Alleged alter-ego to both the late great Andy Kaufman and Kaufman’s longtime writer/co-schemer Bob Zmuda, meta-comedian Tony Clifton‘s still alive, well and wonderfully profane.  (Sample: Why is it that Mike Tyson cries after sex?  Well mace will do that to you.) 

The Onion’s AVC is carrying a lengthy, frequently hilarious interview with the man dubbed “the worst nightclub singer you’ve ever seen or heard.”  In it, Clifton dishes on Sinatra (a moody bastard) and New Orleans cops (crazy motherfuckers).

And when he’s not frolicking with prostitutes or updating his blog, Clifton’s making the club rounds.  He also recently played a string of Comic Relief gigs to benefit the victims of Hurricane Katrina.  Some footage of Clifton in action follows below.  The clip also attempts to tease out Clifton’s “true” identity, an effort that, as it has for years now, quickly becomes a hall of mirrors.

 
Tony Clifton: The Onion AVC Interview

Fox is developing the cult hit Dr. Who spinoff show “Torchwood” for American audiences. I bet you five bucks they will get Adam Lambert to play Captain Jack. If nobody’s thought of this yet, consider the idea my gift to the dark machinery that runs Hollywood.

Huge news for sci-fi fans: Fox is developing a stateside version of the U.K. hit series ?

 
If only American Big Brother was this good… Sorry about the wonky quality, but you’ll most definitely get the point.

 
Thank you Chris Campion!

 
The actress darts through the forest, crawls through a cave and ends up swimming out to sea wearing frocks by Pringle of Scotland. McGinley says his inspirations included The Goonies and Grafteful Dead albums covers.

 
What if you took Angelina Jolie, Anne Hathaway, Charlize Theron, Elizabeth Cuthbert, Hilary Duff, Jennifer Love Hewitt. Jessica Alba, Jennifer Biel, Kiera Knightly, Kate Bosworth, Kristin Kreuk, Mandy Moore, Megan Fox, Monica Belluci, Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson, put them in some kind of a sci-fi DNA blender and mixed them altogether? Her, apparently, the winner of the genetic sweepstakes. You can see all the intermediate steps to creating the most beautiful girl in the world here.

James St. James on a roll today! Via World of Wonder/The WOW Report

 
Opening this weekend in Frankfurt, Germany, the new musical, Hope: The Obama Musical Story.  A bilingual production, H:TOMS features the characters of Barack Obama, John McCain and Sarah Palin, who apparently belts out a number accompanied by a bevy of scantily clad go-go dancers.  She’s matched up, I suppose, against a hot-looking Hillary Clinton.

Germany’s Der Spiegel reports that the plot follows a group of residents in an apartment-sharing community—a disillusioned and unemployed Puerto Rican, an ultraconservative widow of German heritage and an African American political activist.  Gradually, the characters become galvanized by Obama’s message of hope and change.

Some highlights (?) from H:TOMS follow below:

 
‘Hope’-ful: New Obama Musical Set To Premiere In Germany

 
From today’s Los Angeles Times, the little known tale behind the famous photo of Elvis Presley and Richard Nixon, including the top page of the letter Presley wrote to Nixon that led to the meeting:

“Dear Mr. President, First I would like to introduce myself. I am Elvis Presley.”

In five pages, Elvis explains he loves his country and wants to give something back and, not being “a member of the Establishment,” believes he could reach some people the president can’t if the president would only make him a federal agent at-large so he can help fight the war on drugs.

“Sir, I can and will be of any service that I can to help the country out. . . . I will be here for as long as it takes to get the credentials of a federal agent. . . . I would love to meet you just to say hello if you’re not to [sic] busy. Respectfully, Elvis Presley.”

 

 
Picture of Elvis and Nixon is worth a thousand words (Los Angeles Times)

 
Sleep Talkin’ Man is one of the hottest “viral” sensations on the Internet and Twitter these days. It’s as funny as Shit My Dad Says but in a different vein. What STM is all about is simple, it’s the day to day transcriptions of what one woman’s “mild-mannered English husband” spouts while he’s sleeping at night, utterly hilarious “surrealisms” to savor:
 

Jan 12 2010

“I’m making pillows. Burn them slowly, keeps them fluffy! Mmmmmm, pillows.”

“Potato bags. I can’t find my potato bags. I need them! [desperately] Who’s got my potato bags? Oh, fuck it! I’ll have to use something else.”

“Dogs’ scrotums. They stretch.”

“Pork chops are most satisfying. Mmmmmmm. Dangle them from the ceiling.”

Wife’s note: After we listened to the recording, Adam turned to me and said, “I’ve never had pork chops.”

 
Sadness in the streets! The Bodhi Tree, one of the best bookstores, period, and THEE very best New Age and Spirituality bookstore anywhere on the planet is closing. Although in recent years I’ve not gone there nearly as much as I used to, in the mid-90s, I went to the Bodhi Tree every single Saturday morning without fail and poured over the shelves of the used books annex. There I found Leary first editions, tons of rare Crowley and even signed firsts of Terence McKenna’s The Invisible Landscape and True Hallucinations. I’d comb through this store sometimes twice a week. For book hounds into the occult and weirdo culture in general, the Bodhi Tree was like an intellectual candy shop. I felt great pride to see my own books and DVDs for sale there. But sadly, those days have passed. With Amazon and Barnes & Noble taking massive bites out of the profits of niche booksellers—Shirley MacLaine probably shops on Amazon—it’s hard to run a business on fumes. Even storied operations like the Bodhi Tree, in the end have their life cycles. I wonder what it will reincarnate as?

From the LA Weekly:

Owners Phil Thompson and Stan Madson informed their staff last Wednesday that the cozy Melrose Avenue shop, a nationally renowned and much beloved spiritual center, will be shutting its doors in a year’s time.

After some eight months of discussion, Thompson and Madson decided to sell the property to a local business owner who leases space to several other nearby retailers. The Bodhi Tree opened in 1970. Land values in the area have risen dramatically since then. Meanwhile, the business of selling print books has been on a steady decline. For years, real estate agents had been circling the Bodhi Tree like vultures. In the end, selling the property became a much more profitable option than continuing to sell books.

Thompson and Madson started the bookstore when they were in their 30’s. They are now both in their early 70’s. They were aerospace engineers who left a life of science for one of contemplation and meditation.

“Twenty years ago we felt like it was an expanding situation,” says Madson. “We were concerned the store was getting too big. We had a staff of 100. Publishing was expanding. Spirituality was expanding. But what changed was that the market became widely dispersed.”

 
Julie Newmar: Catwoman, Mayflower descendant, and now, it seems, collector of erotic fantasies.  Meow!

I WANT YOUR STORY
Who was your first turn on?
How old were you two, four, six?
What did he look like?
What was she doing exactly that stopped you dead in your tracks?
That secretly affirmed your romantic future, your love life, the person you married?

Sit down, write one page, re-inspire yourself.

Be part of an exciting book series I’m putting together.

Get to the keyboard and email: Julie Newmar

(Note to myself readers of Dangerous Minds: while Julie Newmar is OK with using Catwoman as “your object of desire,” she’d prefer your fantasy involve something more than claws, whips and leather.)  Ms. Newmar’s very first appearance in the role that came to define her follows below:

 
(via Julie Newmar)