Ever have one of those days where you wake up and think, “Sure, I’d like to embody female sexuality with my ensemble today, but that big business meeting I have at noon might not be the most appropriate setting for my full-body vulva costume. How can I go subtle?” Well, now the discerning gynocentric fashionista has an option for the office—the Clitoring, presumably by artist Penelopi Jones (though one could never know because “she” spells it “PenelopiJones,” and does not refer to herself in the first person, so “PenelopiJones” could very well be the name of an LLC belonging to some 75-year-old male jeweler obsessed with female anatomy).
From “her” website:
This provocative little anatomical form, mysterious yet oddly familiar, is a subtly stylized representation of a thing we all know, yet may know surprisingly little about. Until very recently both science and culture have misunderstood and often ignored all but the very tip of it. Our ring, like the anatomical renderings in the header, illustrate the newly rediscovered internal structure of the clitoris. The sensitive little button at the top of a woman’s vagina is apparently just the tip of the iceberg. What lies beneath the surface is vastly more complex and fascinating. It contains eight thousand nerve endings at the tip that permeate through this greater internal structure, then connect to an even greater network of fifteen thousand more that map the entire pelvic region, suggesting that even vaginal orgasms are technically “clitoral.” Over a lifetime the clitoris will increase in sensitivity and in size by seven times. The “wings” that hug the vaginal opening are called the bulbs of the vestibule and are composed of erectile tissue that become swollen during arousal. The “arms” are the two crura that form a wishbone-like shape. We like to think of them as a sort of tuning fork, a device for sending and receiving vibrational energy, possibly for exploring the resonant structure of the universe.
If you’re sensing a little New Age woo in that description, just know that it’s nothing compared to affiliated project, The PenelopiJones Experiment, which purports to be, “a record of our pursuit of a greater understanding of the resonant structure of the universe through orgasm.”
Look, it’s kind of pretty, and it comes in both a ring and a pendant for a necklace (the sterling silver for $122 to 14 karat gold for $535), but I make it a point to steer clear of any jewelry that might accidentally misidentify me as the member of a cult. So on the off-chance The PenelopiJones Experiment is some sort of clitoral Scientology, I’ll be sticking with the classic vulva-suit.