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File under ‘Russian mystic recipes’: How to make Gurdjieff’s special salad
06.24.2016
11:42 am

Topics:
Food
Occult

Tags:
Gurdjieff


 
It’s hot. It’s miserable. If you wash down a triple cheeseburger and a bucket of fries with a milkshake in this weather, you could die.

Why not whip up a batch of Mr. Gurdjieff’s special salad instead?

Gurdjieff’s teaching is very strange and doesn’t lend itself to summarization, but one of the fundamental ideas is that people are asleep and need to wake up. (Colin Wilson named his book on Gurdjieff The War Against Sleep.) Approached with care and full attention, all sorts of everyday tasks can aid in waking up, especially preparing and eating food. As Dushka and Jessmin Howarth—Gurdjieff’s daughter and her mother, respectively—explain in It’s Up To Ourselves:

Of all the examples Gurdjieff might have used to illustrate the essential aspect of his teaching, “quality of attention,” he chose the one experience that all human beings share: “When you do a thing, do it with the whole self, one thing at a time. Now I sit here and I eat. For me nothing exists in the world except this food, this table. I eat with the whole attention. So you must do—in everything. To be able to do one thing at a time—this is the property of man, not man in quotation marks.”

So if you eat this salad with the right kind of attention, maybe you’ll learn something. And if you believe John Shirley, Gurdjieff’s salad cured Frank Lloyd Wright’s gallbladder trouble, so maybe it will mend your aunt’s dyspeptic gut, too.
 

Gurdjieff at the dining table with his student, Lord Pentland
 
Gurdjieff’s niece, Luba, describes the preparation of the special salad in her Memoir with Recipes but does not give measurements or step-by-step instructions, presumably because Gurdjieff never made the salad the same way twice. She warns that preparing the dish takes all day and “costs the earth,” since you “put anything you can find” in it:

Chopped tomatoes, cucumbers, radishes, celery, any vegetables you can find — only raw vegetables. Not lettuce, because lettuce gets very soft. It used to have nuts in it; it used to have green olives you cut in pieces away from the stone; it used to have sometimes prunes in small pieces — it was like a dustbin. Chutney — he used to put lots of chutney. Sweet chutney that must be cut in small pieces, because chutney generally comes in nice big pieces. And he used to like those little green things in vinegar — capers. Twenty, thirty things used to go in that salad. Sometimes he would even put apples — any kind apples. I think he would put anything he could find in there.

There was always put in some tomato ketchup. I remember they used to bring it from England because we couldn’t find any in Paris. And dressing he just put on a little bit vinegar and then some oil.

The Howarths’ book gives its own recipe for the special salad, which you can find here, but this recipe from the Gurdjieff Foundation of Del Mar is the least intimidating of the bunch and certainly does not “cost the earth”:

1 large sweet onion, finely chopped
4 very red tomatoes, diced in half inch pieces
2 cucumbers, diced in half inch pieces (pickling or goutas with the smaller seeds)
3-4 pickled cucumbers diced small
¾ cup freshly squeezed grapefruit juice
1 cup pickle juice
¾ cup apple cider
¾ cup tomato juice
1 Tbsp tomato paste
3-4 Tbsp Dijon mustard
1 Tbsp white sugar
1 pint apple chutney, diced into ½” pieces
1 handful finely chopped parsley
1 handful finely chopped fresh dill
Salt, pepper, cayenne, paprika and curry powder to taste.
Tarragon

This recipe will serve twelve to fifteen people depending on the size of the portions. Since this is such a special dish (and it is also time consuming to dice all the vegetables), you will want to prepare this for company. However it does keep well for three or four days after it marinates, and I love having leftovers as the flavors get a bit stronger each day.

As you dice the vegetables add each of them to a large mixing bowl and mix. Add the juices, the tomato paste, the mustard, the sugar and the chutney and mix again. Add the parsley, dill and the seasonings. It should be pleasantly hot and spicy. Cover and marinate in a cool place for two days before serving. Add a bit of tarragon before serving.

More Gurdjieff after the jump…

Posted by Oliver Hall | Leave a comment
Switzerland to open Europe’s very first ‘fellatio cafe’
06.24.2016
10:54 am

Topics:
Food
Sex

Tags:
Switzerland
fellatio


 
An establishment where customers would receive oral sex while drinking lattes and cappuccinos is anticipated to open in Geneva, Switzerland, by the end of 2016.

The “fellatio cafe,” as it is being termed, is based on similar establishments in Thailand—the cafe would cater to men (yes, just men) ordering a coffee and choosing their preferred prostitute on an iPad.

The company behind the plan is called FaceGirl. For an upfront fee of £42 (about $60) patrons would receive a morning joe job while drinking their beverage at the bar.

A representative from the company named Bradley Charvet told the newspaper Le Matin that “In five or ten minutes, it’s all over.”

In Switzerland, prostitution is legal and sex workers are required to have permits to operate. Establishments with 2 or more prostitutes are required to register as massage parlors.
 
via Dazed

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
Man vapes world’s hottest chilli pepper. It doesn’t end well for him.
06.17.2016
12:34 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Food

Tags:
Russel Hawkins


 

“Don’t try this bullshit at home”—Russell Hawkins

Everyone meet Russell Hawkins. Mr. Hawkins grows Carolina Reaper chili peppers. The Carolina Reaper is currently ranked as the hottest pepper in the world and Hawkins decided—for whatever reason—to vape the shit out of his homegrown pepper stash. Not only does he vape the pepper on video, he proceeds to snort some (why not?) and then rub some in eyes (why not?). Sounds like a plan to me.

As you can imagine, none of this ends well. At the end of the video, you find yourself asking, “How in the hell is this man still alive?” Methinks Hawkins has been vaping the Carolina Reaper a lot longer than he admits to.

The video really gets going around the 3:27 mark. Enjoy!

 
via Geekologie

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
A Rolling Stone’s trippy ‘Last Supper’: That time Brian Jones thought he was a goat and ate himself

0_1bjtrident.jpg
 
In 1968 the artist Brion Gysin invited Rolling Stones guitarist Brian Jones to record a group of traditional Jbala Sufi trance musicians—better known as the Master Musicians—perform at the village of Jajouka in northern Morocco.

Gysin had long been familiar with the Master Musicians having been introduced to them and “Joujouka” music by writer Paul Bowles in 1950. Gysin thought the music of “the people of Pan” would be of some interest to Jones. Jones agreed. He traveled with Gysin to Jajouka, accompanied by his then girlfriend Suki Potier, recording engineer George Chkiantz, and painter/folklorist Mohamed Hamri.

Morocco was a favorite holiday destination for the Rolling Stones as it offered easy access to marijuana. Keith Richards later described the experience as a fantasy where they were “transported” and…

You could be Sinbad the Sailor, One Thousand and One Nights.

Jones used a Uher recorder to capture the songs performed by the Master Musicians. These recordings included songs for Jajouka’s “most important religious holiday festival, Aid el Kbir” when a young boy is dressed as Bou Jeloud the Goat God in the “skin of a freshly slaughtered goat.” The boy then runs around the village as the music becomes increasingly frenzied. Gysin claimed this was a ritual to protect the villagers’ health. He said the festival harked back to an ancient pre-Roman festival Lupercalia, held in mid-February as a cleansing and fertility ritual to ward off evil spirits.
 
0_1brston3.jpg
 
As Gysin later told Stanley Booth (and a very drunk William Burroughs) in a rambling tale in 1970—as recounted Booth’s book The True Adventures of the Rolling Stones—Jones and his companions were guests at traditional meal in the village, when Jones had an epiphanic vision—or more likely he tripped out—and believed himself to be a goat.

‘I would really like to talk about Joujouka and what that music is and what Brian got on tape and how it ever happened that he got there. How does he [Jones] appear in your book?’

‘Brian? As—well—sort of—as a little goat god, I suppose.’

‘I have a funny tale which I’ll tell you about just that. A very funny thing happened up there. The setting was extremely theatrical in that we were sitting under a porch of a house made of wattles and mud. Very comfortable place, cushions were laid around like a little theatre, like the box of an old-fashioned theatre, and a performance was going on in the courtyard. And at one moment—dinner obviously had to be somewhere in the offing, like about an hour away, everybody was beginning to think about food—and we had these acetylene lamps, giving a great very theatrical glow to the whole scene, rather like limelight used to be, a greenish sort of tone.’

[Okay Brion we get the picture it was very very very very very very theatrical…now get on with the story….]

‘And the most beautiful goat that anybody had ever seen—pure white!—was suddenly led right across the scene, between Brian and Suki and Hamri and me [...] so quickly that for a moment hardly anybody realized at all what was happening, until Brian leapt to his feet, and he said, “That’s me!” and was pulled down and sort of subsided, and the music went on, and it went on for a few minutes like that, and moments lengthened into an hour, or two hours, which can sometimes be three hours or four hours or five hours—-’

‘Long as it takes to kill a goat,’ Burroughs said.

‘—and we were absolutely ravenous, when Brian realized he was eating the same white goat.’

‘How did he take that?’

‘He said, “It’s like Communion.”’

‘“This is my body,’” I [Booth] said. ‘But Jesus didn’t eat himself, he fed the others.’

‘If he’d been sensible, he’d have eaten Judas,’ Burroughs said. ‘I’m gonna eat Graham Greene next time I see him. Gulp!’

Continues after the jump…

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Giant inflatable pizza pool float
05.31.2016
09:17 am

Topics:
Amusing
Food

Tags:
pizza


 
Well, this isn’t exactly one inflatable pizza float. It’s individual inflatable pizza slices connected to look like one giant pizza. Amusing.

If you want to do something like this on your own, the indidual 6-foot by 5-foot pizza slice sells for $36.99 here. Now how you would tether all the pizza slices together to create one giant floating pizza is beyond me. You guys are smart, though.  I’m sure you can figure it out.

via Nerdcore

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Cooking with the Butthole Surfers: Gibby Haynes’ dessert and drink recipes
05.27.2016
10:35 am

Topics:
Food
Music
Punk

Tags:
Butthole Surfers
Gibby Haynes


 
If you were going to ask musicians for recipes, the Butthole Surfers might seem like unlikely candidates. There isn’t a Martha Stewart type among them; indeed, their dancer, Kathleen, once mixed her own urine in with the macaroni and cheese. But reading through the band’s old interviews has more in common with taking a Home Ec class than you might expect.

“I can cook a bad-ass peach cobbler,” Gibby Haynes bragged in the June ‘86 issue of SPIN. The interview concluded with the recipe for Gibby’s Spillane Peach Cobbler, named for Haynes’ old college basketball teammate Jeff Spillane, whom Gibby named alongside Ed Asner as one of the band’s heroes:

He’s this weird kind of straight guy with heavy beard growth and a hairy chest. He’s a nice guy, but he’s kind of geeky. He used to wear this lime-green polyester leisure suit. He’s the first person I ever saw light a fart. We usually sing songs that have Jeff Spillane in them, like “Back on Spillane’s Gang.” I think he’s now an accountant somewhere.

 

 
SPIN doesn’t say if Gibby read these very precise instructions off the back of a foxed, four-by-six recipe card inked with a grandmotherly scrawl, or (as I prefer to imagine) reeled them off from memory.

GIBBY’S SPILLANE PEACH COBBLER

Stir together ½ t. salt and 2 c. flour. Cut in ½ c. shortening until crumbly. Add ⅓ c. milk and stir with a fork until the dough leaves the sides of the bowl. On a lightly floured board, roll the dough into a rectangle a little less than ¼ in. thick. Put it on a baking sheet and bake it at 425° until it’s lightly browned. Then put mixed-up water, brown sugar, egg white, and cinnamon [5 egg whites, ¾ c. water, ½ c. brown sugar, ¼ t. cinnamon] on top of the crust and bake it until it foams up like a custard. When it starts to look cooked, take it out and put sliced fresh peaches on it. It’s amazing. It’s a killer dessert.

Gibby also gave a cocktail recipe to Fiz, a short-lived, strongly pro-alcohol punk magazine from Los Angeles. In the 23 years since that issue of Fiz hit the newsstand, I’ve never mustered the courage to fix a Bloody Leroy for myself, but I imagine it would complement the peach cobbler very nicely when dining al fresco on a summer evening. The interview it accompanied outlined the band’s plans for a Joy Division game show in which contestants guess what Ian Curtis is singing (“You get points for correct answers and more points for better answers which are incorrect”), and is worth reading, though the transcription omits the drink recipe. From my personal tear-stained copy of the March/April ‘93 issue of Fiz, here’s the “BADASS BUTTHOLE BEVERAGE” you didn’t know you craved:

GIBBY HAYNES’ BLOODY LEROY

The best drink is barbecue sauce and vodka with a twist of lemon. The barbecue sauce has gotta be real thin. Stir it with a rip up. It’s badass. It’s cold. A Bloody Leroy!

Below, whet your appetite with the savory Buttholes rarity “Beat the Press.”
 

Posted by Oliver Hall | Leave a comment
Visit the world’s first ‘raccoon cafe’
05.20.2016
04:19 pm

Topics:
Animals
Food

Tags:
coffee
raccoons


Cong kisses a guest
 
You ever look at raccoon headlines in the news? They’re often amusing or interesting. Right now on Google News you’ll find the headlines “Raccoon Takes Out Power to Thousands” (Wisconsin) and “Burglary Suspect Turns Out to Be Raccoon” (Florida) and “Raccoon Moved, Twice” (Connecticut).

If you find any of those stories worth clicking on, then you’ll surely be interested in an establishment called Blind Alley in Seoul, South Korea, which counts among its primary features two live raccoons—their names are Cong (male) and Milk (female)—and patrons have the option of staying in the “normal room” (where food can be consumed) or entering the “raccoon room,” in which they can interact with the furry creatures.

The cafe has been a mecca for raccoon lovers for about a year and a half, when Han Song-hee took over the establishment gave Cong and Milk the run of the place. Those who are dubious about the whole concept of a raccoon cafe might be mollified to hear that one of the pair of raccoons was rescued:
 

I adopted Cong from a breeder. Cong’s family has been domesticated from his grandmother’s generation. Since he was alone, I wanted to get him a friend. Milk was one of those raccoons imported to China and destined for pelt or fur coats. I was able to adopt her from one of [the] animal importers.

 
In my experience, there’s not much middle ground on raccoons—either you find them super-cute or you detest them—and that’s If you don’t happen to have a debilitating fear of them. It’s clear who Blind Alley’s target audience is, anyway.

The author of the book on raccoons—literally, he wrote Raccoons, A Natural History—Sam Zeveloff isn’t sure the raccoon cafe is such a good idea: “Raccoons, like other wild animals, typically are not good pets, given that their behaviors are incompatible with ours. ... We should interact carefully with them, from a distance.” Not surprisingly, Zeveloff understands the attraction, however: “Their striking masks, impish faces, lustrous fur, and ringed tails are all aesthetically appealing.”

 

Milk on a walkway
 
More after the jump…

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
China bans live streams of women ‘eating bananas seductively’
05.09.2016
11:11 am

Topics:
Food
Science/Tech
Sex

Tags:
censorship
China
bananas


 
Lately it’s become a trend in China for live streaming websites to feature women eating fruits—especially bananas—in an “erotic” manner. The authorities in China, however, are not amused, and have moved to block distribution of the images.

As part of the Chinese government’s crackdown on “inappropriate” online content, Chinese live-streaming video services are banned from showing images of women filming themselves while eating bananas “erotically,” China’s state-run CCTV news reported last week. The details of what is and isn’t legal have not yet been set, but people featuring themselves in live streams are henceforth barred from eating “bananas seductively” in front of the camera.

On April 14 China’s Culture Ministry announced an investigation of popular live-broadcast websites for “allegedly providing content that contains pornography or violence and encourages viewers to break laws and harms social morality.”

On Thursday, CCTV reported that the targeted websites had already moved to restrict the behavior of some of the most popular hosts, which were “predominately attractive women showing their cleavage.”

The draconian new regulations require live-streaming sites to monitor their output 24 hours a day to make sure that explicit material is not broadcast.

Some Chinese social media users think that the new regulations can be circumvented by dispensing with bananas. “They will all start eating cucumbers, and if that’s no good, yams,” one user commented. (I am reminded of this song. Wait for the punchline)

Here’s an example of the kinds of streams that will no longer be allowed:

 
via Dazed

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
Klaus Nomi salt & pepper shakers
05.05.2016
10:26 am

Topics:
Amusing
Food
Movies

Tags:
Klaus Nomi


 
Just when you think you’ve seen everything—like the Steve Buscemi bikini—you come across an item like Klaus Nomi salt & pepper shakers. Now I would have never thought this up in a million years, but yet here we are. Looking at them.

The set sells for $35 by Etsy shop Yokai John. It looks like there’s two different sets in the listing for the Nomi shakers. If you do wish to order these, I’d be specific with the seller about which set you want. The listing’s a bit confusing.


 

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Gorillas make up ‘little food songs’ while they eat: Listen to them here
05.02.2016
02:38 pm

Topics:
Animals
Food
Music

Tags:
gorillas


 
According to an article by Brian Owens in New Scientist, a German scientist working in the Congo has discovered a fun new fact about gorillas, that they hum and even sing during mealtimes. Food-related calls had been documented in chimpanzees and bonobos, but never in gorillas.

But far from just vocalizing, gorillas appear to generate two different types of sound while eating. One of them was “a steady low-frequency tone” that sounds rather like a sigh of contentment, or a hum:
 

 
The other was “a series of short, differently pitched notes” which resembles “a random melody”:
 

 
And it’s not like they “sing the same song over and over,” commented Luef. “It seems like they are composing their little food songs.”

According to Ali Vella-Irving of the Toronto Zoo, “Each gorilla has its own voice: you can really tell who’s singing. And if it’s their favorite food, they sing louder.”

The behaviors, however, differ according to whether the primates are in captivity or not. In zoos every individual sings during meals, but Luef found that in the wild “it was generally only dominant silverback males that sang and hummed while eating.”

She speculated that vocalizing might be the silverback’s method of informing the group that the meal is not yet concluded and that the time to move on has not yet arrived. “He’s the one making the collective decisions for the group,” Luef says. “We think he uses this vocalization to inform the others ‘OK, now we’re eating.’”

Because there is so much variation in calls both between individuals and species, food calls provide a good way to study the origin of language, says Zanna Clay, a psychologist at the University of Birmingham: “It gives a good insight into the origin of meaning in animal signals, and also the social pressures that might drive the flexibility we see in language.”

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
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