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Old Playboy covers, ‘doodle-bombed’
05.13.2016
03:43 pm

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Art
Sex

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I feel like the world would be a better place if more artists and designers had an attitude like Hattie Stewart. She doesn’t take herself too seriously, and she treats the world of pop culture like her own personal playground. Last year she posed for pictures wearing a shirt of her own design that was studded with fake logos for acts like Miley Cyrus, in a style she termed “death metal meets Britney Spears.”

Speaking of which, here’s one of Stewart’s scurrilous “doodle-bombs” on a cover featuring the über-twerker. She also has odd little tattoos on her wrists.

Stewart’s work reminds me of Pee-wee’s Playhouse meets the Paul Frank monkey—painted by Keith Haring. On mescaline.

In this series Stewart takes disrespectful aim at some vintage Playboys, including covers that Harry Crane on Mad Men probably, ah, “enjoyed looking at.”
 

 

 
More Playboy “doodle-bombs” after the jump…....

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
‘Moving in Stereo’: The Cars’ accidental soundtrack to an entire generation’s sexual awakening
05.11.2016
06:42 pm

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Music
Sex

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The Cars were never what I would call a “sexy” band.

I’m not talking about the way that they ever physically appeared, mind you—though Ben Orr was a bit of a pretty boy, the scale is certainly tipped by the alien spectre of Ric Ocasek, the uberdorkiness of Greg Hawkes and the mod-mullet ‘80s normyness of Elliot Easton and David Robinson. But, no, I’m not talking about “sexy” in the physical, visual sense of the word. What I mean to say is that The Cars didn’t make music that I’d call traditionally “sexy.”  As much as I love Candy-O , one of my favorite quirk-rock albums of the new wave era, it’s not what I’d call a “leg-spreader” to put on in the bachelor den.

Still, like a generation of other “certain-aged” dudes, one particular Cars song, “Moving in Stereo,” is forever-stamped on my brain as absolutely “sexy” even though its mechanical groove sounds like it was played by melancholy robots. There’s one reason and one reason alone for that: it plays over one certain iconic swimming pool scene in Fast Times at Ridgemont High that every dude of “that certain age” experienced as a crystalizing moment of their sexual awakening. In other words, Phoebe Cates gave a lot of dudes boners and The Cars are forever linked to that particular boner.
 

 
The classic pool sequence in Fast Times at Ridgemont High was where I really fell in love with The Cars. “Moving In Stereo” was inexplicably not included on that film’s soundtrack, so I, like a lot of other dudes was forced to go out and buy The Cars’ first self-titled album to get it. Of course that record was chock full of other amazing hits too like “Good Times Roll,” “My Best Friend’s Girl,” “Just What I Needed,” and “You’re All I’ve Got Tonight.” The latter three songs, as well as “Moving In Stereo” appear on the new “hits” compilation Moving In Stereo: The Best of the Cars which comes out this week.
 

 
This collection replaces the old 1990, out-of-print, Greatest Hits CD. Being of that “certain age” demographic, I have a HD audio system now, so I can take full advantage of the nice new mastering job they’ve done on all the songs (hand-selected by members of the band) by Ted Jensen at Sterling Sound. This new “best of” package also contains remastered versions of “Tonight She Comes” and “I’m Not The One (single mix)” which are not on the just-released, Elektra Years 1978 - 1987 six CD box set, as well as a live version of “Everything You Say,” and a new mix by producer Philippe Zdar of “Sad Song” (which is a track from the band’s last album,  2011’s Move Like This.

The Cars were a great singles band, and every song on this new set is a time-tested classic. And at least one of those songs will still always remind me of being a dumb prepubescent dude falling in love with a pair of perky boobs on cable TV. Thank you forever, top-ten-all-time-crush Phoebe Cates… and thank you, The Cars.
 

 
Below, The Cars in concert in Texas during their ‘Heartbeat City Tour,’ recorded live at The Summit in Houston on September 12, 1984.

Posted by Christopher Bickel | Leave a comment
Apparently ‘male pregnancy porn’ is the new ‘thing’?
05.11.2016
02:09 pm

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Amusing
Sex

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Last year the “dad bod” became a full-blown cultural phenomenon, and there’s a company called Film911 that caters to a set of fetishes that’s completely in the same ballpark.

Film911 specializes in “male gay fetish videos,” which mainly presents men engaging in activities that are not traditionally considered “masculine,” like stuffing their faces with food, tickling each other, receiving CPR, and, most intriguingly, giving birth.

This footage is apparently getting a few people off, but it’s not even clear that these videos qualify as porn, because, as Brian Moylan at Vice astutely observes, the scenes generally feature “no nudity, no dongs, no anal, and no money shots”—indeed, no sex at all.

At Film911, the male pregnancy videos fall under the category MPREG, and they feature men behaving in traditionally “feminine” ways that transcend the mere act of giving birth. In the MPREG video embedded below, “Connor” is shown at home, and he’s definitely showing. He’s at the kitchen sink describing his day on the phone to his unseen mate, as he demurely relates that he’s been cleaning up the house and that he can’t wait for his mate to come home so they can be together again. Before long, he’s in an OR experiencing painful contractions.

This is a man who speaks in hushed tones, who would seldom raise his voice or insist on getting his way. And maybe therein lies one of the secrets to the power these MPREG videos hold for some. 
 

A still from one of the “Inflation” videos
 
Predictably, you can also obtain ebooks of MPREG erotica if that’s your thing.

Film911 makes movies in several other genres that have little to do with the familiar porn categories of bondage and creampies. For instance, there’s the “Vore” category, short for vorarephilia, which denotes the sexual desire to be eaten—not in the sexual sense but in the culinary sense.

In the Vore videos, one man will devour another man, only then to regurgitate him so he can ask him how it felt. The descriptions of these videos are quite amusing. “Jonny is hungry for more,” a preview of which is embedded below, comes with the following synopsis: 
 

1. Jonny comes home and Connor at his pizza so he turns and eats Connor.
2. Jonny is working out and needs more protein to get larger so he eats Connor.
3. Connor and Jonny are in bed when Connor decides to eat Jonny. Connor gets sicks and throws his boyfriend back up.
4. Connor is doing laundry when Connor knocks him down, drags him into the bathroom, and chows down.

 
There are also videos dedicated to men stuffing their faces with a table full of food and then moaning about the burrito babies now inhabiting their bellies (those are coded “Stuffing”). Some show men blowing each other up like balloons (“Inflation”). As you can see, imagery of men with distended tummies is one of Film911’s main stocks in trade. None of these genres have a large following as such, but the site still turns a tidy profit.

The founder of Film911 goes by Jay in Vice’s article (last name withheld); he started the company when he realized that “there was no content out there catering to what I’m into. I own a production company, so why don’t I produce content geared toward what I’m into?” He uses friends of friends as well as guys who he finds on Craigslist. One advantage of keeping matters so un-explicit is that he can get attractive and fit straight guys to appear in his movies, in which everyone keeps their clothes on and there’s no genital play.

As Jay says:

“When people told me what they were into, I was like, ‘Wow that’s different.’ There are certain people who tell me their ideas and send me their scripts and feedback all the time. I’m very connected to them and they’ve driven the business in the right direction.”

 
More after the jump…

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
Why are the penises on ancient statues so small?
05.10.2016
12:06 pm

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Art
History
Sex

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If you’ve spent any time in the Metropolitan Museum or the British Museum or really anyplace where ancient statuary is featured, you might have emitted a titter at the sight of the willies on the nekkid dudes made of marble.

Those statues prompt a pretty good question: Why are the dicks on ancient statuary so small anyway?

That’s the question that curator and blogger Ellen Oredsson, a resident of Bangkok, Thailand, recently tried to answer on her blog How to Talk About Art History.

Ellen’s answer has several parts. First, ancient statues almost always—yes, almost always—feature flaccid penises, and the penises in the statues aren’t all that small if you compare them to a real-life tuck (George Costanza was quite eloquent on the subject of “shrinkage”).
 

Michelangelo’s David (detail)
 
Second, Oredsson cites scholarship such as Kenneth Dover’s Greek Homosexuality to the effect that the Greeks may have valued smaller penises more than we do, in part because “large penises were associated with very specific characteristics: foolishness, lust and ugliness.”

Interestingly, just because you see a few Greek statues with tiny willies, that doesn’t rule out the possibility that other statues don’t follow the same rules. And indeed, some ancient statues quite noticeably do not feature small penises, but big ones. For instance, pictured below is a statue of a satyr, which Wikipedia defines as “one of a troop of ithyphallic male companions of Dionysus with equine (horse-like) features, including a horse-tail, horse-like ears, and sometimes a horse-like phallus because of permanent erection.”
 

 
If you Google “Greek satyr statue,” you’ll see plenty of other examples just like this one.

There’s also this attention-getting depiction of Priapus, a Greek fertility god on whom Hera cursed with both a permanent erection and impotence—a rough combination!
 

 
Oredsson doesn’t give it too much emphasis, but I think a major reason is that we’re all way too immature. She writes, “Ancient Greek sculptures are all about balance and idealism. Therefore, it makes sense that they wouldn’t have large penises, as this would be considered humorous or grotesque.”

Exactly. The presence of a large member is, at a minimum, a major distraction from the depiction of “the ideal Greek man,” who was meant to be “rational, intellectual and authoritative.”

And that’s all without getting into the possibility of breakage....
 

 

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
China bans live streams of women ‘eating bananas seductively’
05.09.2016
11:11 am

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Food
Science/Tech
Sex

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Lately it’s become a trend in China for live streaming websites to feature women eating fruits—especially bananas—in an “erotic” manner. The authorities in China, however, are not amused, and have moved to block distribution of the images.

As part of the Chinese government’s crackdown on “inappropriate” online content, Chinese live-streaming video services are banned from showing images of women filming themselves while eating bananas “erotically,” China’s state-run CCTV news reported last week. The details of what is and isn’t legal have not yet been set, but people featuring themselves in live streams are henceforth barred from eating “bananas seductively” in front of the camera.

On April 14 China’s Culture Ministry announced an investigation of popular live-broadcast websites for “allegedly providing content that contains pornography or violence and encourages viewers to break laws and harms social morality.”

On Thursday, CCTV reported that the targeted websites had already moved to restrict the behavior of some of the most popular hosts, which were “predominately attractive women showing their cleavage.”

The draconian new regulations require live-streaming sites to monitor their output 24 hours a day to make sure that explicit material is not broadcast.

Some Chinese social media users think that the new regulations can be circumvented by dispensing with bananas. “They will all start eating cucumbers, and if that’s no good, yams,” one user commented. (I am reminded of this song. Wait for the punchline)

Here’s an example of the kinds of streams that will no longer be allowed:

 
via Dazed

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
Satanic strippers: Vintage burlesque performers dance with the devil
05.03.2016
10:35 am

Topics:
Dance
Occult
Sex

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Actress Marian Martin and a burlesque cape featuring our pal, Satan, 1930s
Actress Marian Martin in a Satan-themed burlesque cape. Martin actually played a dancer named ‘Pinky Lee’ in the 1943 film, ‘Lady of Burlesque’ which was based on the novel ‘The G-String Murders’ written by strip tease queen Gypsy Rose Lee. Martin was not a burlesque performer, but her costume is in the satanic burlesque spirit of this post.
 
Of the many fun things that comes along with being a part of the diverse compendium that is Dangerous Minds, those rare days when my feet hit the floor, and I have no idea what I’m going to write about that day, are not among them. Which is why I try to stockpile posts concerning the guy who should have built my hotrod, Satan, for those kinds of days. Because let’s face it—Satan is a big crowd pleaser among DM’s readership.
 
Burlesque performer Diane de Lys in a publicity photo for her show
Burlesque performer Diane de Lys in a publicity photo for her show ‘The Devil and the Virgin,’ 1953.
 
I hate to admit it, but sadly I know very little about the world of burlesque despite having a few friends who actually work in the field professionally. So the discovery that dancers back in the 1920s and 1930s (and beyond) used an unusual prop—a costume that was split into two distinctly different styles that was used for a “1/2 and 1/2” style of dance performance was sort of new to me.

One side would feature a “normal” kind of stage dress, and the other could be anything from a man or a maybe a gorilla (apparently, after King Kong was released in 1933, the popularity of girl/gorilla acts skyrocketed. Go figure). Or in the case of the images in this post, Satan himself! That said, I’d personally love to see this trend return to the burlesque stage (if it hasn’t already). Many of the photos you are about to see also feature burlesque performers all dolled up like the devil dating as far back as the early 1930s. They are also slightly NSFW. YAY!
 
H/T: To the burlesque treasure trove that is Burly Q Nell.
 
Burlesque performer with satan costume/cape
 
Devil and the Dancer, 1932
Early 1930s.
 
More devilish dancers and their demonic debonair dance partner after the jump…

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
Free love, free press and lots of nude hippie chicks
05.02.2016
10:05 am

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History
Literature
Sex

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When I got to San Francisco, the Summer Of Love was in full effect and I was crashing at a pad on Waller street in the Haight. There were a couple dozen of us in a large multi-room apartment sleeping on the floor, on couches, wherever we could find a few unoccupied square feet. I had a nice setup in an oversized closet. I knew the guy who rented the apartment (we had gone to junior high together) and so I got some preferential treatment. Everyone in the place were pilgrims from all over the United States and we were all under twenty.  And, like I said, it was the Summer Of Love. So a lot of fucking was going on.

Everything you’ve read or heard about “free sex” in the Sixties is pretty much true. It was a love fest and the worst that might happen is that you got the clap or crabs. No one was dying. And for awhile no one that I knew was having babies, either. It was as if God had said “go for it.” And we did. I’d lie in the black light glow of my closet tripping on acid and listening to the zipping and unzipping of sleeping bags as young lovers migrated from one to the other, their giggles and moans mingling with the steady drone of KSAN radio playing the soundtrack to our lives.

In the world of commerce, far from Hippie Hill and Panhandle Park, the free sex “thing” was a great way for newspapers and magazines to sell product. There was an international explosion of hippie-themed publications that dealt with sex, politics, art, etc. Some were legit. Some were pure exploitation. Some were both. A lot of periodicals actually contained the writings of well-respected thinkers like Allen Ginsberg and Timothy Leary and were read by the counter-culturists they were intended for. Others were designed to appeal to the gawkers and the “raincoat crowd.” Hippie shit sold and there were a bunch of easy angles for marketing it: sex, drugs and rock and roll. If you didn’t have the balls to be a part of it you could always imagine. Burn some incense, put on some sitar music and pull your pud as you pictured yourself surrounded by a bunch of flower children wearing beads, headbands and patchouli. Your very own hippie oasis in a rec room tricked out in plywood and shag carpeting. Walter Mitty as imagined by R. Crumb.

Here’s a collection of covers that run the gamut from authentically cool alternative press publications to some really goofy softcore pulp. As I was compiling these it became quickly apparent that putting naked hairy dudes on the covers was never part of the marketing plan. The free love movement still had some old school hangovers from Playboy magazine.
 

 

 
More groovy hippie shit after the jump…

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
Burly fireman stars in his own ‘sexy’ cheesecake calendar
04.29.2016
05:57 pm

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Sex

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Any woman (or man, for that matter) who has ever walked into an auto garage and rolled their eyes at the ridiculous pinups on the wall featuring scantily clad woman draped on top of Ford Torinos or holding Valvoline motor oil, will probably appreciate these bawdy pics.

This fantastic photo shoot was done to help a nonprofit called Books To The Rescue Yavapai County, which seeks “to help first responders limit the emotional impact of adverse childhood experiences” by providing comfort packages with books and toys.

The nonprofit was founded by Jasmine Castigliano, who had the idea of enlisting her photographer husband Chad for an, erm, “provocative” photo shoot that, in addition to being hilarious, also does achieves something important by lampooning some outdated gender images.

All we know about the hirsute firefighter in the pics is that his name is Tim—although he now goes by the moniker “the whimsical woodsman.”

You can buy your “Whimsical Woodman” calendar here—a portion of the proceeds does go to Books To The Rescue Yavapai County.
 

 

 
More hilarious and sexxxy pics after the jump…...

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
Feed your fictional cosmic entity fetish with these leather ‘Cthulhu’ masks
04.29.2016
10:24 am

Topics:
Amusing
Art
Sex

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Leather Cthulhu mask
Handmade, leather Cthulhu mask.
 
I recently stumbled on these fantastic looking leather “Cthulhu” masks while hard at “work” and man, they really are something to behold.

Although the various masks in this post are not specifically heralded as being the latest in far out “fetish” attire, I’d hedge a bet that a fair number of them have been purchased for just that very purpose. Created by Wasteland Artisan in Montreal, Canada, the description for these handmade, steampunk-style masks does note that you should not get your Cthulhu mask wet, but that “a little sweat” is okay (although of course may cause you to stink with the “stench as of a thousand opened graves.”) As far as I can tell, there are unsurprisingly no Cthulhu masks available at the moment (so I have no idea how much they cost), but Wasteland Artisan does do custom orders so I’m guessing if you just gotta have one of these things, it’s at least an option. I also found a “Hello Kitty” version of a Cthulhu mask that you can have custom made if that’s the way you like to play, because I don’t judge and neither should you.

Is “fhtagn victim” a pun?

 
Red leather Cthulhu mask
 
Blue leather Cthulhu mask
 
More images of these cosmic and creepy Cthulhu masks follow after the jump…

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
Bizarre Japanese superhero powered by panties on his face
04.28.2016
12:26 pm

Topics:
Movies
Sex

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The amazing 2103 movie Hentai Kamen: Forbidden Super Hero presents the exploits of a superhero with righteous abs and some frilly panties draped demurely over his face—indeed, it’s the panties that grant him his super powers.

Hentai is the Japanese word for “pervert,” and Americans generally use it as an all-encompassing term for Japanese porn, especially if it has a kinky element.

Hentai Kamen: Forbidden Super Hero is the movie adaptation of a comedy manga series written and illustrated by Keishū Ando that first appeared in 1992. Ando’s series was called Kyūkyoku!! Hentai Kamen, which translates as “Ultimate!! Pervert Mask.”
 

 
You might be tempted to imagine that the movie isn’t real, just the trailer is. Nope, it had a screening at the Japan Society in New York City in July 2013—it sold out—and it’s available on Amazon. Hell, a sequel came out earlier this year.

“You are a Hentai of Justice!” If there’s any, er, justice, that will be the next bit of bedroom palaver to sweep the world….
 

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
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