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One of the most vicious political ads EVER will probably sink diaper-fetish Republican dummy
11.12.2015
03:33 pm

Topics:
Idiocracy
Politics
Stupid or Evil?

Tags:


Earlier this year Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) made a fucking idiotic attempt at “humor” by tweeting that it was a “Chick-fil-A kind of day” after the Supreme Court’s ruling on same sex marriage. Louisiana, if you go from Bobby Jindal to this goddamn fool, you’ll have gone from utterly terrible to someone far, far worse. Don’t do it.

During Tuesday night’s Louisiana gubernatorial debate, Sen. David Vitter, the GOP candidate criticized his Democratic opponent John Bel Edwards—an Army Ranger—for releasing a “vicious, negative” political ad that Vitter contended, was offensive to veterans.

Via Talking Points Memo:

Louisiana gubernatorial candidate John Bel Edwards (D) didn’t need to utter the word “prostitution” for viewers of Tuesday night’s debate to understand that he was hitting Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) over his involvement in the 2007 “D.C. Madam” scandal.

“Hundreds of veterans have contacted me,” Edwards said, “and they wanted to know that you were missing out on your public performance of your duties in Congress in order to engage in those extracurricular activities that you don’t want to admit to.”

Vitter had just criticized Edwards, a state representative, for releasing a “vicious negative ad” that he said offended veterans. The ad was released last week and juxtaposed Edwards’ service as an Army Ranger with the claim that Vitter “answered a prostitute’s call minutes after he skipped a vote honoring 28 soldiers who gave their lives in defense of our freedom.”

“David Vitter chose prostitutes over patriots,” the ad’s narrator intoned. “Now, the choice is yours.”

Vitter must not have seen the same ad I saw because frankly I can’t imagine even a single vet being offended by Edwards’ ad. I can quite easily see them being highly offended by Vitter’s shenanigans, but not so much at Edwards for pointing that out so… well, viciously and negatively. I mean how do you gingerly mention that your political opponent has a hooker problem? And why would you care to downplay it or tiptoe around it?

On the other hand, the man the Internet nicknamed “Vitter the Shitter” should be grateful that the Edwards ad didn’t mention that whole diaper fetish thing...

The amazing thing, to my mind, is that Vitter has never really had to answer to this… er… shit before. Being a proud “family values” Southern Republican, naturally Vitter professed “regret” for his “very serious sin” (actually crimes in both Louisiana and Washington) in a 2007 press conference with his wife beside him and I guess Baby Jesus just up and hosed all of that sin right off ‘im. He’s apparently Teflon-coated, because over the years Vitter has paid very little political price—as in nothing whatsoever—for his very public prostitution scandal. The Democrats have tried, oh how they have tried, but nothing ever really stuck to the Senator like a poop-filled diaper should.

Until now!

I thought I’d seen a few vicious political ads in my day, but this one is unique. Watch “The Choice” below:
 

 
After the jump, a previous attempt to get the word out to Louisiana voters about David Vitter’s “messy” prostitution scandal from 2010

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Jeb Bush clinches crucial ‘UFO Man’ endorsement
11.06.2015
08:54 am

Topics:
Kooks
Politics

Tags:


“UFO Man” endorses Bush.  Photo: Times Democrat
 
Bowman, South Carolina (population 968) is home to the “UFO Welcome Center,” possibly the best/worst roadside attraction in America, which mainly consists of a dilapidated, ramshackle spaceship cobbled together from scrap wood and various repurposed construction materials. It’s one of my favorite places on the planet, and I’m lucky as a South Carolinian to get to visit it quite often. I treasure my meetings with the man behind the saucer, “UFO Man,” the adorably kooky Jody Pendarvis.

The giant UFO Pendarvis built in the front yard of his trailer home is in somewhat less than flight-worthy condition and is usually inhabited by a dozen or so feral cats. But if you ever find yourself in Bowman, Jody will gladly give you a tour of the ship and the philosophy behind the UFO Welcome Center, which is essentially a beacon for extraterrestrial visitors.
 

Jody Pendarvis. Photo: Bickel
 
“UFO Man” made the local newspapers this week with his endorsement of Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush. Bush seems like a good candidate for endorsement from the UFO people. Trump has made his stance regarding aliens quite clear (he’s against them), and Ben Carson has attempted to deny the hard work of aliens in building the Egyptian pyramids, claiming that the pyramids were built by Biblical Joseph to store grain—which is clearly insane. Bush is the clear choice for those of us who build giant wooden flying saucers in the front yards of our trailers.
 

 
We’re quite sure the Bush campaign will get a huge bump from this crucial endorsement.

For more on the “UFO Man,” check out Vice’s excellent short documentary on the UFO Welcome Center:
 

 
Here are a few pre-Bush-endorsement photos I took during my last trip to see Jody and the spaceship, three months ago:
 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by Christopher Bickel | Leave a comment
Giant sculpture of naked David Cameron ‘with a pig’ to be torched tonight
11.05.2015
09:36 am

Topics:
Amusing
Animals
Current Events
Politics

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Photo by Steve Tremlett

I have to admit I kinda love this. In honor of Guy Fawkes Night, a giant paper sculpture of a naked David Cameron with a decapitated pig’s head will go up flames tonight on Lewes bonfire, in East Sussex.

Apparently #PigGate is still not over. Fuck him. The Prime Minister I mean, not that poor defenseless pig he (allegedly) molested

(Once we get footage of the burning “pig fucker,” I’ll add it to this post.)


Photo by Matty
 
via Metro

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Chrome extension transforms ‘Donald Trump’ into ‘your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving’
10.28.2015
03:11 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Idiocracy
Politics

Tags:



 
As the dreaded holiday season inches ever closer—and the next Republican debate is tonight—a developer named Tim Bornholdt has created a Google Chrome extension that changes instances of the name “Donald Trump” to “your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving.” In other words, the extension changes news stories so that they are no longer about the obnoxious real estate developer and billionaire TV celebrity, but that dear old drunk uncle who you’re going to have to deal with in a little less than a month.
 

 
You can get the extension at the Chrome Web Store. It’s cute, but what America really needs is a Chrome extension that makes your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving into Donald Trump so everyone can borrow money from him/them.

Just think, in an alternate universe, there exists a web browser extension that IS turning all of our drunk uncles at Thanksgiving into Donald Trumps and there are MILLIONS of him and each and every one of them is running for President.


 

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
There’s a Donald Trump sex doll, because of course there is
10.19.2015
10:39 am

Topics:
Amusing
Politics
Sex

Tags:


 
There’s a Donald Trump sex doll called the Blow Up Trump which is made 100% in CHINA and sells for $39.00. Now I’m not seeing any, um, er, orifices, so perhaps this blow up Trump would make an awesome pool float?

From the Saint Hoax website:

Political leaders are our own personal sex dolls. We need them to fulfill a certain undisclosed pleasure. We purchase a humbled vinyl body and blow it up into a leader. 

With each breath, we exhale expectations. With each expectation, we exhale power. Then that power shapes into a figure.

As we stare directly into the painted eyes of our new saviors, we realize that they cannot see us. Although we’d like to think more of them, our blown up leaders are filled with nothing but air, and they are a needle POP away from going back to the hollow vinyl exterior they once were.

~snip

“I’m putting the people on notice that are coming here from Syria as part of this mass migration. If I win, they’re going back” Donald Trump stated during an evening rally held in Keene, New Hampshire.

As a response, Saint Hoax created the Blow Up Trump. The net proceeds of the project will be donated to the UNHCR: UN Refugee Agency.

The Blow Up Trump is still in its pre-order phase. I’m not gonna lie though, I’m still partial to the Donald Trump Butt Plugs. They’re just more… practical.


 

 

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
So you wanna f*ck a Republican?: Dirty political confessions (NSFW)
10.19.2015
07:49 am

Topics:
Amusing
Politics
Sex

Tags:

001dickpol001.jpg
 
I can honestly say I’ve never been aroused by the thought of having sex with a politician. Not just because most politicians are middle-aged guys with halitosis, bad hair and ego problems, but because politicians are on that “no fly zone” of occupations (along with dentists, proctologists and genitourinary doctors) who for me can never ever be hot, sexy, or remotely attractive. I know, I know, it’s my loss, but you know, I don’t mind—I can live without their alleged charms.

However, it would appear that I am in a minority—as there are many, many people out there who do fantasise about politicians and how they’d like these SOBs to fuck ‘em till they bleed, or reciprocate by tonguing and fingering their oval office. If that’s the party you’d vote for, well three cheers, for there’s a place where you can cast your vote and ‘fess up your secret political desires.

Once it might have been an App, but now it’s a Tumblr—this time a page called Playing Dirty, where peeps anonymously share their “Dirty Political Confessions.” These secret soundbites are plastered over a suitable image of the fantasy object and posted for everyone to..er…enjoy. Admittedly a lot of the naughty secrets involve British politicians like Prime Minister David Cameron—even after all that pig-fucking nonsense—and Margaret Thatcher (apparently someone’s idea of a “MILF”) but there are plenty of unbridled fantasies about Mitt Romney, George W. Bush, “Tricky Dicky” and Hillary Clinton.
 
005gwbdirtpol005.jpg
 

It begins with me being hired to have sex with Bush Jr. I discreetly enter his hotel suite where I find him laying in bed wearing nothing but his socks. I start by tonguing his sweaty taint and asshole until he can’t take it anymore and shoves his cock down my throat, calling me a slut while I gag on his forceful plunges. He then throws me on the bed and fucks me in various positions throughout the night.

 
003hilditypol003.jpg
 

I want to sit Hillary Clinton on the desk of the Oval Office and make her come with my tongue and fingers so many times she wouldn’t know her own name any more.

 
00pryan00.jpg
 

Paul Ryan is a sexy beast. The moment I laid eyes on him I wanted him to fuck me. The way he fights for control and resists his angry urges is a huge turn on. I want him to tie me up in shackles and whip me, bite me, and fuck me till I bleed.

 
More wet dreams of our noble leaders, after the jump…

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Even Fox News knows that Bernie won the debate last night
10.14.2015
08:09 pm

Topics:
Heroes
Politics

Tags:


 
There were two blink and you missed ‘em moments on both CNN and Fox News after the Democratic debate last night that I wanted to call to your attention while the memory is still fresh…

Who “won” the debate? We know who didn’t win it—everyone not named Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders, but of the two of them, who was the winner in the eyes of the Democratic electorate?

The narrative, according to the mainstream media, at least, was that Hillary Clinton was “back” and had scored significant points, while Bernie Sanders more or less held his own, but was unlikely to have picked up many new fans.

Welllllll mainstream media, not so fast there. Voters must’ve watched a different debate. Sanders picked up a lot of new fans. And money!

To wit: On Fox News, evil Republican genius Frank Luntz did his familiar polling routine where a preselected group of informed voters, not wildly for one candidate or another, were hooked up to some sort of galvanic skin response detector and watched the debate wired to gauge their emotional responses.

Probably 90% of the mainstream media called it for Hillary, but even on Fox News, the voters had a much different notion of who had really won the debate. Watch this, it’s fascinating:
 

 
Continues after the jump…

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
The good, the bad and the ugly: Tattoos of terrible political figures
10.14.2015
09:06 am

Topics:
Politics
The wrong side of history

Tags:

Dick Cheney as the devil tatoo
Dick Cheney as the devil tattoo (with the Microsoft “Zune” symbol showing through his head. This tattoo belongs to this guy).
 
I’ve really got a pretty sweet treasure trove of eye candy for you today here on DM. In my downtime, I have to admit one of my guilty pleasures is perusing the Internet for images of tattoo art. As much as I love how getting inked has been elevated to a high art form over the past few decades or so, I’m also a sucker for the folks that end up with terrible renditions of Looney Tunes characters or message tattoos with forever typos like “no regerts.”
 
Former Prime Ministers of the UK, Margaret Thatcher as an ice cream cone tattoo
Former Prime Minister of the UK, Margaret Thatcher as an ice cream cone tattoo
 
Some of my favorite tattoo whoopsies are of the ever popular Chinese fonts that are picked at random from a tattoo flash book by an unwitting client. I’ve had many a good Simpsons-flavored “HA-HA’s” seeing someone who was under the impression that the cute symbol on their arm said “friendship.” However, when translated properly actually advertises that you are “bad looking, ugly or unclean.” Ah, linguistics. Live it, love it, and for fuck’s sake learn it before you get a tattoo involving words.
 
Saddam Hussein portrait tattoo
Saddam Hussein portrait tattoo. Ironically, during his reign, Hussein was known to imprison tattooed Iraqis as he believed tattoos were an “imitation” of western culture
 
In many cases, I was not surprised when I Googled a particular despots name along with the word “tattoo” and found not one, but many different varieties of ink-jobs that ran the gamut from A+ for execution to F for why???. Of course, it makes perfect sense that a former Soviet Army soldier might be sporting a Stalin tattoo on his back. Gulag prisoners from the past would also get the portraits of Karl Marx, Friedrich Engels, Vladimir Lenin, and Joseph Stalin tattooed on their chests in the hope it would protect them from firing squads.

But why would anyone ever put a tattoo of Dick Cheney on their body? Is it an accurate depiction of Mr. Cheney? Sure. But it’s also a strong chick repellant (and people in general repellant for that matter). Despots, dopes and Dicks may come and go, but tattoos are (almost always) forever.
 
Heinrich Himmler, Sarah Palin, the Ayatollah Khomeini and more fun tattoos after the jump…

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
On strip mall handjobs and sexless marriages: A first look at ‘Dead Bedrooms’
10.09.2015
03:45 pm

Topics:
Movies
Politics
Sex

Tags:


 
Many longtime DM readers will recognize the name of Bradley Novicoff, a founding editor here at Dangerous Minds and one of my dearest friends for over 25 years (we met when we were… um… babies. 25-year-old babies, but babies nonetheless). He was also my producer for the Disinformation TV series and Bradley’s now applying a few new reality-bending techniques to his latest project, Dead Bedrooms, an innovative drama/documentary hybrid that examines sexless relationships. The script, to me, plays like a kinky Catfish meets the 80s Belgian cult favorite Man Bites Dog.
 

 
The below clip is part of the ramping up for the film itself. In it, an unnamed “hobbyist” walks a Dead Bedrooms producer through a typical “happy ending” massage parlor, pausing to reflect on his own sex-for-pay experiences. Pretty much everyone takes these places for granted in L.A.—they’re everywhere—but it’s not too often we civilians get a behind-the-scenes look at one of them.
 

The ‘Dead Bedrooms’ legs logo was designed by Leah Hayes. Check out her upcoming book from Fantagraphics, ‘Not Funny Ha-Ha.’

An Indiegogo campaign for Dead Bedrooms launches today, October 9th.  You can read (and watch) more about the project here. And for some truly harrowing tales from the sexless front, check out the Dead Bedrooms subreddit.

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Donald Trump Photoshopped into horror movie stills wins the Internet today
10.09.2015
02:11 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Art
Class War
Movies
Politics
U.S.A.!!!

Tags:


 
Few horror movies have ever really scared me. Many have repeatedly startled me with cheap jump-scares, and plenty have mortified me with visceral gore, but not many movies have really, truly, haunt-my-dreams-for-years SCARED me. Reality scares the absolute living shit out of me every day,and I can’t go to the lobby for a drink or hit a pause button when the intensity gets ramped up. And few things in reality currently scare me into near-paralysis like the idea of President Donald Trump.

And that right there is the key to the humor in DesignCrowd’s recent contest, “Photoshop Donald Trump into famous horror movie scenes.” I’m always a sucker for a ‘shop contest, whether it’s for pros and advanced amateurs like on Worth 1000, or just for top shelf anonymous wise-asses like the users of Fark and Something Awful, but this one reaches some dizzying heights of prime Internet smartassery. We’ve selected some favorites to show you here, but DesignCrowd has several pages of contenders.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Via iHorror

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
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