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South Carolina woman reports sighting of ‘Lizard Man,’ captures photo evidence
08.03.2015
07:33 am

Topics:
Animals
Current Events
Hysteria

Tags:
cryptozoology
Lizard Man


Amateur sketch of Lizard Man by its first recorded eyewitness, Christopher Davis.
 
A South Carolina woman came forward to the media on Sunday to report a spotting of the legendary swamp creature known as “Lizard Man” and has provided photographic evidence of the sighting.

The woman, identified only as “Sarah” by WCIV ABC News 4, says she “went to church with a friend Sunday morning, [and] stepped out of the sanctuary to see the Lizard Man running along the tree line.”

“My hand to God, I am not making this up,” she wrote in an email to the news station.

WCIV reported her claim as well as the cellphone photo she submitted:
 

Photo of the Lizard Man taken by South Carolina’s “Sarah.”
 
The cryptid, known as “The Lee County Lizard Man” or “The Bishopville Lizard Man” or “The Lizard Man of Scape Ore Swamp,” was first reported in 1988 by 17-year-old Christopher Davis. Driving home from work around 2:00 a.m., Davis had to stop near Scape Ore Swamp to change a flat tire. As he was finishing up, he reported having heard a thumping noise from behind and turned to see a seven-foot-tall bipedal creature running towards him. Davis said it had glowing red eyes, green skin, and three clawed fingers on each hand. Davis said the creature tried to grab at his car and then jumped on its roof as he tried to escape—clinging on as Davis swerved from side to side.  Davis’ side-view mirror was found to be badly damaged, and scratch marks were found on the car’s roof.  After Davis’ tale was reported, others came forward with their own accounts of the beast. According to former Lee County sheriff Liston Truesdale, at least twelve witnesses have come forward.
 

 
On July 30, 1990, Bertha Blythers and her five children witnessed a strange creature near Scape Ore Swamp lunge toward the passenger side of their car. In a statement given to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office, Bertha described the creature as being tall, wide, and having “two arms like a human.” “I never seen anything like it before,” she told the police. “It wasn’t a deer or a bear. It was definitely not a person either.”

Not quite as big a celebrity in the world of cryptozoology as Bigfoot or Nessie, the Lizard Man still has a cult following among investigators. A 2013 book, Lizard Man: The True Story of the Bishopville Monster, tells the story of the elusive creature. Cartoon Network has even produced an action figure of the Lizard Man.
 

 
Sales of Lizard Man-related merchandise, along with a lucrative speed trap (one I’ve had personal experience with) are major sources of revenue for impoverished Bishopville/Lee County.
 

 
This latest sighting is sure to boost the local Bishopville economy, and if nothing else, proves that local TV affiliates (as well as Dangerous Minds) will report on anything. Going only by “Sarah”‘s photo, we’re wondering if the Lizard Man of Scape Ore Swamp might possibly be a Sleestak.
 

 
Here’s a short documentary on the Lizard Man:

 
And this song by R Logan tells the tale of the creature:

 

Posted by Christopher Bickel | Leave a comment
The Great DEVO Cat Listening Party of 2010
07.30.2015
11:26 am

Topics:
Amusing
Animals
Music

Tags:
cats
DEVO


 
In 2010, in order to promote its new album Something for Everybody, DEVO created a one-time-only “DEVO Cat Listening Party,” in which the band isolated a handful of kitties in “a specially constructed room” equipped with “an enormous blue Energy Dome scratching post.”

This event happened on June 15, 2010, at the Warner Bros. offices in Burbank, California. Songs from Something for Everybody were for about two hours while the cute kitties, provided by Jungle Exotics, frolicked and played their feline games to the socially incisive pop music.
 

 
Warner Bros. Records new media director Cara Heller stated, “We were told they like music, but we didn’t know how cats react to listening to music over long periods of time and we didn’t want to burn them out.”

The event was streamed continuously on a dedicated Ustream feed, and in fact if you go to that feed today you’ll find a 50-minute video documenting the event. It’s embedded below. Judging from the video, they also had a massive supply of blue energy domes to give away—I wish I owned one, I would have worn it while writing this…..
 

 

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
Why aren’t people taking man who claims to have found a caterpillar with human face seriously?!
07.27.2015
10:57 am

Topics:
Amusing
Animals

Tags:
Caterpillars


 
No one is taking 69-year-old Robert Palmer—who claims to have found a caterpillar with a human-like face—seriously. According to reports, Toutle, Washington-based Palmer discovered the supposed human-faced caterpillar a few weeks ago on the side of a trough while giving his horse water. “My first thought was to crush it with my cane, then I thought, no, it looks so strange, I’m going to take a picture of it, ” said Palmer.

Palmer has done all the research that’s humanly possible to try to figure out exactly what kind of caterpillar he’s dealing with. “I’ve sent the picture to OMSI, the Portland Zoo, Fish & Wildlife, the Extension Service, The Master Gardeners. People either don’t respond or don’t know what kind it is. Some people aren’t taking this very seriously.”

Palmer says the photo he took is very real and very genuine.

I sent a picture to my grandson, he said ‘nice Photoshop grandpa’. I said I can’t even use my smart phone half the time, much less do some special computer effects. “I had to have the girls at the Shell station send the picture to the local TV station. He knows I wouldn’t lie about this,” said Palmer. The staff at Drew’s Shell in Toutle back him up.

Kay Hanke, who’s known Robert Palmer for over 50 years claims he’s no liar:

“It’s Bob, he wouldn’t lie about anything. He’s just really intrigued by what kind of caterpillar it is, and getting somebody to figure it out, that’s why he’s always talking about it.”

“One lady told me it looked like the devil” says Palmer, “I don’t want nothin’ to do with her if she’s actually seen the devil.”

Apparently Palmer tried like hell to keep the human-faced caterpillar alive, but sadly it died.

It seems obvious to me Palmer is dealing with a “Teddy Roosevelt caterpillar.” They’re a menace out here in Los Angeles.
 

 
via KATU and Arbroath

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Skin-crawling close-up footage of praying mantis faces
07.16.2015
08:19 am

Topics:
Animals

Tags:
Zana Briski
Praying Mantis

The face of a Praying Mantis
The face of a praying mantis
 
After dreaming about mantises (commonly known as “praying mantises”) one night Academy Award-winning director Zana Briski decided to film the fascinating insects as they go about their day-to-day business.

The word mantis is derived from the ancient Greek name “mantodea” (which means “prophet”) and was coined in 1838 by the German entomologist Hermann Burmeister. Mantises are highly predatory insects with their fellow bugs (or even their own siblings) being their primary prey. However, larger species of mantis have been known to feed on animals such as snakes, fish and even rats or mice.

In Briski’s short film Reverence, she manages to capture the horror and spellbinding beauty of these remarkable insects at such a close range, it’s impossible to look away from.
 

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
Trump your cat: The Internet takes on Donald Trump’s hair and WINS!
07.14.2015
05:32 pm

Topics:
Animals
Politics

Tags:
cats
Donald Trump

Trump your Cat
One of the pussies from “Trump your Cat”

Sometimes the Internet truly is the giver of great things. I say that because some AWESOME person calling themselves “Donald Purrump” has set up an Instagram page that has issued a challenge for pet owners to “Trump your Cat.”

Trump your Cat’s Instagram has just under 5,000 followers, but that’s going to change pretty quickly I suspect. Since its creation, people have uploaded images of not only cats, but dogs and a lone Guinea pig to the page all sporting versions of Trump’s ridiculous comb-over-and-up. It’s quite something. Unlike Fight Club, Trump your Cat has a few rules:

Trump your Cat Guinea Pig
Trump your Cat Guinea Pig

1. Brush your cat.
2. Form the hair you brushed into a toupee.
3. Place toupee on cat.
4. Share!
 
Trump your Cat
 
Trump your Cat
 
Trump your Cat
 
More feline Trumpery after the jump…

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
‘The Nose’: Brother Theodore voices this brilliant animated adaptation of surreal Gogol short story


 
Darkly comic performance artist Brother Theodore’s trademark manic, impassioned delivery made him an obvious choice for cartoon voice work. Although he was one of the more frequent guests on 80s David Letterman shows, I actually first heard him as a kid incessantly watching the 1982 animated feature, The Last Unicorn (he perfectly voiced an evil hunchback). He also made a great Gollum in the really underrated 1980 cartoon of The Hobbit—again, perfect casting. However, Theodore really shined at monologue, which is why this 1966 animated adaptation of Nikolai Gogol’s satirical short story “The Nose” is so strong; he does every voice—the narrator, our tragic protagonist (Nathan Naspicker), the cruel and unfeeling police, and even the rogue nose itself.

“A Nose” is obviously slightly reworked for a light cartoon audience. Rather than Gogol’s 1830’s St. Petersburg, director Mordi Gerstein chose to set the story “in the Year of our Lord 1305, on the 25th of March in the city of Pittsburgh.” Poor Nathan Naspicker finds that his nose has abandoned him and started a life of its own. As Naspicker attempts to track down his roving schnozz, he begins to despair. There is no moral, it’s just pure madness, but it has a happy ending (kind of?)! The format of the film is actually quite experimental as well—partially animated, partially live action. It’s a cute cartoon for kids, but it’s definitely pure Brother Theodore in all his mad glory.
 

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
Hidden-camera footage of would-be horse f*cker choosing his victim
07.13.2015
07:28 pm

Topics:
Animals
Crime
Kooks
Sex

Tags:
bestiality
Sheriff Joe Arpaio


 
It’s seldom that you’ll hear me saying a good word about Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the rightwing lawman from Arizona’s Maricopa County who’s known for taking racial profiling to outrageous heights and for being one of the foremost diehard “birther” idiots. BUT in this case, I have to hand it to the Sheriff: When I heard about the sad, sordid and sick tale of the hapless would-be horse-fucker Michael Crawford, arrested by Arpaio’s men in an undercover sting operation last Friday, my first thought was “I’m glad they got this sick fuck.”

And then my second thought was realizing that there was VIDEO FOOTAGE of Crawford’s sting. As the kids say: OMG. I mean… It’s the REALEST thing you’ve ever seen (Today at least).Totally revolting. To Catch a Predator on steroids.

Via USA Today:

Michael Crawford, 68, landed in Phoenix believing he would meet with a horse owner he’d been corresponding with online, according to a statement released by the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office. Crawford hoped the fictitious owner would allow Crawford to engage in “perverted” sex acts with an animal, Sheriff Joe Arpaio said at a press conference Sunday.

Crawford posted an ad on a popular website soliciting a willing horse owner, according to the Sheriff’s Office. Investigators in the Animal Crimes Investigations Unit opened the case in October and corresponded with Crawford via e-mail and phone-call conversations.

“If you can really help with what I am seeking, I am definitely interested in traveling out to meet you,” Crawford told the detectives. He admitted that he had traveled the country since the 1970s to find horse owners willing to let him have sex with their steeds.

On Friday, Crawford was met by undercover deputies at the Phoenix airport and taken to a “meeting” with the horses in Tolleson, Arizona. It was all videotaped.

You will never get you innocence back after you watch this 68-year-old perv gleefully licking his lips over which horse he thinks he’s going to fuck.

How is that even enticing? HOW? If you’re a horse-fucker, does it matter if it’s a boy or a girl? So many questions.
 

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Watch ‘Island of Flowers’ NOW, a Vonnegut-inspired dark comedy short on humans, garbage & freedom
06.26.2015
06:09 am

Topics:
Animals
Class War
Movies

Tags:
Brazil
Jorge Furtado


 
I had seen the brilliant 1989 short film Ilha das Flores (translation, Isle of Flowers) before, but in the original Portuguese with subtitles. The narration is so poetic and coy, I was thrilled to find this wonderful version dubbed in English, and I cannot recommend it highly enough. Writer and director Jorge Furtado actually said the piece was in part inspired by Kurt Vonnegut, and you can certainly hear it in the cadence of the narration (and subject matter), but there is also a Pythonesque humor to this absurdist little “documentary,” very reminiscent of the black humor in The Meaning of Life. I mean the opening credits land the first punch with, “God doesn’t exist.”

The “story” of the film begins with a Japanese-Brazilian farmer, who grows tomatoes that are later purchased in a supermarket by a nice middle-class door-to-door perfume saleslady. She then cooks these tomatoes into a sauce for her nice middle-class family—throughout all this the narrator is taking little contextual detours along the way on matters like evolution and the Holocaust. The story spins back and forth with cutting little observations on labor alienation and capitalism, until eventually we arrive at the titular Isle of Flowers, the tragic, ugly side of all our modern conveniences.

I won’t give it away—you just have to watch.
 

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
‘Testicle-biting’ fish with human-like teeth found in New Jersey lake
06.25.2015
11:59 am

Topics:
Animals
Environment

Tags:
Pacu fish


 
This will be my second post about New Jersey in the past couple days. Hey New Jersey, you turnin’ into the new Florida?! Anyway, a South NJ resident and his son were fishing in a man-made lake called Swedes Lake in Burlington County and caught a Pacu fish which isn’t indigenous to the area. If you notice, the Pacu fish has human-like teeth.

Now you may have heard about this Pacu fish before which has a hilarious reputation for only attacking men’s balls. The truth is, the rumors about this Pacu fish feasting on male testicles is pretty much more of an urban legend than actual fact. The Pacu “folklore” started in Papua, New Guinea with the nickname for the fish they coined translating as “ball cutters.” Now I’m not saying the Pacu fish has never attacked a dude’s balls before—they’re not known to be the friendliest fish, either—it’s just not as common as most people would have you believe.

The real threat with this fish is that it’s not indigenous to the area and could mess with the whole ecosystem, i.e. spreading disease and spurring fiercer competition for food.

More than anything, the Pacu fish is in need of a good dentist. Lookit that tartar buildup. Daily flossing is a must!


 
via Death and Taxes and 6 ABC

 

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Polly wanna headbang? The return of Hatebeak, the death metal band with a parrot for a singer
06.18.2015
07:20 am

Topics:
Amusing
Animals
Music

Tags:
Hatebeak
Caninus


 
The oughts were banner years for grind bands with pets for singers: there was Caninus, a side project of Most Precious Blood whose 2004 album Now The Animals Have A Voice I purchased because I figured I might someday have to prove that yes, there was a metal band with two pit bulls for singers. And there was Baltimore’s Hatebeak, formed by members of the Index and Pig Destroyer, who featured a front-bird, a parrot named Waldo.
 

 
Though they released splits with Caninus and Birdflesh (I have a feeling I know what you’re thinking, but sadly, no, the latter band does not also have a bird in it), Hatebeak broke up in 2009 before ever recording a full length LP of its own. That’s about to change—they’ve reunited, and will be releasing The Number of the Beak next week. It collects their split tracks on side one, while side two is all new. They’ve pre-released a handful of songs on Soundcloud, all titled with preposterous metal/avian puns, like “Hell Bent for Feathers,” “Roost in Piece,” you get the drift. Check out “The Thing that Should not Beak”:
 

 
In an interview with Consequence of Sound‘s Sami Jarroush, drummer Blake Harrison informed us that the band will never tour:

Parrots like doing this stuff—the mimicry is kind of like a form of play, so it’s more like they have to be in a relaxed ... playful mood. You know the sound of your smoke detector when the battery is low? And it’s like a really loud chirp? He will do that when he’s uncomfortable.

The bird really shouldn’t and probably couldn’t—I don’t want PETA after me for subjecting a bird to like 120 decibels of distorted guitars. And you know, it’s kind of more of like a fun thing. Playing live would be a pain in the ass, and if it’s not fun I don’t know if I would necessarily want to do it.

 

 
The Number of the Beak is due out on June 23, 2015. We’ll leave you with one of Waldo’s finest performances, “Seven Perches.”
 

 
Much love to Christian Taylor for alerting me to this excellent news.

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
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