Doesn’t feel like this happened 10 years ago, does it?
 
Here’s the One Republican Debate Question Each Candidate Doesn’t Want: Weirdly, “Why do you think you are qualified to be president when your election to that office would represent an unmitigated catastrophe for the country?” didn’t make the list. (Swampland)

The GOP Debate Drinking Game, Special Trump Edition: Just be careful, people: Alcohol poisoning is a real thing. (Alternet)

Has America’s Disgust at SeaWorld Already Peaked? Blackfish did a lot of damage, but if you have Hulu you may have seen SeaWorld’s aggressive “explanatory” commercials lately. (Slate)

DEA Admits That Marijuana Is Safer Than Heroin: Were they previously claiming that it was as dangerous as heroin?? (Wonkblog)

iTunes Is Now Illegal in the UK (Kind Of): The Europeans have had a more scrupulous privacy and copyright regime for a while now—and now perhaps that mindset will make it to the U.S. Will Apple use its endless cash reserves to lobby Capitol Hill? Does the Pope shit in the woods? (Consequence of Sound)

The Definitive Oral History of Kid Rock: More interesting than you’re expecting. And tons of goofy pics of the erstwhile Robert James Ritchie. (Detroit Free Press)

The Smithsonian’s Mini-Documentary on Slayer and Thrash Metal: “Auschwitz, the meaning of pain / The way that I want you to die / Slow death, immense decay / Showers that cleanse you of your life…..” (Rolling Stone)

Stephen King Proposes Trump Campaign Slogan: “If you’re white, you’re all right!” Ha ha! (CNN)

Going Clear Movie Director “Disappointed” Jon Stewart Didn’t Confront Tom Cruise: Contains this beautifully deadpan passage: “He wondered out loud that he might like to see, as a stunt, Tom Cruise jump into a volcano. It was a veiled reference to Scientology’s sci-fi origin story in which Xenu, the galactic overlord, drops narcotized aliens into volcanoes and then peppers them with atomic bombs, insuring that Teegeeack, the prison planet—a.k.a. Earth—would forever be haunted by bits and pieces of those pulverized spirits.” (Hollywood Reporter)

No, Ted Cruz Did Not Cook Bacon With A Machine Gun: Thing is, it was an AR-15 rifle. But you can’t really expect latte-swilling conservatives to understand guns, now can you? (TPM)

Presidential Elections Have a Game Design Problem: “Early Elimination is usually considered to be an unwanted feature in multiplayer games with long play time, especially in the case of face to face board or card games, as the eliminated player remains outside the play for the rest of the game instance.” (Kill Screen)

Below, Slayer kicking ass in Cleveland on Groundhog Day of 1991: