Dangerous Minds pal Michael Simmons got a listen to the new Bob Dylan album, Christmas In the Heart  and reviewed it over at MOJO. Here’s his verdict:

Overall, it’s without a doubt the most minor and oddest record in Bob’s canon. The 15 selections are all straightforward Christmas standards and there’s a cognitive dissonance on hearing He Who Gargles With Battery Acid backed by what sound like the Anita Kerr Singers. That Dylan’s voice is shot (albeit poignantly so) isn’t as glaring when he sings If You Ever Go To Houston; it’s when he attempts Winter Wonderland. And throughout Christmas In The Heart Dylan makes Tom Waits sound like Antony Hegarty.

Moreover, the mixture of kitsch and reverence is surreal, referencing both his jokey Theme Time Radio Hour persona and the Born-Again Bob’s true believer trip, reinforced by graphics that include the Three Wise Men as well as Bettie Page in a scanty Santa get-up.

I think Michael’s being way too kind. If I had a job in a retail environment and I was forced to listen to this over and over again, I’d gouge my ears out:

Read more: Dylan’s Christmas Album: First Listen!