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Scotland greets Donald Trump
06.24.2016
09:17 am

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Animals
Current Events
Politics

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Today in Scotland a street campaign was launched warning the public of a highly toxic and dangerous man who is currently visiting the country. The public are advised not to approach this man under any circumstance or listen to any of the shite that spouts out of his mouth. The man is wanted for inciting racial hatred and very bad hair.

In other news, Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump has arrived in Scotland.
 
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With thanks to Neil McDonald.
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Oh great, now they’ve got porn-sniffing dogs!
06.23.2016
03:05 pm

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Animals
Crime

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On April 19, the state of Utah resolved that “pornography is creating a public health crisis.” There’s definitely a hinky stank to that resolution, as Jamie Peck explained after the resolution’s passage: “The resolution is based partly on pseudoscience and takes for granted that the only ‘healthy’ channel for sexuality is a non-kinky, heterosexual, child-producing marriage.” So if you are queer or trans or pansexual the state of Utah just might pass a resolution stating that your private sex life is “creating a public health crisis.” Utah. Land of Republicans, Mormons and… more Republican Mormons.

Either way, some law enforcement officers in the state have taken the hint. Abutting the state’s famous Great Salt Lake, the municipality of Weber County, which contains the city of Ogden, has acquired a dog to help with the struggle against demon porn.

You might think that sniffing for porn is an impossibility, because you might as well be sniffing for old copies of Newsweek or the L.L. Bean catalog, right? But you’d be wrong! It’s 2016, when was the last time you held a copy of Penthouse in your hands? Nowadays, porn = internet = computer technology, nobody’s looking for printed smut anymore.

The dog’s name, URL, is a hint as to the skills that are being brought to the task. From the same trainer that produced the doggie that helped snare vile pedophile and TV fast food spokesman Jared Fogle, URL is “trained to sniff out electronic storage devices such as thumb drives, cell phones, SIM cards, SD cards, external hard drives, tablets and iPads.”

So URL is also sort of an “office work product”-sniffing agent as well.

Weber County introduced the dog to the public on its Facebook feed on Tuesday. Here’s the text that went along with the post:
 

A NEW DOG IN TOWN

Say hello to “URL!” Utah’s first Electronic Detection K-9, or what some may jokingly refer to as Utah’s first “porn dog.” URL is a 16-month old, Black Lab, recently acquired from Jordan Detection K-9 in Greenfield, Indiana. He is only one of nine certified ED K-9s in the country, and the only one in the western states region. URL comes from the same trainer as Bear, the ED K-9 who played a key role in the arrest of Subway pitchman, Jared Fogle.

Specially trained to sniff out electronic storage devices such as thumb drives, cellphones, SIM cards, SD cards, external hard drives, tablets and iPads, URL offers a unique set of skills to aid investigators in fighting crime. Whether it’s child porn, terrorism intelligence, narcotics or financial crimes information, URL has the ability to find evidence hidden on basically any electronic memory device. He will assist our investigators on these specific types of cases, and he will also be used in our correctional facility to seek out contraband such as cell phones.

Now we realize some of you may be skeptical and wonder how is this possible? URL does not actually search for illegal materials, but rather his highly sensitive nose has been trained to detect the unique chemical compounds found in the certain electronic components.

Rescued from a shelter when he was a puppy, URL went through six months of training in Indiana before becoming certified. His handler, Detective Cam Hartman, also received nine days of expert training and the pair will have to be re-certified on an annual basis.

URL’s purchase was made possible through funding from the Weber Metro Narcotics Strike Force, and his acquisition has been strongly supported by the Weber County Attorney’s Office. The Sheriff’s Office will be responsible for his care and deployment as he serves the Northern Utah area.

 
As the good people of Weber County admit, URL may be known as a porn-sniffing K-9 officer, but he can also be used to detect “terrorism intelligence, narcotics or financial crimes information” because we all know that Utah is a hotbed of that shit.
 
via Death & Taxes

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
Make picking up poop great again with these Donald Trump doggie-waste bags
06.17.2016
09:43 am

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Amusing
Animals
Politics

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We already have the “Dump with Donald Trump” toilet paper. So naturally, the next inevitable crap-related Trump product is the the Poop Head Donald Trump Dog Bags. I can’t think of a more fitting tribute to the shitty Republican presidential nominee.

Now whether or not these bags are biodegradable remains unclear. I don’t see any information about that on the website. I hope they are.

Each roll comes with 15 bags featuring Donald Trump’s head with a steaming hot turd on top. The bag rolls are $4.99 each.


 
via Death and Taxes

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
A Rolling Stone’s trippy ‘Last Supper’: That time Brian Jones thought he was a goat and ate himself
06.10.2016
09:49 am

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Animals
Drugs
Food
Music
Pop Culture

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In 1968 the artist Brion Gysin invited Rolling Stones guitarist Brian Jones to record a group of traditional Jbala Sufi trance musicians—better known as the Master Musicians—perform at the village of Jajouka in northern Morocco.

Gysin had long been familiar with the Master Musicians having been introduced to them and “Joujouka” music by writer Paul Bowles in 1950. Gysin thought the music of “the people of Pan” would be of some interest to Jones. Jones agreed. He traveled with Gysin to Jajouka, accompanied by his then girlfriend Suki Potier, recording engineer George Chkiantz, and painter/folklorist Mohamed Hamri.

Morocco was a favorite holiday destination for the Rolling Stones as it offered easy access to marijuana. Keith Richards later described the experience as a fantasy where they were “transported” and…

You could be Sinbad the Sailor, One Thousand and One Nights.

Jones used a Uher recorder to capture the songs performed by the Master Musicians. These recordings included songs for Jajouka’s “most important religious holiday festival, Aid el Kbir” when a young boy is dressed as Bou Jeloud the Goat God in the “skin of a freshly slaughtered goat.” The boy then runs around the village as the music becomes increasingly frenzied. Gysin claimed this was a ritual to protect the villagers’ health. He said the festival harked back to an ancient pre-Roman festival Lupercalia, held in mid-February as a cleansing and fertility ritual to ward off evil spirits.
 
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As Gysin later told Stanley Booth (and a very drunk William Burroughs) in a rambling tale in 1970—as recounted Booth’s book The True Adventures of the Rolling Stones—Jones and his companions were guests at traditional meal in the village, when Jones had an epiphanic vision—or more likely he tripped out—and believed himself to be a goat.

‘I would really like to talk about Joujouka and what that music is and what Brian got on tape and how it ever happened that he got there. How does he [Jones] appear in your book?’

‘Brian? As—well—sort of—as a little goat god, I suppose.’

‘I have a funny tale which I’ll tell you about just that. A very funny thing happened up there. The setting was extremely theatrical in that we were sitting under a porch of a house made of wattles and mud. Very comfortable place, cushions were laid around like a little theatre, like the box of an old-fashioned theatre, and a performance was going on in the courtyard. And at one moment—dinner obviously had to be somewhere in the offing, like about an hour away, everybody was beginning to think about food—and we had these acetylene lamps, giving a great very theatrical glow to the whole scene, rather like limelight used to be, a greenish sort of tone.’

[Okay Brion we get the picture it was very very very very very very theatrical…now get on with the story….]

‘And the most beautiful goat that anybody had ever seen—pure white!—was suddenly led right across the scene, between Brian and Suki and Hamri and me [...] so quickly that for a moment hardly anybody realized at all what was happening, until Brian leapt to his feet, and he said, “That’s me!” and was pulled down and sort of subsided, and the music went on, and it went on for a few minutes like that, and moments lengthened into an hour, or two hours, which can sometimes be three hours or four hours or five hours—-’

‘Long as it takes to kill a goat,’ Burroughs said.

‘—and we were absolutely ravenous, when Brian realized he was eating the same white goat.’

‘How did he take that?’

‘He said, “It’s like Communion.”’

‘“This is my body,’” I [Booth] said. ‘But Jesus didn’t eat himself, he fed the others.’

‘If he’d been sensible, he’d have eaten Judas,’ Burroughs said. ‘I’m gonna eat Graham Greene next time I see him. Gulp!’

Continues after the jump…

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Bees to the rescue! An original way to transform damaged items into art
06.01.2016
01:25 pm

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Animals
Art

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The honeycomb always serves as a constant tribute to balance and proportion in the structures found in nature, and Canadian artist Aganetha Dyck has found an ingenious way to incorporate the honeycombs found in beehives in her work: She induces bees to build their hives around and on pre-existing artifacts which are broken or missing parts.

The artist has worked with beekeepers and scientists for decades, and those experiences have informed her recent waxy works of art, which use as a starting point Edwardian figurines as well as dilapidated helmets, shoes, and sports equipment, all enhanced by structures that were created by apiarian laborers.

Dyck covers specific areas of the piece to entice the bees before she puts them in the hive. Eventually the honeybees “mend” the damaged parts with their honeycomb layers. 

As Dyck told The Creators Project,
 

While working with honeybees I discovered their methods of construction and their ability to mend the hive’s cracks and crevices with honeycomb, wax and propolis. I thought of the vast number of damaged figurines in antique shops and second-hand stores. I knew honeybees were masters of mending and decided to give a selection of these now unwanted, damaged, figurines to the honeybees. I was surprised that once the honeybees had mended the objects, the figurines became collectibles again.

 

Dyck also said, “Throughout my life I’ve had an interest in figurines and collectibles. I wondered about dust and dusting of figurines and of the glass cabinets containing these untouchable treasures. These collectibles were beyond my reach as a child and adult alike.” 

This unusual method requires a great deal of patience and knowledge of the ways of bees: “My patience is due to the honeybees themselves. They have routines; they must not be disturbed any more than necessary and only for a few minutes at a time.”
 

 

 
More after the jump…....

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
Freaky animal head masks that move their mouths when you talk
06.01.2016
09:55 am

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Amusing
Animals

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These animal head masks that move their mouths as you speak are described as “realistic” or “life-like” on a few websites. I wouldn’t say that they’re very realistic-looking at all, maybe veering more towards the WTF? side, in my opinion. I can’t quite place my finger as to why I find them exactly so unsettling. Maybe it’s because they look like freakin’ roadkill that’s come to life?! I’m imagining zombie roadkill robbing a bank or some bizzare-ass party where everyone is sporting one of these but otherwise naked. Very Island of Dr. Moreau, too (the one with Marlon Brando, natch).

The flexible strap inside the mask keeps it secure while the soft cushion rests against your chin, so the animal’s mouth moves when you talk. This lets you naturally create a very unnatural effect. The life-like faux fur provides the detail needed to complete the freaky facade.

You have a choice of three styles: pug dog, wolf, and fox. Each one sells for $59.99 over at Vat19. This is next level furrydom.


 
The video shows the masks in action and it’s kind of corny. I can easily think of far more sinister scenarios for these masks.

 
via Geekologie

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
‘Secret Life of the Human Pups’ reveals the men who like to dress up as dogs
05.24.2016
02:06 pm

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Animals

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Tomorrow evening large numbers of U.K. viewers are expected to tune into what is being hyped as a startling documentary on Channel 4 called Secret Life of Human Pups. The documentary is about a fascinating subculture of men who have a secret predilection for dressing up as dogs in their spare time, including the donning of special plastic dog outfits, sleeping in cages, eating dog biscuits—they especially adore going out for walks on a leash, or on a “lead” as the British term it.

This morning, on a talk show called This Morning on ITV, British viewers received a sneak preview of the documentary’s content when a fellow named Tom, who likes to dress up as a Dalmatian named Spot, appeared for an interview with a close friend and former fiancée named Rachael. To put it mildly, the program has provided many Britons with a juicy fodder for water cooler conversation.

Tom is a sound and lighting technician in everyday life, and he has spent more than four thousand pounds—that’s nearly $6,000—on his canine accoutrements. Tom has a custom-made rubber suit and a dog crate that he uses for his nighttime slumbers. He says, “It doesn’t look comfortable, but you can curl up in different ways, there is more space than you think.”

According to the documentary, as many as 10,000 “secret pups” live in the United Kingdom. Many of them insist that the practice is not sexual in nature but is rather a response to stress in daily life, a reversion to a simpler state of being. As Tom says, the practice is “an obsession and an escapism. It would be a very boring life if there was no puppy play.”

Baffled viewers took to Twitter to express their befuddlement—and also to register their skepticism that the practice has no sexual component. One woman named Kirsty tweeted: “I’m sorry but him saying it isn’t a sexual thing is lying! It’s extreme bondage gone weird.”

One man quoted only by his puppy name Dynamo, commented, “A lot of them work in high pressure jobs and control a lot of people, they are CEOs and it is a way for them to express themselves in a way they can’t as a human.” Another fellow who becomes a rottweiler named Chip says “When I am not running around on all fours I work in catering.”

After the documentary airs tomorrow night, you can expect a whole new round of office conversation to start up again.

More after the jump…

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
Visit the world’s first ‘raccoon cafe’
05.20.2016
04:19 pm

Topics:
Animals
Food

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Cong kisses a guest
 
You ever look at raccoon headlines in the news? They’re often amusing or interesting. Right now on Google News you’ll find the headlines “Raccoon Takes Out Power to Thousands” (Wisconsin) and “Burglary Suspect Turns Out to Be Raccoon” (Florida) and “Raccoon Moved, Twice” (Connecticut).

If you find any of those stories worth clicking on, then you’ll surely be interested in an establishment called Blind Alley in Seoul, South Korea, which counts among its primary features two live raccoons—their names are Cong (male) and Milk (female)—and patrons have the option of staying in the “normal room” (where food can be consumed) or entering the “raccoon room,” in which they can interact with the furry creatures.

The cafe has been a mecca for raccoon lovers for about a year and a half, when Han Song-hee took over the establishment gave Cong and Milk the run of the place. Those who are dubious about the whole concept of a raccoon cafe might be mollified to hear that one of the pair of raccoons was rescued:
 

I adopted Cong from a breeder. Cong’s family has been domesticated from his grandmother’s generation. Since he was alone, I wanted to get him a friend. Milk was one of those raccoons imported to China and destined for pelt or fur coats. I was able to adopt her from one of [the] animal importers.

 
In my experience, there’s not much middle ground on raccoons—either you find them super-cute or you detest them—and that’s If you don’t happen to have a debilitating fear of them. It’s clear who Blind Alley’s target audience is, anyway.

The author of the book on raccoons—literally, he wrote Raccoons, A Natural History—Sam Zeveloff isn’t sure the raccoon cafe is such a good idea: “Raccoons, like other wild animals, typically are not good pets, given that their behaviors are incompatible with ours. ... We should interact carefully with them, from a distance.” Not surprisingly, Zeveloff understands the attraction, however: “Their striking masks, impish faces, lustrous fur, and ringed tails are all aesthetically appealing.”

 

Milk on a walkway
 
More after the jump…

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
Crocheted animal skeletons show the grim process of death and decay
05.18.2016
11:25 am

Topics:
Animals
Art

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You know about the idea of the “memento mori,” right? Memento mori is Latin for “reminder of death” (as well as the title of a peculiar novel by Muriel Spark). The practice of tangible reminders of one’s own impending death dates back to ancient Rome, but it has been common throughout Europe from medieval times up through the present day. In the 16th century, Mary Queen of Scots, for instance, owned a large watch carved in the form of a silver skull that was adorned with some poetry by Horace.

In olden times, memento mori often took the form of human skulls intended to be displayed on one’s desk, as a constant reminder of the fact that “a certain convocation of politic worms” (Hamlet, Act 4, scene iii) will be munching at your very corpse one day or other.

For a contemporary instance of the memento mori, you can’t do much better than the recent work by artist Caitlin T. McCormack. For some years now, McCormack has been fashioning fascinating animal skeletons by crocheting cotton string that has been fortified with glue.

As she writes on her website,
 

The act of stiffening intricately crocheted cotton string with glue produces material that is structurally similar to delicate bone tissue. The string implemented in this process can be viewed as the basic cellular unit of fabrication, and by utilizing media and practices inherited from my deceased relatives, I aim to generate emblems of my diminishing bloodline, embodied by each organism’s skeletal remains.

 
The reference to her “deceased relatives” serves as kind a dog whistle to her death-obsessed devotees in the audience.

 

 

 

 

 
Lots more after the jump…....
 

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
Snake battles befuddled cat while snake is inside toad’s mouth!
05.10.2016
09:51 am

Topics:
Animals
Environment

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Nature is weird. Case in point, this video of a snake coming out of a toad’s mouth to battle a cat. I’m going to assume that the snake was the toad’s dinner. Otherwise, I have no explanation for what’s going on here. That the snake still has some fight left in him while being actively consumed says a lot about this snake’s own will to survive.

Meanwhile, the cat has no idea what the fuck is going on.

Unfortunately, the video ends before we can see a clear winner. So. Many. Questions. But wow.
 

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
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