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Diabolic vintage illustrations of ‘spanking machines’
02.19.2016
11:02 am

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Amusing
Sex
Unorthodox

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An illustration of a
“Strafraum” (“penalty”). A German illustration of a “spanking machine,” 1930s
 
Now before you read any further into this post, you should know that I’m not at all a fan of corporal punishment. However, I am very much a fan of the great lengths inventors and perhaps sometimes kinky “free-thinkers” are willing to go to when it comes to building an automated contraption that does things that a human would normally do.
 
Illustration for a spanking machine, 1800s, UK
Illustration from the UK of a “spanking machine,” early 1800s. The clown is a nice touch, yes?
 

“The cane and the whip in the 19th century,” 1899
 
That said, the “spanking machines” you are about to see in this post, probably never became reality. Is it possible some of them were real? Sure, it’s possible. Whatever the case may be, it appears that as early as the 1800s, a great many people from Australia to Russia and of course the UK and U.S. were dreaming up new ways to spank the crap out of people’s asses. Sometimes for pleasure and sometimes as punishment. While the words pleasure and punishment can be interchangeable in some circles (I don’t judge and neither should you), I can assure you that the vast majority of people in the following images don’t look especially thrilled about what’s happening. That said, I’d consider some of what follows NSFW. Which is usually what you’re going to get if the title of a post includes the words “spanking machines.” Duh.
 
The
The “Rub A Dub Dub” spanking machine. An illustration by fetish artist, John Willie (aka John Alexander Scott Coutts), the founder of ‘Bizarre’ magazine . 1940s
 
More retro spanking contraptions after the jump…

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
There’s a Magic 8 Ball Butt-plug
02.17.2016
09:14 am

Topics:
Sex
Unorthodox

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Ah, the Magic 8 Ball: that old classic dimestore novelty oracle. You simply ask it a question, give it a shake, and the answer “mysteriously” appears in a blob of blue liquid in a small window on the underside of the ball.

Well, FINALLY, someone combined the classic pastimes of divination and ass-play. Ladies and gentlemen: The Magic 8 Ball Butt-plug.
 

 
Etsy seller GlowFYourself has created a butt-plug with a Magic 8 Ball attached to the “outside” end. Simply insert the plug, have your partner ask a question, and then give it a little twerk. Your answer will be revealed. The ball knows all.
 

 
“Will this hurt my anus?”

“Signs point to yes.”
 

 
The Magic 8 Ball Butt-plug is only $30—cheap!—from GlowFYourself.

Posted by Christopher Bickel | Leave a comment
Man turns his decades-worth of fingernail clippings into paperweights
01.07.2016
10:18 am

Topics:
Amusing
Art
Unorthodox

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I’m sorta speechless with this one. Not gonna lie. 

Anyway, 45-year-old Queens resident Mike Drake collects his fingernail and toenail clippings and turns them into acrylic paperweights which sell for $300 - $500 a pop. It’s called ART, dammit. Try not to be so judgmental.

“I used to bite my nails, and I wondered how long they could grow. And then I wondered how much I might be able to accumulate.”

So he collected his nail clippings in a Ziploc baggie for about a year, and was about to throw them out when inspiration struck. He decided to do something ‘artistic’ with them.

“I realised I went to all that effort, and I figured, in for a penny, in for a pound. I already worked with acrylics as a hobby so I decided to make paperweights.”

Makes sense.

Drake only makes one paperweight weight per year using a greenish-acrylic tint because the jade color “gives off an emerald quality.”

The more you know.


 

 
via WOW and Huffington Post

 

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Stop what you’re doing and watch this insane ‘cooming soon’ trailer for the ‘Ugandan Expendables’
01.06.2016
09:14 am

Topics:
Movies
Unorthodox

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Wakaliga, a small village in Uganda is home to Ramon Film Productions. This small studio has churned out dozens of ultra-low-budget action films in the Ugandan slums which have developed a bit of a cult following on the Internet. The village has been nicknamed “Wakaliwood” and is home to a group of actors, martial artists, stunt-people, and technicians who have signed on with filmmaker Nabwana IGG to make some of the wildest and weirdest z-grade action movies ever seen.

The studio gained some notoriety when their film Who Killed Captain Alex went viral on YouTube.

The hallmark of the Wakaliwood film is lots of fighting and unbelievably over-the-top CGI special defects that are used so shamelessly that you almost forget how terrible they are. There’s something incredibly endearing about these productions. It’s like a modern African take on the whole Little Rascals “let’s put on a show!” aesthetic—peppered with shitloads of fake blood and explosions.

Ramon Film Productions have released a new trailer for their “cooming soon” film, Operation Kakongoliro! The Ugandan Expendables.

Whereas the budget of Who Killed Captain Alex has been stated as $200 USD, this new film has a stated budget of $2000. Obviously that means it’s ten times as good.
 

 
The mind-melting trailer and more, after the jump…

Posted by Christopher Bickel | Leave a comment
Punish your Fox News-watching relatives this Thanksgiving with 2 hours of Barry Manilow’s ‘Mandy’
11.25.2015
08:52 am

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Music
Unorthodox

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Here’s one to take home to the family for Thanksgiving.

When your Fox News-watching parents or drunk racist uncle starts slipping the talk about Syrian refugees or Black Lives Matter protesters into the holiday dinner conversation, you’ll need to diffuse the situation fast—and as music hath charms to soothe the savage beast, Barry Manilow’s music is the most soothingest.

Here we have a lovely remix of Barry Manilow‘s 70s AM radio classic, “Mandy,” normally 3:14 minutes long, here extended to a punishing two hours and fifteen minutes.

Delight or threaten your family with this timeless ballad, now seamlessly drawn out to inhumane lengths.

Make it a game. Anytime someone brings up how much they appreciate how Trump “tells it like it is,” give ‘em fifteen more minutes of “Mandy.” If Rush Limbaugh’s name comes up, that’s probably worth a half hour of “Mandy” waterboarding. If anyone says they “like that Ben Carson,” well, just make them leave.

This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for YouTube user Richard Shuping‘s remorseless gift that, like the titular Mandy, came and gave without takin’...

And it keeps giving and giving and giving… IT DOESN’T STOP GIVING:
 

Posted by Christopher Bickel | Leave a comment
Can Halen: Some genius mashed up David Lee Roth with everyone’s favorite Krautrock band
11.16.2015
08:32 am

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Music
Unorthodox

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This is totally a one-note joke, but it could also be argued that Diamond Dave is a one-note singer.

YouTube user and goddamned genius Jim Haney took that Van Halen vocals-only track from “Runnin’ With the Devil” that’s been floating around the Internet for a few years and laid it over the top of an edited version of Can’s “Mother Sky.”

The result is magical.

This is the dumbest, most crucial thing you’ll hear all day:
 

Posted by Christopher Bickel | Leave a comment
67-year-old grindcore-singing mom is way more brutal than you
11.10.2015
08:45 am

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Music
Unorthodox

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A 67-year-old mom from Canada is proving that getting older simply means getting more brutal. She calls herself “The Grindmother” and she’s no mere novelty. Her vocals are paint-peeling face-rippers and when she tells you to “clean your fucking room,” I’d suggest minding what momma says.
 

 
The Grindmother got her start as the supportive parent of a member of Canada’s Corrupt Leaders, obliging to lay down some vocals on one of her son’s songs. She obviously had a good time with that project because now she’s got her own gig. Her sick shrieks grabbed the attention of Ozzy Osbourne, who recently tweeted a link to her video for “Any Cost.”

You can download the track from her Bandcamp or watch the video here:
 

 
More of the Grindmother, after the jump…

Posted by Christopher Bickel | Leave a comment
Gas & Grass (forget the ass for now)
11.09.2015
02:00 pm

Topics:
Drugs
Unorthodox

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There used to be a famous bumper sticker in the 1970s that warned would-be hitchhikers that they were expected to pay for their lifts with “Gas, Grass or Ass, No One Rides for Free.” It was a familiar sight, normally festooned on a VW bus:


 
A new business that’s opened in Colorado Springs, Colorado called “Gas & Grass” is aiming to satisfy at least two of these requirements (Can you guess which two?).

The “Gas and Grass” gas station is located adjacent to a Native Roots medical marijuana dispensary, although they have separate entrances as state law will not allow pot shops to sell non-marijuana products. Medical marijuana patients shopping at the dispensary will get discounted gasoline, similar to a rewards program with a 5 cent reduction in the per gallon price of gasoline. Upon registering with the Native Roots collective, the new patient will also receive a one time free full tank of gas.


 
At first blush this seemed a bit nutty to me, from a “public relations” perspective, certainly, but the fact of the matter is that most gas stations these days at least sell beer, if not hard alcohol. If I had to chose, I’d much rather face someone high coming at me down a country road than someone drunk, any day. Hell, I’m more against people hopped up on Starbucks coffee getting behind the wheel of a car than those who are mellowed out on weed. Why not sell pot? And why not try to appeal to the pothead who might need to pick up a gram of hash oil and a gallon of milk and gas up on the way home? Chances are there are quite a few folks who might like to do all of their errands in one place like this. I’d personally patronize such an establishment. If their rewards program was commensurate with my pot consumption, I’d have free gas for life.
 

 
Via Arbroath

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
You put your weed in it: Vape on the go with smokable hoodies
11.03.2015
02:43 pm

Topics:
Drugs
Fashion
Unorthodox

Tags:


 
Although most credible observers think all fifty states will see legal pot by 2020, today there are still quite a few holdouts, places where you might want to keep things a little more discrete and on the down-low…

Enter VAPRWEAR, a newly-launched apparel company that makes “Smokable Hoodies.” The collar of each one of their stoner sweatshirts comes with a vape system built in where the hoodies’ drawstrings normally are. How convenient!
 

 
Now this is what I call functional fashion: You put your weed in it. And not just your weed, VAPRWEAR‘s system is friendly to hash oil, wax, e-juice and other similar preparations. They’re also open to making custom vaporizer apparel.
 

 

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
The Finnish punk rock band made up of Down syndrome and autistic members that almost won Eurovision
11.02.2015
09:15 am

Topics:
Music
Punk
Unorthodox

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Earlier this year, the punk rock band Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät, or PKN, represented Finland in the Eurovision Song Contest, making it all the way to the semi-final before getting knocked out. What makes this band’s ascent to nearly-claiming Europe’s top song-writing prize so remarkable is the fact that all four members of the group are developmentally disabled.

Essentially, PKN is the punkest band in existence.
 

 
PKN formed in a charity workshop for adults with developmental disabilities in 2004 and eventually debuted in 2009. The band’s song “Kallioon!” was featured in the 2009 film Vähän Kunnioitusta which gave them a great deal of national exposure.

As their fame grew, they became the subject of the 2012 documentary The Punk Syndrome. Their continued success led to them entering and winning Finland’s national selection for the Eurovision Song Contest. Their entry, initially to raise awareness for people with Down syndrome, sent them as their country’s representative to Eurovision. Incidentally, they were also the first punk band to compete in the Eurovision contest.

The band is so beloved that Posti, Finland’s postal service, issued a PKN postage stamp in May.
 

 
The band’s album Best of Greatest Hits is available as an MP3 download.

Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät embodies everything I’ve ever loved about punk rock, from being a voice for the socially rejected, to the indictment of virtuosity as a prerequisite for making powerful music, to the overall “fuck you, I’m me, deal with it, have fun or get lost” spirit—this band is truly transcendent, and their groundbreaking success gives us all a little bit more hope for humanity.
 
Continues after the jump…

Posted by Christopher Bickel | Leave a comment
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