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Hilarious ‘beatnik girl’ makeover from 1963
03.23.2015
05:01 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
beatniks


 

Transforming a beatnik. It’s no more difficult than discovering the hidden beauty that lies under the greasy unturned skin of any woman who hasn’t surrendered a whole morning at least once a week to the experts.

So states the narrator in this funny piece of British Pathé newsreel footage from 1963. The premise here is simple. A young, cigarette-puffing, black-haired, black sweater and jeans-clad “beatnik girl” walks into a beauty salon that specializes in “teaching teenagers how to make the best of themselves” and, for better or worse, comes out looking like a new a woman.
 

‘Beatnik Girl,’ Pre-Makeover
 
After snubbing out her smoke, the soon-to-be transformed foxy finger-snapper bounds in through the front door and a team of of beauticians start to work some magic. After rubbing an egg concoction into her hair and putting it up in curlers, they lay in on some heavy facial treatment. This includes a facial massage, pads being placed over the eyes, the application of a plastic mask, and the brushing on of anti-wrinkle cream and hot wax.

By the time they get to the “oxylation spray” and some new shiny pink lipstick the narrator speculates that:

By now you’d give anything to be back in your leather jacket with your unkempt hair, wouldn’t you?

At the end of the clip, our former beatnik elegantly walks down a wooden staircase under a chandelier in a glistening new dress, donning maybe a slightly lighter hair color and looking like an entirely different person from the one who came through the front door a little while earlier.
 

‘Beatnik Girl,’ Post-Makeover
 
I don’t know about you, but I think she looked way cooler as a beatnik.
 

 
via Weird Universe

Posted by Jason Schafer | Discussion
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Billy Corgan doesn’t want to be called ‘Billy’ anymore; it’s WILLIAM, now, goddamnit
03.20.2015
01:36 pm

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Amusing

Tags:
William Corgan


 
Billy Corgan, frontman of the Smashing Pumpkins, lover of cats, wrestler and pitchman for local Chicago furniture commercials, announced publicly at a show in Lima that his name is not Billy anymore. “My name is not Billy. My name is William,” said Corgan to the crowd after everyone sang “Happy Birthday” to him.

So there you have it. We’ve all been wrong for all these years and he’s never ever bothered to correct us before on how he actually wishes to be addressed. Do you hear that, guys? IT’S WILLIAM FUCK YOU VERY MUCH. I mean sheesh, they just sang happy birthday to ‘im…

 
via CoS

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Post punk icons as classic Marvel Comics superheroes
03.20.2015
07:41 am

Topics:
Amusing
Art
Music
Punk

Tags:
Marvel Comics
Butcher Billy


 
Butcher Billy, the Brazilian designer behind the hilarious “Post/Punk New Wave Superfriends,” which reimagined punk and post punk icons in the guise of Justice League superheroes, has given Marvel Comics their fair turn. Because you NEEDED to see Siouxsie Sioux as Scarlet Witch, Mark Mothersbaugh as Iron Man, John Lydon as Wolverine, and Ian Curtis as Spider-Man. And I needed to finally get a chance to write the phrase MORRISSEY SMASH!
 

 

 
More after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Discussion
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We want plates! Heroic citizens take a stand against stupid foodie presentation
03.20.2015
07:19 am

Topics:
Amusing
Food

Tags:
food
We Want Plates
foodies


Tiny picnic table, but no tiny plates for ease and convenience.
 
Plates are a pretty ingenious feat of design—a largely flat surface for solid foods, with the perimeter curled upward, ever-so-slightly, so as to contain any wily or runny food as you chow down. It’s a simple, yet elegant, way to dine, but somehow there is this absurd foodie trend of eschewing the noble plate in favor of… basically everything that is not a fucking plate. These are not restaurants I patronize, mind you, these are restaurants I boycott, because while I can appreciate creative culinary presentation, I refuse to eat anywhere that appears to value flash over utility, and apparently I am not alone in just wanting my fucking food served on a fucking plate. This is nowhere close to being “too much to ask for.” A plate???

Enter the noble citizens of We Want Plates, a heroic organization “Crusading against food being served on bits of wood and roof tiles. Chips in little buckets, peas in flowerpots and jam-jar drinks can do one too.” You can join them on Twitter and Facebook, where they publicize the most egregious offenders in hope of shaming them back to their senses. Foodie novelty must be stopped!
 

Butter… served on a pebble.
 

Just paper on a plank—not even a little novelty value to compensate for the fact that you egg yolk is about to run any which way.
 

A ping pong paddle. Note the running sauce/moisture/whatever.
 

Oh come on!
 
More of this idiocy after the jump…

Posted by Amber Frost | Discussion
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‘I Survived Another Meeting That Should Have Been An Email’ ribbon
03.19.2015
01:30 pm

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
work sucks


 
We’ve all fucking been there, sitting through a tedious meeting with your co-workers that goes on forever and knowing damned well the entire thing could have been summed up in one simple email. But no, you had to sit there and listen to the non-stop boring babble which was a big waste of everyone’s time.

Well, there’s a ribbon that’s been created for that called the “I Survived Another Meeting That Should Have Been An Email” to remind yourself after each senseless meeting that you really did put up a good fight with your brain cells… and won a small victory. Or at the very least… maintained your sanity.


 
via Geekologie

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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The whimsical anarchism of the White Bicycle revolution

002whitebike.jpg
 
In the summer of 1965, Dutch designer and political activist Luud Schimmelpennink suggested a simple radical scheme that would eventually change the world. Schimmelpennink had an idea for creating a more sustainable environment by giving away free bicycles for communal use in Amsterdam’s city center. The suggestion was called the “White Bicycle Plan” and was part of a series of “White Plans” devised by the Dutch anarchist group Provo.

Provo is a Dutch word for “young trouble-maker” and was considered an appropriate name for a group of young anarchists to carry out political “happenings” and stunts that were inspired as much by DADA as by Herbert Marcuse. Provo was formed by artist and anti-smoking campaigner Robert Jasper Grootveld, writer and anarchist Roel van Duijn and activist Rob Stolk in May 1965. Their motivation, they explained, was to fight back against capitalist society that was “poisoning itself with a morbid thirst for money,” where its citizens were “being brought up to worship Having and despise Being.”

Because this bureaucratic society is choking itself with officialdom and suppressing any form of spontaneity. Its members can only become creative, individual people through anti-social conduct.

Because the militaristic society is digging its own grave by a paranoid arms build-up. Its members now have nothing to look forward to but certain death by atomic radiation.

Provo attracted anarchists, beatniks, activists, hippies, philosophers and even “charlatans,” “scratchers and syphilitics, secret police, and other riff-raff.”
 
00provbik.jpg
 
The group listed their beliefs as:

Provo has something against capitalism, communism, fascism, bureaucracy, militarism, professionalism, dogmatism, and authoritarianism. Provo has to choose between desperate, resistance and submissive extinction. Provo calls for resistance wherever possible. Provo realises that it will lose in the end, but it cannot pass up the chance to make at least one more heartfelt attempt to provoke society. Provo regards anarchy as the inspirational source of resistance. Provo wants to revive anarchy and teach it to the young. Provo is an image

In 1965, Provo announced their plan to stop all personal motorized transport within Amsterdam, making the streets safe for the public and only accessible by walking, cycling or public transport. Provo presented their proposal to the municipal authorities, suggesting that they should buy 20,000 white bicycles every year giving them away free for public use. This proposal was rejected by the local politicians. Provo then decided to supply 50 free bicycles themselves—this was the “Witte Fietsenplan” or “White Bicycle Plan.”

The White Bicycle Plan proposes to create bicycles for public use that cannot be locked. The white bicycle symbolizes simplicity and healthy living, as opposed to the gaudiness and filth of the authoritarian automobile.

 
00firstbikwhi.jpg
The first white bicycle is given away.
 
However, as soon as these 50 white bicycles were made freely available they were impounded by the police on the grounds the bikes were not “lockable.” Apparently, all bikes in Amsterdam at that time had to be lockable. Undeterred by the police actions, Provo waited until the bikes were returned and they then fitted each bike with a simple combination lock with the number painted on the bike’s frame. Of course, some of the bikes were stolen, but the White Bicycle revolution had begun.

Continues after the jump…

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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Send your enemy a bag of dicks
03.18.2015
03:58 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Food

Tags:
bag of dicks


Gummy dick
 
Forget about those anonymous “glitterbomb” envelopes—so last year—Dicks By Mail is the new kid in town with edible dicks in a bag. They’ll send a bag of dicks to anyone you want ‘em to.

For a mere $15 the company will send an anonymous bag of phallic-shaped gummy candies to your enemy with a note that reads “Eat a bag of dicks.”

It’s simple. It’s easy.

According to their FAQ section:

Who should I send a bag of dicks to?

It’s been said that people, on average, are able to keep a close network of about 250 people in their lives. I recommend all of them. However, the top 10 list of people to send a bags of dicks to are…is?...are;

1) Coworkers
2) Ex Girlfriend/Boyfriend
3) Roommates/Landlords
4) Your best Friend
5) The Westboro Baptist Church
6) Teachers
7) Your estranged father
8) President Obama
9) The man that killed your father/brother/dog
10) Frank Stallone

It appears they come in assorted flavors, so the person you send them to may really dig ‘em. Everyone likes some variety when it comes to a bag of dicks.

What did Frank Stallone ever do to them, I wonder, to deserve a bag of dicks?


 
via Daily Dot

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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‘Pussysparks’ and her NSFW St. Patty’s Day power tool shenanigans
03.18.2015
09:00 am

Topics:
Amusing
Television

Tags:
power tools
Cirque de la Femme


 
TV viewers in Chicago who were expecting local TV channel WGN to celebrate the holiday with the usual panoply of shamrocks and leprechauns draped in green received quite a jolt last Friday morning when Shana Vaughan-Gabor, a performer with Cirque de la Femme, took the stage. Vaughan-Gabor’s thing is, to be delicate about it, simulating the act of pleasuring herself with an angle grinder, an act that generates an impressive stream of sparks.

Amusingly, Vaughan-Gabor’s nickname is “Pussysparks,” and she is also a professional dominatrix. It might have been a good idea if WGN had read her CV before booking her for the show.

In the video below, as Vaughan-Gabor starts up with the sparks, reporter Pat Tomasulo inanely shouts “I’ve been waiting my whole life to meet a woman like this! Lord knows, I can’t do that on my own!” while the off-air hosts say things like “Oh no, stop…. What is going on!?” Even better, after the sparks are overwith, Tomasulo shouts to a group of children gathered around him: “Hey kids, what did you guys think of the lady shooting sparks sparks out of her midsection?” (Answer: “Creepy and stinky.” All right!)

Later, WGN anchor Larry Potash took to Twitter to apologize for the “unintentional porn” that took place during the show. Methinks he doth protest too much: It’s NSFW, for sure, but that still doesn’t make it porn.
 

 
In any event, Cirque de la Femme got some free publicity, which is A-OK with me.
 

 
via Chicagoist

Posted by Martin Schneider | Discussion
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Sociological feminist fart study results
03.18.2015
08:16 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
poop
fart


 
Neuroses of the anus are perhaps the most common and socially encouraged bodily anxiety—the disposal of waste is pretty universally accepted as gross, and no one wants to talk about it much. At what point though, do manners become cumbersome and rarefied, robbing us of our rightful earthly amusements? Certainly, a good fart joke is a pleasure most often denied the “fairer sex”!

Luckily, sociologists Martin Weinberg and Colin Williams (two trailblazing researchers from my alma mater of Indiana University—go Hoosiers!) are doing the dirty work—so to speak. In their article “Fecal Matters: Habitus, Embodiments, and Deviance” (seriously, that title was published by Oxford University Press), the two address not only the embarrassment surrounding passing gas and defecation, but the gendered manifestations of shame itself! Their abstract:

This article examines fecal matters—namely, the social concerns that can accompany defecation and flatulence. Researching 172 university students, we show how aspects of the socio-cultural context as “embodied” in four groups of participants (heterosexual women and men and non-heterosexual women and men) mediate the operation of the “fecal habitus”—that part of culture that interprets and organizes fecal events (Inglis 2000). The study finds that the heterosexual women and the non-heterosexual men show the greatest commitment to the habitus and the heterosexual men the least. It provides some evidence that the non-heterosexual women also show a decreased commitment. Theoretical contributions show how the concept of embodiment can highlight everyday “social problems prevention work” by paying attention to the role of the different senses, the emotional components involved in bodily mishaps, gender discrimination and the privileging of male status, and the elaboration of stigma theory.

Yes!  Finally, the social sciences are dealing in the shame gap between the sexes! See below for edifying tables—some predictable, some of which may surprise you! (Lesbians posed a particular conundrum for the researchers: Although as a group, lesbians were the least likely to think others would find farts funny, conversely our sapphic sisters come in second only to heterosexual brahs in farting on purpose to get a laugh. Go figure… and gay guys are the least likely to fart intentionally. Who knew?)
 
y
 

 

 
Via Sociological Images, Thanks to Gerard Di Trolio

Posted by Amber Frost | Discussion
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Probably the oddest thing you’ll see all day
03.17.2015
10:28 am

Topics:
Amusing
Unorthodox

Tags:
dance
latex body suits
baby masks

0001babdanbodsuceit.jpg
 
This deserves to go viral. Let’s imagine the scene: our couple have swiped together on Tinder.

“So, uh, whaddya like to do in the evening?”

“Oh, you know, I just put on my muscle suit and baby mask and you know, just dance around to eighties songs.”

“Go put on your baby mask and let’s fuck!”
 

 
There’s still…. more after the jump

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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