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7-year-old redesigns condiment label so that it doesn’t look like turds
08.29.2014
07:21 am

Topics:
Amusing
Food

Tags:
brown sauce


 
There is packaging that is corny and packaging that is ugly and packaging that is lame, but most of the time we can ignore bad design. But then there are cetain labels that look like shit—not “shitty,” mind you, but like actual, literal shit. For example, the original packaging for Waitrose brown sauce appeared to feature feces—apparently they’re dates (Where besides Palm Springs would they serve dates with breakfast? I say they’re cat poop.). Luckily, intrepid six-year-old (now seven) Harry Deverill sensed something amiss, and wrote to the company a helpful letter, politely skirting the obvious resemblance of the dates to something less nutritious…

Dear Mark Price,

I am writing as the other morning I had Waitrose essential Brown Sauce with my bacon sandwiches. I asked Daddy what the picture is of on the label. Daddy didn’t know and neither do I. Please could you let me know. Mummy says I am good at drawing so if you would like me to draw a new picture for the label I would be happy to.

Kind regards, Harry Deverill, aged 6

You can see Harry with his adorable (and identifiable) redesign in the picture below. The traditional English breakfast is unfairly maligned in my opinion, but its reputation isn’t helped by fecal graphics. So well done, Harry! May all your breakfasts be devoid of scatological imagery!
 

 
Via Fast Company

Posted by Amber Frost | Discussion
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Is this old Betty Crocker commercial the reason everyone hates the word ‘moist’?
08.27.2014
09:51 am

Topics:
Amusing
Food

Tags:
moist


 
Apparently “moist” is the most hated word in the English language. Period.

University of Pennsylvania linguistics professor Mark Liberman explained to Good why we hate “moist” and that:

“[W]ord aversion is different from word rage, which is “where people get angry at jargon or slang associated with a despised group, or upset because a word or phrase is felt to be incorrectly used, or annoyed at language that they perceive as redundant, or overly complicated, or pretentious, or a cliché, or trendy, or politically incorrect.” That kind of dislike is more common. Grudges against irregardless, synergy, like, don’t go there, or retard fit comfortably in the word rage department.

The word itself has an association making it unpleasant or even disgusting for some people. People don’t like hearing “moist.” They also don’t like the way their own mouth feels when they say it. It seems like a mysterious psychological process at play here, but is it really?

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and point my finger directly at Betty Crocker (I’m looking at YOU, Betty!) and its “Moist Cake Mix Commercial” for officially ruining the word “moist.” You want a smoking gun? Here it is!

See how long you can sit through this commercial without wanting to punch a hole in the wall!
 

 
h/t Todd Philips!

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Gold-plated Kentucky Fried Chicken bone necklaces
08.21.2014
06:25 am

Topics:
Fashion
Food

Tags:
gold
jewelry
Kentucky Fried Chicken


 
It’s voodoo. It’s disco. It’s so tacky I’m gonna keel over and die if I don’t get one of my own. They’re chicken bone necklaces—excuse me—actual gold chicken bone necklaces, rendered from greasy bird meat—the mutilated hoards blessed by the late Colonel himself, or at least a corporate trademark based on his actual face.

Kentucky for Kentucky is a Lexington-based haberdashery specializing in all things Buegrass state.There’s the more traditional fare—cute totes, hip onsies and t-shirts—there are even some great bowls featuring “The Greatest” Kentuckian, Muhammad Ali. However, it’s the currently criminally sold out gold chicken bone necklaces that tower above all other Kentucky swag. Here’s how they boast about their wares:

We got together with our favorite Kentucky jewelry designer Meg C to create a beautiful line of “Kentucky Fried Chicken Bone Gold Necklaces”. That’s right, your dreams have now come true.

Thanks to Meg C and Kentucky for Kentucky, you can now wear a 14kt gold plated Kentucky Fried Chicken bone around your sexy neck. No joke, beautiful handcrafted gold necklaces made with real bones from a Kentucky Fried Chicken 8-piece chicken dinner. Boomtown.

 
Alright, I can’t say I approve of the use of “boomtown” here, but they’re right about the “your dreams have now come true” part. When something is this outwardly chic yet covertly trashtastic, I must have it. It took Meg C a month to complete all the coatings and treatments required to gold-plate a chicken bone, so I suggest she get cracking, stat. At $130 for the small model and $160 for the large, it costs a lot to look this cheap, but I will find the cash.

Maybe I could sell my bone marrow…
 

 
Via Lost at E Minor

Posted by Amber Frost | Discussion
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J.G. Ballard’s favorite food
08.11.2014
10:54 am

Topics:
Food
Literature

Tags:
J.G. Ballard


 
Visionary writer J.G. Ballard‘s list of simple but enjoyable foods would probably make most struggling “healthy living” bloggers’ heads explode. Especially the ones on restrictive diets whose mission is to bore everyone around them to death by talking of nothing else. Ballard, who spent two years of World War II in a Japanese internment camp with his family, also remembered the postwar food rationing that persisted into the ‘50s in the U.K. Even so, he wasn’t obsessive about food. In fact, he saw a happy correlation between food and sex.

He told The Guardian about his usual diet in 2003 (and, of course, a doctor was brought in to explain why all of his choices were unhealthy):

One should love outside one’s own head. I believe that the tongue is just as important as other organs. If you have an appetite for food, you’ll have an appetite for sex. I’m always suspicious of people who lack an appetite and I admire people with strong appetites. However, now I’m 72 I don’t eat a great deal and, let’s say, my tastes have simplified. It is a matter of metabolism, and I’m bored. I’ve eaten everything.

I live alone and eat rather modestly when I’m at home…

I wake at 8 a.m. and have a couple of cups of tea. Midmorning I make a coffee to get my brain in gear. I used to have a large scotch (and that worked even better). Alcohol used to provide a large proportion of my calorie intake and my life enhancement, but I’m too old for that now. I don’t drink spirits any more. Carte Noir is a good substitute. I’ve always drunk instant coffee at home—ever since I read Elizabeth David, who wrote about its virtues. For lunch I eat odd things—Parma ham with a few drops of truffle oil. Dinner is usually an omelette.

If I’m out I like some lobster, but you have to be lucky because it can be very disappointing, and I order a lot of crab dishes. I’m not as keen on beef as I used to be but I still enjoy a nice juicy steak. I’m also very fond of game. I love quails—Maquis do a wonderful quail dish—but I like grouse best of all. I eat a lot of game because the flavour is richer, it’s darker. I drink it with a good red wine. I prefer French wines, possibly because they were the only good wines when I was young. I used to drink a bottle of wine a day, now I have less: half a bottle a day.

Below, J.G Ballard profiled by Melvyn Bragg on The South Bank Show:

Posted by Kimberly J. Bright | Discussion
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Humans shellacked in junk food for monstrously sloppy portrait series
08.11.2014
05:37 am

Topics:
Art
Food

Tags:
photography
James Ostrer
junk food


 
James Ostrer’s “Wotsit All About” makes use of junk food in the most revolting of ways (even worse than actually eating it!) Models are adorned in hamburgers, cheese puffs, whipped cream and all manner of processed goodies, creating a sort of anthropological fashion spread of the crap we consume. There are full-body photographs of his tribesman, but it’s the faces that stand out, reminiscent of religious or ceremonial masks belonging to some long lost sugar clan.

Ostrer avoids what could have very well been a preachy lesson in healthy eating and instead approaches the modern world’s victual vices with a bit of humor. Like many of us, he dreams of a day when junk food is deemed subversive, saying, “Eventually I could see refined sugar being viewed in the same way as smoking is. The only difference is no one in fashion or film ever regarded being fat as cool.”

Some images may be NSFW, if your work holds an objection to breasts, which may or may not be unadorned in meringue.
 

 

 

 

 

 
More after the jump…

Posted by Amber Frost | Discussion
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Man molests fig, nation weeps
08.08.2014
08:45 am

Topics:
Food
Sex

Tags:
gross
figs


 
I would like to apologize in advance for whatever trauma this video may cause you. Those of you with weak stomachs may want to forgo watching altogether.

This video is not suitable for children, or anyone who ever wants to eat a fig ever again. Not a lot more to say about this. You probably know if you want to hit “play” or not, don’t you? He’s got a technique, if you will. A gimmick.
 

Posted by Amber Frost | Discussion
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Life-size Jarvis Cocker and Judi Dench cakes, anyone?
08.01.2014
08:42 am

Topics:
Amusing
Food

Tags:
Jarvis Cocker
cakes
Judi Dench


 
To mark “Yorkshire Day” today, Yorkshire Tea created life-size cakes of Pulp frontman Jarvis Cocker (who’s from Sheffield) and Judi Dench (who’s from North Yorkshire). There were other life-size cakes made of Spice Girl Mel B and Louis Tomlinson from One Direction. Sadly, there are no photos.

I was in Sheffield a few months ago and saw the premiere of Pulp’s documentary Pulp: A Film about Life, Death and Supermarkets during the Sheffield Doc/Fest. They’re proud of their local heroes there. Even the Pizza Express had paintings on the walls of Jarvis, Phil Oakey from the Human League (no mistaking that asymmetrical hairstyle for anyone else) and Richard Hawley so you could look at them while you ate.

This takes it to a whole other level, though…


 

 
via The Star and h/t Nicholas Abrahams

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Peaches sold as sexy butts
07.31.2014
09:03 am

Topics:
Amusing
Food

Tags:
peaches


 
Definitely one way to get young boys to eat their fruit. These delectable peach bums are being sold in China for the upcoming romantical Qixi Festival. Think of it as a goofy novelty gift to get the word out. A box of nine peaches in sheer panties cost around $80 or 498 yuan. Not cheap, but funny as hell.

According to few websites online, local vendors in China are stealing the sheer panty idea and are putting tiny underwear on their peaches. A Nanjing fruit vender has applied for a “panty peach patent” (yep, I just typed that) and is “filing for infringement with the intellectual property bureau.”

I’ll keep you updated on the peach panty war in China as more news comes out.


 

 
Nerdcore, Kotaku and SD China

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Watch a cheeseburger dissolve in hydrochloric acid
07.28.2014
06:56 am

Topics:
Amusing
Food
Science/Tech

Tags:
experiments
chemistry

chseburgacid.jpg
 
This is what happens when you put a cheeseburger in hydrochloric acid.

Or as we all have some hydrochloric acid “churning about” inside of us, this is how we more or less digest our food.
 

 
Via Nerdcore

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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Aleister Crowley’s curried rice recipe
07.24.2014
01:37 pm

Topics:
Food
Occult

Tags:
Aleister Crowley


 
English occultist Aleister Crowley wasn’t merely a poet, painter, mountain climber and the Great Beast 666, he was also an aspiring chef, his specialty apparently being lethally hot curries.

Here’s a passage referring to his “glacial curry” taken from his autohagiography, The Confessions of Aleister Crowley:

“The weather made it impossible to do any serious climbing; but I learnt a great deal about the work of a camp at high altitudes, from the management of transport to cooking; in fact, my chief claim to fame is, perhaps, my “glacier curry.” It was very amusing to see these strong men, inured to every danger and hardship, dash out of the tent after one mouthful and wallow in the snow, snapping at it like mad dogs. They admitted, however, that it was very good as curry and I should endeavour to introduce it into London restaurants if there were only a glacier. Perhaps, some day, after a heavy snowfall”

The exact method by which Crowley made his “glacial curry” has been lost to time, but if you’d like to make some magick in the kitchen tonight, The Master Therion’s recipe for his, I suppose infamous curried rice dish, “Riz Aleister Crowley” was found among his papers at Syracuse University in New York.

Unfortunately, The Great Beat didn’t list any actual quantities for the ingredients, but Nico Mara Mckay added the ratios, which can be modified to make any quantity

Riz Aleister Crowley (to be eaten with curry)

Ingredients
- 1 cup brown basmati rice
- sea salt
- 1/4 cup sultanas
- 1/4 cup slivered almonds(1)
- 1/4 cup pistachio nuts
- powdered clove
- powdered cardamoms
- turmeric powder (enough to colour the rice to a clear golden tint)
- 2 tblsp. butter

Steps
Bring two cups of salted water to a bowl. Throw in in the rice, stirring regularly.
Test the rice after about ten minutes “by taking a grain, and pressing between finger and thumb. It must be easily crushed, but not sodden or sloppy. Test again, if not right, every two minutes.”
When ready, pour cold water into the saucepan.
Empty the rice into a colander, and rinse under cold tap.
Put colander on a rack above the flames, if you have a gas stove, and let it dry. If, like me, your stove is electric,  the rice can be dried by placing large sheets of paper towel over and under the rice, soaking up the water. Preferably the rice should seem very loose, almost as if it it has not been cooked at all. When you’ve removed as much water as you can,  remove the paper towel.
Place the rice back into the pot on a much lower temperature.
Stirring continuously, add the butter, sultanas, almonds, pistachio nuts, a dash or two of cloves and a dash of cardamom.
Add enough turmeric that the rice, after stirring, is “uniform, a clear golden colour, with the green pistachio nuts making it a Poem of Spring.”
 

 
You can find larger, readable versions of Crowley’s original cooking narrative here and here.

Via Music is the Heart

Posted by Richard Metzger | Discussion
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