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The MONDO 2000 History Project: begins!

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So begins R.U. Sirius’s history of Mondo 2000 magazine and its circle of fellow travelers. I approve of how it starts with this wonderful personal anecdote about his first exposure to the underground press as a teen, in the form of the San Francisco Oracle. Many people will tell you of an “Oh wow! This exists! And there must be more of it!” epiphany like this—I had a similar experience discovering David Bowie and reading Lester Bangs in Creem magazine eight years later—and it’s a highly enjoyable essay. Worth pointing out that kids today and forevermore will be unable to have an experience like this due to the always on mediascape we inhabit today. Discovering something rare used to require luck, a knack for ferreting out weird stuff or a hip relative. Not saying it would be preferable to go back to this earlier era, of course, I’m just saying that back then it took work:

Let the story beginning in the Spring of 1967. I am 14 years old and in 9th grade. It’s early evening and the doorbell rings at the suburban house in Binghamton, New York where I live with my mom and dad. It’s a group of my friends and they’re each carrying a plastic bag and looking mighty pleased. They come in, we shuffle into the guest room (where the record player is kept) and they show off their gatherings — buttons (“Frodo Lives!” “Mary Poppins is a Junkie” “Flower Power”), beads, posters (hallucinatory), incense with a Buddha incense burner, and kazoos. A lonely looking newspaper lays at the bottom of the pile, as though shameful, the only item unremarked.

Without realizing the implications, I happen to throw side one of Between The Buttons on the player. Eventually, the song “Cool Calm and Collected” plays and a kazoo sounds through the speakers. In an instant, newly purchased kazoos are wielded and The Rolling Stones only-ever kazoo solo is joined by three wailing teenagers, bringing sudden shouts of objection from my famously liberal and tolerant Dad in the living room. It’s quickly determined that it’s late, Dad’s tired, and it’s time to send all kazoo-wielding teens packing. As each of the friends moves to retrieve his items, I grab the newspaper to see what it is. There are, I now see, two of them — two editions of something called “The Oracle.” It has hallucinatory visuals on the cover and boasts an interview with a member of The Byrds (David Crosby). Vinnie, who had bought it — but who, despite writing poetry — avoids any signifiers of intellectual curiosity as the teen status crushers that they are, feigns disinterest and gives the copies to me.

And that’s where it begins, this strange love affair with the periodical, particularly the periodical that has flair and style… where you can almost feel the energy and fun emanating off the pages.

I remember only one thing from the content inside those two Oracles and that’s David Crosby denying that he was “some kind of weird freak who fucks ten chicks a day.” That stuck in my mind. I didn’t know it was possible even to think that, much less print it, much less be in a position to find it necessary to deny being it!

How great is that last sentence?

Read the entire essay—and support the project—here.

 

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Getting inked: hurts so good!
05.20.2010
02:22 pm

Topics:
Unorthodox

Tags:
WTF
Tattooing

 
Holy, WTF!  I’m not sure what’s more disturbing about the above clip: the 23-year-old woman’s screams, or the tattoo artist’s lack of any response whatsoever?  Oh, and the saga continues: here’s the Part II of sorts.

Posted by Bradley Novicoff | Leave a comment
The Crab Revenge Kit
05.11.2010
10:14 am

Topics:
Unorthodox

Tags:
Crabs
Lice
Pranking

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I think I might have once sent a professor of mine a long-dead fish in the mail.  I know—boring!  Where was CrabRevenge when I needed it?  Who knew it’s not illegal (not specifically, and not in England, anyway) to deliberately infect an ex, loved one, or unsuspecting friend with crabs?

The site goes out of its way to let you to know it in no way, like, endorses infecting people with crabs.  But, proving once again a good rhyme is hard to resist, its apparent motto is, “make that bitch itch.”  For the still-curious (or still-scheming), Crabrevenge offers a choice of 3 color-coded crab packages:

GREEN: Single Crabs Colony.  This colony may contain as many as 30 individual eggs in a single clutch.  These will hatch within days of arrival and mature within the following week.  This package is great for any one person and will definitely do the job.

BLUE: Three Crabs Colonies.  Contains three batches of around 30 eggs.  Use the first one straight away and you can freeze the other two batches for over 160 days, or…you could get revenge on three people at once or carpet bomb someone’s car or house to have them itching for a long time.  Maybe your friends want in on the action and you would like to take advantage of the discount pricing?

RED: Shampoo Resistant F strain Crabs.  One colony of F strain super crabs.  We have gone through a lot of work but now we are finally able to introduce the F Strain Lice!  These crabs are almost impossible to get rid off and have been through over a year of selective lab breeding to be the most aggressive and most reproductive species on the planet!  This species can take up to two weeks to get rid off and apparently bite so much they cause the victim to scratch themselves raw and we can guarantee than nothing apart from two washes of everything the victim owns and a 100% delousing solution coverage will get rid of them!

The payment system at Crabrevenge seems to be down right now lending one, naturally, to suspect a hoax.  If that’s so, you can visit its possibly more legitimate competitor site, RevengeCrabs

Site sells pubic crabs for revenge

Posted by Bradley Novicoff | Leave a comment
Glenn Palin 2012
05.04.2010
08:29 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Politics
Unorthodox

Tags:
Sarah Palin
Glenn Beck

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You’re welcome.
 
(via Unique Daily)

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Soup Torture
05.02.2010
03:51 pm

Topics:
Unorthodox

Tags:
soup
torture

 
Don’t you hate it when this happens?

Via Robert Popper.

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Man having child with his grandmother
04.30.2010
11:28 am

Topics:
Unorthodox

Tags:
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AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

AHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY FARK NO GAHHHHHHHHH!@UY%@^%!*&!(

Kids these days. Too much respect for their elders.

Pearl Carter is positively glowing with joy. She has a handsome new boyfriend, is enjoying an active sex life after many years of celibacy and, amazingly, is preparing to become a mother again.

But the retired grandmother isn’t carrying the baby herself. She and her young lover have spent a staggering $54,000 hiring a surrogate to help them with their dreams of having a child.

What makes Pearl’s decision to become a mum again even more shocking is that her new boyfriend is her biological grandson, 26-year-old Phil Bailey.

(Tribal War: ‘I’m in love with my grandson and we’re having a baby’)

Posted by Jason Louv | Leave a comment
Man Blows Bloody Nose On Girlfriend, Faces Charges
04.27.2010
09:35 am

Topics:
Unorthodox

Tags:
Blood
Noses
Spraying Blood From Noses

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C’mon, people, this happened to me all the time in 8th grade, and not once did I ever press charges:

A Florida man is facing misdemeanor battery charges for holding closed one nostril and blowing bloody mucus on his girlfriend after a fight.  The 44-year-old Crestview man had been in an altercation before blowing the contents of his nose on his girlfriend, the Crestview Bulletin reports.

Details of the fight in which the man received the bloody nose were not released.  The woman was splattered with snot containing the blood and other bodily fluids on her face, chest, arms and pants, but showed no signs of any injury that could have caused the blood to be hers.

Is it that hard to sustain a relationship these days without having to splatter your mate with nose blood?  Hey, unnamed Crestview couple, take a cue from Sarah and Colin Kavanagh!

Man Faces Charges For Blowing Bloody Nose On Girlfriend

Posted by Bradley Novicoff | Leave a comment
Unicorn and Son
04.21.2010
08:50 am

Topics:
Amusing
Unorthodox

Tags:

image
 
(via Unique Daily)

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Mother And Daughter Banned From Disneyland For Being Too “Princess-like”

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For years now, and at GREAT personal expense, I’ve been quietly putting together a convincing Prince Charming outfit, praying waiting for the day I could sneak into Disneyland and cavort undetected with Jasmine and Pooh.

Well, thanks to Natasha Narula (above right) and her daughter, Drew, I can now kiss that dream goodbye.  Hey, Natasha, next time you wanna “blend,” maybe pick something more elaborate than that shabby 40-dollar wedding dress?!

The mother-of-two told yesterday how she was left ‘stunned and humiliated’ after being ordered to return to her hotel to change when staff insisted she could not enter the complex in fancy dress because she could be mistaken for a Disney princess.  She said that one of them then told her the dress was ‘too pretty’ and may be confused for a member of staff in character.

‘But I spoke to a manager and she said they were concerned children would think I worked there and wanted to have their picture with me.  ‘I didn’t even have any make-up on and didn’t look anything like the characters in the park, it wasn’t like I was wearing a big Mickey Mouse outfit, it was just a dress.  She was forced to change into an old pair of jeans and a shirt before she was eventually admitted to the park.  Drew was allowed to keep her dress on. 

The divorced mother said: ‘I was just a bit of fun for me and my daughter but we were treated like criminals.  ‘The only things I had left were what I’d worn the night before so I had to go into the park wearing dirty clothes.  Disneyland confirmed it had a global policy banning adults from wearing fancy dress in their theme parks.  A spokesman said: ‘No one over the age of nine is allowed to enter our theme parks in fancy dress.  It prevents confusion.’

Ah, yes, “confusion.”  I’m sure that’s exactly what it prevents!

Mother and Daughter Banned from Disneyland…Because They Were Dressed as Fairy Princesses

Posted by Bradley Novicoff | Leave a comment
The Home Restaurant Phenomenon
04.20.2010
12:53 pm

Topics:
Unorthodox

Tags:
Home Restaurant
Stoke Newington

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My friend Matthew Lee, London food critic at large, just published this article about Horton Jupiter, a Stoke Newington DJ who converted his living room into a restaurant—sparking a trend across the United Kingdom. First person to import to the US wins.

The neighbours must find it rather odd. Every Wednesday evening since January, two dozen strangers have congregated outside a small flat on a Stoke Newington housing estate. The flat belongs to Horton Jupiter, a musician, DJ and amateur chef whose decision to open a restaurant in his front room has sparked a phenomenon. Within months, numerous home restaurants, also known as supper clubs, had popped up throughout the UK.

Using applications such as Facebook and Twitter to get the word out, these courageous cooks have dragged the restaurant industry into the social networking age. And home restaurants are, above all, social. Guests are seated at large tables, dinner party-style, and encouraged to chat to strangers. It’s a world apart from a candlelit dinner for two.

Horton had no intention of being a pioneer. ““I have a book called This Diary Will Change Your Life and each week it sets you a task”,” he explains. ““Week two was to start a restaurant in your front room, so I did.””

(The Home Restaurant Phenomenon)

Posted by Jason Louv | Leave a comment
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