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Scott Walker is pissing himself, should win a special political Darwin Award!

This is THE BEST: Hapless Wisconsin governor Scott Walker wants people who protest his administration to pay for their First Amendment rights! He even wants them to post a bond in advance. I thought Walker’s big hero was union-buster Ronald Reagan? Turns out it’s Il Duce!

This fuckin’ guy is—clearly—on an all out political suicide mission. How else could one possibly process the following news, as reported yesterday morning in the Milwaukee Wisconsin Journal-Sentinel?

Move aside, Herman Cain, it’s Scott Walker who is the real “Andy Kaufman” of the Republican party:

Gov. Scott Walker’s administration could hold demonstrators at the Capitol liable for the cost of extra police or cleanup and repairs after protests, under a new policy unveiled Thursday.

The rules, which several legal experts said raised serious free speech concerns, seemed likely to add to the controversy that has simmered all year over demonstrations in the state’s seat of government.

The policy, which also requires permits for events at the statehouse and other state buildings, took effect Thursday and will be phased in by Dec. 16. Walker administration officials contend the policy simply clarifies existing rules.

State law already says public officials may issue permits for the use of state facilities, and applicants “shall be liable to the state . . . for any expense arising out of any such use and for such sum as the managing authority may charge for such use.”

But Edward Fallone, an associate professor at Marquette University Law School, said the possibility of charging demonstrators for police costs might be problematic because some groups might not be able to afford to pay.

“I’m a little skeptical about charging people to express their First Amendment opinion,” he said. “You can’t really put a price tag on the First Amendment.”

Well, this fascist doofus already has: $50 an hour per member of the Capitol Police, or whatever it costs for freelance security, plus clean-up details!

I mean… WHAT?!??! This is laugh-out-loud hilarious for this idiot-faced goober to think he could get away with this! Of course it’s only had the effect of incensing the unions... and REALLY turning off the people who were undecided about Walker!

My god is this man a loathsome buffoon… but more power to ‘im, I sez!

Give Walker enough rope and he’s going to take down the entire Republican party in the state with him! This stiff won’t even be able to back-peddle away from this in any way, shape or form. He’s so screwed it’s just… superb!

Bonus douchebaggery: Tonight Walker is going to light the Christmas tree in the WI capitol that was put up with prison labor instead of hiring union workers. Let’s hope that tonight Walker enjoys his first—and last—time lighting the tree,

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
‘Useful Idiot’: Herman Cain really IS as dumb as he seems!
10:24 am

Stupid or Evil?


And here is the proof: The Women for Cain website.

Barbara Dayan of Nimcompoop Nipomo, CA (supposedly) writes:

Dear Mrs. Cain Don’t pay attention to these pathetic husbandless women who are jealous of women like you in happy long-term marriages. These vindictive women can’t find a husband or keep one. They are like stalkers who try to latch on to any man who shows a bit of kindness or attention to them. When these unstable women come out of the woodwork to make accusations about Herman just say, “Honey, get a life, I believe my husband.” We want you to be our First Lady Mrs. Cain!”

Does this “Barbara Dayan” really exist? Or did Cain or that smoking guy weirdo write this?

This CAN’T be from a real woman!  Women see right through this guy. EVERYONE does!

That’s even a stock photo image of the four women!

Here’s another winner, supposedly from a “Robin Haraway” of Millington, TX.

“Sir, I firmly believe that you were sent to our nation through Divine Providence and I believe that you are the man to preserve our Republic for our children. Remember, you have overcome many adversities in your life. You have pulled yourself up by your bootstraps through sheer determination and honesty. You were delivered from cancer. My prayers are for strength and guidance for you and your beautiful family this weekend.

This one might be real, though. It’s from Adrienne (Caos) Sinclair, of, as she calls it: “CALIFORNIA, CA”

“Dear Mr Cain many years ago I find this not so unique for christians I knew a man Charles in died at 54 i knew him and and his wife and they were beautiful from the heart christians. at one point in my live i was going to lose my home and well he heard about it, so me at Maass and told me Adrinne I want you to go down to the bank Monday and there wil be a check for 40.000 dollars. I told him I dont know how in the world i would pay it back and he just said don.t worry you are young and you have your whole live to pass a blessing on to someone else, At any rate he died at 54 of a heart attack and when I went to the funeral I was not surprised to see at least 500 or more people at his funeral and I went up to his wife and she told me has helped so many people his whole life and I looked in those green eyes with flowing tears and I said I was one of those people! she looked at me and just hugged me and said you know he would always keep his giving between God and himself, I said yes not for others to see. That was a long time ago and it is funny and it is so normal men who have that kind of heart, My dad would give a waitress 100 dollar tips and I just thought since I was a child that was normal, giving unconditional that is true Christianity and I get Herman Cain and A president who will save the Republic, I wish there are more Herman Cains they don’t show up at big benefits they give and only God can see, that is real to me,,, yes and I have had a life where I can give even when it hurt to women men children, that was a good lesson to learn where only God can see.”

Posted: December 2, 2011 at 2:23 am

Talk about setting yourself up for a spectacular fall. Cain is one Republican hypocrite who does not disappoint! His preposterously rampant egomania is starting to look like clinical insanity. He’s got no one but himself to blame. What a profoundly idiotic man!

This one is almost heart-breaking. Almost!

Debbie Stevens-Paulsen, TULSA, OK

“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Cain, I want you to know that I fully support you! I’ve sent $9.99 several times, and will continue to do so every chance I get. I wish I could do more! I’m “reassessing” my Christmas List… instead of buying misc $10 gifts for people I barely know anyway, I’m sending all that money to you. YOU are who this country needs. Please don’t let the opposition win, they are vile liars and will face God for what they’ve done to you. How can We the People choose who WE want (you!) if you allow them to run you off? Gingrich has DONE all the things they’re accusing you of, and Romney is a RINO.. we call him Obama Lite. PLEASE don’t give up. Speak up loud and clear that you are not giving up, and please let Gloria speak out again. I’ll admit that when I heard that you sent $ to a woman w/out your wife knowing, it gave me pause.. I wouldn’t appreciate my hubby sending $ to another woman w/out my approval… but then I thought about and discussed it with everyone I know. We came to the conclusion that you’re a good man worth the benefit of the doubt. We figure that you’re probably a very busy man who comes in contact w/ tons of people daily, and that you probably both have friends the other isn’t friends with, and that you have helped other people, men and women, without discussing it, because that’s just what you do, you’re a softie (stop that now!) and got taken advantage of. That happens. I have NO doubts about you after thinking and praying about it. If Mrs. Cain is OK w/ what you did, I am. Please send her back to Greta again! That’s between you two anyway. Lots of couples have separate money and do what they want with it. That is ok! Don’t give up sir, please. Don’t make me beg! Don’t let the evil conspirators push you out of this race. I have signs, bumper stickers, your Book, I tweet constantly about you (@FoxieNews) and share everything I can about you and your plan to help America. I support you 100%. Please say you’ll press on and get back to actual campaigning! Don’t play their games anymore.. gloves OFF time! God bless you, your wife and family, and your staff always. Happy Holidays!!! .... and 9-9-9!!!!”

Here’s hoping that Herman Cain (and the rest of these GOP no-hopers) stay in the race until the bitter end, soaking up all of those hard-earned reactionary donations. Aside from the laughs, the candidacies of these clowns are an effective way to incinerate perfectly good Republican political donation$:

In this respect, Herman Cain is the literal definition of a useful idiot.

Via Little Green Footballs

UPDATE: Look, they removed the stock phone shot on the Women for Cain website (because they didn’t pay for the license?). Now it reads “Women… Cain”!

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Newt Gingrich tells ‘One Nation Under God’ group: We must take back power from ‘minority elite’

There is probably only but one man in America who seriously believes that Newton Leroy Gingrich could ever become the President of the United States and that one man also happens to be named Newton Leroy Gingrich. The idea that this repulsive, hypocritical turd will ever be in a position of elected power again, is, of course, as ridiculous and as preposterous on the face of it as, well, Gingrich himself. More people loathe him than can tolerate him. He polls about as well as Sarah Palin nationally.

It’s hard to even get worked up or irate when this doofus says things like he says in the below video, to a rightwing Christian audience, because A) he’s a joke, so who cares what this pudgy prick thinks? and B) WHO in their right minds would think electing Newt Gingrich president would be a way to “take back” America from the “minority elites, in the first place, even this audience? That doesn’t make… any sense (As Paul Krugman recently quipped Gingrich is a “stupid man’s idea of what a smart person sounds like.” He went on to add “but he is more plausible than the other guys they’ve been pushing up”! How true, how pithy! How very Idiocracy...)

It’s amazing to contemplate that this universally disliked, self-satisfied “conservative intellectual” is currently the front runner for the GOP nomination. Who’d have thunk this was possible? How low will they go? Bachmann. Perry. Cain. Gingrich? You’re joking, right? Will Sarah Palin jump into the race to “save” the party from these people? Will ole “frothy mix” Rick Santorum get his day in the Republican sun? What about the least influential man in the world, Tim Pawlenty? If Gingrich can rally a comeback, why can’t he? (Imagine being T-Paw and seeing a no-hoper like Gingrich in the cat bird seat. Even it it only lasts a couple of weeks, that’s gotta be pretty galling!)

Don’t get me wrong, it would be fantastic to see Newt get the GOP nod, strictly from the lulz perspective of seeing the Republicans utterly destroyed in a national election, but you’d have to sift through trillions upon trillions of alternate universes to find the one in which the disgusting toad that his pretty blonde “Stepford wife” Calista kissed would turn into the POTUS (it’s a parallel dimension where gravity has failed, “fun” has been outlawed and Snookie is the Secretary of Spray Tans). It’s never, ever going to happen. Scott Walker has a better chance of holding on to his job than Gingrich does of taking Obama’s. These are the cold and clammy facts.

The mainstream media taking Gingrich seriously again as a candidate, has got a shelf life of how many… days do you think? Anybody want to start a betting pool on how long his front-runner status lasts?

And one more question: What EXACTLY does well-fed fascist mean by the curious phrase “Classical America” when he’s saying it to an audience comprised of Christian evangelicals?

“But we have allowed ourselves to be bullied, harassed, intimidated, and dominated by a tiny elite using the courts, using the news media, using the entertainment community, using the bureaucracy to coerce the American people against their will. It is fundamentally anti-freedom, fundamentally anti-democratic and the core meaning of the 2012 is to stand up and say “no, the eighty percent of the country that actually believes in classical America is now about to take back power from the minority elite.”

Whatever, dude… I just… can’t be bothered getting worked up about you or even to take you seriously.

And have you seen this harsh video that Ron Paul’s campaign just dropped on Gingrich’s big fat head? Ouch!

UPDATE: I have to admit that I laughed with Newt on this one...

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Michelle Bachmann - ‘Lyin’ Ass Bitch’
03:41 pm

Stupid or Evil?


Much respect to The Roots’ Questlove for what has to be one of the best TV punkings of all time. When Michelle Bachman appeared on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon last night, his band The Roots played the Fishbone track “Lyin’ Ass Bitch” as she stepped on stage (as NO-ONE applauded). We couldn’t think of a better song! Questlove has since been “grounded” by Fallon (whatever that means), but we wouldn’t worry too much about it - aside from all his excellent music work, this guarantees the guy legendary status.

Michelle Bachman’s entrance onto Jimmy Fallon:

Here’s Fishbone playing the original, live in Japan in 1987:

Thanks to Rusty Lazer!

Posted by Niall O'Conghaile | Leave a comment
Fox News makes you DUMB: Evil conspiracy or giving thick people what they want?

Fairleigh Dickinson University’s PublicMind Poll found that some news sources actually make us less likely to have a full picture of the world we live in. Did I write some? I meant Fox News. Yep, according to the poll (which was conducted entirely in New Jersey, and so to my mind could skew the IQ results a tad higher than the overall US) Fox News viewers are more ignorant of current and international events than people who pay no attention to the news!

If Fox News was an evil Russian conspiracy to consciously try to dumb down the conservative population of the US, then they’ve done a job that the fictional SMERSH would envy! Facts? Who needs facts when there are smelly Marxists who need to get a job, Ground Zero mosques that need to be protested, whatever word salad Sarah Palin feels like puking up via satellite that day and you know, shit like that?

Intelligence is so overrated! Look at Sean Hannity. Guy’s making millions and he’s only got half a brain! See what hard work aggressively inflicting ignorance on senior citizens and thick people can get you in this country, dirty hippies? Get with the Ronald Reagan free market, Occupy weirdos! And get off my lawn!

Among other topics, New Jerseyans were asked about the outcome of the uprisings in North Africa and the Middle East this past year. While 53% of New Jerseyans know that Egyptians were successful in overthrowing the government of Hosni Mubarak, 21% say that the uprisings were unsuccessful, and 26% admit they don’t know.  Also, 48% know that the Syrian uprising has thus far been unsuccessful, while 36% say they don’t know, and 16% say the Syrians have already toppled their government.
But the real finding is that the results depend on what media sources people turn to for  their news. For example, people who watch Fox News, the most popular of the 24-hour cable news networks, are 18-points less likely to know that Egyptians overthrew their government than those who watch no news at all (after controlling for other news sources, partisanship, education and other demographic factors).  Fox News watchers  are also 6-points less likely to know that Syrians have not yet overthrown their government than those who watch no news. 

I’ll repeat that: People who get their news “by osmosis,” walking past a newsstand, or via “the drum” know more about what’s going on in the world around them than people who watch Fox fucking News!

“Because of the controls for partisanship, we know these results are not just driven by Republicans or other groups being more likely to watch Fox News,” said Dan Cassino, a professor of political science at Fairleigh Dickinson and an analyst for the PublicMind Poll. “Rather, the results show us that there is something about watching Fox News that leads people do worse on these questions than those who don’t watch any news at

Of course this is one study Fox New viewers will never, ever hear about…

Read more at Public Minds

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Occupy THESE idiots: Fox News is the 1%

Robert Greenwald of Brave New Films was on MSNBC’s The Ed Show last night to discuss the completely idiotic way Fox has bashed Occupy Wall Street.  (My former company released several of his documentaries on DVD including OutFoxed: Rupert Murdoch’s War on Journalism, a project I was proud to have put some money behind).

Watch the opening montage: How could anyone save for a totally uninformed pisshead take Fox News and what these people have to say seriously? It’s simply dishonest reporting yet the Geritol set and thick people all over the country take this shite as the gospel truth. Who benefits from keeping the common man ignorant and infuriated? (The 1%?)

It’s just bizarre to watch this, having visited Zuccotti Park several times personally. What they describe bears little to no resemblance to what I saw with my own two eyes on several occasions. They are flat out liars and fabricators.

Why NOT occupy Fox News? It would give them something legitimate to complain about and man, would that be a whole lot of fun.

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Does the GOP enjoy the misery of others?

“Don’t you just look good enough to eat? Nom nom nom.”

Must-read essay over at Daily Kos today from Jack Cluth, who asks a question that’s been on a lot of our minds over the past few years: “What happens when an entire political party embraces the Dark Side?”

By the definition of today’s GOP, compassion is synonymous with weakness as charity is with enabling sloth and indolence. If you’re unable to do for yourself, whatever your situation might be, you have no right to expect government to do for you. Ill? Disabled? Uninsured? Unemployed? That’s too bad, but it’s not the responsibility of government to do for those unable to do for themselves.

It’s as if Republicans have decamped from anything resembling compassion and migrated en masse to the Dark Side. They’ve rejected anything that smacks of humanity and embraced a Darwinian view of America as a place where the strong rightfully survive and the weak get what they deserve. I don’t know about you, but this philosophy has nothing to do with the traditional Conservatism that Republicans profess to revere. Traditional Conservatism doesn’t reject the social contract. It doesn’t genuflect to the oligarchy and the military-industrial complex. It doesn’t traffic in fear, hatred, and loathing. It doesn’t reject science. It doesn’t embrace fundamentalist Christianity as the ultimate and only authority on what America should be.

Then again, this isn’t about Conservatism. It’s about doing whatever it takes to acquire, maintain, and increase power and control. It’s about enforcing Social Darwinism and Fundamentalist Christianity as the basis of the American experience and the law of the land. It’s about using fear, hatred, and propaganda in order to manipulate the American Sheeple into doing your bidding.

The guy nails it. Read more of The GOP: The party of pain, punishment, misery, and death (Daily Kos) and check out this amazing, snarling anti-GOP rant courtesy of Chris Matthews: “Does the GOP enjoy the misery of others?” Matthews makes a pretty clear argument that indeed they do…

My compliments to both chefs!


Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Fox News poll: Which Republican presidential candidate would you trust MOST with nuclear weapons?
11:18 am

Stupid or Evil?


It’s a trick question… right?

Via Daily Kos:

Anderson Robbins Research (D) / Shaw & Company Research (R) for Fox News. November 13-15. Republican primary voters. ±5%. No trends.

Which Republican presidential candidate would you trust MOST with nuclear weapons?

Newt Gingrich: 30
Mitt Romney: 17
Herman Cain: 7
Ron Paul: 7
Rick Perry: 5
Michele Bachmann: 4
Jon Huntsman: 2
Rick Santorum: 2

Puts it all into rather stark perspective, doesn’t it? OMFG.

This is ONE poll where I would have thought Jon Huntsman or Ron Paul would have come out on top....

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Victoria Jackson’s new conservative talkshow is better—no really—than you might think!

I realize that this post is one of those, “Hey smell this, it smells like shit” kind of things, but really, it’s worth it to sample the idiotic wares of Victoria Jackson’s new alternate reality conservative version of The View, if only for a minute.

I know, just what you were waiting for. You and the rest of the world:

The PolitiChicks are here! Finally, Conservative Americans will have an alternative to those other liberal-based talk shows in which women scream over each other and call Conservatives vile names.

The PolitiChicks are former Saturday Night Live alumni and Tea Party favorite Victoria Jackson, pro-life speaker and activist Jennique Stewart, editor and activist Jennie Jones and Ann-Marie Murrell, columnist and host of The Patriot Update video show.

Some of the topics covered in their first episodes will be illegal immigration, gay marriage, abortion and the Occupy movement. Each of the women have their own strong points of view on each of the subjects and aren’t afraid to speak up—or sing up, as Victoria Jackson tends to do throughout the episodes. In the first episode of PolitiChicks, the ladies discuss gay marriage, Islam and the intolerance of the left toward anyone who disagrees with them.

How bright can the other hosts of this shit sandwich be (or desperate for money, I suppose) to debase themselves professionally by sharing a forum with one of the single dumbest people in America today? If you lie down with dogs you get fleas, right, so what happens to your career when you hitch your horse to Victoria Jackson? Each of her fellow co-hosts MUST have had such thoughts cross their minds after being offered the gig. And they took it anyway! (Watch the look on their faces as she sings. What could they be thinking?)

It’s telling that many of the ads running on their YouTube channel are for payday advance places. A lot of Tea party types must be living paycheck to paycheck these days… (And the other ads are for bail bondsmen!)

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Huge pro-capitalism counter protest shows up at Shut Down Wall Street

A grand total of THREE, yes, three assholes stage their own completely witless counter-protest today in lower Manhattan.

“Get a job”?

Seriously? THAT is the best you can do? The very BEST and smartest and most clever thing you can think of? In a SEA of clever, funny signs you come up with lameness and you’re the ones who still have a job???

Apparently so. When you’re an apologist for a failed economic system… yes, THIS is the best you can do.

There are no jobs, lickspittle dummies! That’s one of the reasons these people are keeping you from getting to work today, Republican fools! Occupy everywhere!

UPDATE: Listen to one of these cretins, a fool named Derek Tabacco. UPDATE 2: They’re related!

Derek Tabacco, Wall Street worker, holding a "Get a job" sign on why he is unimpressed by Occupy Wall Street"s day of action (mp3)

Via Adam Gabbatt’s Twitter feed

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
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