What toys would the 3 Wise Men bring the infant Jesus today? Certainly not the body lotion, jewelry or cologne they gave upon that first Christmas night.

According to this short film report, from 1975, toy manufacturers would have a pretty good idea what to give, as they already know the kinds of gifts they will be foisting onto kiddies as Xmas presents years in advance.

But before we get too cynical, a newly published survey of British children has revealed that not all children are so predictable in their wishes. Top of UK children’s Christmas list was a baby brother or sister, next a reindeer, followed by a horse, and a car (ambitious little things aren’t they?). While a ‘Dad’ was number 10, and a ‘Mum’ was 23rd. It would seem for some children that good relationships with humans or animals are far more important than owning a ‘Gangnam’ Furby or a Doc McStuffin’s Time for Your Check-Up Doll, which let’s be honest can only be good for us all.
 

 
With thanks to NellyM
 

 
Worst marketing idea of all time? Severe irony deficiency? Just plain old abject cluelessness?

You decide, via RH Reality Check:

Springdale Drycleaners of Cincinnati, Ohio, has been etching “Choose Life” ads on wire coat hangers used to hang dry-cleaning.

What’s worse is that this seems to be an ongoing effort. Reports of the “choose life” coat hangers already were on the Internet back in March of 2011, when Joe.My.God posted a picture of the hanger then. And before that on Regretsy in 2010. So despite over two years of attention, the business continues to think this is an excellent cross-advertising campaign. In fact, the practice was losing them customers as far back as August of 2010, but still the dry-cleaner continues to use hangers as a place to offer inappropriate propaganda.

As NARAL Pro-Choice Wisconsin said on Facebook, it’s a reminder of why we will never let them make us go back.

Staggeringly stupid stuff. What’s bad for business is… bad for business, but that’s not going to stop these tacky morons from running their company right into the ground. You’d think that a loss of money might, you know, clue them in a little bit, but apparently not!

 
Advert with an interesting use of Zombies.
 

 
This is fucking shameful. American Apparel should be donating the 20% savings to the Red Cross.

Does Dov Charney really wonder why everyone seems to think he’s an asshole?

Via Joe.My.God

These are the jeans. The Glenn Beck Jeans.
 
Glenn Beck has launched his own brand of jeans, 1791 Denim. They only went on the market 2 days ago, but they’ve already sold out despite the $130 price tag. I’d go into more detail about the ideology of Glenn Beck’s blue jeans, but the commercial really speaks for itself.

If you’re perceptive to the subtlest of thematic symbolism, you’ll notice it has it all: nationalist imagery, nostalgia for some mythic time period when people and things were apparently better because of work ethic or some bullshit, a noble, industrious white dude, and the romanticization of really arduous labor! The spot even demonstrates the classic hypocritical boner for “American-made” products, while Beck himself still promotes a free market that favors outsourcing on his radio show. 

The final line asserts that in America, you may not get the chance to succeed, but by gum, you have the chance to try, dammit! And in the end, the guy builds a giant phallic symbol that beats the Russians to the moon! USA! USA! USA!
 

 
Devil’s Harvest - now that’s a damned fine name for a good smoke.
 
Previously on Dangerous Minds

This is Your Brain on Marijuana

 
With thanks to Edna Bakewell (Mrs.) via Suicide Blonde
 

“Meant for a doctors-only television network, circa late 70s”

 
Thank you, Paul Dougherty!

 
My favorite pornographer Larry Flynt is offering $1 million to anyone who can provide him with Mitt Romney’s financial records.

The Hustler publisher has bought full page ads that will appear in Sunday’s Washington Post and Tuesday’s USA Today.

This is what makes America great. Flynt once again puts his money where his mouth is.

 
Earth, Wind and Fire for the Panasonic Platinum Series boom box.

Actor Harrison Johnson, a Scott Baio look-a-like, is suitably impressed. “Wow, Earth, Wind and Fire!”
 

 
When Matt Groening hired Danny Elfman to write the theme for The Simpsons, he gave him a mixed tape of songs that he wanted the music to sound like: The theme from The Jetsons, some of Esquivel’s “space age bachelor-pad music,” a teach-your-parrot-to-talk record, selections from Nino Rota’s Juliet of the Spirits soundtrack and this unused Frank Zappa-produced radio commercial for Remington electric shavers that features the vocal stylings of none other than a young Linda Ronstadt.

The future queen of country rock is nearly unrecognizable here, speeded-up, multi-tracked and sounding like she’s just taken a hit off a helium balloon. At the end, Zappa tells listeners that the Remington electric razor “cleans you, thrills you… may even keep you from getting busted.”

According to legend, after giving the tape several listens Elfman told Groening, “I know exactly what you’re looking for!”