In five years your car will prevent you from driving drunk:  If it’s determined the driver is over the legal limit with blood alcohol concentration of 0.08 percent or higher, the vehicle will not start. What about texting then? (Popular Science)

Get Baked Sale: San Francisco to host marihuana food fair. (Associated Press)

Dems Torpedo Obama’s Trade Push: Matt Drudge even praised Nancy Pelosi. Think the GOP has wildly miscalculated with this, the ONE time they decided to get behind Obama? Sure looks that way to me. This isn’t going to end well for the Republicans. Their base is furious over this. (The Daily Beast)

Elizabeth Warren unloads on bankers: “The problem is not that I don’t understand the global banking system. The problem for these guys is that I fully understand the system and I understand how they make their money. And that’s what they don’t like about me.” (Huffington Post)

Dogs snub people who are mean to their owners: Dogs do not like people who are mean to their owners, Japanese researchers said Friday, and will refuse food offered by people who have snubbed their master. (Yahoo!)

Boob tubes: Breast grown in lab will test cancer treatments. (New Scientist)

This 17-Year-Old Ran ISIS Twitter from Northern Virginia: Ali Shukri Amin, a former Osbourn Park High School honors student in Manassas, Va., pleaded guilty on Thursday to “conspiring to provide material support to terrorists.” (Raw Story)

Dem unveils automatic voter registration bill: You get a driver’s license and then 21 days later, you’ll have been automatically registered to vote. The Republicans are going to hate this bill, and the Democrats know this, of course, but want the GOP to go on record against democracy. This should be fun! (The Hill)

Hotel mogul kicked out of gay bar over Ted Cruz affiliation: “Upon their departure, the crowd cheered” one onlooker posted to Facebook (Page Six)

Could Hulk Hogan destroy Gawker? Gawker founder Nick Denton admitted on Twitter that the fate of his company hangs in the balance of $100 million dollar sex tape lawsuit tried on Hogan’s turf (The Week)

Marco Rubio is now at the top of the Republican presidential field: In certain circles that would pass as some sort of “accomplishment.” (Washington Post)

Obama: A vote against trade is a vote against me: Go to hell then, Mr. President. (Politico)

As currency dies, Zimbabweans will get $5 for 175 quadrillion local dollars: The national currency is basically worthless. (Yahoo! News)

Get ready for changes to your Facebook News Feed: Facebook announced an update to the News Feed that changes what stories it will show you based on how much time you spend viewing the post, article, photo, or comments. (The Daily Dot)

Below, a commercial for the anatomically correct (and pissing) “Joey Stivic: Archie Bunker’s grandson doll”: