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Calm your rage (or work on your handjob technique) with these stress reducing ‘shrooms
10.10.2014
01:59 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Drugs
Food

Tags:
mushrooms
stress


 
Never feel the need to lose your shit again, just grab your handy rubber mushroom and yank the hell out of it! 

... whether it’s financial pressures, relationship problems or overworking – just squeeze the bejesus out of a realistic rubber mushroom and feel your troubles fade away.

 
The stress reducing mushrooms are by Firebox and come in four different varieties: Enoki, Fly Agaric, King Trumpet and Matsutake.

  • Stretch them, twist them, smash them on the desk
  • Japan’s favourite anger management solution
  • Made from durable rubber, they even feel like the real thing
  • Non hallucinogenic, but more effective than magic mushrooms
  • Four different and slightly phallic fungi to choose from

Each mushroom goes for about $9.50 + shipping. They even feel like the real thing...

As a sidenote: THESE MUSHROOMS ARE NOT EDIBLE!!!


 

 

 
Via Boing Boing

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Eat your greens! Sumptuous high-end edibles from underground pot dining club
10.07.2014
04:20 am

Topics:
Drugs
Food

Tags:
marijuana
cannabis


Pasture-raised pork schnitzel with overwintered vegetables and Og Kush butter
 
As pot begins its slow (but hopefully steady) move towards legality, we are faced with a wild new frontier of drug commodities. As far as I know, the plant itself has yet to be cultivated into super-costly strains—or at least… so I’ve heard, but that doesn’t mean pot extravagance isn’t springing up everywhere. There’s been an explosion of stealth bongs, vape pens and vaporizers all in the tony price range, but when a pipe can just as easily be made from an apple, “luxury weed” can be kind of a hard sell.

Enter the world of fine-dining edibles! The gorgeous foodscapes below (from photographer Justin Walker) depict the sorts of meals served at Sinsemil.la, an underground fine dining club with chapters across the US that specializes in high-end food expertly combined with pot. From the website:

The meal is a carefully calibrated experience from start to finish. Marijuana varietals are tested not just for their organic qualities, but specifically to balance the flavors of each dish and for their psychoactive properties throughout the flow of the dinner.

Sinsemil.la isn’t about getting high — it is about haute cuisine.

Uh-huh. Sure dude. I’d argue that this concept is about novelty, first and foremost—if not taking care of getting high and the munchies in one fell swoop—but who cares? Enjoy your meal, and enjoy your high (where it’s legal, of course). Be careful though! Edibles can knock you on your high-class ass if you’re not expecting it—just ask The New York Times!
 

Potato gnocchi with White Widow buttered wild mushrooms and fresh Diesel
 

Roasted local ribeye with Maui Waui baked potatoes and spring vegetables
 

Warm Girl Scout Cookies Chocolate Cake with Rhubarb and Grand Daddy Purple Ice Cream
 
More after the jump…

Posted by Amber Frost | Discussion
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The designer purse that looks like a Happy Meal, only $1,050!
09.27.2014
09:07 am

Topics:
Fashion
Food

Tags:
Happy Meals
purse


 
I’ve never found the concepts of luxury and socialism to be mutually exclusive. Freddy Engels’ son-in-law called him “the great beheader of Champagne bottles,” so I’d argue the Left has a noble history of pleasure and indulgence. What I do object to is the terms by which we define “luxury” under capitalism. There are certain obvious factors that tend to make a good, product or service “precious.” If materials required are scarce or difficult to obtain, there should perhaps logically be an increase in price, but again, while the bourgeoisie retains monopolies and fixes prices (like in the diamond trade, for example), artificial scarcity can inflate prices to unconscionable heights.

There is also dear old Karl‘s Labor Theory of Value, which states that value is to be measured by the labor required to produce it. Again, this seems reasonable, but it’s clearly not reflected in wage labor or commodity pricing. In art, value is further complicated, as price is affected by very subjective factors, like “historical significance” (or speculation thereof) and “innovation.” (Not to mention social connections!) Once more, under capitalism, it’s the bourgeoisie that decides what is/will be historically significant, and it’s the bourgeoisie that decides what is innovative. This is why Jeff Koons can fart in a jar and sell it to a tacky-ass Greek billionaire for more than twenty times what you make in a year.
 

Also from the Moschino show. Take it one step further and dress like you work at an ultra chic McDonald’s!
 
Now, disregarding what I believe should be used to determine a justifiable price, let me point you to this $1,050 Happy Meal-inspired purse. I suppose it’s entirely possible that the bag is made from the leather of a rare sacred cow, or that it was hand-sewn by arthritic seamstresses, requiring countless hours to complete, but I have a hunch this is just another case of rich people being gullible fools—the luxury interpretation of “low-culture” is undoubtedly the most ignoble of bourgeois aesthetics. I suppose you could argue the bag is innovative, but only if you know absolutely nothing about fashion or kitsch—the lunchbox purse is practically a classic at this point, and I remember very vividly when these were the ubiquitous handbag for the artier Junior High School girls.

No, this purse, which comes from Moschino’s fall line, is simply an ironic joke about wealth of its owner—they’re paying for the laugh, the irreverence, and the sly wink that says, “Oh, I’m not like one of those rarefied rich people, I burn my glut of cash on dumb shit! Dumb shit that evokes a billion-dollar empire built on garbage food and poverty wages!” I saw shots of the Moschino fashion show that debuted the “Happy Eats Handbag” earlier in the year, but with its “low-culture”/service employee theme, I just assumed it was one of those high concept “runway-shows-as-art-exhibits” affairs, where very little of the line was actually, literally reproduced and sold as ready-to-wear.

Never underestimate the uninspired “zany” blandness of wealth. If you’re feeling cheap, but still want to luxuriate in poverty aesthetics, there are other options. The line also includes a Cheetos knock-off sweater for $750, or even McDonald’s-inspired iPhone case for $85.

That’s right boys and girls, for a trifling $85, you too can laugh along with the wealthy tastemakers!

Posted by Amber Frost | Discussion
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Have some coke and a smile: When McDonald’s coffee stirrers became the nation’s coke spoon of choice
09.26.2014
11:32 am

Topics:
Amusing
Drugs
Food

Tags:
cocaine
McDonalds


 
Many of you reading this site who also lived through the 1970s as an adult probably have share your of wild stories involving cocaine. That subset of readers is probably aware of the quirky way that McDonalds inadvertently created a piece of cocaine paraphernalia and even became almost synonymous with cocaine in certain contexts. The rest of you, maybe not so much.

In the late 1970s, McDonalds introduced a combination coffee spoon/stirrer that had the company’s name on the handle and a tiny egg-shaped bowl or scoop on one end, while the other end was proudly crowned with the company’s double arches logo. Basically this spoon was, quite by accident, absolutely perfect for use as a coke spoon. The scoop could hold precisely 100 milligrams of cocaine, some have claimed, which made it an ideal measuring device in addition to providing an easy way for coke addicts to snort the stuff. And America’s largest corporations had just deposited countless millions of them all across the country. It was inevitable that cheeky cocaine users would adopt it.

Inadvertently, McDonalds had created the People’s Coke Spoon. 
 

 
Remarkably, the adoption of the McDonalds stirrers as a helpful cocaine device was not limited to the product’s user base. Far from it. According to Barbara Mikkelson at snopes.com (which has confirmed the story), “The practice of using these implements in such fashion became so widespread that at least in some cities, a dose of cocaine was dubbed a ‘McSpoon’ because it came packaged in the tiny coffee stirrers from McDonald’s restaurants. ... In 1992 an undercover detective in Columbus, Ohio, said McSpoons were commonly sold ten to a bundle in that town and twelve to a bundle in Detroit” (emphasis added).

Understandably, McDonalds wasn’t thrilled to see their fine name being used as shorthand for one of the most widespread Schedule II controlled substances as defined by the Drug Enforcement Agency. Eventually the McDonalds spoon became a flat coffee stirrer. According to snopes.com, a spokesman for McDonald’s Corp. named Doug Timberlake stated at the time that the fast-food chain had chosen to redesign its spoons because “It has been brought to our attention that people are using them illegally and illicitly for purposes for which they are not intended.”
 

Three of the McSpoons alongside three of the redesigned flat version
 
According to a pretty entertaining reddit thread about the “McSpoon,” it was common for coke users to “break away the long middle section and melt the little spoon end to the McDonald’s logo.” When another user asks why on earth anyone would go to so much trouble, the response given is, “You did it so it would fit in a cigarette box.” If you click here you can see what I believe is a Photoshopped image representing what that would look like, I don’t think it’s a photograph of such a stirrer.

Understandably, the “McSpoon” has become the nostalgia artifact for some people. Right now you can buy a lot of 50 McSpoons for $60 on eBay.

In 2005 the artists Tobias Wong and “Ju$t Another Rich Kid” (founded by Ken Courtney) teamed up to create Coke Spoon 02, from “the Indulgent series,” which is described below. Coke Spoon 02 is a version of the McSpoon made of gold-plated bronze, while Coke Spoon 01 is a ballpoint pen cap made of the same expensive material. You can see pics of these items at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art website. Wong unfortunately died in 2010, but he endeared himself to me by calling his own body of work “postinteresting,” which is hilarious.
 

 
Predictably, McDonalds sent out a cease and desist letter with alacrity.

As Fox News reported at the time:

“The piece was part of the pair’s 2005 ‘Indulgences’ collection, inspired by the luxury goods market and designed to be the ultimate gift for the wealthy bachelor who had it all, said Courtney of Ju$t Another Rich Kid. ‘Indulgences’ featured gold-plated Playboy swizzle sticks, 24-karat gold pills meant to be swallowed, golden dumbbells and another golden coke spoon cast from the cap of a BIC pen.” Wong was quoted as saying, “It’s kind of the pop culture of today with a bling twist.” Philip Wood, the creative director of CITIZEN:Citizen, which had been showing the piece, said, “I think it’s a shame because I don’t think there’s any intent in damning anybody’s reputation. ... It really is a comment on how these objects change shape when they get into culture.”

 

 

Posted by Martin Schneider | Discussion
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The Condom Cookbook: For those intimate boil in the bag meals
09.24.2014
02:59 am

Topics:
Amusing
Food
Sex

Tags:
condoms
cookbook

000condocook.jpg
 
I originally thought this was a joke, but apparently not, as Condom Meals I Want to Make for You is a genuine cookery e-book co-created by Kyosuke Kagami (writer of the manga Sentou Hakai Gakuen Dangerous). This novel cookbook contains eleven easy to make recipes, including such tempting delights as “Condom Push Sushi,” “Condom Meat Stuffing,” “Condom Escargot Cooked with Butter” and “Condom Cookies.”

So, what (you may ask) is the story behind this enchiridion of exotic cuisine? Well, the whole thing is intended to encourage safe sex as Japanese men are said to be the “third worst condom users in the world” and it is hoped Condom Meals I Want to Make for You will encourage both men and women to see condoms as more than “just contraceptive devices,” and use them more frequently—both in and out of the kitchen. 

However, anyone with a “penis allergy,” should note the condoms are only used for cooking and serving the food, rather than providing any nutritious goodness. You can order your copy here.
 
2condomcook.jpg
 
3condomcook.jpg
 
4cookcondo.jpg
 
H/T Nerdcore

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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Let Sir George Martin show you how to ‘produce’ a perfect martini
09.17.2014
05:36 am

Topics:
Drugs
Food
Music

Tags:
George Martin
martini


George and George, both lookin’ foxy
 
When I saw this little video of Sir George Martin giving martini-making lessons (an excerpt from his 2011 BBC profile documentary, Produced by George Martin), a few things struck me—besides, of course, his obvious foxyness, even at the age of eighty-goddamn-five.

1) A martini is made with gin. There is the (laughable and pale) variation, the “vodka martini,” but anyone ordering simply “a martini,” with no qualifiers, should expect gin. Complaints to the contrary will result in a face full of vermouth.

2) The bolder choice in mixing technique and the not-so-cliché garnish—always keep ‘em guessing, George!

3) Always—and this is pertinent—end with a dirty joke, as George does here. Stay charming! Prurient poetry, wit and wordplay can be the only difference between an insufferable drunk and an enchanting lush!

I hereby declare we rename this particular cocktail (with the lemon rind) the “George Martini”—who’s with me?
 

Posted by Amber Frost | Discussion
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Red peppers, milk, cocaine: David Bowie-themed menu from the big Bowie exhibit in Chicago
09.16.2014
10:41 am

Topics:
Food
Music

Tags:
David Bowie


 
In about a week residents of Chicagoland will be able to wallow in all things Bowie, as the much-acclaimed “David Bowie Is” exhibition makes its way there after its highly successful run in London’s Victoria & Albert Museum, which curated it in the first place. It will be showing at Chicago’s Museum of Contemporary Art, which will be the only U.S. museum to host the show. (The MCA is so excited about the show that there’s an actual countdown ticker on that page.)

Also so excited, as the Eater blog informs us, that they have created a special David Bowie-themed food and cocktails menu at the accompanying Puck’s Cafe, which means that you can expect a bunch of delicious creations thinly connected to various songs, albums, and movies from Bowie’s long and storied career. The “China Girl” cocktail description has the word “jasmin” in it, for instance.
 

 
In the mid-1970s, Bowie famously lived on a milk, red pepper, and cocaine diet—it’s noticeable that none of the items below feature any of those ingredients! It’s all just a huge missed opportunity. The special menu will be available on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays only. I live in Cleveland, so I might make my way up to Chicago one of these days to check it out.

Here are the menu pages (clicking will get you a larger image):
 

 
And a text rendering of same:
 

Ziggy Stardust Schmaltz $13
Assortment of cheeses: drunken goat cheese, crispy parmesan reggiano,delice de bourginone, truffled cream cheese, pickled beech mushrooms, candied cashews and grilled french baguette

Thin White Duke $8
Wolfgang Puck flatbread, fontina and mozzarella cheese, confit garlic, roasted tomatoes, cracked black pepper, arugula salad

Rebel Rebel Ruffage $8
Baby romaine and frisee salad, fried manchego , crispy carrot nest, balsamic vinaigrette

Modern Love $8
Smoked tofu and grapefruit salad, avocado mousse, curried rice cakes,garnished with watercress, lime and soy vinaigrette

Starman Wings $11
Boneless fried chicken, star anise and szechuan spiced,served with grilled pineapple

The Goblin Kings Favors $15
Trio of sliders;beef slider with aged cheddar and remoulade,chicken slider with bacon and onion jam, roasted tomato slider with eggplant and basil pesto

Cat People $14
Yellow fin tuna tartare, sesame chips, ponzu, deviled quail egg

Under Pressure $16
Grilled hanger steak, fingerling potato salad, charred scallions, truffle, balsamic gastrique

Golden Years $17
Seared diver scallops, crispy polenta cake, yellow tomato jam, shellfish consomme

Cocktails inspired by Bowie songs.

Starman $12
Citrus vodka, ruby red grape fruit juice, white cranberry juice,fresh lemon juice, elderflower liquor

Modern Love $10
White rum, raspberry-infused simple syrup,rose petals, sparkling wine

Rock And Roll Suicide $12
Red pop rocks, white rum, lemonade, raspberry puree, raspberry, lemon wedge

Rebel Rebel $12
Ginger sugar, honey-ginger syrup, sparkling wine, thymesprig, lemon wedge

China Girl $10
Citrus vodka, iced green tea, amoretti jasmin syrup, jasmin flower sprig

 

 

Posted by Martin Schneider | Discussion
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World’s first ever cake-themed edible Halloween ‘horror farm’
09.15.2014
10:07 am

Topics:
Animals
Art
Food

Tags:
Halloween
Miss Cakehead


 
As grotesque as the above image of a life-size slaughtered pig is, it’s actually a very well-crafted vegan cake made by Miss Cakehead. I’ve been following her work since 2009 and she never lets you down with her genius edible creations. Perhaps you’ll recall back in 2013 Miss Cakehead made a deliciously demented life-size Dexter cake in honor of the TV show’s final season.

This year for Halloween she’s outdone herself with the World’s first ever edible horror farm.

What is a horror farm you ask? Well don’t pry too much because we all know how the curious cat ended up… If you do want to come and investigate the strange goings on here though, you might do well to bring a friend – we don’t want anyone picked off. Those select few brave enough to venture into the woods will witness, gorge, and be hunted through the world’s most terrifying cake installation, and those that make it out will ensure it is THE most talked about scare attraction of 2014.

Now, I’m not entirely sure of this installation’s message since all the “animals” are made of cake. Is it to show meat is murder? The reality of a slaughterhouse? Or is it just a gross-out Halloween attraction that’s not really all that gross in the end? I don’t know.

The “edible horror farm” will be open to the public starting on October 29 and runs through November 1 in Letchworth Garden City, England. More then.

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Burger King goes ‘goth’ in Japan with their ‘Black Burger’ (and black cheese)
09.10.2014
03:08 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Food

Tags:
Goth
Burger King


 
Writing abysmal poetic laments, watching The Crow on endless loop, sleeping all day with your sunglasses on, and teasing your hair into a proper Robert Smith ape scrotum explosion can all add up to awfully hungry work, but regular food is so fucking conformist you could PUKE, and last we checked, there’s no such thing as SNACK Bar Sinister,* so when the pangs in your stomach echo the desperate, rapacious emptiness of your dismally fetid life itself, what’s a ravening Batcaver to do?

Luckily, Japan has the answer. Not the band (though they did have plenty of good tunes), but Japanese Burger King. Via Kotaku:

Burger King Japan is rolling out another “Kuro Burger” (“Black Burger”), with buns made from bamboo charcoal, an onion and garlic sauce made with squid ink, beef patties made with black pepper, and black cheese, which is also apparently made with bamboo charcoal.

There are two types of burgers: the Kuro (Black) Pearl and the Kuro (Black) Diamond with all the fixings. The burgers go on sale later this month in Japan for a limited time only

I’ve had pasta and paella colored black with squid ink, but the bamboo charcoal move is new to me. I assume it’s probably more or less flavorless in the quantities needed to render bread dough blacker than Clan of Xymox‘s sock drawer. Hopefully, Burger King’s Japanese execs read Dangerous Minds, and are working on a chicken sandwich made with Ayam Cemani chicken.
 

 

 
* Someone please do this, though.

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Discussion
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Goths and metalheads, is your heart black enough for the Indonesian Ayam Cemani Chicken?
09.09.2014
11:24 am

Topics:
Animals
Food

Tags:
chicken


 
The Ayam Cemani Chicken is notable for a couple of things. First of all, partially due to its rarity, especially outside of its native Indonesia, one Ayam Cemani will run you about $2,500. Second, it is clearly the chicken of Our Dark Lord and Savior Satan! The birds exhibit the genetic condition “fibromelanosis,” which renders them totally black—we’re talking feathers, skin, organs, bones, the works. Only their blood is red, albeit a very dark shade.

Frankly, I think such a cool-looking evil luxury animal could be a perfect mascot for some underwordly music subculture. Sure, chickens are not usually associated with the darkness, but stranger pairings have been made—Leather Nun doing ABBA’s “Gimme Gimme Gimme,” for example, is pretty delicious! And if you’re vegetarian, it could make a very suitable avian familiar. Check out the video below for some decidedly unholy clucking—I assume if you play the video backwards you can hear the voice of Beezlebub.
 

Yum?
 

Hail Satan.
 

Gaze into the blackness of its soul
 

 
Via Geekologie

Posted by Amber Frost | Discussion
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