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  • The Krampus has been BORN: Behold this one-of-a-kind Krampus nativity set!
    09:37 am


    nativity scene

    Krampus nativity set
    Krampus nativity set
    As I am a ghoul to my very core (as are many of our Dangerous Minds readers), I was pretty excited to stumble on this (as far as I can tell) one-of-a-kind Krampus nativity set. Yes.
    The Krampus child and one of his demonic minions
    Krampus claw-head, one-eyed nativity scene character
    Made by Kingston, New York-based artist Galen Djuna (I’m a big fan of her “knitty-titties” crocheted dolls that include the great Tura Satana) made her demonic little set of Krampus revelers out of all kinds of stuff that she “collects” like teeth (including shark teeth), bones and claws, as well as seed pods and various other materials. Djuna even painted a pentagram on the manger housing the newly born evil Krampus child who is swaddled in well, blood.
    Two-headed Krampus nativity scene character
    Krampus nativity set character
    There are a total of seven demons and ill-intentioned animals in the set which will run your bank account a fat $950 (!). And yeah, I can totally see someone throwing that kind of cash down for this strange bit of deviant folk art. The Krampus has been BORN!

    Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
    Vintage Japanese Young Person’s Guide to Sex
    09:30 am


    Japanese sex guide

    You may have read last week about the young man who ‘fessed up to having spent his “entire life” masturbating the wrong way—an unfortunate experience that left him unable to have sex without severe and debilitating pain. If only this poor kid had consulted one of the many sex guides available online or at his local library, or even spent a few hours browsing Tumblr for all the gifs of people wanking then he may have avoided considerable inconvenience and discomfort.

    I am generally of the mind that sex guides hinder rather than enhance what should be an intuitive and mutually pleasurable experience—one ideally where individuals tell their partners what they want and share the enjoyment of sex together. But I know this isn’t how things pan out, as in the case of Twerking Seahorse’s alleged masturbatory misfortune—so maybe it’s for the best that people do have handy guides to help them on the way to pleasuring themselves and others.

    Yet sometimes sex guides can seem strange and slightly off putting—like those creepy illustrations of hirsute men enjoying the missionary position in Alex Comfort’s The Joy of Sex—or even cold and scientific, like a technical drawing from Popular Mechanics. This Young Person’s Guide to Sex from the 1960s is a case in point. It starts off practical enough with courtship rituals and hints about handholding and flirtation, before suddenly switching into a kind of Ballardian handbook on sex—with test tubes for cocks, and artist mannequins attempting to straddle a young woman. From what I can figure out, this handy little guide was pretty popular in its day—so it did help youngsters scratch that itch—though I’m not sure if Twerky Seahorse would have been any the wiser from reading it.
    Handholding for beginners.
    Hair combing or shoe-shining is a practical way to show interest in someone of the opposite sex.
    More handy sex tips after the jump, some of them highly confusing…

    Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
    Roky Erickson’s isolated vocals for ‘You’re Gonna Miss Me’ are crazier than a bag full of snakes
    08:38 am


    Roky Erickson

    Along with mashups, shreds, goofy gifs, LEGO and crazy things Christians do, the isolated vocal meme has pretty much worn out its welcome at the unabashedly hip Dangerous Minds. Even the word “meme” is dead. So we’re busy moving on to the next big thing…whatever that is. Don’t worry, we’ll find it. But in the meantime, humor me.

    Roky’s isolated vocal track is from the studio session of “You’re Gonna Miss Me” synced to a clip of The 13th Floor Elevators performing the song on TV’s Where The Action Is in 1966. The vocal track is such a concentration of pure unadulterated rock and roll that I had to share it.

    Erickson’s vocals are as primal, soulful and manic as it gets. From the first “yeah” to a series of blood-curdling “ahhhhhs” and yowls of “not coming home,” Erickson sounds like a snake handler who has fallen into a psychedelic briar patch. If moonshine made a noise, this would be it.

    In the absence of sound, the head bobs and hand jive of The Where The Action Is dancers (The Action Kids) is some seriously spooky hoodoo - the rocking dead.


    Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
    The lost ‘Fast Times At Ridgemont High’ TV series that was actually totally awesome
    07:54 am

    Pop Culture

    Cameron Crowe

    Fast Times at Ridgemont High is one of those special films that manages to capture the zeitgeist—at least from an American youth culture perspective—of an entire decade. Amy Heckerling’s 1982 film is as much a time-capsule of the fashion, music, speech, and cultural climate of the 1980s as her 1995 film Clueless is of the 1990s.

    Future generations studying teenage culture in the second half of the 20th Century would be well-served in absorbing the gist by putting those two movies on a playlist with Rebel Without a Cause, American Graffiti, To Sir With Love, Animal House, and Dazed and Confused.

    That just about covers the ‘80s.
    The importance of Fast Times At Ridgemont High as a document should not be understated, but it’s the characters that make it truly memorable. The characters are all based on real teenagers observed by Cameron Crowe while freelance reporting for Rolling Stone.

    With the cooperation of the school’s administration, Crowe spent a year at Clairemont High School in San Diego, California, as a “student,” gathering material for his 1981 book Fast Times at Ridgemont High, which was produced the following year as Amy Heckerling’s film of the same name. The film resonated with audiences because of its honest and non-exploitative explorations into teenage drug use, sexuality, and social milieu, with relatable characters and just enough comedic flourishes to keep it entertaining without being screwball.

    What a lot of fans of the film are unaware of is the fact that it was spun-off four years later into a CBS television show called Fast Times.

    Oh yeah, and here’s the thing: the show was actually pretty damn good.

    Fast Times was a mid-season replacement show that only lasted for seven episodes before cancellation. It debuted on March 5th, 1986 and ran through April 23rd, 1986. Cameron Crowe was a creative consultant for the show and was on set during the filming of the show’s pilot, which was broadcast as the second episode. Amy Heckerling was a supervising producer of the short-lived series and served as director for three episodes (“Pilot,” “What is Life,” and “The Last Laugh”).

    All of the major characters from the film appear in the show, with the addition of a new-agey female teacher, Ms. Mellon, who may have been based on Mrs. George from Cameron Crowe’s original book.

    Ray Walston and Vincent Schiavelli reprise their roles from the original film as Mr. Hand and Mr. Vargas. The other characters are played by new actors, some of whom are sort of second-rate versions of the stars from the original film. Grey’s Anatomy‘s Patrick Dempsey plays the Mike Damone character, but is a bit too nerdy to fill slickster Robert Romanus’ shoes (though he was honestly more age-appropriate for the role). James Nadini’s Brad Hamilton (played in the film by Judge Reinhold) comes off as a bit too wimpy for the “big man on campus” character (particularly in scenes where he needs to appear intimidating to Damone). Dean Cameron, perhaps best known as “Chainsaw” from Summer School does an adequate job of filling the Vans of Sean Penn’s Jeff Spicoli character, perhaps adding a bit of sympathy to the stoner. The real stars here are Back To The Future‘s Claudia Wells as Linda Barrett (played by 80s mega-crush Phoebe Cates in the original film), and Courtney Thorne-Smith (Melrose Place, Ally McBeal) as Stacey Hamilton. Thorne-Smith’s excellent performance rivals that of Jennifer Jason-Leigh in the original film.

    Dean “Chainsaw” Cameron as Jeff Spicoli
    What’s most remarkable about Fast Times is how watchable it is today compared to most mid-80s situation comedies. It does a fine job of capturing the vibe of the 1982 film. Many of the cut-away shots used in some of the episodes look like they could have been out-takes from the original motion picture. The writing is impressive, there’s no obtrusive laugh-track, the situations are believable and are logical extensions of the world created in Heckerling’s original film, and, most importantly, it’s entertaining.

    One can’t help but watch Fast Times and imagine the scenes in the show as performed by the original film’s actors. Perhaps if the show had debuted in 1983 instead of 1986, it could have been a hit. The entire series run is highly worth watching. Or, if you’re like Jeff Spicoli, worth watching highly. 

    All seven episodes are up, for now at least, on YouTube. Watch ‘em after the jump…

    Posted by Christopher Bickel | Leave a comment
    Sly And The Family Stone’s High Priestess Of Funk Cynthia Robinson R.I.P.
    04:39 pm


    Sly and The Family Stone
    Cynthia Robinson

    Cynthia Robinson stood out in a band in which every member stood out. She was a funky high priestess wielding a trumpet like a thaumaturgic ramsinga. And she wore a crown, a black afro, that was epic in its sculpted glory. Her presence was majestic. She was one of the first black women trumpet players in a rock band and set the tone for others to follow. But beyond the music, Robinson was a commanding figure, not content to stay in the shadows. She was the one that implored us to “get up and dance to the music” and showed us how it was done. Robinson died of cancer this past Monday.

    When learning of Robinson’s death, Roots drummer Questlove wrote…

    ... she wasn’t just a screaming cheerleading foil to Sly & Freddie’s gospel vocals. She was a KICK ASS trumpet player. A crucial intricate part of Sly Stone’s utopian vision of MLK’s America. Cynthia’s role in music history isn’t celebrated enough. Her & sister Rose weren’t just pretty accessories there to “coo” & “shoo wop shoo bob” while the boys got the glory. Naw. They took names and kicked ass while you were dancing in the aisle. Much respect to amazing CynthiaRobinson.

    In this rarely scene promo video from 1968, Robinson (in a perm destined for a blow-out comb) growls “all the squares go home” and her voice practically melts the microphone. It’s not a suggestion. It’s an order. And when she unleashes the full artillery of her trumpet the whole band revs its engine and the roof begins to wobble and shake.

    The video is particularly noteworthy for putting Robinson in the foreground where she really belonged. She’s every bit the front person as Sly and during the brief moments she’s featured in this film she totally upstages the rest of the group. She was one of those women who knew her place. Everywhere.

    Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
    ‘It’s not cranberry sauce!’: Thanksgiving-themed ‘80s slasher film is gory good fun

    Blood Rage
    As Dangerous Minds readers surely know, Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez incorporated fake movie trailers into their brilliant 2007 collaboration, Grindhouse. These previews for exploitation films that didn’t exist were made to resemble the type seen at grindhouse cinemas in the 1960s-1980s. One of the trailers was made by actor/director Eli Roth, most famous for the violent and controversial Hostel films, which have been labeled by some critics as “torture porn.” For his Grindhouse trailer, Roth came up with the delightfully deranged, Thanksgiving, which both celebrated and poked fun at the crop of holiday-themed slasher films that arrived after the major success of John Carpenter’s Halloween (1978).

    My friend Jeff, who plays the killer pilgrim [in Thanksgiving]—we grew up in Massachusetts, we were huge slasher movie fans and every November we were waiting for the Thanksgiving slasher movie. We had the whole movie worked out: A kid who’s in love with a turkey and then his father killed it and then he killed his family and went away to a mental institution and came back and took revenge on the town.

    As it turns out, there were at least two ‘80s horror films based around Thanksgiving, 1981’s Home Sweet Home, and 1987’s Nightmare at Shadow Woods (a/k/a Blood Rage). The latter has been given the deluxe, Blu-ray treatment, and will be released by Arrow Films on December 15th.
    Blood Rage
    The film opens at a drive-in in 1974. Eight-year-old twin boys, Terry and Todd, witness a teenage couple having sex in a car. While Todd is content to leer at the teens, Terry pushes his brother aside so he can bludgeon the two with an ax.
    Ouch! The carnage in ‘Blood Rage’ is just beginning. 

    Terry blames it all on Todd, who’s understandably in shock and can’t defend himself. Fast forward ten years, and we are informed via an awkward voice-over (I initially thought the commentary track had accidentally been engaged) that Todd has been institutionalized. Terry, on the other hand, has been going about a normal life.

    Louise Lasser, star of iconic ‘70s TV series, Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, plays Maddy, Todd and Terry’s loving mother. As the family is sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner, Maddy is informed that Todd has escaped from the mental institution. From this point on, it’s both alarming and amusing to watch Lasser’s character go progressively bonkers, as Maddy hits the bottle and becomes increasingly unglued. 
    Need a hand?
    Need a hand? Maddy loses her shit.

    As for Terry, Todd’s escape has stirred the wild beast in him, and he goes on a joyous killing spree, mutilating friends and neighbors in the process.
    It's not cranberry sauce
    “It’s not cranberry sauce.”

    Naturally, everyone thinks Todd is responsible. Meanwhile, man child Todd has indeed returned home, and the two brothers face off in a totally disturbing (yet still kinda funny) finale, which also involves Lasser’s Maddy and her shattered mental state.

    Little-known actress Julie Gordon plays Terry’s girlfriend, Karen. Gordon’s only appeared in a handful of films, so it was a cool surprise to see her onscreen here (she’s the female lead in one of my all-time favorite ‘80s movies, Super Fuzz). In Blood Rage, she has the coveted role of “Final Girl.”
    Julie Gordon
    The production wrapped in 1983, but the film didn’t see wide release until 1987 when it came out under the title, Nightmare at Shadow Woods. The violence was toned-down for the theatrical release, with some additional footage added. For the Blu-ray, Arrow Video has included three versions of the film: the restored, uncensored cut of Blood Rage, which was released on VHS; a restored Nightmare at Shadow Woods; plus a new composite edit.
    Nightmare at Shadow Woods
    In addition to the holiday theme, like many horror flicks from the period, it borrows liberally from Halloween. But even John Carpenter had his influences, and was surely swayed by the groundbreaking holiday slasher that preceded Halloween, Bob Clark’s Black Christmas (1974).
    Black Christmas
    Though Blood Rage is low on fright (we know who the killer is early on and almost always see him coming), the film more than makes up for it with heavy doses of gleeful butchery.
    He lost his head
    If you like your ‘80s horror movies goofy and able to induce flashbacks from the era—the hair, the fashion, the video games—you’ll dig Blood Rage.
    Good times
    It’s really too bad Eli Roth didn’t see this one back in the day. He surely would’ve enjoyed this silly slice of slasher cinema.
    Bloody popcorn
    Of course it’s never too late for Roth or anyone else to check out film—and there’s no time like the present. You can pre-order the Blood Rage Blu-ray/DVD combo, which includes tons of extras, on MVD or Amazon. In the meantime, check out the NSFW preview below.

    Happy Thanksgiving!
    Happy Thanksgiving

    Posted by Bart Bealmear | Leave a comment
    William Burroughs’ ‘Thanksgiving Prayer’—now more than ever!
    09:08 am


    William Burroughs
    Thanksgiving prayer

    “A Thanksgiving Prayer” by William Burroughs was written 30 years ago and it is as relevant now as the day Burroughs put it to paper. AIDS, the war on drugs, cops killing Blacks, homophobia, Big Brother…If anything, it’s gotten worse.

    So what is there to be thankful for? The right to talk about it.

    To John Dillinger and hope he is still alive.
    Thanksgiving Day November 28 1986

    Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger pigeons, destined to be shit out through wholesome American guts.
    Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison.
    Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum of challenge and danger.
    Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin leaving the carcasses to rot.
    Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.
    Thanks for the American dream,
    To vulgarize and to falsify until the bare lies shine through.
    Thanks for the KKK.
    For n*gger-killin’ lawmen, feelin’ their notches.
    For decent church-goin’ women, with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces.
    Thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers.
    Thanks for laboratory AIDS.
    Thanks for Prohibition and the war against drugs.
    Thanks for a country where nobody’s allowed to mind their own business.
    Thanks for a nation of finks.
    Yes, thanks for all the memories—all right let’s see your arms!
    You always were a headache and you always were a bore.
    Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human dreams.

    Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
    Cthulhu fhtagn: 2016’s ‘Lovecraftiana Calendar’ makes an eldritch Christmas gift
    10:03 am


    H. P. Lovecraft
    John Coulthart

    Are you a fan of H. P. Lovecraft? Or, maybe just seeking that perfect something for the Lovecraftian in your life? Then look no further than John Coulthart’s Lovecraftiana Calendar for 2016, which contains twelve sumptuous illustrations of some of Lovecraft’s best known creations.

    Coulthart is an artist, designer, writer and curator of the website {feuilleton}—an essential compendium of his interests, obsessions, and passing enthusiasms. Coulthart earliest artwork was for the album Church of Hawkwind in 1982. Since then, he has created a splendid oeuvre of artwork for books, magazines, comics and albums—for the likes of Steven Severin, Cradle of Filth, Melechesh and many, many others. Coulthart illustrated the “definitive” edition of Lovecraft’s The Haunter of the Dark and Other Grotesque Visions, and was involved in creating the legendary and infamous comic Lord Horror published by Savoy Books. He also has the “dubious accolade of having an earlier Savoy title, Hard Core Horror #5, declared obscene in a British court of law.”

    With the Lovecraftiana Calendar, Coulthart has brought together a selection of his mixed media illustrations of such mythical figures as Hastur,  Night Gaunt, Shoggoth, and locations such as the lost city of R’lyeh to powerful effect. And if this product twists your melon, then you can order your calendar here.

    JANUARY: Necronomicon (digital, 2015)


    FEBRUARY: The Yellow King (acrylics on board, 1996)


    MARCH: Nyarlathotep II (digital, 2009)

    More ‘Lovecraftiana’ after of the jump…

    Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
    The two most pointless people in California demand strip clubs and the McDonald’s McRib sandwich
    09:41 am

    Current Events


    Of the 14,000+ McDonald’s franchises in the United States only 8,000 of them carry The McRib sandwich. Your chances of finding a McRib are about 55%. And that’s freaking some people out. So much so that there’s a McRib Locator on the Internet that “was created to help McRib fans locate this tasty yet elusive sandwich.”  Apparently, a shitload of folks are hankering for a slab of pig guts tossed with yoga mats, 70 additives, chemicals, fillers, and GMO ingredients all held together by glue and slathered in barbecue sauce that tastes like liquid diabetes.

    When it comes to the McRib, sometimes you just gotta make a stand. Strip clubs too. Donald Trump has been strangely silent on these subjects. Not so the fine folk of Santa Clarita, California.

    Santa Clarita is the third largest city in Los Angeles County so you’d figure that the city council would be up to their elbows in all kinds of important civic issues. But who is to judge what is important and what is not? This is a democracy gawdammit! So at most city council meetings there’s a period for public comment on any topic… as you will see.

    In the following video two Santa Claritians (?) address the council on two pressing matters very near and dear to their hearts: strip clubs and the McRib sandwich. The first one up is a guy who looks like the love child of an overstuffed scarecrow and The Cure’s Robert Smith - a lap dancer’s equivalent of a hard day at the office. But he’s merely the opening act for the pink-haired goofball up next. You can feel the young woman’s pain as she laments that the nearest MaCrib was “seen” 350 miles north of Santa Clarita in the Bay Area. She looks like she’s about to cry over the anguish that it’s caused her poor family, not to mention the Santa Clarita “foodie community” who she claims to represent. Can’t the Mayor call up McDonald’s and DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS???

    Update: Okay here’s the scoop. I hate to be the guy to blow the cover off a great prank, but according to our super secret source, the “foodie” with the Manic Panik dye-job is fledgling comedian Xanthe Pajarillo . She’s pulled off an ingenious stunt. Had us fooled. She’s definitely got a future in comedy and that future is now.  So who’s the dude? Robert Benjamin. Another comic. Brilliant guys, brilliant.

    The Service Industry’s homage to the McRib “Liquid Meat (Into A Form).”



    Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
    Um, wait, so is EVERYONE in this town a pedophile? Watch insane cartoon ‘The Cautious Twins,’ 1960
    09:22 am


    The Cautious Twins
    Sid Davis

    Last weekend I was privileged to have attended a performance by Mystery Science Theater 3000 writers/puppeteers/mad scientists Trace “Dr. Clayton Forrester” Beaulieu and “TV’s Frank” Conniff. They did live movie riffing in the now-familiar MST3K style, and it was really quite an excellent time. They have two shows coming up in the next few months, In St. Louis on Saturday, December 12, 2015, and as part of the San Francisco Sketchfest on January 15, 2016. If you’re an MST3k fan at all, this is a show you really have to see, especially since Beaulieu and Conniff are not going to be a part of Joel Hodgson’s forthcoming reboot of the series. (I’m optimistic about the performers chosen to serve as the new host, mad scientist & robots, though.)

    I won’t reveal the feature film they riffed just in case they plan to use it at any of the forthcoming shows—I’d hate to spoil a welcome surprise. But as a warm-up, the pair also ably mocked a couple of preposterous cartoon shorts, one of which was so completely around the bend that they could have kept their mouths shut and it still would have been a riot to watch. It was a don’t-talk-to-strangers scare PSA produced by the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department, called “The Cautious Twins,” and was the animated counterpart to a contemporary pamphlet.

    The titular twins Dorene and Dan have the opposite of a helicopter mom, who sends them off to explore the town on their own. (To be clear, I’m not being critical here, I grew up really free-range, myself.) But mom might reconsider her permissiveness if she properly understood that every adult male in town save for one cop is a sleazy, leering, predatory pedophile. In fact, merely being more watchful might not suffice. She should really consider moving as far away from this nightmarish place as possible. Her poor kids can’t go ANYWHERE without getting hit up by a creeper.



    That the story is told with cheap, stilted, limited-motion animation, and narrated in awkward doggerel over a calliope soundtrack elevates it from merely creepy to completely demented, and the wide eyed, perma-grin expressions the preternaturally chipper twins wear only add to that effect.

    Notably, “The Cautious Twins” was directed by one Sid Davis, a director and producer who also gave the world scare films like “The Dangerous Stranger,” “Say No To Strangers,” and the massively homophobic “Boys Beware.” If you happen to be a collector of such oddball cultural produce, you might like to know that “The Dangerous Stranger” and “The Cautious Twins” are included as extras on Something Weird’s DVD release of Hitch Hike to Hell.

    Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
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