An Australian company going by the name Ship Your Enemies Glitter is offering to ... do I even have to finish this sentence? Wait, here: “So pay us money, provide an address anywhere in the world & we’ll send them so much glitter in an envelope that they’ll be finding that shit everywhere for weeks.”

The cost is $9.99 in Australian dollars, which is the equivalent of $8.14 in U.S. dollars. They refer to glitter as “the herpes of the craft world” because once the recipient opens the envelope then it will take forever to get the glitter out of every orifice, carpet, cushioned piece of furniture, plate of shrimp, etc. Of course if you’re not a complete fucking idiot you’ll open the envelope carefully and make sure not to get the glitter anywhere.

Here’s their rude FAQ section:
 

Is this for real?
Yes, you fucking idiot. We spent too much time, money & resources putting this shit hole of a website up to not get paid for it.

How does it work?
Click the buy button. Decide whose day you want to ruin & then enter their address.

What happens after I give you my money?
We’ll vomit up a tonne of glitter & put it in an envelope with your recipients address on the front of it. We’ll also include a note telling them how awful they are which will be folded within.

Will the recipient know who sent the glitter?
Not unless you open your mouth.

My recipient got glitter in both eyeballs, is now blind & would like to file charges. Help?
Heh.

How much does it cost?
$9.99AUD for anywhere in the world. Come on, it’s Australian Dollars so it’s probably only a few bucks for you.

Why should I pay you to send glitter to someone I hate?
First off, use your fucking imagination. We’re going to be pouring a tonne of glitter into an envelope with a folded up piece of paper. You know what’s going to happen when that fuckface opens the envelope & pulls out the letter? The craft herpes will be released & will go everywhere.

Why are you so obsessed with glitter?
Go fuck yourself.

 

 
Thanks to Genna Petrolla!