Elmira Humphries, Miss Radio Queen - 1939
 
From “Miss Beautiful Ape” to “The Diaper Queen” of Chicago in 1947, there there are a seemingly endless variety of strange beauty contests that have been crowning queens since early 1900s.
 

Miss Beautiful Ape contest, Century City, California - 1972
 
Take for instance the “Miss Beautiful Ape” contest that was held in Los Angeles back in the early 70s. Put on by disc jockey and television personality Gary Owens (whose golden pipes announced the comedy variety show Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In) in Century City, the contest was a promotion vehicle for the Planet of the Apes film franchise. The winner of the contest, Dominique Green (contestant number two on the far right) was awarded a role in the fifth (and final) Planet of the Apes film, 1973’s Battle for the Planet of the Apes.

Naturally, all of these “contests” were means for some sort of revenue generating scheme, and not so much the prestige associated with being crowned “Miss Diaper Queen” (contestants were required to wear cloth diapers), “Miss Lube Job” for the local auto repair shop or “Miss NRA” for which contestants sported a huge fake “tattoo” of the NRA’s blue eagle emblem on their back. In some cases, NRA contestants placed a stencil of the emblem on their backs while sunbathing so the logo could be displayed by way of their tan lines. Wow.
 

Miss NRA contestants being judged in Miami, early 1930s
 

Miss NRA contestants with blue eagle NRA logo tan lines, early 1930s
 
I’m no fan of beauty contests but in all honestly, I much prefer the frivolity of throwback contests that would crown Donut Queens to the more modern beauty contests like the Miss Plastic contest in Hungary. The requirements for entry to Miss Plastic are pretty simple -  you must have had at least one top-of-the-line cosmetic enhancement surgery. Because this is Hungary, not LA. Tons of images from bizarre beauty contests of the past follow.
 

National Pork Queen (in association with the Illinois Pork Producers Association) 1961/1962
 

Miss Diaper Queen 1947, Betty Barrett (crowned at a convention for the Diaper Service Institute of America, Chicago)
 

Miss Lube Rack, 1951 (Los Angeles)
 

A policeman judging ankles in England, 1930
 

Kathleen Townsend (age nineteen), National Laugh Queen of 1961 (New York City)
 

Queen of Cuisine, 1964
 

The various contestants vying for the title of Miss Subways, 1945 (New York City)
 

Queen of Anti-Triskaidekaphobia (fear of the number thirteen) Cindy Carol, 1963
 

Miss Portable Radio, Tedi Thurman. Thurman was also famous for being the “weather girl” on the NBC radio show, ‘Monitor’ during the 50s and early 60s
 

Miss Outdoor Health (sitting on what appears to be a dirty pile of snow), late 50s
 

The last Miss Atomic Bomb, Lee Merlin 1957. The Miss Atomic Bomb pageant ran for five years and “celebrated” the nuclear testing at Yucca Flat, Nevada, 65 miles outside of Las Vegas.

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
This 1958 ‘Beautiful Eyes’ contest is the creepiest thing I’ve seen in quite a while