You remember Willie Aames, don’t you? Right. That Willie Aames, he of Eight Is Enough and Charles In Charge fame. Oh, and Bibleman—the ongoing “adventures of a man transformed by the word of God.” I remember getting my first taste of the B-Man one summer at Kirk Cameron‘s Camp Firefly. It was “TV night.” Me beside Chelsea. Hmm, what episode was it—“Jesus, Our Savior,” or “Lead Us Not Into Temptation?” Ah, well, I forget. Camp!
Anyway, thanks to YouTube, we can all catch up with Aames’ armor-clad creation. Now put aside, if you can, the above clip’s anti-semitic stabs at humor. It’s Aames’ donning of that suit in clips like this one that I’m sure contributed to his
Thanksgiving Day suicide attempt after filing bankruptcy, having his car repossessed and his wife of 22 years, Mayla Upton, asking for a divorce. The former child star had been sober for 20 years when he left his Kansas home depressed and shaken, and rented a room in Los Angeles from a friend, stealing a bottle of Jack Daniels. Aames was also taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication when he put a knife to his throat and cut himself in six places.
Wow, sad—six places?! But consider this: unlike the possibly mythic Job, Aames is a very real, flesh-and-blood vessel spreading God’s word. To children. On television, no less. If such misery could beset him, one of God’s best Generals, what hope is there for we common foot-soldiers? What God would inflict such torment? Well, maybe no God would. No God at all.
Bless you, Willie Aames, atheists everywhere should be singing your praises—or something like that. Hey, stay off those knives!
Newsweek reports that “We Are All Hindus Now”:
America is not a Christian nation. We are, it is true, a nation founded by Christians, and according to a 2008 survey, 76 percent of us continue to identify as Christian (still, that’s the lowest percentage in American history). Of course, we are not a Hindu?
More Illuminati nuttiness today, courtesy Vigilant Citizen, and YouTube’s FarhanK501. In the case of Ms. Gaga, Vigilant Citizen exposes the pop star as a possible extension of Project Monarch (i.e. mind-controlling) sneakiness. Well, of course she is, what else could all that “butterfly” imagery be about?! And have you noticed all her “eye-covering?” That’s eye-of-Horus stuff, right there, if you ask me. Still not convinced? Play “count the pyramids” in the following commercial for German television. What’s “Ms. Germanotta” selling? I have no idea, but, hmm, I’m now suddenly recalling my life as a Green Beret.
Regarding the still oddly-unburied Michael Jackson, FarhanK501 echoes what sister La Toya‘s been claiming all along: MJ was murdered. Not for his money, though. No, dodging “Satanic rituals,” but still reluctant to “say too much” to Ed Bradley, Jackson, it seems, was about to blow the lid off the Illuminati conspiracy itself…or at least Aspartame.
But what’s going on here, really—why tether MJ to the Illuminati?
Well, the reasons are probably as sad as they are simple. Heroes die, and for often all-too-worldly reasons: loneliness, self-loathing, drug-dependency. And that’s the last thing we want from our heroes: some suggestion that they’re mortal, of this world, one of us. So let’s all erase what we’ve learned about the dangers of propofol, shall we, and remember Jackson’s higher purpose here: ripping the veil off a centuries-old, artificial-sweetener-promoting conspiracy.
Spotted via Coilhouse: Lady Gaga, The Illuminati Puppet
More Uh-Oh: How Not Dumb Is Gaga In The New Yorker
I hacked this video together a while back by using a classic Disney cartoon remixed with a new backing track, “Princess Margaret’s Man in the Djamalfna” by Coil from the album “The New Backwards.” This kind of perfectly encapsulates one of my mini world-views. As Brion Gysin said… we’re all just Here to Go!