How long will it take—how many decades, how many more centuries if we’re really unlucky—before the Christianity virus just completely and utterly burns itself out? At what point will there just simply be no more use for it and we’ll all just give up the (holy) ghost once and for all, call it a day AND MOVE ON?
I don’t have a prediction to make about that—Voltaire, who died in 1778, once wrote that he thought religion would die out in twenty years time—but I can say with some assurance (and even gratitude!) that idiot Palm Springs-based televangelist Joshua Mills is doing his very best to make people shake their heads in DISBELIEF and walk out of the church, hopefully never to return. Mills has claimed in the past that God can whiten teeth better than dentists and remove wrinkles better than Botox.
Here on the Internet talk show, It’s Supernatural with Sid Roth, Mills relates the story of how God covered him in glitter in an elevator in Toronto. Three onlookers in the elevator were saved before the doors even opened again. But best of all, they reenact this “anointing”! Hilarity ensues! Sid makes George Noory seem skeptical and it’s too bad that they didn’t have Mills play himself, that was really a missed opportunity if you ask me.
Everything that’s bleak about the modern world is wrapped-up like a perfect, little package with these illustrations by London-based artist and animator, Steve Cutts. Rampant consumerism. Shitty jobs. Environmental devastation. Disinformation. Nonsense. Billionaire psychopaths. Overcrowded cities—all present and accounted for. We’ve featured Cutts’ work here on DM before with his dark animation about the current lives of ‘80s cartoon characters.
If a picture paints a thousand words, these pieces are Molotov cocktails for the mind.
There’s a metalhead in the jury box of the Aurora mass shooting trial and the news is on it!
Colorado’s News 9 reports that an alternate juror in the mass murder trial against James Holmes wore a Metallica Ride The Lightning t-shirt which may have been in violation of a court order banning display of clothing which may influence the jury.
Neither the judge nor lawyers appeared to notice the shirt worn by juror 983, which features bolts of lightning hitting an empty electric chair on the front and the skeletal remains of a prisoner being electrocuted on the back side.
Judge Carlos Samour has “strictly prohibited” from his courtroom the “display of insignias, symbols, pictures, clothing, or any other items that may influence the jury” in an order that appears on a laminated placard in front of every spectator seat in court.
Since the matter was never brought up on the record Thursday, we don’t know whether the judge would have found the attire in violation of his order.
On Thursday, the 12 deliberating jurors delivered a verdict on aggravating factors, the first of three possible phases in the death penalty sentencing hearing.
Juror 983, who has sported heavy-metal themed tees in court before, is not on the panel of 12, but could be called on to deliberate if a juror should be excused for any reason.
The Metallica track “Ride The Lightning” is written from the point of view of a prisoner awaiting death by electrocution. According to James Hetfield, the song “was not a criticism of capital punishment, which I’m actually a supporter of. Rather, it’s simply about a man who faces death in the electric chair for a crime he didn’t commit.”
We’re guessing Juror 983 didn’t put that much thought into it.
Donald Trump’s anti-Mexican comments have made him few (no?) friends in America’s Hispanic community. In fact, I think it’s fair to say that other than a few Fox News-watching racist Republican trolls, his (unfounded) remarks seem low, vile and ridiculous to just about everyone. He’s a silly, grotesque man, full of himself and… he’s just a shithead. Fuck Donald Trump.
No… fuck his hair.
5 Rabbit Cerveceria is a Chicago-area microbrewery that had been supplying the signature beer for the ritzy Rebar in Chicago’s Trump Tower. The owners are Latino and have decided to sever ties with the loathsome billionaire. Now the Trump brew they had left over has been renamed “Chinga Tu Pelo”—which translates as “Fuck your hair”—in honor of the GOP Presidential and loudmouthed comb-over casualty.
5 Rabbit Cerveceria co-owner Andres Araya told WBEZ radio:
“We would be doing an injustice to the community we serve (and live in) by engaging in business with someone who does not accept our role in society and expresses a rhetoric of hate and ignorance towards us,” Araya wrote in a statement to WBEZ Monday.
“On a personal level, if I did, one of the things that scares me the most is sending the wrong message to my daughters. We are active members of this immigrant community and we need to stand up for ourselves, and more importantly, for those who do not have the voice or means to do so. The very foundation of the United States of America was built on acceptance and inclusion. That is what drew us here, and that´s what why we feel so strongly about this.”
“As a company, an integral part of our vision reads that we are ‘not only based in, but also look to promote a strong and positive image of Latin America, its heritage and people.’
It would be hypocritical of us to sustain the relationship.”
Right on! Chinga that moron’s pelo!
The giant mattress company Serta yesterday announced that it too would be severing ties with the GOP’s lumbering, out of control Frankenstein monster. Recently NBC and Univision both dumped their ties with the toxic Trump brand.
This self-immolation—Trump’s moronic inferno—is spectacular to watch, but I DO hope the thick-fingered vulgarian makes it to the first Republican debate in August and beyond. Look at how much damage he’s done to himself in such a short time and just imagine what he can do for the GOP!
Students of Internet culture know all about “Rule 34.” Rule 34 is an adage which asserts that “if something exists, there is porn of it.”
We can now add Charles Manson and his “family” to the list of things we didn’t expect to see given the porn treatment, but HERE WE ARE.
Adult Video News recently reported on the release of Manson Family XXX, an adult film directed by Will Ryder.
A TMZ report from last year reveals that Sharon Tate’s sister, Debra Tate, called Manson Family XXX “the lowest of lows” and vowed to sue the producers if they dared use Sharon’s name or likeness. As the film falls under the umbrella of “parody,” it is protected speech. Tasteless, but nevertheless protected.
Director Will Ryder stated, “The timing couldn’t be more perfect and we’ve had to put the brakes on this release for a while now due to certain legal challenges that I don’t want to talk about, but NBC is paving the way for us to have a summer blockbuster,” referring to NBC’s recently-premiered Aquarius, a “historical fiction” program based on the events surrounding the Manson Family.
Director, Ryder, claims his film explores “hippie love and intense sexual acts that took place at the Spahn Ranch near Los Angeles back in the late 1960s.”
“We actually shot much of our movie on that very land,” Ryder said.
Ryder added that his movie is a parody and “not sponsored, endorsed or affiliated with Charles Manson or any members of the Manson Family, the victims, the LAPD, Vincent Bugliosi or the Los Angeles district attorney’s office, NBC Universal or any distributors, actors, producers, writers, publishers, their estates or assignees.”
Best to cover your bases.
We have to admit, the scenes in the trailer seem like they could kinda be historically accurate. Group sex and heavy drug use were undoubtedly facts of “family life” on the Spahn Ranch.
Ryder seems to have at least convinced himself that his parody porn is a tasteful historical document of the Family:
I have to make myself clear that I am in no way glorifying murder and neither is NBC Television or any of the other mainstream production companies that are in production on Manson related projects.
We are telling parts of the Manson Family folklore just like the writers and producers of dozens of books, movies and television documentaries have told over the years. We’re just going to see them completely naked participating in all kinds of sexual exploration including wild animalistic group sex.
Here’s the pretty-much-safe-for-work trailer for “Manson Family XXX”:
I hate these shoes. I mean, I really hate them. I know it’s totally irrational—not to mention a big ole waste of time—to homicidally hate on these specific shoes with such venom, but just look at these fucking things and tell me you don’t feel the same way? Why? Why? And WHY?
Perhaps I’m in the minority here and you, dear Dangerous Minds reader, simply must have a pair. Scotty Franklin of Springfield, Missouri, customizes people’s personal boots and turns them into, er, these for $50. Fuck you, Scotty.
With the Supreme Court hearing arguments today on gay marriage, it seemed like the perfect time to post this extended trailer from Light Wins, a goofball anti-gay rights documentary produced by Janet Porter, who is a weekly columnist for WorldNetDaily and the author of the demurely titled book, The Criminalization of Christianity (Gee, I wonder what that’s about?). Porter is a believer in “dominion” theology, the idea that Christians are duty bound to wrest complete control from non-believers over every aspect of political life. To bring about the return of Christ, of course!
I absolutely could spend the next 45 minutes coming up with all manner of insulting epithets and nasty things to say about the fucking idiots—including GOP presidential contenders Mike Huckabee and Rand Paul—who took part in this… thing—and it might even be fun, but it would also be utterly pointless. These people discredit themselves and the American/Republican form of Christianity they practice with every second of their onscreen time. It’s wall-to-wall DUMB. They don’t need me, or anyone else, to point out how ridiculous they are.
But I will say this: If you could go back in time to the Salem witch trials and do a documentary about what happened, it would be assholes just like David Barton, Louie Gohmert and Phyllis Schlafly who would be clamoring to inflict their stupidity on your audience (luckily they can’t burn anybody at the stake in these more enlightened times.). Clearly these folks do not realize how much they BOOST the cause of gay civil rights EVERY TIME they open their mouths! Not like there’s a snowball’s chance in Hell that level of self-awareness would shut any of ‘em up, I’m just sayin’...
Phil Robertson, thinking…
Yep. If these people are what America’s version of Christianity sees as its moral leaders… in a sense, all I can say is “Hey… great!” Ten years ago, it used to be that the sight of someone like Tony Perkins on TV made me steaming mad, but the distance from the Bush administration to today seems very, very vast. Today Perkins is scarcely even shown respect on these shows, just last weekend, Bob Schieffer (who’s retiring and hilariously called it exactly like he saw it) took careful pains to make sure that the Face the Nation viewership knew that he just didn’t like this guy very much or have any respect for him. At one point Tony Perkins and his icky ilk held the power, now he and they, just look like yesterday’s bigots.
Light Wins, of course, casts this matter as a fight of good against evil. In doing so, it makes itself the perfect unintentional time capsule of the moment we’re living in. No really, it sums up everything about America at this pivotal moment in our history, not just the gay civil rights and persecuted Christianist angles, but how America truly is turning into two nations. Not a Christian vs. secular nation, or merely conservative vs. liberals either. It’s something greater than that, what I like to think of as “the Great IQ stratification.” Smart people vs. dumb people. What’s really going on is becoming starkly obvious at this point, don’t you think?
The participants in Light Wins will not be seen very kindly by history and no one in it is ever going to become President, either.
In the mid ‘70s a whole slew of World War Two-themed sexploitation films were churned out (most coming from Italy) in the wake of the highly successful Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS. Most of the films, typical ‘70s softcore porn pieces with swastika-sporting actors, followed the standard “women in prison” film formula—the locale having been transferred to the Nazi death camps and field brothels. In Italy these films are known as part of the “il sadiconazista” cycle, the bulk of which were influenced as much by Ilsa as they were by three controversial Italian art-house films: Liliana Cavani’s The Night Porter, Tinto Brass’ Salon Kitty and Passolini’s Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom. The entire genre can be traced back to 1969 when Bob Cresse and Lee Frost created the depraved “roughie,” Love Camp 7, which set the standard for all others to follow.
The SS-ploitation film-makers had discovered that it was far easier to get violently sexual situations past the censors if they were presented within the context of being based on the historical facts of Nazi war atrocities. Of course, none of these films had any interest whatsoever in being historically accurate. The producers were making bank by exploiting 1970s movie audiences’ craving for weirder and wilder psycho-sexual delights and justifying it all as supposed statements against war crimes. Producer Dave Friedman (under the pseudonym Herman Traeger) put this written notice in the first shot of Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS:
“The film you are about to see is based on documented fact. The atrocities shown were conducted as ‘medical experiments’ in special concentration camps throughout Hitler’s Third Reich. Although these crimes against humanity are historically accurate, the characters depicted are composites of notorious Nazi personalities; and the events portrayed, have been condensed into one locality for dramatic purposes. Because of its shocking subject matter, this film is restricted to adult audiences only. We dedicate this film with the hope that these heinous crimes will never happen again.”
These films pushed the boundaries of bad taste to their lowest limit.
It’s difficult to pin down the continued appeal of these films. Any first year psychology student could interpret these films’ appeal in relation to dominance and submission, bondage fetish, rape fantasy, or basic misogyny. The likely fundamental appeal for many viewers is simply the fact that a whole slew of beautiful women get naked frequently. For others, the appeal of a film like Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS stems from the audacity of the images and the bad taste campiness of the acting and direction.
One thing is certain, these blatant exercises in cinematic depravity make no apologies and force their contents upon the viewer on their own moral terms. Unquestionably, the majority of these films are in the poorest of possible taste, yet they present material in a manner which pulls no punches—a spectacle which would never fly in today’s age of obsessive outrage. These films blur the lines between good and evil when they present Nazi atrocities in a manner that may not only repulse, but also spark the prurient interest of the viewer. To most, the thought of this is an absolutely unacceptable identification with the films’ antagonists, yet there can be a very fine psychological line between repulsion and titillation—and as such, for some, these films hold a certain power, if not vulgar charm. There are those out there who simply worship outrageous schlock, and some that just want to see a pair of boobs jiggle across the screen, and still others who are truly sick, deranged perverts. For better or worse (probably worse), there’s an audience for this shit.
A top ten list of Nazi sexploitation depravity after the jump…
Just so it’s clear, there really was a Chipmunk Punk, a 1980 project of Ross Bagdasarian, Jr., the namesake son of the Chipmunks’ creator. It was not particularly “punk”—it contained Alvin and the Chipmunks’ cover versions of songs by opposite-of-punk artists like Billy Joel, Tom Petty, Linda Ronstadt, Queen, and for some reason THREE SONGS by the Knack. The entirety of the LP’s New Wave representation was supplied by Blondie’s “Call Me” and the Cars’ “Let’s Go.” It was stupid as hell, but I liked it. Because I was 10 years old. Bagdasarian followed the successful cash-in with Urban Chipmunk, a collection of squeaky-voiced pop country covers, and Chipmunk Rock, which at least had a version of “Whip It” going for it, but by then, I was like 12, and much too sophisticated for such juvenilia.
And again, so it’s clear, what follows was NOT actually on Chipmunk Punk, so if you go buying that album expecting to hear it, well, something’s possibly wrong with you anyway. California’s smartassy theatrical comedy band Radioactive Chicken Heads recorded an amusing-as-far-as-this-sort-of-thing-goes Chipmunkified version of Suicidal Tendencies’ definitive song, 1983’s “Institutionalized.” I’d hope it should go without saying that the possibility of this actually being a product of anyone officially connected with the evidently deathless Chipmunks franchise is a few leagues beneath unlikely. Whether it’s better or worse than Ice-T’s recent effort at updating the song is a debate I’ll leave to others.
Many moons ago, a friend of mine, who shall remain nameless (unless you bother scrolling to the very bottom of this post), had a brief stretch of working in a relatively upscale Mexican restaurant in midtown Manhattan. Although she was super broke at the time and desperately needed the job, there was the matter of the uniform… an oversized poncho.
It greatly offended her sense of style, not to mention her dignity, but at least, I told her, they’re not making you wear a sombrero and a droopy moustache like the Frito Bandito...
The concept of the “droopy” became a one-word catalyst that sees the two of us completely crack up whenever the other mentions it. One of those things, I suppose you had to be there, but I was reminded of this anecdote by finding out recently about the existence of the curious Jewish “theme” restaurant Pid Zolotoyu Rozoyu (“Under the Golden Rose”) restaurant in L’viv, Ukraine for reasons which are about to become quite obvious…
The restaurant itself is located next to the ruins of what had been the 350-year-old Golden Rose synagogue that was destroyed by the Nazis with several Jews inside of it (150,000 Jews died in the L’viv ghetto during World War II). While you nosh on gefilte fish, pickled herring and matzoh ball soup, they will give you wool hats to wear with payot (curly side-locks worn by Hassidim) attached. Perhaps you’d like to enjoy the house drink, “The Funny Jew.” There are no prices on the menu, guests are expected to haggle with the waitstaff over the prices, and one might presume “jew them down.”
Such fun! Such biddy biddy bum!
The spot is one of fifteen so-called “emotional restaurants” owned by a company called !Fest who operate theme restaurants pertaining to such things as sadomasochism (Café Masoch‘s namesake, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, was born in L’viv) with kinky outfits on the wait staff, plus whips and chains; Kryjivka—which claims to be the single most visited restaurant in all of Europe, with one million annual covers—built in the bunker of the last hiding place of the ultranationalist Ukrainian Insurgent Army (the password for entrance is “Glory to Ukraine” although “ethnic cleansing” probably would have sufficed); as well as an execution-themed charcuterie, replete with fine meats and a guillotine for just that right cut of meat… There is even an !Fest restaurant with a Freemasonry theme that has a special “throne” in the men’s room.
The crazy thing is, if you look at the !Fest enterprise as a whole, it doesn’t really appear that anti-Semitism per se is on the menu at Pid Zolotoyu Rozoyu. They obviously like to court controversy, and of course, it’s easy to argue that this is incredibly tacky, but the attitude of the owners—three guys in their late 20s/early 30s who have probably never even met a real Jew—seem to be that it’s “educational” and “historical” and that they’re simply running a cheeky tourist attraction. Few of L’viv’s remaining Jews tend to see it that way.
Thank you kindly Oberon Sinclair and Andrew Deutsch!