88-year old Harold Camping, was wrong about the end of the world once, but this time he’s sure he’s right. For 70 years, Camping has crunched the numbers, developing, he claims, a mathematical system of interpreting divine prophecies from the Bible. Camping laughs off all this 2012 stuff. Why who’d be silly enough to buy into that whale of a tale? According to The San Francisco Chronicle:
“That date has not one stitch of biblical authority,” Camping says from the Oakland office where he runs Family Radio, an evangelical station that reaches listeners around the world. “It’s like a fairy tale.”
The real date for the end of times, he says, is in 2011.
Okay… sure… but this isn’t the first end of the world date that Camping has predicted! He’s already gotten it wrong once:
On Sept. 6, 1994, dozens of Camping’s believers gathered inside Alameda’s Veterans Memorial Building to await the return of Christ, an event Camping had promised for two years. Followers dressed children in their Sunday best and held Bibles open-faced toward heaven.
But the world did not end. Camping allowed that he may have made a mathematical error. He spent the next decade running new calculations, as well as overseeing a media company that has grown significantly in size and reach.
You see, Camping is following the first—and by far most important—rule of the failed doomsday prophet: If at first you don’t succeed, DIG IN!
By Camping’s understanding, the Bible was dictated by God and every word and number carries a spiritual significance. He noticed that particular numbers appeared in the Bible at the same time particular themes are discussed.
The number 5, Camping concluded, equals “atonement.” Ten is “completeness.” Seventeen means “heaven.” Camping patiently explained how he reached his conclusion for May 21, 2011. “Christ hung on the cross April 1, 33 A.D.,” he began. “Now go to April 1 of 2011 A.D., and that’s 1,978 years.” Camping then multiplied 1,978 by 365.2422 days - the number of days in each solar year, not to be confused with a calendar year.
Next, Camping noted that April 1 to May 21 encompasses 51 days. Add 51 to the sum of previous multiplication total, and it equals 722,500. Camping realized that (5 x 10 x 17) x (5 x 10 x 17) = 722,500. Or put into words: (Atonement x Completeness x Heaven), squared.
“Five times 10 times 17 is telling you a story,” Camping said. “It’s the story from the time Christ made payment for your sins until you’re completely saved.
“I tell ya, I just about fell off my chair when I realized that,” Camping said.
A crackpot crook held off police for an hour before they realised that dynamite and detonators strapped around his waist were really sausages. Oddball Sing He, 23, threatened to blow up a restaurant and its terrified customers in Benxi, northern China, unless they handed him the day’s takings. He kept police at bay for more than an hour until a specialist bomb unit arrived and realised the bangers were more porker than plastique. “When we saw what he had round his waist we couldn’t help laughing. Some of the sausages still had the wrappers on them,” said one bomb squad officer. “It must have been terrifying for the customers but those things would only have gone off if you’d kept them past their sell by date,” he added. He told police he’d planned the raid because he was depressed after breaking up with his girlfriend. “I needed some excitement in my life and to that extent it was a success” he explained.
Is Sen. Jim Inhofe jealous of Sarah Palin’s starring role as pied piper to the idiot wing of the Republican party, or is he perhaps trying to position himself as a potential running mate for her in 2012? It’s hard to tell what the silliest Senator from Oklahoma was thinking, or if he’s really capable of much thinking at all. Witness what the witless Republican had waiting for him when he showed up in Copenhagen with his “message” of a Hollywood conspiracy that’s behind global warming:
For anybody who missed this cultural trainwreck, somebody gave Chuck Norris a blog. And he is currently mouthing off about Democrats and how they want to abort the future of humanity. Vide:
I’m not exaggerating. Here are the relevant passages:
“In short, while President Obama was accepting the Nobel Peace Prize, the Democrats in Congress drove a sword through the womb of the unborn.”
(Yes, the womb of the unborn. They had to use those tiny plastic swords they put in drinks.)
“Lastly, as we near the eve of another Christmas, I wonder: What would have happened if Mother Mary had been covered by Obamacare? What if that young, poor and uninsured teenage woman had been provided the federal funds (via Obamacare) and facilities (via Planned Parenthood, etc.) to avoid the ridicule, ostracizing, persecution and possible stoning because of her out-of-wedlock pregnancy?”
He brings up this original argument:
“Imagine all the great souls who could have been erased from history and the influence of mankind if their parents had been as progressive as Washington’s wise men and women!”
Here’s a relevant Biblical question lawmakers should ask themselves before they proceed with the bill:
“Will Obamacare morph into Herodcare for the unborn?”
Check out this original letter from Edgar Allan Poe apologizing for his drunken behavior in New York. No wonder he faked his own death… probably to escape bar tabs! Via Letters of Note:
Despite his fame, writer and poet Edgar Allan Poe struggled financially throughout his entire career, even following the publication of his much lauded poem, The Raven. He also enjoyed a drink or two, to a dangerously extent during later life. The following letter was written by Poe in July, 1842, and sent to his publishers along with an article he was desperately hoping they would buy. In the letter, Poe apologises for behaving badly when they last met in New York and blames the embarrassment on his friend William Ross Wallace, a fellow poet who supposedly let Poe drink too many juleps before the meeting.
The letter reads:
Enclosed I have the honor to send you an article which I should be pleased if you would accept for the ?
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