There’s a possible game show here: call it something like What’s Up My Ass? in which contestants have to smuggle a selection of goods past a panel of celebrity prison officers. It’s like What’s My Line? except with discretely hidden contraband.

A potential contestant for such a show would certainly be 35-year-old André Silva de Jesus, who was arrested after attempting to smuggle a surprising number of items into a prison in Ribeirao das Neves, Greater Belo Horizonte, Brazil.

André Silva managed to secrete two mobile phones, two batteries, pliers, two drills, eight pieces of a hacksaw, five nails and three Sim cards up his anus. On arrival at the prison, the man presented guards with a medical certificate which claimed he had a pacemaker and was therefore exempt from passing through the facility’s x-ray machine. However, the guards became suspicious of André Silva’s “nervousness” and searched him. Military police were called in to “record the occurrence” but it is not known which inmate was to receive the smuggled contraband.

In an innuendo-laden statement, the Secretariat for Prison Administration said authorities had “opened an internal procedure to determine what happened.” Sounds painful.

As there is no news footage for this story (quelle surprise!), so here’s one that was put together earlier…
 

 
Via Arbroath