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Brain-dead, redneck diesel lovers brag about how much toxic smoke their trucks can spew

Rollin' Coal
 
I’ve long since stopped being amazed at the mental knots that white, male conservatives (usually white and usually male, anyway) will tie themselves into as a reaction to their rage that other voices are permitted to participate in the political process and even occasionally combine to form a consensus that might infringe on their god-given rights to be a malicious dickwad. In the last month or so we’ve seen the phenomenon, in reaction to some 2nd Amendment infringements that are mostly imaginary, of shotgun-toting fellows deciding that Home Depot as well as various chain eateries might be a appropriate venues to bring portable machinery expressly designed to kill living organisms. The pushback on the part of Chili’s, Sonic, Chipotle, and Starbuck’s have largely been successful.

Valorizing guns is stupid and rude. When you enter a restaurant with lethal weapons, the best-case outcome is that everyone else in the establishment feels threatened and must cower in the face of your cheaply purchased superiority (it’s not that difficult to carry a gun, after all, any dummy or old fart can usually accomplish at least that much). Even to mention the disheartening statistics is a sure sign that you support Obummer’s incipient Orwellian police state, but here goes: In the United States, deaths due to firearms occur on the order of 30 a day; over a 99-day period in 2013, 215 children were killed, the vast majority as a result of accidents.

Anyway, the latest display of inconsiderate mouth-breathing bullshit has to do with climate change. It’s become common for the proud owners of diesel trucks to champion the unpleasant black spew that emanates from their vehicles as a key blow struck in the name of freedom, against the liberal elite that seeks to save the planet from climate-related catastrophe. The keyword for this, er, “movement” is “Rollin’ Coal.” There’s a “Rollin’ COAL” group on Facebook that has 15,000 likes. The commenters who push back against the fossil fuel stupidity routinely invoke the modest penis length of the “Rollin’ Coal” crowd:

“I’ve never seen a larger collection of men with tiny dicks over-compensating than on this page.”

 
Truck Yeah
 
One of the favorite tropes of the “Rollin’ Coal” groups is a little poem that goes like this:
 

Roll, roll, rollin’ coal
Let the hybrid see.
A big black cloud.
Exhaust that’s loud.
Watch the city boy flee.

 
Here’s a brief description of the trend, from “‘Rollin’ Coal’ Is Pollution Porn for Dudes With Pickup Trucks” by Elizabeth Kulze:
 

In small towns across America, manly men are customizing their jacked-up diesel trucks to intentionally emit giant plumes of toxic smoke every time they rev their engines. They call it “rollin’ coal,” and it’s something they do for fun.

-snip-

Aside from being macho, the rollin’ coal culture is also a renegade one. Kids make a point of blowing smoke back at pedestrians [see the video at the bottom of this page], in addition to cop cars and rice burners (Japanese-made sedans), which can make it dangerously difficult to see out of the windshield. Diesel soot can also be a great road rage weapon should some wimpy looking Honda Civic ever piss you off. “If someone makes you mad, you can just roll coal, and it makes you feel better sometimes,” says Ryan, a high school senior who works at the diesel garage with Robbie. “The other day I did it to this kid who was driving a Mustang with his windows down, and it was awesome.”

 
I haven’t figured out a way to embed it, but Kulze’s article features a video that makes the resentment-based roots of the diesel enthusiasm explicit, with its tittering references to “Prius driving socialists.” It’s really worth a look.

What’s most astonishing about the “Rollin’ Coal” folks is that, I mean, surely the highly visible black smoke tends to make the climate change case, doesn’t it? Is there any way that that smoke could be good for the environment? Have these diesel drivers ever seen a fish, a pond, a leaf, or a tree? Do they think that bees, trees and tadpoles can just withstand the toxic fumes with no consequence? It’s difficult to figure out what they’re thinking about or if they are even capable of thought at all. At best the practice is a way of saying “I get to do whatever I want, and any bad things that occur are your problem.” Lovely. I gain some comfort from considering that these types of particularly stupid good ol’ boys often graciously volunteer to remove themselves from the gene pool with drunk driving and other fun activities.

Below, a compilation of asshat diesel truck drivers intentionally releasing their smoky coal-black smoky on pedestrians, bicyclists, children and so forth. Surely this meets the definition of “assault” wouldn’t it? It’s as bad as spitting in someone’s face…
 

 
via Lawyers, Guns & Money

Posted by Martin Schneider | Discussion
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God save the teens: the insane YouTube channel of mall goths Raven and Tara
06.09.2014
09:22 am

Topics:
Amusing
Stupid or Evil?
Thinkers

Tags:
goth
Tara
Raven
Hot Topic

fighiw
 
Raven, Your Acid Bath Princess of the Darkness and her pal Tara are on a goth-lite freakout!
 
Meet the new store-bought modern angst. The truth found herein is something even Marilyn Manson probably couldn’t have predicted. Amazingly, these girls were lucky enough to find each other, their short-lived cohort Azer, and YouTube. And now we can look into their black fishbowl and see what goes on in the deepest recesses of the mall goth’s bedroom. Watching them strangle themselves, bitch each other out and desperately try to lip-sync while losing themselves, busting out with grunts & out of tune screaming is a revelation! Not from The Satanic Bible though, but more from a redecorated-in-black Barbie comic book. Having been in Danzig for a bunch of years, I had met tons of demented teens with good & bad ideas, but this is a whole new thing. I would put money on the fact that Raven, Your Acid Bath Princess of the Darkness and her pal Tara have never heard of The Church of Satan. Anton LaVey’s photo would surely bring a collective “ewwwwwww.” Their taste in music (and their terrible Harry Potter fan fiction) is appalling and their motivation is quite skewed (to me). It’s new! It’s now! It makes no sense! Gotta love it.
 
In this early video that they made with their friend Azer, Mime of Satan’s Bidding (whose father wouldn’t let him be on YouTube, but then didn’t care, so they posted it), we have a perfect introduction to our new “serious as death” friends:
 

 
If they weren’t so young & so real it could be a Saturday Night Live sketch, but as much as I don’t get their motivation, I love how happy and in-the-moment “the darkness” makes them. When they really let go and forget they’re lip-syncing and the grunts of joy burst forth it’s like a cute exorcism.
 
tyrhftd5er
 
“We like” (together) “BEING GOTH! It’s not a hobby, it’s a lifestyle.” Their relatives think Hot Topic is a devil store. “AFI & My Chemical Romance saved my life!” they scream desperately.

Azer, Mime of Satan’s Bidding got caught going into the “prep mall” while they were being goth across the street at Hot Topic, causing his ousting, explained here:
 

 
Death to false goth! Easy come, easy go. See ya Azer, Mime of Satan’s Bidding! These girls are so insane & so funny I just hope that there’s a lot of them out there! Haha! Tara’s mom comes in at one point and tells them to be quiet just before they sing “Hate will kill us all!” Then Raven accuses Tara of stealing her moves. I could watch this all day. Oh, I have! This was all uploaded five, six years ago, so I wonder—what are these two doing now?
 
rugjvers
 
And finally this last message, probably the best video I’ve seen in years, the poignant “A Message To The Haters.”
 

 
Hail Satan.

Posted by Howie Pyro | Discussion
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Exene Cervenka, the Victoria Jackson of punk rock?


What the fuck happened to this woman?

X’s Exene Cervenka seems more than a tad confused these days, based on the evidence of her rambling, paranoiac and just plain stupid YouTube channel and the fact that she’s now referring to the killings in Santa Barbara over the weekend as being a “hoax” on her Twitter feed—it’s a “gun control” ruse, don’tcha know?

Cervenka’s First Amendment right to make a complete and utter fucking laughingstock out of herself is indisputable—last time I checked, this was still America—but I can’t imagine that the other members of X think this is all that hilariously funny. (Consider what having to tour with this hillbilly nincompoop must be like, always wanting to listen to Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage on the radio).

Some of her fans seem unwilling to believe Cervenka could be this big of a fuckwit and are sticking up for her, saying this must be some kind of Andy Kaufman-esque “performance art.” Bullshit, she’s just an ugly human being. Fuck you, Exene. People died and you’re spreading batshit crazy conspiracy theories on the level of Alex Jones. You should be ashamed of yourself, lady, but these days, you don’t even seem acquainted enough with reality itself to fully comprehend why.
 
Exene is a fucking idiot
 
Previously on Dangerous Minds:
X marks the Conspiracy Theory: Exene Cervenka, the new Alex Jones?

Thank you Rich Lindsay!

Posted by Richard Metzger | Discussion
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Loony rightwinger wants to criminalize homosexuality and adultery; ban rock music

nasusennaetihw.jpg
 
We’re living in strange days when every nutjob, krank and bigot thinks it a great idea to run for public off and air their poisonous views. Worse still is when these people believe they are sanctioned by some personal religious faith or aggrieved political agenda. Have our educational systems failed so badly that people grow-up to have nothing between their ears but inherited hatreds and delusional superstitions?

The latest political wannabe that fits the profile is Susan-Anne White, who is standing as an Independent candidate in the council elections for Fermanagh and Omagh district of Northern Ireland. At first, she may seem innocent enough, until you read some of the horrendous shite coming out of her mouth.

Ms. White co-writes a blog “The Truth Shall Set You Free” (really?) with Francis White (most likely her husband?) which they describe as follows:

In a Politically Correct society, the first casualty is truth. The media in its various forms are willing accomplices in the suppression of the truth. This blog represents the great Christian fight-back. Our targets will be Marxism/socialism, which has spawned Feminism, P.C., the green agenda, the ugliness and vulgarity that masquerades as “art”, and the moral collapse of society. We will not ignore politics either, nor the dangerous equality agenda, nor yet multiculturalism.

As Bible-believing Christians, we will also turn our attention to the tragic compromise and downgrade of so many once-sound fundamentalist, Evangelical churches.

It is our intention to cast the salt of the Word of God into the corrupt fountains all around.

Susan-Anne and Francis White.

(I’d include the link, but don’t want to give these people too much free publicity…)

White’s salt-casting election manifesto is based on ten “principles” drawn up by Norwich-based Dr. Alan Clifford (this man’s a doctor?), whose previous anti-gay and anti-Islam rants and pamphlets led to him being investigated by the police. White wants homosexuality criminalized, adultery criminalized and rock groups banned.

Speaking to The Belfast Telegraph, White said:

“I don’t consider myself extreme at all…”

Few extremists do, deary. White he claims she has had positive feedback from voters.

She explained her views on gay people:

“I would – if I had the power – make homosexuality a criminal offence once again. I would also make adultery a criminal offence, so I’m pretty fair in that respect. I think adultery is a terrible sin. Society has fallen to such a low level that most people wouldn’t even bat an eyelid at two men or two women walking hand in hand in the street…

“We believe that we need to be safe from the destructive homosexual agenda…. It (being gay) is portrayed as an alternative lifestyle and they are seeking to normalise it, and it’s being forced on society. It is saturation coverage of the gay agenda and their various demands.”

It’s not just gays and adulterers who would receive the first stone, the “vulgarity” of rock music and even modern poetry are condemned by Susan-Anne White’s tiny mind.

“One only has to think of some of those well-known rock groups from the 1970s and 1980s such as Iron Maiden, Alice Cooper and more recently Kurt Cobain,” she added. “The lyrics are promoting immorality, the noise is deafening, and they also promote anarchy.”

But surely poetry is good for the soul? Apparently not, according to Susan-Anne White:

“Society has been so desensitised to vulgarity and a lack of God-given talent that these people are thought of as great artists and entertainers when they are nothing of the kind,” she continued.

Ms. White might seem to be in need of urgent psychiatric attention, but no, she’s only warming-up, as she explained her concerns over the “Islamification” of Northern Ireland.

“The Islam threat is in the form of halal meat,” she added. “Some Muslims have said that they plan to conquer the world through halal meat, so if you’re asking me is Islam a threat in Co Tyrone, then yes, it is.”

Of course, the big question was kept till the end, when reporter Adrian Rutherford asked White if she seriously believed she would get elected?

“I think the likelihood is slim but I consider it a privilege to be able to highlight these matters door to door.”

Ms. White plans to form her own party, SAFE (Society And Family Enterprise party), which will be based on Dr. Clifford’s principles.

Below, a crank call gets made to Dr. Alan Clifford…

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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The lamp that spies on you and tweets your conversation
04.24.2014
07:11 am

Topics:
Science/Tech
Stupid or Evil?

Tags:
Conversnitch

gubecived.jpg
 
Are we now so blasé with our privacy that we think it cool to have a lamp that eavesdrops on our conversations and Tweets random bon mots to the public? This is the question artists Brian House and Kyle McDonald claim they are asking with their listening device Conversnitch, which covertly records conversations and then posts extracts online.

Conversnitch uses a Raspberry Pi mini computer, a microphone, an LED, and a plastic flower pot to spy on us. The bugging device can fit into any standard bulb socket, and transmit any conversation taking place nearby directly to Amazon’s Mechanical Turk crowdsourcing service, where they are transcribed and interesting snippets extracted, which are then posted onto the Conversnitch Twitter feed.

Here’s how House & McDonald describe their product:

Conversnitch is a small device that automatically tweets overheard conversations, bridging the gap between (presumed) private physical space and public space online.

Information moves between spaces that might be physical or virtual, free or proprietary, illegal or playful, spoken or transcribed.

Yep, we all know our governments can and do listen into our private conversations, store our email and keep tabs on us, and House & McDonald probably think they are doing something quite radical to make us examine all of this invasion of privacy. Personally, I think these guys have created a gimmick to draw attention to themselves, and three cheers for that. But more troublingly, they are probably just making it slightly more acceptable for our privacy to be invaded whether by governments, businesses, Google, Facebook or even your local neighborhood hipster, and that’s not edgy. Conversnitch is not making governments more accountable or businesses more ethical, it’s making the public more vulnerable, and ultimately more oppressed.
 

 
Via Slate

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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‘Heaven Is For Real’ kid’s interview on Fox News is COMEDY GOLD


 

Sean Hannity: Do you think everybody goes to Heaven?

Colton Burpo: Um…. No. Not everybody does go to Heaven.

Sean Hannity: How do you know?

Colton Burpo, the little boy who had an NDE on an operating table a few years back and claimed to have been to Heaven, has had his experiences “there” recounted in several Heaven is for Real books that have sold like hotcakes to people desperate to believe they will live forever in the Kingdom of Heaven, eternally youthful, kickin’ it with their homeboy Jesus C. and all the dead people they ever knew.

Watch this clip of Colton promoting his parents’ books (his dad is a minister and radio broadcaster, natch) and a major Hollywood film about to come out based on this fiction. From where I’m sitting it seems rather obvious that this kid is lying through his teeth and Sean Hannity is just too stupid not to uncritically believe every word of it.

This is truly remarkable, Marjoe Gortner-level hoodoo nonsense. Even by the admittedly sad standards of Fox News, this is riveting in its abject stupidity…

Colton Burpo: Heaven is… such an amazing place and… and you just want to be there for a long time. I mean, I didn’t wanna come back.

Sean Hannity: What’s the difference… in other words, what did you see? What did you feel? Who did you meet?

Colton Burpo: Well, I saw a lot of stuff… In Heaven there are a lot of colors, but there’s even more than we have down here on Earth. Also I got to meet my great grandpa and my sister who was miscarriaged and… it just feels like home.

Hannity: And she came up to you? Are you there physically or spiritually?

Colton Burpo: You are there physically. You do have your own body.

Hannity: You were there in your body?

Colton Burpo: Well, not my earthly body, they were working on my earthly body.

Hannity: It’s the same? You look the same, relatively speaking?

Colton Burpo: Relatively speaking. If you die an old man or an old woman, you’ll be in your prime, like your late 20s, early 30s.

Hannity: And you say that you met Jesus Christ and God. (Colton nods) Can you describe God and Jesus Christ?

Colton Burpo: Well, Jesus was more like the humanoid version. He’s the one you can relate to because he… loves you so much and he’s actually your size, so you can like walk with him and talk with him.

Hannity: And you talked with him?

Colton Burpo: Yes.

Hannity: And he talked to you?

Colton Burpo: Yes.

Hannity: What did he say?

Colton Burpo: Well, I can’t remember what all it was that we talked about because some of it he even taught me! God has not allowed me to remember what Jesus has taught me.

Hannity: You saw God?

It just gets worse—and even more painfully funny—from there…

You can easily see why Hannity’s audience would eat this shit up, because it sounds exactly like something they already believe. Of course every mean old Archie Bunker watching Fox News will be young again in Heaven. Forever and ever! Throw away that Viagra! No need for it in Heaven, you’ll be 30 again soon, dude…

This is why there needs to a separation between church and state: America is a country full to the bursting point with idiots.
 

 
Via Christian Nightmares

Posted by Richard Metzger | Discussion
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The truth about Joseph Stalin’s half-man, half-ape super army
03.26.2014
03:13 pm

Topics:
Science/Tech
Stupid or Evil?

Tags:
Mad Scientists

sepaelttab111.jpg
 
In December 2005, The Scotsman newspaper published a story about “Stalin’s half-man, half-ape super-warriors”:

THE Soviet dictator Josef Stalin ordered the creation of Planet of the Apes-style warriors by crossing humans with apes, according to recently uncovered secret documents.

Moscow archives show that in the mid-1920s Russia’s top animal breeding scientist, Ilya Ivanov, was ordered to turn his skills from horse and animal work to the quest for a super-warrior.

According to Moscow newspapers, Stalin told the scientist: “I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat.”

In 1926 the Politburo in Moscow passed the request to the Academy of Science with the order to build a “living war machine”. The order came at a time when the Soviet Union was embarked on a crusade to turn the world upside down, with social engineering seen as a partner to industrialisation: new cities, architecture, and a new egalitarian society were being created.

The Scotsman must have thought they had uncovered one of Soviet Russia’s darkest secrets. The article went on to detail how Stalin financed a scientist Doctor Ivanoff with $200,000 to find out if it was possible to create a human-ape hybrid, the “Humanzee.” 

In order to do this, Ivanoff decided he had to impregnate chimpanzees with human sperm. With assistance from the Pasteur Institute, Ivanoff was able to use their primate facility in Conakry, Guinea to carry out his experiments. It was in 1926, Ivanoff had three chimpanzees artificially impregnated at the facility. However, the experiment failed.

Back in Russia, Ivanoff decided to impregnate Russian women with ape sperm. A “Woman G” was set to be impregnated with orangutan sperm, but the donor ape (called “Tarzan”) died, and the experiment was canceled. In one of Stalin’s political purges, Ivanoff was removed form office, and died not longer after.

However, as explained in this documentary on the “Humanzee,” Ivanoff was not creating a hybrid ape army, but was attempting to discredit religious belief in creationism. For Ivanoff hoped his experiments in cross-fertilization would prove (once and for all) the evolutionary theory that man came from apes.

The documentary tends to errs on the more sensationalist aspects of this story before hurriedly tying-up the true story of the “Humanzee.” It also includes the tale of Xena, a “hairy woman,” believed to be a seven-foot-tall “abanu,” or ape-human; and the very disturbing Doctor Moreau-like experiments of Doctor Robert White, who transplanted a living monkey head onto another monkey’s dead body in 1970.
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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World’s angriest lady tries to justify driving 70 MPH in a 35 MPH zone during her test drive
03.23.2014
08:39 am

Topics:
Amusing
Hysteria
Stupid or Evil?

Tags:
Angry people


 
A poor car dealership salesman takes a wild test drive with one extremely irate woman. Her “reasoning” for being such an a-hole is er, something else.

There are a lot of F-bombs dropped here, so you may want to wear some headphones if you’re at work.

 
Via reddit

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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A capella heavy metal will incinerate the tyranny of talent and set the world free to rock
02.18.2014
10:20 am

Topics:
Amusing
Music
Stupid or Evil?

Tags:
EyeSea
Dokaka
Jud Jud


 
Despite the brave and noble efforts of the iconoclastic naifs espousing punk’s anyone-can-play ethos, almost all music still remains captive ‘neath the omnipowerful thumb of the instrumentally and compositionally adequate. But this hegemonic stranglehold of the modicum-of-talent nazis does not go unchallenged. In the underbelly of heavy metal—a genre whose tradition for shredding solos unfairly excludes the totally giftless from giving life to their creative visions unless they play bass—a visionary movement is emerging that defies the ironfisted rule of able craft by doing away with instruments.
 

 
First, there were the onomatopoetic godfathers Jud Jud. Formed by members of Assück and Murder-Suicide Pact, their instruments were their voices, “Left Jud” and “Right Jud.” Accordingly, you’ll want to bust out the headphones for this (and maybe a little ganj, bruh), as there are MINDBLOWING STEREO TRICKS. Just because you’re not playing anything doesn’t mean you can’t like totally explore the studio as an instrument, man.
 

Jud Jud—”Fast Song”
 

Jud Jud—”Wah Wah Song”
 
There’s a pigpile of free Jud Jud MP3s at WFMU’s blog. Go getcha some.
 

 
The next artist to come along and smash the tyranny of capability was the Japanese master Dokaka. Though not strictly a metal artist, his completely awesome re-interpretations of metal classics utterly shame the instrumentally apt original artists with the steely-eyed determination of the outsider with something to prove.
 

Dokaka—”Angel of Death” (Slayer)
 

Dokaka—”The Trooper” (Iron Maiden)

But lo, on the horizon, an upstart! Jud Jud and Dokaka have taken aim at the cruelly despotic autocracy of having what it takes by substituting scat vocals for instrumental beds, and they’ve even spawned some pale imitations, but via Music For Maniacs, we learn of the brutal emergence of Blue Tapes’ recording artists EyeSea, who eschew even that:

EyeSea’s “blue ten” is an entire album of Cookie Monster vocals going ‘rowr rowr rowr’, screams, and silences. And they don’t cheat by sneaking in other sounds - there really are no other instruments.  Are they even “singing” in English, or is this a guy clearing his throat for 22 minutes?

LISTEN UPON THESE WORKS, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR.
 

 

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Discussion
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The most racist preacher in America?


 
Is Brother Donny Reagan of the Happy Valley Church of Jesus Christ in Johnson City, Tennessee, the “most racist pastor in America”? This is what The American Jesus blog is wondering. Surely he’s one of the dumbest.

Brother Reagan begins his remarks in the video below by informing his congregation that he is probably “going to make some people mad.” He’s apparently not self-aware enough to realize that some other people are going to simply point and laugh at him, but I believe it’s safe to say that self-awareness is not a quality the good Lord bestowed upon Donny boy here in any appreciable amount.

“Today we have so much fussing and stewing about this segregation of white and colored and everything. Why don’t they leave it alone? Let it be the way God made it.”

Wait, what?

“There is a move in the message, of blacks marrying whites, whites marrying blacks. And folks think that is alright, but you know, my God still has nationalities outside the city.’

“Nationalities outside the city”! I LOL’d at that line. Brother Donny’s congregation, clearly consisting of low IQ buffoons like himself, shout “Amen!” as Reagan reads from his prepared remarks. I wonder how these intellectually challenged folks vote, don’t you? [Me, neither, that doesn’t even qualify as a rhetorical question does it?]

“Hybreeding, hybreeding, oh how terrible. They hybreed the people. You know it’s a big molding pot. I’ve got hundreds of precious colored friends that’s borned again Christians. But on this line of segregation, hybreeding the people. What, tell me what fine cultured, fine Christian colored woman would want her baby to be a mulatto by a white man? No sir, it’s not right.”

At 2:19, Brother Donny makes an honest admission:

“Now friends I’m not very smart.”

Um, that’s right you inbred cracker fuck calling for MORE INBREEDING!!!!

DNA doesn’t work that way, Bro.

Dumb Donny goes on to say:

“If God wanted a man brown, black, white, whatever color he wanted him, that God’s creation. That’s the way he wanted it.”

Uh, you heard the man… As the Firesign Theater once said “Good lord, a stiff idiot is the worst kind.”
 

 
Via Christian Nightmares

Posted by Richard Metzger | Discussion
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