Wake Up, Sheeple! The Military Exercise That Drove Texas Insane Is Finally Here: The multi-state U.S. military training exercise dubbed “Jade Helm 15,” which has spawned myriad conspiracy theories and vexed public officials who struggled to allay the concerns of constituents, is finally here. (Talking Points Memo)

‘Kiss My Rebel Ass’: Ted Nugent and Kid Rock have teamed up to record a song in support of the Confederate flag. “When you get a text from the Nuge, you know you’ve done something right,” laughed Rock. Really, asshole? Most people would have the opposite reaction. Kid Rock, even dumber than he looks! (Ultimate Classic Rock)

Fugitive drug kingpin busted with 9 kilos of heroin: Alexander Dume-Santana, 35, was arrested Thursday afternoon after cops said they noticed him driving recklessly. When they stopped him, they said they discovered seven kilos of heroin in his vehicle. They later searched his house, where detectives discovered another two kilos of heroin, a 9 mm handgun and $340,000 cash. (Boston Herald)

In Fiery Speeches, Francis Excoriates Global Capitalism: Pope Francis does not just criticize the excesses of global capitalism. He compares them to the “dung of the devil.” He does not simply argue that systemic “greed for money” is a bad thing. He calls it a “subtle dictatorship” that “condemns and enslaves men and women.” (New York Times)

Clinton speech reaction: ‘Is that it?’: Hillary Clinton gave a big economics speech in NYC today and the snap reaction among Wall Street investors, economists and ardent financial reformers who thrill to the soak-the-rich rhetoric of Bernie Sanders was a collective: “Meh. What’s next?” (Politico)

‘Hackers’ give orders to German missile battery: German-owned Patriot missiles stationed in Turkey were briefly taken over by hackers, according to media reports on Tuesday. (The Local.de)

50 Cent Files for Bankruptcy: 50 Cent has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy as an individual, court papers uncovered by the Wall Street Journal indicate. Though the rapper is and has been engaged in a number of prominent business enterprises—he was said to have made at least $60 million off Coca-Cola’s 2007 purchase of Vitamin Water—a box is checked on the filing which attests that his debts are “consumer debts” that were “incurred by an individual primarily for a personal, family, or household purpose.” The form says he has both assets and debts in the $10-$50 million range. Idiot. (Slate)

Fox & Friends rips ‘Mockingbird’ sequel as ‘revisionist fiction’ for making white hero into a racist: Whoever called Steve Doocey “dumb as piss” is… absolutely 100% correct. (The Raw Story)

Another Dumb A-Hole Is Going To Not Be President, And This Time It’s Scott Walker: Compared to Donald Trump, Walker looks like Charlie Brown. Jeb Bush as Linus? When Trump can turn the entire the entire GOP slate into Peanuts characters, the Republicans have got a real problem on their hands. (Wonkette)

Strunk and White’s Macho Grammar Club: The sleek, no-frills esthetic of Modernism and the gray-flannel ’50s both influenced the utilitarian mindset that dictates the rules of usage in ‘The Elements of Style.’(The Daily Beast)

The thing Bernie Sanders says about inequality that no other candidate will touch:  America’s leaders shouldn’t worry so much about economic growth if that growth serves to enrich only the wealthiest Americans. (Washington Post)

After Laying off 175 Workers, J.Crew Exec Celebrates at a Bar, Jokes About ‘Hunger Games’: You have to wonder what Alejandro Rhett was thinking when he Instagrammed his fun night. #fuckyoulittlepeople (Alternet)

Jeb Bush’s ‘Longer Hours’ Remark Will Haunt Him: Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush seems to have earned what is now a rite of passage for White House hopefuls: the out-of-context quote that will be replayed thousands of times. On Wednesday, Bush was speaking to the conservative editorial board of the New Hampshire Union Leader when he seemed to say Americans need to work harder if they want the economy to grow: “It means that people need to work longer hours.”  The comment comes the week after Bush released tax returns that show he made almost $29 million between 2007, when he left the Governor’s office, and 2013. (TIME)

Shirley Bassey brings the house down with an unbelievable rendition of “I, Who Have Nothing”: