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FUBAR Republicans: How Mitt Romney’s campaign accidentally suppressed his own vote!
11.09.2012
01:46 pm
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Breitbart has a legitimate scoop today, one that may have deeply pained them to report on: The staggering technical incompetency of Mitt Romney’s ground game.

A source within the Romney campaign shared his thoughts about “Project Orca,” the campaign’s massive get-out-the-vote digital infrastructure—which failed completely—with Breitbart News:

It’s easy to point fingers after a loss and I wouldn’t normally do it, but consider what happened.

Project Orca was supposed to enable poll watchers to record voter names on their smartphones, by listening for names as voters checked in. This would give the campaign real-time turnout data, so they could redirect GOTV
resources throughout the day where it was most needed. They recruited 37,000 swing state volunteers for this.

I worked on the Colorado team, and we were called by hundreds (or more) volunteers who couldn’t use the app or the backup phone system. The usernames and passwords were wrong, but the reset password tool didn’t work, and we couldn’t change phone PINs. We were told the problems were limited and asked to project confidence, have people use pencil and paper, and try to submit again later.

Then at 6PM they admitted they had issued the wrong PINs to every volunteer in Colorado, and reissued new PINs (which also didn’t work). Meanwhile, counties where we had hundreds of volunteers, such as Denver Colorado, showed zero volunteers in the system all day, but we weren’t allowed to add them. In one area, the head of the Republican Party plus 10 volunteers were all locked out. The system went down for a half hour during peak voting, but for hundreds or more, it never worked all day. Many of the poll watchers I spoke with were very discouraged. Many members of our phone bank got up and left.

I do not know if the system was totally broken, or if I just saw the worst of it. But I wonder, because they told us all day that most volunteers were submitting just fine, yet admitted at the end that all of Colorado had the wrong PIN’s. They also said the system projected every swing state as pink or red.

Regardless of the specific difficulties, this idea would only help if executed extremely well. Otherwise, those 37,000 swing state volunteers should have been working on GOTV…

Somebody messaged me privately after my email and told me that North Carolina had the same problems—every pin was wrong and not fixed until 6PM—and was also told it was localized to North Carolina.

Mind-blowing, isn’t it?

The reichwing is still trying to wrap their heads around, not just why Romney lost, but why he failed even to match John McCain’s tallies in 2008. I tell ‘em: HEY, IT WAS GOD’S WILL.

And then I laugh in their faces. (Actually that’s not true, I don’t know any fucking Republicans).

Orca: How the Romney Campaign Suppressed Its Own Vote (Breitbart News)

Posted by Richard Metzger
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11.09.2012
01:46 pm
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Please oh please oh please let Herman Cain try to create a third party
11.09.2012
08:38 am
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Hermain Cain
 
Remember the Republican primaries? The last time election coverage was at all fun? You didn’t actually have to worry about an evil crazy person becoming President, just a glorious parade of crazy people unfit to run a lemonade stand! Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could re-capture that? Well, there might be a chance, because Herman Cain is back, baby!

Yesterday on Bryan Fischer’s radio program, Cain dropped this magical bomb,

“I never thought that I would say this, and this is the first time publicly that I’ve said it: We need a third party to save this country. Not Ron Paul and the Ron Paulites. No. We need a legitimate third party to challenge the current system that we have, because I don’t believe that the Republican Party … has the ability to rebrand itself,”

There are three reasons why this is what America needs right now. First of all, it would be hilarious. Second, political diversity is healthy for a country; a super-right wing party would necessitate further radicalization, creating a party to the left of blue dog Democrats. Third, it would be hilarious. Between Pokemon quotes and sexual harassment and the most idiotic tax plan ever dreamed up, it almost makes me sad that he can’t politic his way out of a wet paper bag! Oh well, we can always dream…
 

Posted by Amber Frost
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11.09.2012
08:38 am
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Rachel Maddow: ‘Last night the Republicans got shellacked. And they had no idea it was coming’
11.08.2012
11:23 pm
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I don’t imagine listening to a smirking lib’brul lezbean school them is exactly what distraught reichwingers want to hear right now, but Rachel Maddow’s post-election wrap-up rant is a stone classic:

Ohio really did go to President Obama last night. And he really did win. And he really was born in Hawaii. And he really is legitimately President of the United States. Again. And the Bureau of Labor Statistics did not make up a fake unemployment rate last month. And the Congressional Research Service really can find no evidence that cutting taxes on rich people grows the economy. And the polls were not skewed to oversample Democrats. And Nate Silver was not making up fake projections about the election to make conservatives feel bad. Nate Silver was doing math. And climate change is real. And rape really does cause pregnancy sometimes. And evolution is a thing! And Benghazi was an attack ON us, it was not a scandal BY us. And nobody is taking away anyone’s guns. And taxes have not gone up. And the deficit is dropping, actually. And Saddam Hussein did not have weapons of mass destruction. And the moon landing was real. And FEMA is not building concentration camps. And UN election observers are not taking over Texas. And moderate reforms of the regulations on the insurance industry and the financial services industry in this country are not the same thing as Communism.

Listen. Last night was a good night for liberals and for Democrats for very obvious reasons. But it was also, possibly, a good night for this country as a whole. Because in this country we have a two party system, in government. And the idea is supposed to be that the two sides both come up with ways to confront and fix the real problems facing our country. They both propose possible solutions to our real problems. And we debate between those possible solutions. And by the process of debate, we pick the best idea. That competition between good ideas, from both sides, about real problems in the real country should result in our country having better choices, better options, than if only one side is really working on the hard stuff. And if the Republican party, and the conservative movement, and the conservative media is stuck in a vacuum sealed, door locked, spin cycle of telling each other what makes them feel good, and denying the factual, lived truth of the world, then we are all deprived, as a nation, of the constructive debate between competing, feasible ideas about real problems.

Last night the Republicans got shellacked. And they had no idea it was coming. And we saw them, in real time, in real humiliating time, not believe it even as it was happening to them. And unless they’re going to secede, they’re going to have to pop the factual bubble they have been so happy living inside, if they do not want to get shellacked again. And that will be a painful process for them, I’m sure, but it will be good for the whole country - left, right, and center. You guys, we’re counting on you. Wake up.

There’s real problems in the world. There are real knowable facts in the world. Let’s accept those and talk about how we might approach our problems differently. Let’s move on from there. If the Republican party, and the conservative movement, and conservative media are forced to do that by the humiliation they were dealt last night, we will all be better off as a nation. And in that spirit, congratulations everybody. Big night.

Here are some interesting election factoids: Romney predominated only among older white men; Obama won 55% of womens’ votes, 93% of African Americans’, 71% of Latino ballots and 60% of voters ages 18 to 29.

The GOP is fucked. Well and truly fucked. It’s only going to be worse for them in 2016 as more of the old farts who make up the Republican Party shuffle off this mortal coil and more and more young Latinos join the voter rolls as Democrats.
 

Posted by Richard Metzger
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11.08.2012
11:23 pm
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Drunk woman on YouTube pissed over Obama reelection (now with orchestra!)
11.08.2012
04:19 pm
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The meme is strong with this one.

The evil genius behind this is Ethan Persoff.
 

 
Via WFMU and Nerdcore

Posted by Tara McGinley
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11.08.2012
04:19 pm
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‘Math You Do As A Republican To Make Yourself Feel Better’


 

“Yes, last night, tragically, there was an avalanche on Bullshit Mountain, ladies and gentlemen.”

Jon Stewart dissects five minutes of Fox News election night coverage that will become immortal on The Daily Show last night.  

Previously on Dangerous Minds
Hell Night at Fox News     
 

Posted by Richard Metzger
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11.08.2012
12:29 pm
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Legalized marijuana in Washington and Colorado: Not if Obama can help it
11.08.2012
10:00 am
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Admit it, Obama voters, this is the kinda thing you expected Mitt Romney to do if he got into office. What did this take, all of around 36-hours, to get floated to the press?

Maybe I should have voted for (unimpressive) Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson (I probably agree with him on about 25% of the issues, around the same percentage as I agree with Obama, anyway). On election day it was more appealing to me to record a “fuck you” vote to the Republicans than to make a different sort of protest vote, but Obama is already making me regret that, as tiny a protest as that would have been, just TWO DAYS later!

Via Reuters:

Votes making Colorado and Washington the first U.S. states to legalize marijuana for recreational use could be short-lived victories for pot backers because the federal government will fight them, two former U.S. drug control officials said on Wednesday.

They said the federal government could sue to block parts of the measures or send threatening letters to marijuana shops, followed up by street-level clampdowns similar to those targeting medical marijuana dispensaries the government suspects are fronts for drug traffickers.

“This is a symbolic victory for (legalization) advocates, but it will be short-lived,” Kevin Sabet, a former adviser to the Obama administration’s drug czar, told reporters.

“They are facing an uphill battle with implementing this, in the face of ... presidential opposition and in the face of federal enforcement opposition,” Sabet said.

—snip—

Ian Millhiser, senior constitutional policy analyst with the left-leaning Center for American Progress, said the federal government, even if it sues to challenge the Colorado and Washington initiatives, cannot force police in those states to arrest people for marijuana infractions.

“If I were Barack Obama, I would look at this and say I would rather have young voters with me,” Millhiser said.

Damn, straight, Ian. I’d take it a step further and say that NO ONE was waiting to hear how Obama was going to crack down on… states’ rights.

If his DOJ does nothing about this, no one will even notice (Keep in mind that the Bush administration did very, very little to curb the explosive growth in California’s cannabis trade). Now they’re just going to get mad. Fuck Obama. What’s so “Forward” about this shit?

I want my vote back!

Posted by Richard Metzger
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11.08.2012
10:00 am
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Maine elects first open World of Warcraft gamer to state senate
11.08.2012
09:29 am
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Colleen Lachowicz
Would you trust this woman to public office?
 
Did you guys know that this election cycle brought us the first openly gay Senator, Tammy Baldwin of Wisconsin? Did you also hear about Tulsi Gabbard, the first Hindu in Congress, or Mazie Hirono the first Asian-American woman Senator, both from Hawaii? Well who the hell cares?!?

We all know the real civil rights issue of our time is not race, religion, gender, or sexuality; the greatest victims of our society are our noble nerds. Have you ever been on Kotaku or a particularly esoteric sub-reddit? Nerds live under oppression you couldn’t even imagine!

Colleen Lachowicz, a Democrat from Maine, was recently elected to the state senate amidst a fury of anti-nerd controversy. Her opponents created a really, really terrible website hellbent on admonishing her using the harshest accusations possible.

Colleen Lachowicz is a Democrat candidate for Maine State Senate. In Colleen’s online fantasy world, she gets away with crude, vicious and violent comments like the ones below. Maine needs a State Senator that lives in the real world, not in Colleen’s fantasy world.

Daaaaaaaammmnm dude! Harsh! And what quote do they use to expose her unnatural predilections?

So I’m a level 68 orc rogue girl. That means I stab things … a lot.  Who would have thought that a peace-lovin’, social worker and democrat would enjoy that?!

So she admits it?!? For shame!

Luckily, in the grown-up world, no one really gives a shit, and Lachowicz won. I mean, if I were a Mainer, I’d be impressed, but demand to know her stance on Zelda, obviously.

Posted by Amber Frost
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11.08.2012
09:29 am
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Bill Maher on the election: America wins, comedy loses
11.07.2012
10:47 pm
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Posted by Richard Metzger
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11.07.2012
10:47 pm
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‘America died’: LOL tweets from conservative twit Victoria Jackson
11.07.2012
02:30 pm
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“Anti-intellectual political activist” Victoria Jackson reacts to the election on Twitter.
 

 

 

 

 
Via BuzzFeed

Posted by Tara McGinley
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11.07.2012
02:30 pm
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Hell Night at Fox News


 
After Diane Sawyer’s incessantly giddy slurring began to annoy me too much (”...and the swimmer in South Carolina is Jim Beams!”), we switched over to Fox News for the lulz we knew would await us there and never changed the channel after that.

It was riveting stuff.

As a connoisseur of Republican schadenfreude, it was pretty obvious that Fox was the place to be on this election night.

Megyn Kelly was clearly shell-shocked by the incoming results and you could tell with her, fairly early on, that she knew what was happening by a look of deer-in-the-headlights PANIC that crept over her face in real time during the broadcast. Also, they had her vamping constantly, but she’s just so unfunny, stiff and strident (and was so clearly off-put by Romney’s looming loss) that this fell completely flat and even I felt sorry for her. It was almost as if Fox News didn’t have much of a contingency plan when Obama won other than asking Megyn Kelly to wing it!

When Fox finally called it for Obama, it was like lacquer-haired Bret Baier, the one who blurted it out, had farted loudly behind the desk and the rest of them just looked down in embarrassment, shook their heads and muttered something. THAT was how the election results got called on Fox News last night: “Oh shit… he won.”

It was hysterically funny and SO REAL. I only wish that Sean Hannity had been on camera at that point, but alas, ‘twas not to be.

But did you hear what Papa Bear, Bill O’Reilly had to say earlier in the evening when the writing was already so clearly on the wall for R. Money:
 

 
And then there was supposed evil genius Karl Rove, who looked like he was trying to start a push-back against Fox News’ own “war room” of data analysts. He sort of scolded Kelly for calling Ohio too soon. It was a borderline nerd freakout, as if you could see the gears turning in his head as he realized that his days as one of the most influential people within the Republican party were coming to an abrupt end. That was a pretty extraordinary thing to watch:
 

 
After the commercial break, Rove came back on the air and basically said “Uh, okay, well, yeah, never mind.” Some evil genius “Turd Blossom” turned out to be this go-round. Rove couldn’t even buy an election (and this might be the GOP’s last election where they even get to try). Karl’s gonna have a lot of essplaining to do to the Koch Brothers, Sheldon Adelson and the other members of the Billionaire Boys Club about how he pissed their money down a black hole. Rove got fucking skunked last night, and he’s well aware of it, too, there’s no doubt about it.

For a little perspective: This was the widest vote to return an incumbent president to the White House since Ronald Reagan won 49 states in his 1984 reelection bid. That’s not a statistical fluke, no matter what the “know nothings” at Fox News, Breitbart and the Drudge Report want you to believe. What’s more, Frenchman John Kerry got over a million more votes in 2004 than Romney got on Tuesday.

Here’s what Fox News DIDN’T REPORT ON last night, at least not as long as we were watching:

  • Liberal hero Alan Grayson won his House seat back (Hell yeah!)
  • Wisconsin elected Tammy Baldwin, a proud lesbian woman, to the Senate, beating Tea party-backed former governor, Tommy Thompson.
  • Marijuana was decriminalized by Colorado and Washington voters.
  • Maryland and Maine became the first states in which the voters chose to legalize same-sex marriage.
  • Left for dead Democrat Senator Claire McCaskill of Missouri beat Republican goatboy Todd Akin.
  • Liberal hero Elizabeth Warren won handily in Massachusetts.
  • Michele Bachmann, who raised more money than any other member of the House, barely squeaked by in her reelection.
  • Cuckoo Tea party favorite Col. Allen West lost his seat in the House.
  • Joe Donnelly beat Richard Mourdock in Indiana. God’s will?

Well then God must hate the Republicans’ fucking guts this year, that’s all I gotta say.

Other than the token liberal (I can’t recall her name) the only person on Fox News last night who actually appeared to pick up on the core message of what had transpired (other than Bill O’Reilly, I suppose) was Brit Hume who mused aloud that perhaps America has simply become more liberal than conservatives want to believe:

“Many of us have believed — and I still basically do — that that this is a center-right country. And a lot of conservatives have taken the view that liberals are really on the wane. If you look at tonight’s exit polling that we’ve seen so far, those that self-identified as liberals are about 24 percent, self-identified conservatives 35 percent, moderates 40 percent. Now, this apparent outcome tells you one thing about those moderates, that there are in that category an awful lot of them who are actually liberals.”

“Now, liberal became kind of dirty word, that’s when the word progressive came into use. But I think that — but I don’t think — you take the conservative number, 35 percent, it’s certainly a share of those moderates that are moderate to conservative, you’ve still got a center-right country, but it’s more liberal than many may have thought looking at those numbers. It’s got to be.”

Well, there’s that, and they also happen to think the Republicans are batshit crazy lunatics.

I’m expecting Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert to come up with time capsule-level shows tonight, aren’t you?

Required reading:
Welcome To Liberal America (Buzzfeed)

2012 or Never: Why 2012 is the Republicans’ Last Chance (New York magazine)

The Republicans Bet Everything, and Obama Won It All (New York magazine)
 

 

Posted by Richard Metzger
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11.07.2012
12:03 pm
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