Capitalism, now with more titties: Libertarian ‘candidate’ Gary Johnson attempts to be ‘cool’

Gary Johnson Poster
Because massive privatization, environmental and financial deregulation, and the destruction of what little social safety net we have is cool if we can smoke weed
 
As we endure this seemingly never-ending and completely grueling election season, one of the most iniquitous injustices pervading the public discourse is the undemocratic nature of the two-party system. Beyond the obvious advantage of the wealthy in electoral politics, so institutionalized are these major parties that they can’t possible represent the needs and values of such a diverse electorate! There must be a better way!

Enter Gary Johnson, the Libertarian candidate. He’s the man’s man’s candidate, assuming of course, all ‘men’s men’ are my Uncle Levi, who runs a chop shop in Georgia, the walls of which are adorned with similar posters, albeit generally featuring I-Roc Zs.

The poster, created by a fan and shared on Johnson’s facebook page, has been received with quite the controversy, both in support and condemnation. Here are some highlights:

“If we get an ad for the ladies, may we please opt for an intelligent, respectful, attractive, mature gentlemen in stylish clothes reading the contribution[sic? Constitution?], or labeling our GMOs, in lieu of a mostly naked guy on a sandless beach?”

“Oh come on and enlighten up folks. It got my vote.”

“Stop hating yall…sex sells! GJ for prez 2012.”

“How does Gary feel about GMOs? I have not heard him speak on the issue. Anyone know?”

“As a libertarian, he stands for small government. This means saying no to crony capitalism, which gives monopolies to the Monsantos of the world. Without those monopolies, and having a free market returned, corporations like those lose their power and, real organic foods will once again make a comeback to the mainstream and make short work of Monsanto and its domination over US food supply.”

“I am much more offended by corporate whores than pretty girls.”

Regardless of your opinion on the ad, it sends a clear message: Gary Johnson isn’t like those sexist, Republican prudes! And Gary Johnson believes women should make their own choices about their bodies!  And those values inform his policies! From his website:

Life is precious and must be protected. A woman should be allowed to make her own decisions during pregnancy until the point of viability of a fetus.

And there you have it! Clear as day! No room for patriarchy in that language! I mean, unless you’re trying to abort a “viable” fetus, you have complete body autonomy! Because they’re the party of Liberty. And if we can just get government out of the way, we can be free to pursue a future where we’re rewarded for initial advantages and natural strengths!

Capitalism: it owns your titties. And will try to sell you “better” ones.

 

Posted by Amber Frost

 

 

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