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Bob Ross ‘talks dirty’
02.20.2012
07:30 pm

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I like to beat the brush. That’ll be our little secret.
 

 
Via Have You Seen This

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Apparently Obama has a ‘reptilian implanted on the back of his head’
02.20.2012
04:01 pm

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YouTuber wingnut Projectinsighter uploaded an in-depth video breakdown about the reptilian thing-a-ma-bobber implanted on the back of President Obama’s head.

Notice the Days of Egyptian Gods..The Alien in the back of the Head. Then look at the new scars of Obama and his alien in the back of his head..Hell is upon us.

BarondePencier points out in the YouTube comments, “As a reptilian alien symbiote, working in the ancient Anti-American conspiracy department, I’d like to say that this video is insulting to reptilians everywhere.”

Agreed.
 

 
Via The Daily What

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
How to make edible meat underwear
02.20.2012
01:49 pm

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To make these tasty undies you’ll need:

   2 lbs Ground Beef
   3 Original Slim Jims
   3/4 cup Soy Sauce
   2 tbsp Hot Sauce
   1 tsp. liquid smoke
   Seasoning - red pepper flakes, celery salt, onion powder, salt, pepper

Tools:

   Dehydrator
   Rolling Pin
   Parchment Paper
   X-acto knife

When you’ve acquired the necessary tools and ingredients, follow these instructions.

 

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
Slavoj Žižek hates tulips
02.20.2012
11:14 am

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First there was Werner Herzog hating on chickens making the rounds on the Internet, now we have Slavoj Žižek hating on tulips. Hey Mr. Žižek, what did tulips ever do to you?

My relationship towards tulips is inherently Lynchian. I think they are disgusting. Just imagine. Aren’t these some kind of, how do you call it, vagina dentata, dental vaginas threatening to swallow you? I think that flowers are something inherently disgusting. I mean, are people aware what a horrible thing these flowers are? I mean, basically it’s an open invitation to all insects and bees, “Come and screw me,” you know? I think that flowers should be forbidden to children.

 

 
Via Nerdcore

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Anti-immigrant Republican congressional candidate outed by his Mexican boyfriend!!!


 
“Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive!”

Sir Walter Scott wasn’t talking specifically about self-proclaimed “corruption fighter” Sheriff Paul Babeu of Pinal County, AZ, but he could have been all the same. Babeu’s the strident, rightwing, bald-headed blowhard who’s neck and neck with Sheriff Joe Arpaio in the contest to see which of them can get the most “Hey, look at me!” media attention for being the most hateful racist hard-ass in Arizona law enforcement. He was in John McCain’s “border patrol” campaign ad in 2008. The guy’s got an insatiable need for media attention and is frequently seen on Fox News whenever they require someone to play a border hawk. Babeu recently spoke to the CPAC gathering of religious conservatives in Washington, DC. He’s got big plans to springboard from his anti-immigrant notoriety to a seat in Congress.

Uh… not so fast… We all know what this sort of idiotic attention-seeking did for Arpaio, who is the subject of a major Justice Department investigation that already looks so incredibly gnarly that Arpaio’s dumbass is obviously toast.. Now investigative journalist Monica Alonzo, reporting in the Phhoenix New Times has broken the story of a scandal that involves Sheriff Paul Babeu and it’s a doozy:

Babeu’s Mexican former lover is claiming that the sheriff’s attorney has threatened him with deportation unless he signed an agreement never to discuss their years-long relationship!!!

*Sputter* *cough*... I mean, you can’t make this shit up. And no one did. The evidence seems pretty damning to say the least!

The latest of the alleged threats were made through Babeu’s personal attorney, who’s also running the sheriff’s campaign for Congress in District 4, the ex-lover says.

He says lawyer Chris DeRose demanded he sign an agreement that he would never breathe a word about the affair. But Jose (New Times is withholding his last name because Babeu and his attorney have challenged his legal status) refused.

The 34-year-old from central Mexico charges that the sheriff’s lawyer warned against mentioning the affair with Babeu. DeRose said gossip about Babeu would focus attention on Jose, attention that could result in his deportation, Jose says.

Melissa Weiss-Riner, Jose’s attorney, confirms her client’s account.

She says she spoke directly to the sheriff’s lawyer, DeRose, about the Babeu camp’s threats that Jose could be deported if he “revealed the relationship.” She says DeRose falsely claimed that Jose’s visa had expired.

“Jose came to our firm because he felt he was being intimidated, and he was in fear for his life,” Weiss-Riner says. “He wanted his legal rights protected.”

Babeu didn’t respond to requests for comment by publication time for this article, but his attorney, DeRose, says the dispute between Jose and the sheriff concerned Jose’s work on Babeu’s websites. He says Jose was a former volunteer who hacked into a campaign website.

DeRose didn’t immediately address the other claims against him and the sheriff, except to say, “I never threatened to deport anybody” and that “[Babeu’s] not threatening anybody.”

Believe that if you are really gullible... There’s even a part of the story that involves a jealous Jose doing a “Babooshka” on Babeu, writing to him under a nom de plume on a website called adam4adam.com and posing as another man in order to catch him in the act! More from the New Times article:

Informed of the situation, Nancy-Jo Merritt, a longtime Phoenix immigration attorney, says such a threat would be indicative of an “atmosphere that’s been created politically in this state, so that if you get angry at someone who is Hispanic, you immediately jump down to the level of threatening to deport him.

“If what [Babeu’s attorney] says is correct [about Jose’s being illegal], either the sheriff had a long relationship with someone he knew was undocumented, while all the time being Mr. Bluster about the border and using it for political gain,” or he threatened to deport someone he just broke up with, Merritt says. [Emphasis added].

“That’s just the worst kind of hypocrisy.”

She adds that federal immigration-enforcement agents have better things to do than “take care of Babeu’s boyfriends.”

Antonio Bustamante, a criminal defense attorney and immigration activist, tells New Times that if the allegations against Babeu are true, “To use a position of authority . . . and make legal threats opens a Pandora’s box of ethics issues for any law enforcement person or any elected person. In this case, he’s both.”

Paul Babeu’s a lot of things!

When asked for a statement about the allegations and the online profile, Babeu’s attorney said:

“He believes he’ll be judged by his record as a 20-year veteran of the United States Armed Forces, police officer who has saved two lives in the line of duty and responded to thousands of emergencies, and Iraq war veteran.”

Tell that to Sean Hannity and your former friends in the CPAC crowd, Babeu…
 

Scandal Rocks Pinal County Sheriff’s Election Campaign: MyFoxPHOENIX.com

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
John Cleese Carefully Considers Your Futile Comments
02.17.2012
07:27 pm

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John Cleese answers YouTube comment questions the way only John Cleese could.

YouTuber IrishBagel107 writes: “Sarah Palin = Twit of the Year Nominee.”

John Cleese responds, “I think the problem with people like this is that they are so stupid that they have no idea how stupid they are. You see, if you are very, very stupid how can you possibly realize that you’re very, very stupid?”
 

 
Via Nerdcore

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Batman sings: Adam West on the ‘Milton Berle Show’ from 1966
02.17.2012
04:04 pm

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adam_west_batman
 
Holy vocal chords! Batman sings! Adam West gets all matey on the poop deck while charming (shurely hams? - ed.) his way through “This Is The LIfe”, from The Milton Berle Show. But first pop fiends Mr. West gives his rendition (shurely torture? - ed.) of a darling little heartfelt ditty “You Only See Her” found on the wonderful site Lord of the Boot Sale.
 

Adam West - “You Only See Her”
 

 

Bonus - Adam West sings “Miranda”
 
With thanks to Neil McDonald

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Texas conservative radio host in hit and run at gay bar


 
Yet another interesting situation that a conservative homophobe has gotten himself into at a gay bar! Well, well, well…

I heart these kinds of stories, don’t you?

Michael Berry, the Houston-area syndicated conservative radio talker (and former City Councilman) who markets himself as“The Czar of Texas Radio” is the same asshole who was forced to apologize for saying that he hoped the “Ground Zero Mosque” would be bombed back in 2010. The station Berry works for, KPRC-AM, is part of the Clear Channel network.

It looks like the “outspoken”—some might say bigoted—Republican bloviator was having a drink in a gay club called T.C.’s Show Bar last month. When he left, he hit a parked car before speeding off without stopping. Problem was, it was the bouncer’s car, he was standing outside, saw the whole thing happen, got Berry’s plate number and there are videotapes of Berry in the bar.

Lucy’s got some s’plaining to do, obviously. Via Raw Story:

The video shows a man who looks like Berry entering the bar while men in drag performed nearby. He ordered a beer and went to the bathroom on at least two occasions.

After leaving the bar at around 11 p.m. on Jan. 31, Berry allegedly backed his black Chevrolet Tahoe up 70 feet before smashing into Bennett’s Volkswagen Passat.

Bennett told police that he clearly saw Berry behind the wheel, but they refused to file charges.

“I’d say that’s the government at work,” he said. “I mean that’s corruption at its best. You know, a hit and run is a criminal, whether or not you’re an average individual or somebody who has his political pull that he does,” Bennett added in an interview with KHOU.

But here’s where it gets oh so good: IT’S ALL A LIBERAL CONSPIRACY as Berry intimated on his radio show… (Via The Houston Chronicle)

“I’ve always said when you do what I do, the way I do it, you make enemies. When you poke your finger in as many people’s eye as I do every day, you make enemies,” said Berry.

He said that his detractors “will accuse you of most anything” and he added, “You have to trust that in the end, the system works itself out, that there are checks and balances, there are people who will verify. But you also recognize that there are some people who want you to be crushed. There’s some people who hate you.  There are some people who privately would benefit from you not being on the air.”

He said he does not respond to reporters who question him “on their turf” because it is subject to editing.  However, at no point in his broadcast did he deny being behind the wheel and at no point did he address his presence in the club.

“You simply cannot go out there and chase down every nasty thing that is said about you.  Just because someone says something nasty about you doesn’t make it true,” he said.

The flip side of that?

“Videos don’t lie,” T.C.’s Show Bar bouncer Tuderia Bennett, the victim of the hit and run, told KPRC. “They don’t paint pictures that don’t exist.”

I’m inclined to believe that this escapade will be quite difficult to wriggle out of for Mr. Berry. Not just legally, but with his wife…

“If you’re going to stand up and say anti-gay things and be conservative and be Mr. Good Guy, and then when something happens that points you out and puts you in a place with the exact business that you aim to shut down, it kind of makes it seem like I need this to go away and I need it to go away quickly,” he said.

That’s not possible anymore in this day and age as Michael Berry is finding out. Will these fellows never learn?

Berry’s already been “immortalized” in a novelty rap song by rival radio jocks at station KILT:
 

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
The sayings of Nic Cage: A gospel of awesome
02.17.2012
02:59 pm

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Nic Cage is a meme stream and here’s the proof - 100 memorably surreal Cageisms.

“100 Greatest Nicolas Cage Quotes.”  Featuring scenes from (in order of first appearance): Gone In 60 Seconds, Wild At Heart, The Rock, Deadfall, Con Air, The Wicker Man, Leaving Las Vegas, Drive Angry, Face/Off, Wings Of The Apache (aka Fire Birds), Kick Ass, Honeymoon In Vegas, National Treasure: Book Of Secrets, Snake Eyes, Trapped In Paradise, The Family Man, Matchstick Men, Moonstruck, World Trade Center, Vampire’s Kiss, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, 8MM, Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans, Kiss Of Death, G-Force, Season Of The Witch, Lord Of War, National Treasure, Red Rock West.”
 

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
No, Homo: ‘Unintentional Gay Rap Lyrics’
02.17.2012
01:53 pm

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“Mr Cheeks”, perhaps the most unintentionally gay name in rap

Unintentional Gay Rap Lyrics is a blog that compiles, well, unintentionally gay-sounding lyrics from rap songs. Most of these rhymes were not designed to be, ahem, taken that way but it’s still pretty hilarious thinking of these über-butch (and in some cases homophobic) dudes in that kind of situation. Here are some choice examples:

GURU: “To all you herbs, i got something for that ass - the tongue of terrifying fury” 

(From Gangstarr’s “Tongue of Terror”)

BEANIE SIEGEL: “I’ll blow a nigga for a box of Huggies.”

(From “Toney Siegel aka The Barrell Brothers”)

BEENIE MAN: “How can i make love to a fella in a rush”

(From “Who Am I”)

BIGGIE: “We fucked in his bed, quite dangerous, I’m in his ass while he playing against the Utah Jazz”

(From “I Got A Story To Tell”)

DMX: “Suck my dick. And while you niggas that’s been to jail before know it’s about to get thick. Let’s get it on baby. I’m gonna be goin’ against 4 niggas and you think you crazy?”

(From “What’s My Name”)

SNOOP DOGG: “I got a pocket full of rubbers and my homeboys do too.. so turn out the lights and close the door (but for what?) we don’t love them hoes!”

(From “Gin and Juice”)

So let’s be clear here: You’ve got condoms, so do your boys, you just turned off the lights and closed the door. And you hate women. That’s so gay.

BIG PUN: “When you awaken, your manhood will be taken.”

(From “The Dream Shatterer”)

Thaaaat sounds like rape, and I bet you’d wake up if a 400 pound Puerto Rican man started deflowering you in your sleep.

There’s much more over at Unintentional Gay Rap Lyrics.
 
Thanks to Dalai Dahmer!
 

Posted by Niall O'Conghaile | Leave a comment
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