These are totally badass. Artist Luke Drozd is responsible for these “Alternative Scouting for Girls and Boys Merit Badges.” The badges are based on a comic strip from his Threnodies book.
The patches are standard merit badge size, about 4.5 cm diameter, and can be sewn or ironed-on to your favorite jacket or scouting sash.
If these had been around when I was a kid, I may have actually joined the Cub Scouts. They almost make me wanna have a kid, just to pridefully watch them try to earn some of these lovelies. The full line includes badges for Grave Robbing, Arson, Violent Revenge, Curses & Hexes, Espionage, Money Laundering, Cryptozoology, Spirit Medium, Prank Calls, Home Dentistry, Mind Control, Cannibalism, Invisibility, Time Travel, Necromancy and Mob Justice.
Home dentistry! Now that’s a skill that will come in handy throughout one’s life. Math can’t help you perform a root canal. Fuck math.
You can order them individually or in sets HERE.
After the jump, some young would-be scouts going for their merit badges in pill-popping and glue-huffing…