriend!

-Each figure is fresh out of the trunk, hand painted and sealed just for you!*

-Custom blood splattered!

-Hand smashed head chunks!

-“Interactive” card art!**

-6 points of unarticulation!

-100% not resin!

-For Ages 80 and up!

-Opinions sold separately!

It’s $45 + shipping here.


 

 
via Nerdcore

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Steven Spielberg, ‘animal killer, disgusting inhumane prick’
07.10.2014
08:29 am

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Amusing
Movies

Tags:
Jurassic Park
Steven Spielberg


 
Publicly shaming poachers and assholes who kill exotic or endangered animals on Facebook has been going on for years. But this photo takes the cake of the worst kind of “hunter” on the planet! Just look at Steven Spielberg’s smug face!

Click here to see the full top image. Click here to read the image below.
 

 

 
via Das Kraftfuttermischwerk

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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‘Ghosts’ photobomb portraits of their loved ones

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Con-man and so-called pioneer of “spirit photography” William Hope made a tidy sum with his corny pictures of ghosts photo-bombing loved ones’ portraits.

Hope started his career in England as a carpenter, but in 1905 he quickly wised up to the potential fame and fortune that could be made from passing off double-exposed pictures as “genuine” images of ghosts. His photos achieved considerable acclaim with some notable fans including Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, who penned The Case for Spirit Photography in support of Hope’s work. Mind you, the creator of Sherlock Holmes was unfortunately someone who believed in fairies at the bottom of the garden.

Yet, the need of many to be reassured of life after death encouraged Hope to form the Crewe Circle—a group of like-minded spirit photographers, which included Archbishop Thomas Colley—to make money out of bereaved families after the slaughter of World War One.

Thankfully, Hope was eventually exposed as a fraud in 1922 by “psychic investigator” Harry Price, who marked Hope’s photographic plates, which when printed proved Hope was double exposing negatives to achieve his famed spirit portraits. Price wrote in his report:

William Hope has been found guilty of deliberately substituting his own plates for those of a sitter… It implies that the medium brings to the sitting a duplicate slide and faked plates for fraudulent purposes.

It’s easy to think our super-smart minds wouldn’t have been fooled by Hope’s fakes (ahem), but one need only turn on the television to witness a host of TV mediums claiming they can talk to the dead to appreciate we’re just as dumb.

Looking at these photos, it’s not the Scooby-Doo like phantoms that intrigues me, but the faces of the sitters, and their dress—heavy wool and Tweed clothes—which must have made the wearer uncomfortable and no doubt highly odorous.
 
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More ghostly portraits, after the jump…
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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You’ll Die Laughing: MAD artist Jack Davis’ wonderfully funny horror trading cards


 
In 1959, Topps trading cards released a set of monster trading cards, illustrated by the great EC horror comics/MAD magazine artist Jack Davis, called “You’ll Die Laughing.” From the informative page about the set on the PSA Card website:

Showcasing creatures from the imagination of Jack Davis, of EC Comics and MAD magazine fame, these pasteboards sparked controversy upon initial release. Worried that the card images would traumatize their children, a group of mothers in Racine, Wis., reportedly protested against Topps and its advertisers.

“The art on the cards was really in the tradition of MAD magazine,” explained Bill Bengen, who owns the top set on the PSA Set Registry, “and I remember my mother’s reaction to MAD magazine, she wouldn’t let me buy it. She said, ‘You can buy Superman, but you can’t buy MAD.’ Today this set wouldn’t even get a reaction. They would probably call it mild.”

With this series, however, Topps discovered that negative publicity could be good for business. Fueled by their parents’ disapproval, kids hoarded these cards and packs sold out across the country.

“The idea of the forbidden, the taboo, that definitely enhanced the sales,” said Bengen.

 

 

 

 

 
More monster madness from Jack Davis after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Discussion
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Experience ‘Clown Fucker,’ the perfect Morrissey parody
07.03.2014
05:52 am

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Amusing
Music

Tags:
Morrissey
clowns
Dana Gould

Clown Fucker
 
On the most recent episode of his podcast, veteran standup and former Simpsons writer Dana Gould explored what is and isn’t mentionable in comedy—the title of the episode is “You Can’t Say That!” In the service of making a different point, Gould happened to play a clip (about 10 minutes in) from his 1998 album Funhouse, a clip that has the most spot-on, deadly accurate impression of Morrissey I’ve ever heard.

Through sheer imaginative brio, Gould, who hails from Massachusetts, manages to nail the exaggeratedly maudlin quality of Moz’s lyrics, his affectation of turning the last word of every other line into a four-syllable affair, his achy-breaky way of singing every word in a different register…. all, of course, by showcasing content that would be very unlikely to make it into a Morrissey song: the saga of a one-night stand with a circus clown. Brutality can do wonders in comedy, which explains the song’s title (and chorus): “Clown Fucker.”

Here are the lyrics, but you have to hear Gould’s version to get anything like the full effect:
 

He awoke in the morning and to no surprise
The man of last night had fled
Stains of white greasepaint on her body that ran
From her toes to the top of her head

The alarm stung her ear, she rolled over to spy
Much to her chagrin and her dread
A crumpled red nose and two oversized shoes
Strewn by the side of the bed

chorus
“Clown fucker! Clown fucker!” That’s what they said
“Clown fucker! Clown fucker!” That’s what they said
“No, never fuck a clown, dear,” that’s what mommy said
“Never, never fuck a clown, dear,” that’s what mommy said

She went to the bar and she started to drink
She drank and she drank and got drunk
She walked up to him and said, “How could you leave?”
But all he could do was honk

She knew it was over, it sunk in just then
It was time to say “it’s the end”
He walked out the door and stepped into a car
With forty-eight of his friends….

 

 

Posted by Martin Schneider | Discussion
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Death metal construction worker
07.03.2014
05:43 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
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This fellow looks especially skilled at knocking shit down and destroying things, but I’m not too sure about his bricklaying and tiling skills.

Maybe that’s for another music video to a different number?
 

 
Via Nerdcore

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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Pills, thrills and absinthe: Unusual swimsuits for the summer
07.02.2014
09:18 am

Topics:
Amusing
Drugs
Fashion

Tags:
Swimsuits


 
Because you can never have enough pill-themed swimsuits in your life, right? If you don’t want to sport pills on your bodacious bod, there’s an absinthe-themed suit as well. Don’t mix pills and absinthe, though, you’ll be sorry.

Both swimsuits are by Poprageous and retail for around $109.00 each. I’ve also added the Eazy-E swimsuit by the same company because why not?


 

 

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Meet Kim-Jong Sexy Beast Divine Dick Iron Man: Man with Sweden’s longest name?
07.02.2014
07:11 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
World Records
names

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Alexander Ek, a 25-year-old man from Haninge near Stockholm, claims he has the longest name in Sweden, after changing it to the 63 word nomenclature:

Kim-Jong Sexy Glorious Beast Divine Dick Father Lovely Iron Man Even Unique Poh Un Winn Charlie Ghora Khaos Mehan Hansa Kimmy Humbero Uno Master Over Dance Shake Bouti Bepop Rocksteady Shredder Kung Ulf Road House Gilgamesh Flap Guy Theo Arse Hole Im Yoda Funky Boy Slam Duck Chuck Jorma Jukka Pekka Ryan Super Air Ooy Rusell Salvador Alfons Molgan Akta Papa Long Nameh Ek.

Currently known as “Papah Long Nameh,” Ek has changed his name six times since he was eighteen, each time adding a selection of carefully chosen titles.

In Sweden a person can change their name once for free, after that each change costs $149.

Ek told Nyheter24:

“My parents were a little confused the first time a letter came addressed to Usama-Bin Ek instead of Alexander.

“I don’t always get my mail and sometimes the electricity bill is late, but that’s part of the charm.”

Last year, Ek was one of dozens of Swedes who changed their name to “Klaus-Heidi” in the hope of winning a new life in Berlin. He didn’t win, and no longer counts Klaus-Heidi Bratwursten amongst his names.

“It would be wonderful to win a trip to North Korea now, but then I probably wouldn’t have come back,” he joked.

 
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Ek may hold the Swedish record for longest name but not the world record

That belongs to 41-year-old woman from Hartlepool, England, who changed her name in 2012 to:

Red - Wacky League - Antlez - Broke the Stereo – Neon Tide - Bring Back Honesty – Coalition – Feedback – Hand of Aces – Keep Going Captain – Let’s Pretend – Lost State of Dance – Paper Taxis – Lunar Road -  Up! Down! Strange! – All and I – Neon Sheep – Eve Hornby - Faye Bradley – AJ Wilde – Michael Rice – Dion Watts – Matthew Appleyard – John Ashurst – Lauren Swales – Zoe Angus – Jaspreet Singh – Emma Matthews – Nicola Brown – Leanne Pickering – Victoria Davies – Rachel Burnside – Gil Parker – Freya Watson - Alisha Watts – James Pearson - Jacob Sotheran-Darley - Beth Lowery – Jasmine Hewitt – Chloe Gibson - Molly Farquhar - Lewis Murphy – Abbie Coulson – Nick Davies - Harvey Parker - Kyran Williamson - Michael Anderson - Bethany Murray - Sophie Hamilton - Amy Wilkins - Emma Simpson - Liam Wales - Jacob Bartram - Alex Hooks - Rebecca Miller - Caitlin Miller - Sean McCloskey - Dominic Parker - Abbey Sharpe – Elena Larkin – Rebecca Simpson - Nick Dixon – Abbie Farrelly – Liam Grieves – Casey Smith – Liam Downing – Ben Wignall – Elizabeth Hann - Danielle Walker - Lauren Glen - James Johnson – Ben Ervine - Kate Burton - James Hudson - Daniel Mayes - Matthew Kitching – Josh Bennett – Evolution – Dreams.

Dawn McManus changed her name after she set up a children’s charity Red Dreams, following the sad death of her son Kyle. Dawn agreed to change her name by Deed Poll to honor all those the charity had helped since 2008—a total of 225 words, 1,215 characters.

Previously a man from Edinburgh, Scotland, Barnaby Usansky, formerly known as Nicholas Usansky, held the record after having his birth name changed by Deed Poll in 2011 to the 29 word title:

Barnaby Marmaduke Aloysius Benjy Cobweb Dartagnan Egbert Felix Gaspar Humbert Ignatius Jayden Kasper Leroy Maximilian Neddy Obiajulu Pepin Quilliam Rosencrantz Sexton Teddy Upwood Vivatma Wayland Xylon Yardley Zachary Usansky.

Read more after the jump…
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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The time Ian McKellen jammed with the Fleshtones on MTV in 1987


 
Last week, we told you about the short-lived MTV series Andy Warhol’s Fifteen Minutes, a brilliant and unimpeachably hip NYC countercultural olio that the famous pop artist curated and co-hosted for the music network before its final descent into full suck. I combed the Internet for videos from that show in an effort to be as comprehensive as possible. I’m almost embarrassed to tell you how many hours I spent looking, actually. But despite all that effort, OF COURSE I missed something brilliant, and lucky I am that an attentive reader clued me in.
 

 
Just before they set off on their Fleshtones Vs. Reality tour in 1987, NYC’s Fleshtones—a great band who’d combined early psych cool, surf-rock twang, R&B swagger, and shitloads of cheeky, high energy fun—taped two segments for Warhol’s show. This confluence of personalities was a perfectly natural one—Fleshtones singer Peter Zaremba was in Warhol’s orbit going back to the days when he lived in a loft across the street from Warhol’s Factory, and he was, at the time, also the host of his own MTV program, the excellent IRS’s The Cutting Edge. (It’s such a damn shame The Fleshtones never really took off big—back in those days, Zaremba seemed to me like such an unfuckwithable ambassador/avatar of cool.) The band first did a madcap lip-syncing of their song “Return of the Leather Kings.”
 

 
And while that was great fun, it’s the second segment they taped that should be far, far better known than it is. In it, the band jams while Ian freakin’ McKellen recites a Shakespearean sonnet. It’s my good fortune that the reader who tipped me off to this happens to be the man who literally wrote the book on the Fleshtones, Sweat: The Story of the Fleshtones, America’s Garage Band, music writer Joe Bonomo. (Among other works, Bonomo also wrote a dandy 33 1/3 on AC/DC.) I quote here from Sweat, page 256:

The pairing with McKellen was fantastic: as the actor dramatically recited Shakespeare’s “Twentieth Sonnet,” the Fleshtones accompanied him in the background, creating ambient psychedelic music. The kind of marriage of high and low art prized by Warhol, the union provided all concerned with kicks. The guys invited McKellen down to the Pyramid with them after the taping, and he gladly came along for some alternative East Side divertissement. (When the performance was released the next year on the Time Bomb compilation, the Fleshtones were able to enjoy one of the more notable songwriting credits in recent pop history: “Zaremba / Milhizer / Spaeth / Warren / Streng / Shakespeare”.)

 

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Discussion
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Maoist movie reviews: What won’t be banned under the dictatorship of the proletariat…
06.30.2014
02:24 pm

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Amusing
Movies

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Maoists


 
We here at Dangerous Minds tend to avoid covering bourgeois and banal pop culture, but sometimes it’s the shittiest, most hackneyed art that inspires the most whacked-out critiques. This brings me to my favorite marginal leftist project—the (tragically now defunct) Maoist Movie Reviews! Luckily, the The Maoist International Movement (usually known by their decidedly benign-sounding phoneticized acronym, MIM, said like “mim”) left the archive up!

There are a lot of tiny marginal political movements in this country, both on the right and the left, but few have ever been quite so earnest as MIM. MIM was run by the Maoist Internationalist Party: Amerika (yeah, they spelled it just like that, I told you they were earnest), and was a weird collection of politics for a bunch of (let’s be honest, presumably white) Americans. MIM’s ideology, known as “MIM Thought,” interpreted from Mao an extreme commitment to “Maoist Third-Worldism,” a revolutionary anti-imperialist position that argued the only true proletariat were in the “Third Word” which is a hazy concept to begin with. It’s a weird political focus, certainly, but made even moreso when you learn the Maoist Internationalist Party had no known international affinity groups and no real resources besides a PO box in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

The most fun thing about MIM though, is the emphasis on the cultural revolution—the idea that communism would be best enacted by removing any trace of bourgeois culture. During Mao’s actual reign in China, there was some wiggle room. They allowed Beethoven’s 9th Symphony a form of Maoist ballet. MIM attempted to emulate this practice by writing regular movie reviews to assess the post-revolution acceptability of popcorn blockbusters and the odd film classic.

Predictably, the results are absolutely batshit…
 

James Earl Jones as Thulsa Doom and Colin Powell—think about it!!!
 
For example, Conan: The Barbarian (1981) and Conan: The Destroyer (1984) received a joint review, my favorite except of which is:

In the case of “Conan: The Barbarian,” Conan is explosive material because he came from an oppressed village that ended up in slavery. There is definitely something dialectical about how someone forced down to the bottom rose up and upended convention.

Meanwhile the self-satisfied youth who followed the exploiter leader of the suicide cult had no progressive umph of their own, just alternative lifestyles. Though the exploiter leader was Black, MIM has no trouble calling him an exploiter and oppressor in that context. By itself, nor do we object to casting a Black character as the godly leader of evil. It’s just that Nietzsche, a Black leader leading white youth to their doom and a superman raised up from oppressed white people to free white people from a Black god—the message combined is definitely not good. Even more troubling than the film is the reality of the thought that the imperialists may raise up a Colin Powell or the like and this may make the anti-imperialist struggle more difficult.

Looking for something a little sexier? There’s a critique comparing Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life and Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle. Both came out in the summer of 2003, and MIM gave them both a feminist take-down so cartoonish you can read it in Rush Limbaugh’s “sarcastic” voice.

These summer films deserve to be reviewed together because they are basically the same idea: sexy wimmin in revealing outfits performing outrageous stunts to fight the bad guys and save humanity from impending doom. Overall MIM opposes the pornography that is so prevalent is this patriarchal capitalist society. This is not because of some Christian purism or moralcode, but because we can see that pornographic portrayals of wimmin in mainstream culture perpetuate gender oppression and inequality. Even looking beyond the pornography there is little redeeming in either of these films.

It’s not all dour asceticism though—sometimes those mimmies surprise you! They really liked Pixar movies and Harry Potter, for example, even though they believe “fantasy film [encourages] people to escape today’s socially caused problems!” As you would expect, “MIM Thought” is pretty dictatorial—it is named for a dictator, after all—but the faith of the Maoist in the potential for a politically pure culture never wavers.

Below, Momus gets his Leonard Cohen on…
 

Posted by Amber Frost | Discussion
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