He raises the dead and whitens teeth with his supernatural powers: The miraculous Minister Mills
11.17.2013
09:47 am

Topics:
Belief
Kooks
Stupid or Evil?

Tags:
Joshua Mills


 
Why not? Jesus turned water into wine and stones into loaves of bread.

This odd fellow is Minister Joshua Mills and, according to his website, he’s no stranger to miracles:

During his services signs and wonders are commonplace with manifestations of supernatural oil and gold dust, creative healings, supernatural weight-loss, financial miracles, Angelic visitation and heavenly encounters.

During his visits to indigenous people of Canada, Mills really pulled out all the stops and managed to shift his miracle-making powers into high gear.

God began to move upon the Inuit people with signs and miracles – saving the lost, healing the sick, raising the dead, mending broken hearts and performing unusual wonders.

What? No teeth whitened? No fragrance of toothpaste? Watch the video!

Mills’ take on humanity is pretty dire and you’ve got to wonder why he gives a shit about people’s teeth. Among his list of seven things he believes in, here’s an upbeat nugget:

The utter depravity of human nature, the necessity of repentance and regeneration and the eternal doom of the final impenitent.

Somehow he manages to smile through it all as he goes about raising the dead only to condemn them to eternal doom. He’s kind of like Jesus with a cruel streak.

And ladies, in case you’re wondering, unfortunately, Minister Mills is married.
 

 
Now for the musical side of Minister Mills. For close to two hours, Mills vamps over the jazz/rock noodlings of his back-up band. Nothing quite coalesces into actual song. But at the 11:15 mark, Mills starts singing in tongues and giving up the funk.

 
Previously on Dangerous Minds:

Silly evangelists expect followers to believe in the lamest ‘miracle’ of all time!

Posted by Marc Campbell | Discussion
Impotent middle-aged Christian guy doles out sexual advice… for free!
11.05.2013
10:43 am

Topics:
Advertorial
Belief
Kooks
Sex

Tags:
Ed Hurst


 
This is one of those books that I reckon you can judge by the cover…

This curious little volume is by a fellow named Ed Hurst. It’s a free ebook you can acquire—should you want a copy—via the author. Hurst is a prolific self-published writer. His other titles include The Mind of Christ, The Chronicles of Misty, The Laptop Oracles,  A Course in Biblical Mysticism and Mystical Tales of Romance. He’s written 22—that’s right, 22—books in the past couple of years. On his website, Hurst declares “I am called to prophesy against Western Civilization as a whole, because it is fundamentally hostile to God’s revelation.”

Just so you know where he stands, K?

After telling the reader how he’s been faithfully married to his wife since 1978, Hurst gets… personal:

“I can claim a history of total fidelity, but you’ll have to decide for yourself how true that might be. Further, I am at the age and level of exposure to environmental pharmaceuticals that my libido is about gone. It still works somewhat with my wife only because of the vast ocean of trust she has earned. Otherwise, the wiring between my testosterone and my sense of taste in flesh is largely burned out. Not much of anything or anyone turns me on, so to speak.”

Why does Hurst inflict this information upon us? He explains:

“This helps to establish me as an objective observer. All I hope to gain is an opportunity for people to peel away the layers of social mythology and find peace.”

Ah ha! So when it comes to dispensing sexual advice, impotence = objectivity? Apparently in the parallel universe that Mr. Hurst resides in this is the case. He’s clearly not interested in bringing sexy back…

Hurst blames church leaders and feminism for the decline in Christian marriages. Specifically he blames the church leaders for feminism.

“What most preachers assume is good moral values still leaves the door wide open for feminine domination in the home and all the attendant problems that come with it. What part of “be submissive” in God’s Word do we not understand?”

According to Hurst, this feminism shit, why, it’s anti-Christian…

“Men tend to be a little lazy, particularly about enforcing moral boundaries. It requires a bit of indirect prompting, but direct nagging is a guarantee of failure. He is wired to bristle and resist. Rather, she has to devote herself to strengthening him according to his nature. A conspicuous devotion that others can see will provoke him to genuine heroism as much as anything can. Treat him like a hero until he feels the vibes and acts accordingly; a woman has no power to remake her man’s nature. He naturally gets angry if his woman embarrasses him in front of others.”

You hear that ladies, make your man feel like a hero.

Here’s Hurst’s (free) advice for the menfolk:

“Guys: Know your mission first. You simply have no business messing with women until you know who you are and what you must do with your life. That means delaying your start when gals your age are raring to go. Don’t be ashamed to come back when you’re ready and “rob the cradle,” but realize it is highly risky most of all because ten years is forever when it comes to cultural trends in the West. She’ll be quite foreign to you unless she’s partly retro. The biggest mistake you’ll make is allowing your hormones to run you off a cliff. Is she hot? Close your eyes and get a hold of yourself. Her beauty doesn’t mean a thing, except that she’ll probably be very hard to get, in one sense or another. The last thing you want to do is advertise your willingness to be a slave by staring like every other drooling loser.”

So says the guy who introduced himself to his readers by telling them that his dick is dead…

Via Matthew Paul Turner’s blog

Posted by Richard Metzger | Discussion
The House of David: Religious barnstorming with the original baseball beardos
10.30.2013
10:24 am

Topics:
Belief
Sports

Tags:
baseball
The House of David

Harry Laufer of the House of David
Harry Laufer of the House of David
 
The Boston Red Sox are looking to clinch their third World Series in the last 10 years—if that doesn’t happen, Game 7 is tomorrow, in which the St. Louis Cardinals will attempt to win their third World Series in the last 8 years. Either way, by Friday the baseball season will be over.

If you’ve been watching the TV coverage of the postseason action, you’re probably sick to death of the attention that’s been dedicated to the Red Sox players and their stupid beards. The faithful of Red Sox Nation populating Fenway tonight has taken up the gimmick in full force, and you’ll be sure to see some fake beards in the crowd if you watch tonight.
 
Red Sox beardos
Red Sox beardos
 
As Bill Murray pointed out in a recent interview with Esquire, “With the beards, they look like—what were they called, the Sons of David?” A footnote makes the clarification—Bill was referring to the Israelite House of David, a religious society founded by Benjamin and Mary Purnell in Benton Harbor, Michigan, in 1903.

Ben Purnell was fond of baseball, so he had the idea of getting together a team from the commune. In 1913 the House of David team started playing competitive baseball—they were an active barnstorming team from then all the way up to the 1950s, when the integration of major league baseball effectively put an end to the Negro Leagues and other similar teams like the House of David. As Wikipedia explains, “The team members wore long hair and beards as they played. … Some professional players grew their beards out to show their respect towards the god of Israel, while others wore false beards.”
 
Eliezer Schechter
Eliezer Schechter
 
The House of David is probably the only team in baseball history that consisted entirely of celibate players. The team also invented the warmup game of pepper. The early 1930s were a heady period for the House of David—the pitcher/manager was Grover Cleveland Alexander from 1931 to 1935. In 1933 Jackie Mitchell signed with the team, becoming the first woman ever to sign a pro baseball contract. The next year saw the addition of Babe Didrikson Zaharias as well as, for the Denver Post tournament, Satchel Paige his catcher Cy Perkins.

The House of David traveled all over the country as well as to Canada and Mexico, and their competition included some of the most formidable Negro Leagues teams such as the Homestead Grays. In the late 1930s, the House of David barnstormed across the country with the Kansas City Monarchs, another legendary Negro Leagues team. After Babe Ruth’s career came to an end, the House of David offered him a contract—but the Babe’s carousing habits more or less ruled him out of consideration.

In 2003, Drawn and Quarterly published cartoonist James Sturm’s The Golem’s Mighty Swing, a fanciful graphic novel about a fictional variant of the House of David.
 
The House of David
 
There’s a lot of information out there on the team, including the book House of David Baseball Team by Joel Hawkins and Terry Bertolino and the the House of David Baseball Team Research Project.
 
“House of David Baseball: The Best Team You’ve Never Heard Of”

 

Posted by Martin Schneider | Discussion
‘I’m a profoundly ignorant Carl Sagan’ admits ‘Barnacle Bill’s Semi-Factual Nautical Tales’ creator


 
Barnacle Bill’s Semi-Factual Nautical Tales is a fun new Australian TV series from Doug Bayne—he’s one half of the team behind the ultra-dirty, totally hilarious “Oglaf” comic—and Craig Anderson (The Elegant Gentleman’s Guide to Knife Fighting, Double the Fist). It’s “loosely” inspired by Carl Sagan’s famous Cosmos series, except that unlike the late scientist, they’ve got no budget for decent special effects and not much actual knowledge about the matters they cover.  Bayne says:

“Then I started thinking ‘I can make animations and know nothing at all about science - I’m like a profoundly ignorant Carl Sagan. I can use animation to share my ignorance with the world.’”

The duo describe their series as “an incredible voyage of discovery.”

Bayne’s “Oglaf” partner, illustrator Trudy Cooper is also involved with the production, which goes out at 11:40pm on Friday nights on ABC1. You can watch each short episode after they’ve aired on ABC’s website.
 

 
Thank you Taylor Jessen!

Posted by Richard Metzger | Discussion
Inexplicably compelling (and just plain weird) Jesus paintings
10.18.2013
10:29 am

Topics:
Amusing
Art
Belief

Tags:
Jesus


Wall Street Jesus makin’ a deal…
 
You may have already seen a few of these paintings by artist and Jesus-enthusiast, Nathan Greene. I recall seeing some of these paintings a couple of years ago on the Internet and being completely confused by them and yet, not being able to look away!  They’re strangely compelling, right?

Nathan’s paintings don’t come cheap, costing upwards of $1,495. Thankfully, there are prints available at cheaper prices.

There’s a whole gallery here if you’d like to take a gander at even more.


Adam and Eve? Or is it Jon Hamm and Mila Kunis?
 

Jesus jokes with a little girl: “I tawt I taw a putty tat.”
 

Jesus helps a perplexed scientist get his head around Darwin…
 

Would Jesus in the operating room be comforting or just the opposite?
 

Jesus watches over you while you sleep. That’s not cool.

With thanks to Arya Senboutaraj!

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
Vatican spells ‘Jesus’ wrong on 6,000 papal medals
10.11.2013
10:56 am

Topics:
Belief

Tags:
Pope Francis
Lesus

Lesus medallion
 
Now that Pope Francis has signaled, in the Jesuit magazine America, a desire to pull back “on issues related to abortion, gay marriage, and the use of contraceptive methods,” the Vatican finally has an occupant that even liberals can learn to love.

Pope Francis is apparently even challenging the doctrine of papal infallibility.

The Italian State Mint recently issued a set of gold, silver, and bronze medals to commemorate the beginning of Pope Francis’s papacy—but a key error was spotted after the production process.

Referring to a pivotal quotation that inspired the young Jorge Mario Bergoglio to seek his destiny in the Catholic Church, the medallions were suppsosed to read, “Vidit ergo Jesus publicanum et quia miserando antque eligendo vidit, ait illi sequere me” (“Jesus therefore sees the tax collector, and since he sees by having mercy and by choosing, he says to him, follow me”), but instead the medallions read, “Vidit ergo Lesus publicanum et quia miserando antque eligendo vidit, ait illi sequere me.”

The Vatican has recalled the six thousand medals. Four of the medals had been sold before the recall, according to the Vatican press office. Those lucky people may have received a keepsake that may become a valuable collector’s item someday—praise Lesus!
 
via Spiegel Online

Posted by Martin Schneider | Discussion
Christian group thinks it’s ‘better to die than to live’ in pro-gay world!


 
Last night as I was writing this post about the end of the world fantasies of the Christian Right, I came across a ridiculous quote from dim-bulb entertainer Pat Boone who once said that he’d rather his young daughters died than to be raised under godless Communism.

I’d imagine that little Debby and her siblings would have felt differently, perhaps.

Here’s a new one, though: Christian political organization,The Family Leader, headed up by the sleazy Bob Vander Plaat, says it is better to die than live in a world welcoming of gay people.  In an article posted on their website with the title “9 Reasons You Will Be Made to Care,” The Family Leader group laid out a manifesto of ignorance, as Gay Star News reports:

They referenced the Disney Channel featuring a lesbian couple on a TV show, a California bill ensuring trans people can use the right bathroom, the US evangelist who was arrested in London for spouting anti-gay hate, and the Colorado baker facing jail after refusing to make a wedding cake for a gay couple.

The boycott of Barilla pasta has pissed them off too. What’s a poor Christian who is “being targeted by homosexual activists who’s [sic] agenda is clear: approve of my lifestyle or pay the consequences” to do, The Family Leader asks.

“At first, the cases were few and far between. Now the number of cases are building, and the collective threat is growing, with the goal of suffocating Christians’ vocal opposition to promoting a lifestyle which is not consistent with their faith.”

Would Jesus discriminate?

Here’s how it ends:

What will you do?  Will you give in to their agenda by saying and doing nothing? Or will you lead yourself, your family, your church, and your community?  Our nation, our children need leadership. What you choose will impact generations to come.

To paraphrase a quote from Winston Churchill:

“If you do not fight when you have a chance of winning, you will eventually fight when you have no hope of winning, because it will be better to die than to live.”

Or you could just kill yourself if you’re too sensitive to live IN REALITY. Like those nice Heaven’s Gate people.

It’s a modest proposal. A more realistic one.

The Family Leader’s loathesome leader, Bob Vander Plaat, is mulling over running for the Senate in the Republican Party primary in Iowa next year. He could win, too.

Via Joe.My.God

Posted by Richard Metzger | Discussion
‘Christianity was a hoax’ and scholar claims he has the proof
10.09.2013
04:56 pm

Topics:
Belief
Books
History

Tags:
Christianity

Covert Messiah
 
To the question Was Jesus Christ a real person? American biblical scholar Joseph Atwill says, “The short answer is no.”

Oh boy! This ought to be fun.

On October 19 Atwill will present some provocative new findings in London. Atwill’s thesis is that the New Testament was written by first-century Roman aristocrats who fabricated the entire story of Jesus Christ. Per Atwill: “The Caesars committed a crime against consciousness. They reached into the minds of their subjects and planted false concepts to make them easier to control.” Atwill claims to have iron-clad proof of his claims.

Atwill’s most intriguing discovery came to him while he was studying “Wars of the Jews” by Josephus—the only surviving first-person historical account of first-century Judea—alongside the New Testament.
 

I started to notice a sequence of parallels between the two texts. Although it’s been recognised by Christian scholars for centuries that the prophesies of Jesus appear to be fulfilled by what Josephus wrote about in the First Jewish-Roman war, I was seeing dozens more. What seems to have eluded many scholars is that the sequence of events and locations of Jesus ministry are more or less the same as the sequence of events and locations of the military campaign of [Emperor] Titus Flavius as described by Josephus. This is clear evidence of a deliberately constructed pattern. The biography of Jesus is actually constructed, tip to stern, on prior stories, but especially on the biography of a Roman Caesar.

 
Here’s a promo video about Atwill and his findings:

 
(Thanks to Ron Kretsch!)

Posted by Martin Schneider | Discussion
‘DO NOT EAT THE CAKE OF LIGHT!’ Dangerous Minds attends Aleister Crowley’s Gnostic Mass
10.06.2013
05:25 pm

Topics:
Belief
Occult

Tags:
Aleister Crowley


 
“A certain magician may 100% believe in the existence of spirits or gods actually existing in the universe,” explains Adrian Dobbie, President of the Electoral College of the UK chapter of Aleister Crowley’s Ordo Templi Orientis. “Or, if you do some magical evocation to summon a spirit of the Goetia and you communicate with it, that it is definitely a thing. And then there’s a whole other bunch of people, Crowley being one of them, who say, ‘actually these are simply properties of the mind.’ Personally”—he takes a pull on his pint—“I fall into the camp of the agnostic concerning whether these things exist.”

The two of us are sat in a very old pub in the City of London, near where Adrian works, surrounded by lawyers and bankers whose girth looks directly proportionate to their wealth—as if they got so fat literally eating money. For his part, the magician opposite me is a lean, healthy early forties, with short dark hair, a neat beard, and a ready wolfish smirk. (We have, unsurprisingly, picked out a quiet corner for our discussion.)

“The first solo ritual I ever did was very powerful to me,” he continues. “Because although I thought I’d rid myself of the whole Christian dogma—of a God in the sky who’s gonna punish me and all that stuff—the impact of that first, relatively innocuous ritual had on me was incredible. I thought: if the Bible is right I’m going to hell. That’s the line in the sand.”

A longtime Crowley reader and admirer, Adrian joined the OTO about a decade ago. I ask him about his first impressions—how the OTO’s 21st Century incarnation compared, say, to the Crowley heyday he must have grown up reading about…

“My initial experience was extremely positive. I was looking to contact the genuine article; I was looking for mentors, and I got that in spades. The OTO’s ‘heyday’ is today. When Crowley was alive, there was basically just one lodge in the whole world, and when he died there was still just a handful of people in the OTO—fifteen or thirty. Now, there’s over three thousand… But it’s nowhere near what it could be,” he concedes. “We’re still hiring community halls, and we’re still meeting in people’s houses. One of the biggest thing people have to overcome when they first get involved is a sense of disappointment. But that’s one of the first tests.”

Following our four-pints/interview, Adrian is nice enough to invite me to a Gnostic Mass in his native Brighton. (The official invitation attached to the email informs me that the ritual—designed by Crowley, and the organisation’s central rite—was to be preceded by a “TEDx” style talk!)

So, on an overcast September Sunday, I jump on a train from London, arriving in Brighton around midday. It is drizzling and cold. Stripped of her summer finery, the city feels provincial and drab, abandoned to its druggy intrigues for another nine months.

I may as well lay my cards on the table. Raised Catholic, and carrying a jangling jumble of latent Christian bric-a-brac, I prefer to remain precariously perched on the metaphysical fence. In short, I’m keen to cop a glimpse of a Gnostic Mass, but averse to actually nibbling some Cake of Light.

Regarding which, incidentally, I have other, altogether more mundane concerns…

A couple of days ago, I emailed a friend and mentioned my pending trip to Brighton. Their unexpected, seven-word response had read precisely thus: “DO NOT EAT THE CAKE OF LIGHT.” When I had inquired as to the source of such uncharacteristic upper-case vehemence, he had briefly responded that said cake reportedly included the priestess’s menstrual blood!

[Author’s Note: The OTO would like me stress that in fact the Cake of Light contains the merest homeopathic hint of this, shall we say, unorthodox ingredient. “A single drop of blood (which may be of any kind),” they write—sort of almost disappointingly really—“is mixed into the dough of one singular cake. That cake is then baked before being burned entirely to ash, which is then mixed into the dough of a batch that could make up to 50 or more cakes.” Your correspondent had imagined a kind of womb-drawn black pudding or occultnik yucky cookie. Which it very definitely is not. No occultists are ever harmed in the making of a Gnostic Mass.]
 

 
Quarter of an hour early, and frowning at my creased and printed map, I nervously shuffle up a gravel driveway running beneath a block of flats corseted in scaffolding. I’m early. At the end of the driveway less than half a dozen men are standing around outside the entrance of a small faux-Victorian community center.

Before I even reach them I can already hear the tripwires in my psyche (and stomach) a-twanging.

Adrian isn’t about, but I mention his name and introductions are made. This is a special, invitational Gnostic Mass, and a couple, like me, are invitees (though presumably bona fide neophytes rather than tremulous hacks). At least one seems a little nervous, while the OTO initiates—mostly middle aged men with either long hair or none, each with unusually pale blue eyes—inspect us with that slightly salacious curiosity with which people on one side of an experience examine those at its verge.

In the pub Adrian had referred to magick as “psychological transgression.” I can see what he means! The atmosphere is a distinct mixture of the religious and the illicit—as if we were all here for an afternoon of metaphysical dogging.

More people start to arrive, men and women now of varying ages and types. Adrian, our priest, emerges from the community hall along with our priestess, a beautiful Eastern European with dark eyes and darker jewelry. I smile and nod and shake hands, leaning up against a parked car and feeling disingenuously attired in the guise of a prospect.

A thickset guy perhaps in his early thirties, with protuberant features and a hoodie baring a Crowley sigil, strikes up some conversation. He seems simultaneously affable and sly, and describes a weekend that has taken him from Glastonbury to London to Brighton, conducting various initiations. “We have a saying here,” he says matter-of-factly, fishing out a prepackaged sandwich. “No-one’s going to teach you but there’s lots of people who will help you learn.” He tucks in. It’s cheese and onion, and with each dizzying bite it occurs to me that, given the choice between this and Cake of Light, I might very well plonk for the latter.

“The tech,” he mutters (I think—?), “is powerful.”

“The tech?”

He looks at me, a little incredulously.

“The magick. The magick is very powerful. You might leave with a big smile on your face and you don’t know where it’s come from, or you might not get anything for a couple of days. But you’ll get something.”

“I was kind of hoping just to observe. Is it obligatory to participate?”

He gives me a very close look. It enters me like a stick gauging the depth of the water.

“Everyone,” he says, firmly, “is expected to take the sacrament.”

Shit.

He slips off, leaving me to freak out. I’m feeling as conspicuous as the copper in The Wicker Man

To my left stands a rather dapper old hippy with bright white beard and hair. I seem to remember being introduced to him as a fellow guest. We nod at one another.

“So,” I ask, venturing some occult small talk, “is this your first Gnostic Mass?”

“No, but it is my first for maybe… fifteen years.”

“Why the wait?”

“Oh,” he says, narrowing his (very blue) eyes. “I haven’t been waiting at all.”

Hail Mary, full of grace

I’m just readying myself to go scrambling back up the drive, pebbles pinging off my kicking heels, when the rain picks up, and the congregation, now thirty strong, begins to file into the community hall. And, against my better judgment, I file in along with them.

Within the twee, cake-sale space, an OTO temple has been installed – an effect both amusingly incongruous and disturbing, like an Alsatian mounting a poodle. I clock an embroidered checkerboard, Eye of Horus and nosediving dove, but much seems to be “occluded” in anticipation of the mass (we have, remember, that “TEDx-style” talk scheduled first)—what looks like an alter peeps out above a thick purple curtain.

Chairs have been laid out in rows before a little lectern, which Adrian presently ascends for the oration.

“There’s been a lot of speculation,” he begins, “about this being some kind of big OTO recruitment drive or something like that. So I just want to clear this up right away… it absolutely is.”

The room cracks up. Adrian, in his hyper-articulate fashion, talks Crowley, the OTO, and religious freedom for half an hour. The atmosphere, to be sure, is pretty dense—I’m certainly feeling the tech—and I sit desperate to leave but pinned to my seat by a combination of politeness and self consciousness.

Following the talk a loose-limbed discussion ensues, until the seated priestess starts catching Adrian’s eye and tapping her wrist. I try to remember if, in the Inferno, Virgil ever sweeps a hand across a burning lake of yelping Englishmen, nonchalantly explaining to Dante how “these dickheads managed to damn themselves out of social awkwardness.” Any second, I guess, the Gnostic Mass will get underway, they’ll break out the Cake of Light, and it’ll be even harder to leave.

“Right everyone,” says Adrian, taking the priestess’s visual cue. (This, I suppose, is it. Open wide.) “We’re going to have a short break now, while we get everything ready for the Gnostic Mass.”

Hallelujah! The rain has let up, and about three quarters of the congregation shuffles back outside for a pre-prandial cigarette and chat, while the remaining occultists busy themselves rearranging the chairs, pulling back the curtains, and preparing the hall. I goosestep over them, making a beeline for an amused and bemused Adrian, who I shower in incoherent apologies before hightailing it back to London…
 

 

Posted by Thomas McGrath | Discussion
‘Ignoramuses are holding America back’ says Richard Dawkins


 
I have to tread a bit lightly here since every blood relative of mine is a Creationist, so I’l just link to what Richard Dawkins has to say about American science being held back by religious myths and sidestep whatever familial shit I might personally step in.

On Monday, Dawkins and Steven Pinker appeared on Capitol Hill on behalf of the Secular Coalition for America.

Via Raw Story:

A reporter asked Dawkins about the fact that more than 40 percent of Americans believe the Christian creation myth, that God created the world in seven days.

“This country is, without a doubt, the leading scientific nation in the world, beyond the shadow of a doubt,” Dawkins replied. “I can’t help wondering how much more advanced this country would be if you were not held back by this astonishing burden of 40 percent of the people who literally think the world, the universe is less than 10,000 years old.”

“I mean,” he said, “that is a staggering piece of ignorance. It’s a scandal.”

Believing that the world is less than 10,000 years old, Dawkins said, “is not a small error. It’s a gigantic, ridiculous error.”

The problem, he said, is based in part on the fact that school boards are elected in local elections, and that “in particular districts, it may be that the electors are electing ignoramuses.”

I’m more partial to the way Charles P. Pierce writes the plural form“ignorami.” That has an even meaner sounding ring to it and I appreciate that.
 

Posted by Richard Metzger | Discussion
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