So, of course I know that E.T. isn’t real even though he lives in all of our hearts, and neither is this E.T. effigy which was part of a project called Exploring the Animal Turn Symposium at the Pufendorf Institute in Lund, Sweden. The purpose of the project was to “provoke discussions and questions on what is at stake in our practices of eating.”
Some of those questions asked by symposium, according to their statement:
What would it feel like to eat an alien? How can we dearly love and grieve some non-human species while accepting the industrialised slaughter of others? How can we cater to the needs of eaters who seek a surrogate for the sacrificial and ritual aspects of convivial, meat-based, barbecues? What are our ethical responsibilities towards fictional organisms?
My question is “who in 2016 can even eat this thing?” Why do I ask? THEY MADE IT OUT OF GLUTEN.
I was going to blog about this Aurora Borealis heat changing coffee mug on April Fools’ day. I hesitated though, as I thought it might be an April Fools’ prank. Alas, I’m proven wrong and it’s a real thing brought to you by Think Geek. Experience the northern lights every time this coffee mug is filled with a hot beverage of your choice.
Caffeine. It makes us light up. It excites us. The thought of that first cup of coffee can really get us moving in the morning, literally and figuratively.
Much as caffeine particles pass into our bloodstream and make us bounce off walls, so, too, the particles from solar winds pass through the Earth’s magnetosphere near the poles and share energy, causing a spectacular display in the upper atmosphere. When these particles collide with oxygen in particular at lower altitudes (up to 150 miles), the photon released appears green or yellow, giving a similar light show as to the one captured on this mug when you fill it with warm liquid.
For that coffee or tea lover in your life who needs it.
I’m digging this turntable pizza slicer by Rocket. What I’m not digging, though, is its price of $58.96. That seems a bit expensive for a novelty pizza slicer to me. I don’t know. I guess it’s perfect for that pizza / vinyl lover in your life.
If you’ve gotta have it and you have the dough—ha ha, I crack myself up—you can get it here.
I’m not entirely sure H.R. Giger would have approved of this, but I must admit this Xenomorph cookie jar is pretty darn badass-looking. The price isn’t too crazy either. For around $45.00 you could own of these puppies through ThinkGeek.
Japanese blog The Jacket Lunch Box turns bento boxes into detailed album cover art. It appears the blog hasn’t updated itself since 2012, but I encourage you to visit it anyway as there is an enormous amount of really cool looking bento box album cover art there.
A lot of TLC went into making these edible delights. Then they probably ate the hell out of ‘em.
I’ll have a Bad Brains box, please with a slice of Tommy for desert.
It’s arguably the greatest LP gatefold image of all time: the drool-inducing food porn Mexican spread from the inner fold of ZZ Top’s 1973 Tres Hombres album. Only Coven’s Witchcraft Destroys Minds & Reap Souls comes close to matching it’s exemplary use of the medium, but as far as gatefold images go, it’s hard to top THE TOP.
In what is destined to be the the greatest short film of 2016, Austin chef Thomas Micklethwait lovingly re-creates this enviable meal and proceeds to eat the shit out of it.
As someone who has often dreamt of being at that fabled table, all I can say is kudos to the chef for allowing me to live vicariously through him and yet not have to experience the following day’s Afterburner tribute.
You’ve all probably read by now that Newark Airport is about to open a branded CBGB restaurant. The menu has typical bar food fare (maybe a cut above) and presumably has typical airport pricing for comestibles; the existence of a $42 prime rib on the menu should tell most of what you need to know. The joint will be called the CBGB L.A.B. (Lounge and Bar) and will serve “American fare in a fun environment recalling the legendary music venue.” The chef is Harold Moore, who according to Rolling Stone “runs the comparatively upscale New York City eatery Commerce,” but Commerce closed last July.
The menu includes an item “Harold’s World Famous Chili,” which Rolling Stone inexplicably regards as a “nod” to Hilly’s Chili, which, given that the name “Hilly” stood for Hillel and not Harold, seems like a stretch. On the subject of Hilly’s Chili I shall allow Binky Philips, of the Planets, who opened for the Ramones at CBGB’s, to elucidate you in this excerpt from his ebook My Life in the Ghost of Planets: The Story of a CBGB Almost-Was ($1.99 Kindle):
Back then, the older folkie fella, who turned out to be the owner, Hilly Kristal, was serving food. I tried the burger first. Wow, pretty good! A week later, I decided to try “Hilly’s Chili.” It was fantastic! In fact, it was so good, I walked back to the kitchen to tell Hilly how much I liked it. He was standing there, in his red plaid wool coat, slowly stirring an industrial sized pot of the chili as if in a trance. And, with Hilly obviously oblivious, about a foot behind his right boot was a fresh and wet pile of dog shit, about the size and shape of half a cantaloupe.
Here’s a shiny, happy facsimile of the familiar awning:
Several months ago, eagle-eyed Twitter user Proof of Use spotted this suggestive bit of legal gobbledygook involving the “usable nonuse explanation” of the lawful paths open to the undisclosed holding company that owns the rights to the CBGB’s name in the wake of the passing of Hilly Kristal.
Upon information and belief, use of the registered mark in connection with the registered services ceased approximately 7 years ago, contemporaneous with the death of Hilly Kristal, the founder of the famous CBGB club in the lower Manhattan. On May 21, 2012, registrant acquired the registered mark from the estate of Mr. Kristal, and during the ensuing period the mark has not yet been used by the registrant in connection with the registered services. The registrant has, however, been working with OTG Management to create a CBGB-branded restaurant and bar in the United Airlines terminal—Terminal C—in Newark Liberty Airport. ... there is currently a space in the terminal reserved for a CBGB restaurant and bar. ... the registrant anticipates that the mark will be back in use in U.S. commerce in connection with the registered services in 2015.
The reader will notice that they just came in under the wire, as being in the news during the calendar year 2015 as an operating entity. I don’t know the details, but I’d bet anything that the holding company is required or heavily incentivized to have the CBGB trademark put to use before a certain set number of years had elapsed or they would lose it.
Here’s Gothamist’s final word on the subject: “We hear it may be opening by the end of the year.” Exactly. That’s not a coincidence, goes my wager.
This restaurant was probably just going to be called L.A.B at one point. I mean why Newark airport of all places for a CBGB-themed eatery? And as anyone who ever stepped foot in the joint can tell you, “germy” would be one of the very first words that would come to mind to describe CBs. The last time I was at CBGBs someone had kicked the urinal off the wall and the toilet was overflowing. Not pretty. As for eating there? This only makes sense in the context of a “use it or lose it” trademark extension.
But just when you’re thinking what a fucking lame idea this is, here’s something even worse: In 1991, future jailed pedophile and rapist Gary Glitter, once one of Britain’s most beloved entertainers, now a figure of public hate, opened The Glitter Bar in London’s Piccadilly Circus (which is some prime real estate, obviously). All of the waitresses were 12-year-old Vietnamese girls in lingerie (okay I just made that last bit up). Here’s footage of “the Leader of the Snacks” at the restaurant’s opening. At about seven minutes in, Glitter shows up and bumps and grinds to his own music, stuffed into his 70s stage clothes like a noncey sausage.
Mercifully the Glitter Bar closed just a few years later, not long before Glitter infamously took his computer full of kiddie porn to be repaired.
The mission statement of the person or persons behind Bread Face is “giving the people something they didn’t ask for.” So they started an Instagram in which a woman smushes her face into various types of bread. Mission accomplished!
That’s right, there are 15 posts, and every one is a little video of this one woman smushing her face into cornbread, King’s Hawaiian Sweet Rolls, naan bread, and so on. While she does it, a recent R&B hit plays in the background.