From Sire Records’ promo for The Pretenders’ album Last of the Independents.

• Don’t moan about being a chick, refer to feminism or complain about sexist discrimination. We’ve all been thrown down stairs and fucked about, but no one wants to hear a whining female. Write a loosely disguised song about it instead and clean up ($).

• Never pretend you know more than you do. If you don’t know chord names, refer to the dots. Don’t go near the desk unless you plan on becoming an engineer.

• Make the other band members look and sound good. Bring out the best in them; that’s your job. Oh, and you better sound good, too.

• Do not insist on working with “females”; that’s just more b.s. Get the best man for the job. If it happens to be a woman, great — you’ll have someone to go to department stores with on tour instead of making one of the road crew go with you.

• Try not to have a sexual relationship within the band. It always ends in tears.

• Don’t think that sticking your boobs out and trying to look fuckable will help. Remember you’re in a rock and roll band. It’s not “fuck me,” it’s “fuck you”!

• Don’t try to compete with the guys; it won’t impress anybody. Remember, one of the reasons they like you is because you don’t offer yet more competition to the already existing male egos.

• If you sing, don’t “belt” or “screech.” No one wants to hear that shit; it sounds “hysterical.”

• Shave your legs, for chrissakes!

• Don’t take advice from people like me. Do your own thing always.