I have often said there is nothing more consistent across geography, culture, or religion than the tacky-ass aesthetics of the nouveau riche. (Okay, so I haven’t always said that, but it’s clearly totally true.)

Whether they be the Texan Baptist oil baroness with her hair to the sky (the higher the hair, the closer to heaven, darlin’!), or the Long Island Catholic mogul’s wife with the face fulla’ slap, certain looks just transcend, and there’s nothing like seeing an Islam promo featuring what appears to be the cast members from “Real Housewives of Dubai” to really drive that home. (By the way, I would watch the hell out of a “Real Housewives of Dubai,” so why doesn’t it exist yet?)

These primped and coiffed (and glittered, glossed, nipped, and tucked) folks’ particular interpretation of Islam discourages Darwinism (as many religions do), atheism (as most religions do), and communism (well of course you’re going to say that- we can’t have the working class cutting in to your Botox money!) The only thing that really seems off is when they claim they’re against “materialism.” Come on dudes, I’m looking right at you! Own it!