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Bizarre lollipop flavors including breast milk, beer, booze, and blue cheese?
02.24.2017
09:18 am

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Amusing
Food

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The Intergalactic Garble Blaster lollipop by Lolliphile. The fruity/ginny-flavored sucker is a nod to the 1979 novel by Douglas Adams, ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.’
 
So as I was attempting to deprogram my brain last night while watching an episode of competitive cooking show Chopped (don’t judge), I was intrigued by one of the basket ingredients that was forced upon the contestants—a blue cheese-flavored lollipop. As I’d never heard of such an abomination, I decided to see if I could find out who came up with this strange food hybrid. Which I did and now I’m taking all of you faithful Dangerous Minds readers down with me because the power of Austin confectioner Lolliphile compels me.

There are 30 different flavors of suckers to choose from on Lolliphile’s site that run the gamut of gross to “shut up and take my money.” Such as the following more inventive flavors: “Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster” (a fruity/ginny nod to Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy), the “Salty Dog” which tastes like a salty Greyhound cocktail, and one simply called Pizza which is fairly self-explanatory. Lolliphile’s gourmet suckers ain’t cheap and four will run you eight bucks, with packs of six, three flavor combos nicely priced at twelve dollars each. I’ve included a few images of Lolliphile’s suckers along with their flavor profiles below. More information and ordering can be found here. A few combo packs, such as one featuring six individual sucker flavors, Wasabi Ginger; Breast Milk; Sriracha; Chocolate Bacon; Bleu Cheese, and Pizza, can be purchased on Amazon.
 

A Breast Milk flavored lollipop. According to Lolliphile their team of flavor specialists created the confection after taste-testing actual breast milk and made a vegan lollipop that tastes just like the real thing. Get them here.
 
More after the jump…

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Salvador Dalí on how to eat sea urchins
02.24.2017
09:06 am

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Art
Food

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Someday I hope to see Luis Buñuel’s 1930 short film Menjant garotes (Eating Sea Urchins). Discovered in a biscuit tin that belonged to Salvador Dalí‘s sister, Ana Maria, after her death, it’s a home movie of Dalí‘s family gobbling echinoderms in Cadaqués, shot around the same time as L’Âge d’or.

Sea urchins were a favorite dish of Dalí‘s, and they figure in the initiatory path he lays out in his guide to becoming a painter, Fifty Secrets of Magic Craftsmanship. It’s not an easy path to follow; even if you manage to pull off the instructions he gives you, what about the ones for your valet and your maid? Secret Number Four, “the secret of the sea-urchin slumber,” is relatively practicable:

To begin with, you will eat three dozen sea urchins, gathered on one of the last two days that precede the full moon, choosing only those whose star is coral red and discarding the yellow ones. The collaboration of the moon in such cases is necessary, for otherwise not only do you risk that the sea urchins will be more empty but above all that they do not possess to the same degree the sedative and narcotic virtues so special and so propitious to your approaching slumber. For the same reason these sea urchins should be eaten preferably in the spring—May is a good month. But in choosing the time you must make the gathering of the sea urchins coincide with the precise moment when the first tender new beans are picked, and this varies according to the years. These tender beans, prepared in the manner called à la Catalane, are to be the second course of your meal, and I guarantee you that this is a dish worthy of the ancient gods and quite Homeric, for I am convinced that the Greeks of antiquity were acquainted with it and therefore that they were also familiar with chocolate—for, strange as this may seem, the tender beans à la Catalane are in fact prepared with chocolate as a base.

After washing this down “with a light, very young wine,” you are to take a four-and-a-half hour nap preliminary to staring at your blank canvas “for a long, long time.”

More after the jump…

Posted by Oliver Hall | Leave a comment
FAILCHIPS: The World’s Tastiest Mistake
02.13.2017
04:34 pm

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Food

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There’s a term that’s used in many businesses, specifically in the manufacturing, shipping, trucking, and retailing sectors: “Breakage.” It’s pretty obvious what that means, of course, as is the definition of a common term heard around the food and restaurant industries: “Spoilage.”

Accounting for breakage and spoilage can cost American companies billions of dollars each year. It’s a serious problem with no easy solutions. Of course, they sell insurance for such eventualities at every stop along the way, from factory or farm to retail shelves, but that cost is simply passed on to the consumers.

A product that was immune to breakage and immune to spoilage? Well, that would be the Holy Grail of foodstuffs, no?

And what if that miracle product didn’t weigh that much and was easy to ship?

A product like that can’t just be conjured out of thin air, though, can it?

We imagine the birth of FAILCHIPS went something like this…

SCENE: A CORPORATE BOARDROOM ON MADISON AVENUE.

“What are we gonna do with all of these millions of bags of smashed-up potato chips?”

“Can we give them to charity?”

“For a tax write-off? That’s one idea. Anyone else?”

“Why don’t we simply re-brand the leftover potato chip crumbs? Call them something ironic—like “FAILCHIPS”—and sell ‘em to hipsters?”

STUNNED, UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE IN THE ROOM. EVERYONE PRESENT LOOKS DOWN AND SHUFFLES PAPERS NERVOUSLY. YOU CAN HEAR A PIN DROP, THEN THE BOSS SPEAKS.

“You’re an evil genius, Randall… Any ideas for how we can rebrand all of that rancid beef I’m sitting on in Wichita?”
 

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Ernest Hemingway’s cocktail recipe for bad times
01.25.2017
10:20 am

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Amusing
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In 1937, American novelist, short story writer, and journalist, Ernest Hemingway came up with his own cocktail recipe called “Death in the Gulf Stream” for dealing with shitty times:

Take a tall thin water tumbler and fill it with finely cracked ice.

Lace this broken debris with 4 good purple splashes of Angostura, add the juice and crushed peel of 1 green lime, and fill glass almost full with Holland gin…

No sugar, no fancying. It’s strong, it’s bitter — but so is English ale strong and bitter, in many cases.

We don’t add sugar to ale, and we don’t need sugar in a “Death in the Gulf Stream” — or at least not more than 1 tsp. Its tartness and its bitterness are its chief charm.

Tartness and its bitterness, eh? Sounds perfect for 2017. I’d love to try this at least once, but I’m terrible on gin. Won’t you make one and tell me how it tastes?


 
via Das Kraftfuttermischwerk

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Touch of Basil: Orson Welles’ spicy salad recipe
01.06.2017
08:53 am

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Food
Movies

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While waiting for the third volume of Simon Callow’s Orson Welles biography to arrive in the mail, I’ve been watching a number of movies by and about Welles. Among them is a documentary that was to have aired on French TV in May 1968, before regular programming was preempted by real life. Portrait: Orson Welles is one of the bonus features on the Criterion edition of The Immortal Story, released last year, and in it Welles shows how he made a salad.

The instructions below are a composite of Welles’ words and those of the documentary’s French narrator. I can’t help you reconstruct Orson’s proprietary blend of dried herbs, but I do know where you can find sherry vinegar from Jerez.

I used to be a very keen, if messy, amateur cook. But in the last years—14 years now since I married Paola—I haven’t been allowed in the kitchen. So the only cooking—the only messing about, rather, that I’m permitted—is the salad[...]

I use dried herbs. This is basil; we use fresh basil when our friends bring it from Italy. Two different kinds of mixed herbs that I prepare myself, and a little garlic salt, and the olive oil; we have very good olive oil for salads in Spain. Of course, the secret of all is the vinegar, which comes to us from our friends in Jerez, where the sherry is made. This delicious vinegar is made from a mix of sherry and wine. Some lemon, pressed in this little German device which looks a little cruel, but it’s very efficient. A bit of pepper and salt, and very important, Tabasco, that great American invention. Be generous with that. And now after this has been mixed—I haven’t been given a fork, as I usually have, so I can’t mix it as well—a bit more oil, and we should be [Welles tastes the salad dressing] ready.

The salad itself, of course, is carefully dried and then put in the icebox to chill. It’s a simple lettuce that grows right outside the house. And we’re ready.

Cut to Jeanne Moreau, facing the camera in a severe sixties dress decorated with a labyrinth glyph, reading from Paul Valéry’s “Fluctuations on Freedom”; and then to Welles at the lunch table, improvising a monologue as Richard Nixon, in which the candidate promises to restore a “true blue America” by wiping out the Irish, Jews, and blacks.

More after the jump…

Posted by Oliver Hall | Leave a comment
Own your own vintage Irish whiskey vending machine
12.27.2016
10:43 am

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Drugs
Food

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For the lush who has everything, we present this 1971 vintage Jameson’s whiskey vending machine.

It’s new old stock in the original packaging, and dispenses a glass of Jameson’s when fed with three (1960s to 1980s vintage) Irish 10p coins. And it’s actually for sale (a mere €850—approximately $888 USD). The seller is offering free shipping, worldwide.

The site selling this gorgeous novelty, RareIrishStuff.com, says that the machine dispenses 1/3 gill measurement of whiskey and that the machines were designed for use in shops, offices, and pubs in 1971.

According to the site, the machines have been in storage for 45 years, and may need some minor reconditioning to achieve working order.

Still, I couldn’t imagine anything cooler for a home bar—as long as you have a good supply of out-of-circulation Irish 10p coins handy.

See this baby in action after the jump…

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Happy Hanukkah, and SMASH THE STATE! Making gefilte fish with Abbie Hoffman
12.23.2016
10:27 am

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Food
Politics

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Way, way back in 1989, The Jewish Telegraphic Agency wrote an obituary of the then-recently deceased activist/organizer/author/provocateur Abbot Howard “Abbie” Hoffman, calling him an “activist with Jewish soul.” That, he was, 100%. There was plenty to criticize about the man—he could be arrogant, and he contributed significantly to the Baby Boom’s decoupling of the left from the labor movement, a move that significantly damaged both institutions—but he brought theatricality and exuberance to the often humorless politics of the left, and he was motivated by a genuine and irrepressible desire to see the spoils of America’s prosperity and justice offered to ALL of its citizens.

Hoffman addressed the Jewish foundations of his political ethos in his autobiography Soon to Be a Major Motion Picture, and those connections were discussed in his JTA obit:

“Judaism has never been so much a religion to me as a noble history and a cluster of stereotypes. Jews, especially first-born male Jews, have to make a big choice very quickly in life whether to go for the money or to go for broke.”

Hoffman never made a lot of money, preferring to eschew the life of the yuppie in order to remain loyal to his roots as a Yippie. It conformed with his self-identity as the perennial outsider, a role he viewed as an extension of his Jewishness.

“As a kid, I went to the rabbis and said, ‘What do you think of Philip Roth or Norman Mailer or Joseph Heller, you know, those kinds of writers,’ ” Hoffman told the New Jewish Times newspaper in 1980.

“They would say, ‘Not good for the Jews. Too much self-ridicule, too much mockery.’ But I think this is the destiny for the Jews: to be rebels, to question society. And to be funny. We’re philosophers and comedians.”

More after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
70s Dinner Party recalls the glory days when cookbooks were fucking horrorshows
12.20.2016
08:27 am

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Amusing
Books
Food

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The appallingly unappetizing dishes and photography of 50s-70s cookbooks have been choice fodder for mockery for a long time, and it’s easy to see why. The unreal colors produced by the era’s photographic and printing technologies do nothing to help the repellent appearance of mystery meats and bizarre assemblages in aspic. I even keep a few old school cookbooks around solely for the photos—I doubt I’ll ever actually cook too many of these things, as almost everything pictured resembles the symptoms of loathsome diseases, and no recipe with “delight” or “surprise” in its name has ever lived up to its billing. Here are a few exemplary images from my copy of the 1961 edition of Betty Crocker’s New Picture Cookbook (and looking at the asking prices for that book: thank you, mom, for never throwing that away). Unappetizing though these are—I don’t love ham salad, but I also don’t think it’s supposed to put one in mind of an Eldritch Abomination—they’re tame compared to what’s to come below.
 

 

 

 
More—oh you know there’s more—after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
Disturbing edible fetal skulls, chocolate Vincent Price face, candy ouija boards & much, much more!
12.09.2016
12:51 pm

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Art
Food

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Chocolate Vincent Price life-mask
 
Ever wanted to taste Vincent Price’s face? Well now’s your chance with these macabre chocolate treats by Conjurer’s Kitchen. Not only is there an edible Vincent Price life-mask, but there’s chocolate conjoined fetal skulls, baby head lollipops, a diseased dental jaw bone made of white chocolate and an edible flamingo skull!

To top off this chocolatey weirdness, there are edible Christmas cards that look like ouija boards. I love it!

So for that special person in your life who’s into odd shit, might I’d suggest one of these treats as a holiday gift? I’m sure you’d blow their socks off!


Chocolate conjoined twins skulls
 

Doll head lollipops
 
More after the jump…

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
KFC scented candles ARE A THING
12.07.2016
10:54 am

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Amusing
Food

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Ever wanted your home to smell like greasy fried chicken made with eleven herbs and spices? Well now is your chance with this KFC chicken-scented candle. I’ve heard of bacon-scented candles before, but not fried chicken. I can’t imagine that it smells too good, but your mileage may vary.

Sadly, these candles aren’t available to purchase just yet as they’re part of a social media KFC giveaway contest. If you’d like to take part and try to win one of these puppies, click here.

And no, this isn’t stealthy paid advertorial. I just thought this candle was totally gross. That doesn’t mean I didn’t fall for the bait of reblogging their contest hook, line and sinker, of course…

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
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