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Ridiculous plateware shaped like specific foods
03.23.2015
08:45 am

Topics:
Amusing
Design
Food

Tags:
plateware


Breaded fish and rice
 
Here’s a whimsical and marvelously impractical plateware idea from Kahla at 5.5 Design Studio: plates designed to fit specific meals. The idea is that you can plan out your week this way, with “Daily Menu Plates” for breaded fish, a chicken leg, a single sausage, and so on.

The drawback of the plan becomes apparent when you try to consider what happens in week 2, of course. Equally obviously, flat plates designed to hold a hamburger will hold a lobster roll equally well.

Here is the explanatory text from Kahla:
 

Au quotidien, les plats qui composent et définissent notre alimentation de base sont souvent un peu archétypaux : jambon / coquillettes, Poulet / frites, côtelette / petits pois, poisson pané / riz.

«Daily Menu» est une collection d’assiettes biomorphiques qui joue de ces clichés et qui nous accompagne tout au long de la semaine. Ces assiettes fonctionnent comme des fiches recettes pour nous suggérer des idées de repas quand le manque d’inspiration nous envahit. A chaque jour son plat et à chaque plat son assiette!

In everyday life, the dishes that make up and define our basic food are often a little archetypal: ham / macaroni, chicken / fries, chop / peas, breaded fish / rice.

“Daily Menu” is a collection of biomorphic plates that plays with these clichés and accompanies us throughout the week. These plates function as recipe cards to suggest meal ideas when lack of inspiration strikes. Each day has its plate and each dish his plate!

 
Shit, I could really go for some bangers and mash right now….
 

Chicken and fries
 

Chop and peas
 
More of these things after the jump…

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
We want plates! Heroic citizens take a stand against stupid foodie presentation
03.20.2015
07:19 am

Topics:
Amusing
Food

Tags:
food
We Want Plates
foodies


Tiny picnic table, but no tiny plates for ease and convenience.
 
Plates are a pretty ingenious feat of design—a largely flat surface for solid foods, with the perimeter curled upward, ever-so-slightly, so as to contain any wily or runny food as you chow down. It’s a simple, yet elegant, way to dine, but somehow there is this absurd foodie trend of eschewing the noble plate in favor of… basically everything that is not a fucking plate. These are not restaurants I patronize, mind you, these are restaurants I boycott, because while I can appreciate creative culinary presentation, I refuse to eat anywhere that appears to value flash over utility, and apparently I am not alone in just wanting my fucking food served on a fucking plate. This is nowhere close to being “too much to ask for.” A plate???

Enter the noble citizens of We Want Plates, a heroic organization “Crusading against food being served on bits of wood and roof tiles. Chips in little buckets, peas in flowerpots and jam-jar drinks can do one too.” You can join them on Twitter and Facebook, where they publicize the most egregious offenders in hope of shaming them back to their senses. Foodie novelty must be stopped!
 

Butter… served on a pebble.
 

Just paper on a plank—not even a little novelty value to compensate for the fact that you egg yolk is about to run any which way.
 

A ping pong paddle. Note the running sauce/moisture/whatever.
 

Oh come on!
 
More of this idiocy after the jump…

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
Send your enemy a bag of dicks
03.18.2015
03:58 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Food

Tags:
bag of dicks


Gummy dick
 
Forget about those anonymous “glitterbomb” envelopes—so last year—Dicks By Mail is the new kid in town with edible dicks in a bag. They’ll send a bag of dicks to anyone you want ‘em to.

For a mere $15 the company will send an anonymous bag of phallic-shaped gummy candies to your enemy with a note that reads “Eat a bag of dicks.”

It’s simple. It’s easy.

According to their FAQ section:

Who should I send a bag of dicks to?

It’s been said that people, on average, are able to keep a close network of about 250 people in their lives. I recommend all of them. However, the top 10 list of people to send a bags of dicks to are…is?...are;

1) Coworkers
2) Ex Girlfriend/Boyfriend
3) Roommates/Landlords
4) Your best Friend
5) The Westboro Baptist Church
6) Teachers
7) Your estranged father
8) President Obama
9) The man that killed your father/brother/dog
10) Frank Stallone

It appears they come in assorted flavors, so the person you send them to may really dig ‘em. Everyone likes some variety when it comes to a bag of dicks.

What did Frank Stallone ever do to them, I wonder, to deserve a bag of dicks?


 
via Daily Dot

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Oh nuts: Company ordered to call inferior meatballs just ‘balls’
03.11.2015
06:27 am

Topics:
Food

Tags:
balls

balls
 
Finnish food behemoth Kesko has been ordered by its government to stop telling the public that their crappy meatballs have any actual meat in them. The manufacturers have been advertising that their meatball-like product is high in meat, which an investigation has proven false.

According to a story on Finnish news service Yle, Kesko has to rename their product “pyöryköitä” (“balls” in English) after a probe “revealed that it contained only machine-recovered meat, essentially scraps, which are not defined as meat…”

A rep for Kesko stated that the scrappy balls “have the equivalent of 52 percent meat. However according to current legislation, they aren’t those parts of the animal that can be described as meat.”

Mmmm…delicious, delicious machine-recovered not-meat scraps.

via HappyPlace

Posted by Rusty Blazenhoff | Leave a comment
Queen of Shock Rock Wendy O. Williams’ mega-healthy salad dressing recipe


 
Despite the sledgehammers, chainsaws and occasional police-instigated violence that became heavily associated with Plasmatics’ shows, the late, great Wendy O. Williams was first and foremost a gentle soul, with more than a touch of hippie influence. As a teenage runaway she bounced around the Rocky Mountains and sold crafts, moved to Florida to be a lifeguard and even cooked at a health food restaurant in London before making the stage her home.

Wendy was also an advocate for animal welfare and a vocal vegetarian. One might understandably assume that her dietary choices were entirely ethically motivated, but this 1984 interview from Vegetarian Times (see her as the adorable cover girl above) shows she was also incredibly health-conscious—a serious urban gardener who avoided drugs and alcohol, exercised regularly and sprouted her own macrobiotic diet from a Tribeca loft. Williams actually taught a macrobiotic cooking class at the Learning Annex!

The best part? The article includes Williams’ own super-hippie recipe for salad dressing—it actually sounds like a pretty intriguing flavor profile too. Save it for your next Plasmatics themed dinner party!

Wendy’s diet is very heavy on live foods and sprouts. The salad dressing is the result of experimentation in the blender and it’s rather unique in that it includes fresh greens chopped up into the dressing. She advises that its [sic] best to use two different types of greens; one for the dressing, one for the salad.

  1 1/2 cups rejuvelac (soak a cup of wheat berries in 3–4 cups of water for 3 days or until berries settle; then strain)
  1 clove garlic
  1 Tbs. miso or soy sauce
  2 Tbs. lecithin
  1 Tbs. cumin
  1 tsp. basil
  1 tsp. oregano
  Fresh herbs of your choice
  Mixed greens (parsley, celery, sorrel, lettuce, spinach, or green    
  beans, sprouts)

 
Add seasonings to rejuvelac and whir in blender. Add, little by little, 1 pound of mixed greens, Until greens or chopped and mix well. Best when used fresh.

Below, Wendy and her fellow Plasmatics go on a safari with John Candy on SCT.

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
This might be the creepiest ceramic set EVER
03.06.2015
10:35 am

Topics:
Art
Food

Tags:
creepy
ceramics
tableware


 
This is totally amazing. Ronit Baranga is a ceramic sculptor from Israel, and she has come up with a set of tableware that will automatically call up images of Fester, Lurch, Wednesday, the Thing, and the rest of the Addams clan. Her website is a total trip, and I look forward to seeing more of her creations in the future.

Baranga’s high-minded comment on her anthropomorphic set runs like this:
 

The useful, passive, tableware can now be perceived as an active object, aware of itself and its surroundings – responding to it. It does not allow to be taken for granted, to be used. It decides on its own how to behave in the situation.

 
When regular household items become “active objects,” that’s usually what we call haunting, or possibly something like a Nest Learning Thermostat—either way, I won’t get too worried until one of these pieces actually starts nibbling at my lips or walking towards me!
 

 

 

 
If you haven’t already lost your appetite, there’s more after the jump…

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
Mark E. Smith, Morrissey, Tom Waits, Barbra Streisand and ‘Spinal Tap’ face cakes
03.06.2015
09:10 am

Topics:
Amusing
Food

Tags:
cakes


Mark E. Smith
 
Damnit, yesterday was The Fall’s frontman Mark E. Smith’s birthday, so happy belated birthday, Mr.Smith. He turned 58 yesterday.

In celebration of his birthday, Zoe Paterson of Face Cake made a delicious looking beetroot Mark E. Smith cake.

After discovering Paterson’s site, I got a little bit lost there. Bemused by the randomness of her tasty face cakes I thought I’d share a few of her creations with you.

If you’re interested in Paterson creating a face cake, you can contact her here.


This cake of Nigel Tufnel from the 1984 mockumentary film ‘This Is Spinal Tap’ turns the volume up to 11
 

Sir David Attenborough
 

Tom Waits
 
More after the jump…
 

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Bon crappétit! ‘Shitty Food Porn’ is the most hypnotically, deliciously disgusting subreddit of all
03.03.2015
07:23 am

Topics:
Food

Tags:
food


My cupcakes didn’t turn out like I wanted, but ended up perfect for here.
 
I can’t stop looking at the Shitty Food Porn subreddit, and I’m not the only one—it’s absolutely mesmerizing. I think maybe we’re just so inundated with this never-ending parade of of Instagrammed perfection, we crave representations of reality—even when reality looks barely edible. From what I can tell, there are a three major categories of Shitty Food Porn, though they co-exist on a Venn Diagram, and a dish may inhabit multiple categories at a time. Here is the primer I have developed:

The Failures: This one is tricky, because failure is already a popular genre—particularly with ambitious projects, as seen in Pinterest Fail. What makes Shitty Food Porn failures different is that, unlike Icarus, they did not perish flying too close to the sun. Shitty Food Porn Failures crashed and burned just walking out the door. This is a dish that should be reasonably simple, but the cook somehow made it incredibly unappetizing, if not downright inedible. The above cupcakes are good example.

The Bachelors: These are marked by a tragic austerity of ingredients, bleak presentation and cheap or desperate substitutions—a hotdog bun instead of regular bread, or anything plated on a paper towel, for example. These are often the recipes of the chronically depressed or incredibly poor. This category gets complicated though, as the necessity is the mother of invention. Many Bachelor recipes also display creativity that might qualify them for third category.

The Frankensteins aka The Fat Americans: If these look innovative to you, you’re probably either at a state fair or you’re drunk or high. The Frankensteins usually involve unexpected, even surreal combinations, and/or grandiose ambition. A fried egg on leftover pizza—the ingredients are Bachelor, but there is an innovative spirit to that combination. One could argue it’s inspired!

Proceed at your own risk, and bon crappétit!
 

Fried egg served on a bed of chilled pizza.
 

Because why the fuck not
 

A “cookie” that my dear friends made
 
More after the jump…

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
Japanese juice company invents wearable robot that feeds you tomatoes while you run
02.24.2015
08:30 am

Topics:
Amusing
Food
Sports

Tags:
tomatoes


 
Japanese juice company Kagom have done the impossible; they’ve created a wearable 18 lbs. robot that fits comfortably on your shoulders and dispenses succulent tomatoes into your pie hole whilst you go about your morning jog. The robot, called Tomatan, holds up to six medium-sized tomatoes. When you feel the need for a snack or suffer from hunger pangs while on your run, just pull the lever and a lovely tomato plops into your mouth.

This is the solution we have all been waiting for.

“Tomatoes have lots of nutrition that combats fatigue,” says Shigenori Suzuki of Kagome.

If you feel the 18 lbs. Tomatan is just too heavy, never fear, there’s also the “Petit-Tomatan” (which is half the weight of the Tomatan). The Petit-Tomatan will be tested out at Tokyo Marathon on Sunday. Should be interesting.

Watch the Tomatan in action, below:

 
Via Death and Taxes and IB Times

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Jack White declares war on bananas
02.07.2015
10:03 am

Topics:
Food
Music

Tags:
Jack White
The White Stripes
bananas


 
Rock and roll riders are always a lot of fun, whether it’s Van Halen‘s demand to have the brown M&M’s removed from their candy bowl (instituted as a foolproof test to see if a venue’s operators were fulfilling the more demanding portions of the rider) or Iggy Pop‘s riders, which, as DM has documented, are hilarious.

On February 2 Jack White played the McCasland Field House on the campus of University of Oklahoma in Norman, Oklahoma, in support of his latest album, Lazaretto. During the show White complained about the publication in the campus newspaper, four days earlier, of the full contract between White and the school.

According to Consequence of Sound, White said from the stage, “Just because you can type it on your computer doesn’t make it right.” The newspaper has cited the Freedom of Information Act. Yesterday the William Morris Entertainment revealed that it was placing the school on a blacklist from any future Jack White concerts as well as those of any artist represented by William Morris Entertainment. (In an addendum to the original Consequence of Sound article from yesterday evening, it is explained that William Morris denies banning OU from future Jack White shows—while pointedly remaining mum about other acts on its roster.)

Moral: Do not fuck with lawyers.
 

 
The main reason for White’s irritation, as well as that of William Morris, was the revelation of White’s fee, which comes to $80,000. White’s contract includes a full recipe for guacamole, reproduced here, as well as an unexplained demand that his tour remain a “NO BANANA TOUR.” The rider explains that the person tasked with preparing the guacamole must be “careful not to mush the avocados too much. We want it chunky.” White’s dressing room, the rider stipulates, should be stocked with aged salami, a pound of “high-quality” prosciutto, beef jerky, dried fruit, cashews, and almonds.

The performer’s alcohol requirements include bottles of red and white wine, Veuve Clicquot champagne, and Bulleit Bourbon (aged 10 years), although these were apparently waived for the OU show—those items are crossed out and the words “No Alcohol” are written nearby with a Sharpie.
 

 
At the start of the “meals” section, there is a stern warning: “PLEASE NOTE: this is a NO BANANA TOUR. (Seriously). We don’t want to see bananas anywhere in the building.” It is not explained why bananas are not allowed to enjoy Jack White’s concerts, along with all the other fruits and vegetables.

Here’s the full rider, so you can see for yourself.

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
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