Pogonophiles rejoice! A new app called Bristlr is now up and running, uniting the bearded and their admirers in what is quite possibly the most niche of all millennial social media networks. I say “whatever floats your boat,” of course, but I can’t help but find Bristlr’s mission statement a little evasive. Look, although this app started off as a joke, the response was so great that they clearly saw a golden business opportunity catering to beard pervs, so why, when asked if they’re a “dating” site would they respond with:

Maybe, it depends if you use it to go on dates. Most dating apps are pretty heavy going. We shifted the focus from hook ups to a more light-hearted, warmer-in-winter kind of thing. Instead of expecting to go home with someone, we hope to have a nice chat and share a mutual admiration of a beard or two. We like beards. Beards are great.

Come clean, Bristlr! Just prior in the FAQ you pitched yourself as:

There are many people with beards who like to have them stroked.

And there are many people who don’t have beards, but would like to stroke them.

Bristlr is the link between the two.

 

 
Look, I don’t care what happens between consenting adults and their beards but I say Bristlr would do better by letting their freak flag fly and just acknowledging that this is primarily a hipster fetish site. If they want to be even more honest, they could admit that the male to female ratio will probably hover around 1,000 to 1, but let’s leave a little bit to fantasy, shall we?
 

 
Via CNET